Difficult Questions

[throwawaydad]

Another couple of questions:

RELIGION

I was born and raised Baptist.

Hell and brim fire.  My parents were killed in a car crash when I was 16.  I was an only child.  The Church didn’t do sh1te for me.  I guess we weren’t Baptist enough.

I left the Church when and never went back.  The last time I was IN a church was when I was married, over 20 years ago.

I live my life in what I believe to be a decent, spiritual way.  I REALLY try to do the right thing every day.  It doesn’t always work out but after all, life’s not a Disney movie.

It seems that Catholicism is the predominant religion in the P.I.  When your wife came to the U.S., did she grind your azz about going to Mass?

Here are my thoughts:

Here’s the car.
Here are the keys.
There’s the Church.
Go for it.
Be careful.
Say a prayer for me.
I Love You.

Does your spouse “drag” your sorry azz to Church?  Or is she content with you crossing the River Styx when you expire?  Or is it a “non-issue”.  In “general” what is the prevailing thought.  Did your spouse “throttle back” her spirituality?


CONTRACEPTION

I have a Good Friend…No, let me take that back, one of my VERY FEW best friends.

VERY Catholic.

One day we get in a car, and he’s driving.  There’s a pause and I hear him reciting a prayer.

“What’s that?”

“It’s a prayer I say before I drive.”

“HAHAHAHA”

“Shame on you.”

This is a good, good guy, with a sweet wife and a wonderful family.  I Love him like a brother.  And he knows that whatever happens, I’ve “got” his azz.  He’s worked hard all his life, and he does well.  They have nine kids.

NINE KIDS.

I can’t imagine abortion is legal in the P.I.

What about oral contraception?

I’m not comfortable with abortion.  But what about birth control?

Did your spouse embrace the concept of oral contraception?

Or am I just being a fool, and should I let me spouse tell me when, where, and how.

These are VERY sensitive subjects, and if you prefer to PM me, well I understand.

[Dave H]

It seems that Catholicism is the predominant religion in the P.I.  When your wife came to the U.S., did she grind your azz about going to Mass?

Hey throwawaydad,


NEVER! Not to this very day (almost 9 years married)!

Does your spouse “drag” your sorry azz to Church?  Or is she content with you crossing the River Styx when you expire?  Or is it a “non-issue”.  In “general” what is the prevailing thought.  Did your spouse “throttle back” her spirituality?

A “non-issue”. 

CONTRACEPTION
I can’t imagine abortion is legal in the P.I.

What about oral contraception?

No, abortion is NOT legal in the P.I.

Other means - oral contraception, IUD, condoms are legal.

I believe that the Catholic Church supports Natural Family Planning, in certain situations. But I am not at all qualified to answer that. Ray can accurately answer that issue.


Us - Abortion NO! Other means, our decision.

I have a Good Friend…No, let me take that back, one of my VERY FEW best friends.

VERY Catholic.

One day we get in a car, and he’s driving.  There’s a pause and I hear him reciting a prayer.

“What’s that?”

“It’s a prayer I say before I drive.”

My Filipina wife just makes the sign of the cross...but then again, so do most atheists who ride with me!  You will never see anyone sitting on the side of my pickup truck bed when I drive through town...they are all on the floor looking for something to hold onto!


Dave

[Ray]

These topics have been discussed here numerous times so don’t worry about sensitive readers.

It would be highly unusual for a Filipina Catholic to pressure you to join her faith or insist that you go to mass with her. Most will be happy if you make some allowances for her to worship on her own or with any children you may have together. Until she gets a license, she would probably be grateful if you could drop her off at church for an hour or so on Sundays while you watch football at home.

Abortion and birth control are against the teachings of the Church, but she may be open to using birth control pills or other means of contraception, especially after she has a child or two. Most will not want nine kids either. Discuss this with her before marriage.

The Philippine government supports birth control and family planning for population control reasons. Even if she is not willing to use artificial birth control, there are natural methods that the Church endorses.

If she is a traditional practicing Catholic, she may want to be married in the Church. This is normally allowed for a Catholic to marry a non-Catholic in Church. The fact that you were baptized as a Baptist would generally make it easier for you to do this. A few local jurisdictions in the Philippines may insist that you convert to Catholicism before marrying in the Church, but the Catholic Church’s overall policy does not require you to convert.

There have been many non-Catholic members here who married Catholic Filipina women and I can not remember anyone getting pressured by their wives to practice their faith with them. The fact that you at least believe in a God and try to live a good life, while allowing them to practice their own faith, is normally all it would take to make them happy.

Ray

[Dave H]

There have been many non-Catholic members here who married Catholic Filipina women and I can not remember anyone getting pressured by their wives to practice their faith with them. The fact that you at least believe in a God and try to live a good life, while allowing them to practice their own faith, is normally all it would take to make them happy.

Ray

Hey Ray,

Neither my wife or her 3 married sisters are married to Catholics. It has never presented a problem, since we have no problem letting them practice their own faith. I will probably become a Catholic (on my own, with absolutely no pressure or requests from my wife) in the near future.

Dave

[Jhengsman]

Another couple of questions:

RELIGION


It seems that Catholicism is the predominant religion in the P.I.  When your wife came to the U.S., did she grind your azz about going to Mass?



Does your spouse “drag” your sorry azz to Church?  Or is she content with you crossing the River Styx when you expire?  Or is it a “non-issue”.  In “general” what is the prevailing thought.  Did your spouse “throttle back” her spirituality?


CONTRACEPTION

She does Saturday Mass while I'm at work and TV Mass from the Philippines Sunday morning then I drag her to my church on Sundays 

Contraceptives, she is the one who insist on using it.

Other issues we were the first ones to be married in a church, mine by the way, on either side of the family. At this point because I studied it to get ready for a life together with her I know more of the Catholic "rules" then she does even if i would be lost during the rituals. For example she didn't believe me when I told her I couldn't have communion when we do visit Catholic churches together because it was against the rules of the Catholic Church.

But then our families is a bit different. Her kuya (oldest brother) had joined a Pentecostal church much like mine and her baby brother married a practicing Muslim. And she has done the Charismatic Catholic path. Meanwhile my family members who live closes to us are Muslim with the other Christians who run the table from Catholic to Methodist to Baptist to Jehovah's Witness are spread all over the country.

[Dave H]

But then our families is a bit different. Her kuya (oldest brother) had joined a Pentecostal church much like mine and her baby brother married a practicing Muslim. And she has done the Charismatic Catholic path. Meanwhile my family members who live closes to us are Muslim with the other Christians who run the table from Catholic to Methodist to Baptist to Jehovah's Witness are spread all over the country.

Hey Jhengsma,

WOW! I guess discussing religion at family get to-gethers is probably not a good idea! 

Dave

[Jhengsman]

Hey Jhengsma,

WOW! I guess discussing religion at family get to-gethers is probably not a good idea! 

Dave

Actually there is only a problem with one as her faith has separated her from her sisters.