REPORT: One year in the US with my Barranquillian wife.

[fathertime]

It has been one year since my Barranquillan wife has been here with me.  I thought I would mention how it is going.  So far so good, we get along well and although we had disagreements in the early going, there seems to a good understanding of what our boundaries are now.  I had to take a couple strong stands early on and was prepared to dissolve the relationship if necessary but it never came to that.  Our life together is still much like I imagine life was in the US in the 1950’s.  My wife is in house most of the time and takes care of most of the household duties.  She is not very interested in going out and ‘doing’ things.  She is a homebody which suits our needs well.  We usually take walks in the evening and we go to the gym together although that is slowing since she is entering her 3rd trimester now.  My wife is very low maintenance, she doesn’t really need much and she even when I give her money to shop, she rarely buys more than one item. 
When we enter the new phase of parenthood together it shall be an interesting test to see how that goes.  One of my wife’s favorite habits is to sleep, and that will be curtained quite a bit by a new crying child. 

All in all, going to Colombia and plucking this babe has been one of the better decisions I have made in my life and I’m hoping to keep staying on the right path with her.  It is still hard for me to believe how lucky I have gotten with my wife.  I’m no different than your average drone/idiot on the street but my wife is quite a bit different than most people my age have.  All it took was a willingness to travel to a foreign land and show an interest in learning…well maybe it took a few other minor things.

  There is one thing I would like to see improve and that would be my wife using English more.  She is going to see how crucial it is speak English after the child is born and I’m going to make a big push for her to more onboard with the idea.  My previous kids are now pretty capable in Spanish, so it has been a great benefit for the family to be exposed to so much Spanish language.
Anywhoo that is all for now.

Fathertime!

[Kiltboy1]

Congrats FT
I wish you many years of happiness. I think that time and patience is what all guys need to consider when marrying a Latin woman. You cannot expect her to come here and FIT in automatically. My wife and I have been married almost 4 years and she just got her conditional residence removed to permanent after being here 2 years and it is only the last 6 months that things smoothed out to as near perfection as I could imagine. 3 months, 6 months, nah, not enough time. Again, Best Wishes

KB

[Jeff S]

Yes - congrats FT. I feel the same way about my wife - We're a lot more like Ward and June Cleaver than any of my friends, some of whose wives, I'd seriously consider suicide if I had to put up with. Best wishes and prayers for junior too.

I wouldn't worry too much about the kid not learning proper English at first, better he get comfortable with Spanish. I know all sorts of native Spanish speakers born in the US who started kindergarten without knowing a word of English - and had no troubles at all in school, some even getting advanced degrees. In fact a good friend of mine is a NASA JPL phd, who grew up in East Los, and didn't know a word of English til he started school. BTW, he want to Garfield High and his math teacher was Heime Escalante.

[whitey]

All in all, going to Colombia and plucking this babe has been one of the better decisions I have made in my life and I’m hoping to keep staying on the right path with her.  It is still hard for me to believe how lucky I have gotten with my wife.  I’m no different than your average drone/idiot on the street but my wife is quite a bit different than most people my age have.  All it took was a willingness to travel to a foreign land and show an interest in learning…well maybe it took a few other minor things.

Congrats FT and thanks for posting an update ... glad to hear things are going well with you y la Senora FT.

I feel exactly the same as what you wrote above ... I don't think I'm much different from your average guy, but something is a little different about those of us who go to Colombia seeking a serious relationship.

Just do it!

[Gato4Astrid]

Congratulations FT

[throwawaydad]

Eh. Where do I start?

You better get ready to start helping out, my friend.

I say that without malice.  The care and maintenance of infants / babies / toddlers is a skill you need to learn.  You’re the FATHER, after all.  Mano-to-mano, it will be good for you.

My ex-wife was Venezuelan / Ukrainian, so I don’t know if that has any bearing, but keep this in mind.

About six months after our first baby arrived, my ex-wife was batsh1t crazy.  There were times when my wife straddling me at 3:00 am would awaken me.  Now I understand the concept of “Irish Twins”.

I’m not going to repeat the whole story, but when my kids were young, I had the opportunity to spend almost 2 years at home playing “Mr. Mom”.  It frustrated me, but when I reflect on that time, no matter what anyone thinks of me, or my opinion… no matter what anyone thinks of my station in life, the way I dress, or how I conduct my life, or anything else…NO ONE can take THAT away from me.

If by chance you get the opportunity…DO IT.

Congratulations on your (and your spouse’s) success so far. Stay the course and continue to work on your relationship.

I hope this day finds everyone well.

[Ray]

Hey FT,

Good work bozo!   

Ray

[Chris F]

Congrats on hitting the first year!!!

 

[kojak]

Congrats FT.

Wishing you many more years of happiness together!!!

[Researcher]

    My wife and I have been married for 3 years now.I think the most important thing is finding a woman that is right for you.IMO, that takes being honest with yourself.I still consider myself to be very lucky in finding her.


  Researcher

[fathertime]

Eh. Where do I start?

You better get ready to start helping out, my friend.

I say that without malice.  The care and maintenance of infants / babies / toddlers is a skill you need to learn.  You’re the FATHER, after all.  Mano-to-mano, it will be good for you.

My ex-wife was Venezuelan / Ukrainian, so I don’t know if that has any bearing, but keep this in mind.

About six months after our first baby arrived, my ex-wife was batsh1t crazy.  There were times when my wife straddling me at 3:00 am would awaken me.  Now I understand the concept of “Irish Twins”.

I’m not going to repeat the whole story, but when my kids were young, I had the opportunity to spend almost 2 years at home playing “Mr. Mom”.  It frustrated me, but when I reflect on that time, no matter what anyone thinks of me, or my opinion… no matter what anyone thinks of my station in life, the way I dress, or how I conduct my life, or anything else…NO ONE can take THAT away from me.

If by chance you get the opportunity…DO IT.

Congratulations on your (and your spouse’s) success so far. Stay the course and continue to work on your relationship.

I hope this day finds everyone well.

Hey ThrowawayPapa!
Thanks for relaying your experiences.  There is a chance I will be a 'Mr Mom' too for a while,  my wife has never changed a diaper full of caca before and I'm a pro at this after being quite hands on with my previous children.  I want my wife to obtain some experience though and get broken in, because it won't be too long before I hit old age and she will be changing my big caca diapers too! 

Yes - congrats FT. I feel the same way about my wife - We're a lot more like Ward and June Cleaver than any of my friends, some of whose wives, I'd seriously consider suicide if I had to put up with. Best wishes and prayers for junior too

I also don't understand how some of my good buddies are able to obtain an erection with their wives when they are so morbidly obese.  I think in part there is some mutual low self-esteem and a comfort factor that keeps these couples together despite the lack of physical attraction.  That would never work for me in this lifetime!

I feel exactly the same as what you wrote above ... I don't think I'm much different from your average guy, but something is a little different about those of us who go to Colombia seeking a serious relationship.

Just do it!

Well Whitey, I imagine one difference between a man going to Colombia and your average goofball on the street is a greater sense of adventure which I have always had.  Sometimes that trait does not serve me well, but in this case it has!  Most of my single buddies, just get themselves on a plane, part of it is they are just too scared of the unknown.




Fathertime!

[John W]

Fathertime,

Congratulations on happily reaching the one year mark, and best of luck in the future.  If I remember correctly, I think your wife is about 24 or 25 and you are in your early 40s.  From my limited travels to South America (Colombia and Peru), it seems to me most women in their mid 20s still really enjoy the night life.  I think the same is true for American women.  Most American men in their 40s are way past the night life stage.  I think this is one of several examples where a mid twenty something Latina and an American man in his early 40s are not compatible. Do you agree with this observation and do you think the fact that your wife is somewhat of a homebody was a significant factor in your relationship being successful so far?

[fathertime]

Fathertime,

Congratulations on happily reaching the one year mark, and best of luck in the future.  If I remember correctly, I think your wife is about 24 or 25 and you are in your early 40s.  From my limited travels to South America (Colombia and Peru), it seems to me most women in their mid 20s still really enjoy the night life.  I think the same is true for American women.  Most American men in their 40s are way past the night life stage.  I think this is one of several examples where a mid twenty something Latina and an American man in his early 40s are not compatible. Do you agree with this observation and do you think the fact that your wife is somewhat of a homebody was a significant factor in your relationship being successful so far?

Hey John W! 

I would say the fact that she is not interested in ‘nightlife’ is a big factor in why we are doing well.  If it turned out she wanted to go out and ‘party’ that could have been a major problem for me.  That was not the gal I dated in Colombia and not what I would have expected when she arrived here.  I might have accommodated a little ‘partying’ depending on the entire context of it, but as it turns out that is just not her style and it really isn’t mine either.  Funny thing is, when I don’t have the kids and we are on the road (in Vegas) she is the one who wants to relax in the hotel room hot tub, or TV while I’m out playing cards.  She is a great gal though, she just tells me to go out and ‘win’ and doesn’t sweat me when I get back real late sometimes. 

Fathertime!

[Chris F]

and we are on the road (in Vegas) she is the one who wants to relax in the hotel room hot tub, or TV while I’m out playing cards.  She is a great gal though, she just tells me to go out and ‘win’ and doesn’t sweat me when I get back real late sometimes. 

Fathertime!

My wife loves Vegas as much as I do!! She is at the table with me also playing pai gow poker with me until three in the morning!!

[Dave H]

Congratulations Father and Mrs. Time!

Dave

[fathertime]

My wife loves Vegas as much as I do!! She is at the table with me also playing pai gow poker with me until three in the morning!!

Hey ChrisF!

Just played a little pai gow this past weekend while my lady was relaxing in the room.  I love that stupid game, I was at the Palazzo.  Where do you and your wife usually go?  Do you have any upcoming trips planned?

Fathertime!

[michaelb]

Ha, at first I thought when you wrote 'Plazzo' you were making fun of the Plaza, but I searched and lo and behold, there is a Plazzo....must be new (I haven't been to LV for about 7 or 8 years), and it looks like it may be a little more expensive than the Plaza . Oh, the good old days, when you could get RT air out of Dallas and 4 days in a hotel for $115, and play BJ for $1.00 a hand....but no more.

Oh, and congratulation on your 1 year milestone.

[Chris F]

Hey ChrisF!

Just played a little pai gow this past weekend while my lady was relaxing in the room.  I love that stupid game, I was at the Palazzo.  Where do you and your wife usually go?  Do you have any upcoming trips planned?

Fathertime!

Hey Fathertime!!!

Will be there next week for two days. We are probably going to stay somewhere mid strip.

If your going back that soon........we would love to see you both there!!

[JimmySTLOUIS]

Congrats Fathertime!

sounds like you have a winner


how about giving any newbies out there your one best piece of advice .........


TE AMO PERU!
Jim

[fathertime]

Hey Fathertime!!!

Will be there next week for two days. We are probably going to stay somewhere mid strip.

If your going back that soon........we would love to see you both there!!

Well ChrisF, we are going to miss each other by a few days it looks like.  I'll be back in Vegas pretty soon but not this week, heading to SD for a couple days instead.  Have fun but don't grab your ankles TOO hard. 

Fathertime!

[fathertime]

Ha, at first I thought when you wrote 'Plazzo' you were making fun of the Plaza, but I searched and lo and behold, there is a Plazzo....must be new (I haven't been to LV for about 7 or 8 years), and it looks like it may be a little more expensive than the Plaza . Oh, the good old days, when you could get RT air out of Dallas and 4 days in a hotel for $115, and play BJ for $1.00 a hand....but no more.

Oh, and congratulation on your 1 year milestone.

thanks Michaelb,

I stayed at "The Plaza" many years ago when I was just barely 21. It was always sorta dumpy, but a fun place to play.   On the other hand, the Palazzo is really first class, it is my favorite place to stay in Vegas.  It was built along the strip where The Sands used to be. 

Fathertime!

Fathertime!

[fathertime]

Congrats Fathertime!

sounds like you have a winner


how about giving any newbies out there your one best piece of advice .........


TE AMO PERU!
Jim

Thanks Jimmy,
I don't know that I have much in the way of generic advice except to say NOT to put TOO much stock in the horror stories you hear from others that have crashed and burned, because it will make a person TOO defensive.  Virtually all of us have the capacity to do this thing right.

Fathertime!

[Henry]

fathertime, congratulations! I am truly happy you are doing so well, man. Time sure flies, doesnt it? It just doesnt seem that long.

Two questions for you: how much non-Spanish TV does your wife watch? And have you noticed any of the disease I call "Americanization" at all?

[Pivery]

 Fathertime,

Let me also send my congratulations to you and the little lady for your one year together. I guess now
she has finally decided to put up with you for good, eh?

I wake up every morning and thank what luck I have for scoring my lady. She takes good care of me, so
I too have no intention of letting a good one get away. Looks like we both got lucky with the same make
and model!

My best to you and yours -

Pivery

[vanderweerdtmike]

Hi Fathertime,

I want to tell you this also: "congratz!"

I hope I can have the same and good story likes yours

I'm also looking for a woman from Colombia (or Brazil), you have any good advice to give me?
How did you meet your wife?

Kind regards!