Going Expat

[Jeff S]

No wonder you don't have any trouble. The local gossip is probably: stay far away from that cazy kano:

[Kiltboy1]

My Wife and I will Go Ex Pat  in about 12 years  which would make me 58. We already own a home in Quito and are going to look at buying land in Puertoviejo/Manta(coast) next year so we can build a second home eventually.Too expensive here in the states to retire well and in Ecuador we can live like Royalty for 2K a month. Fresh air, Fresh food, Freshly made bed by your 6 day a week housekeeper for 150 dollars a month, Cannot beat it and historically corrupt government(where is one that is not) but stable peace without rebels aka FARCE types, so should be fine down the line. HE MAY GO EX PAT ALL THE WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

KB

[mudd]

a lot better places to retire than Colombia,  New zealand, parts of the pacific, Caribbean, Ecuador, Chilie, Uruguay, Argentina, panama, parts of Ukraine on the  black sea. even parts of Brazil

[Dave H]

Hey Jeff,

I think you are partially correct. It's a new neighborhood for us, but they are quickly learning! They should worry more about my wife!  She is well respected (perhaps "feared" is a better word) in her home barangay! Trouble was, they thought that my wife was from out of town. They now know that she comes from one of the toughest barangays here. She has a lot of classmates here in our new neighborhood who advised the punks that it would not be very wise to piss her off! 

I went out on my motorcycle at 1:30 AM to buy medicine at the drug store tonight. 10 guys were frogging in the canal outside of our wall. They all said "good evening sir!" when I came out. 

Dave

[fathertime]

I don’t think I’d want to live in Colombia since I’m married now.  I would not want that temptation around me all the time.  It would just be tortuous.  I would consider living in Colombia if I were single simply because of the available women, but I don’t see the point of living there when married and the other women are off-limits. 

Fathertime!

[JimD]

As well as Colombia I have considered Ecuador. I kind of liked Loja down near the southern border when I visited but the women were pretty plane. Another alternative with probobly more attractive women is Haiti but of course you´d have to learn French. However you could use your Spanish on jaunts accross the border. Here´s a helpful website:

http://board.classifieds1000.com/Haiti/recent

[kojak]

I don’t think I’d want to live in Colombia since I’m married now.  I would not want that temptation around me all the time.  It would just be tortuous.  I would consider living in Colombia if I were single simply because of the available women, but I don’t see the point of living there when married and the other women are off-limits. 

Fathertime!

I know exactly what you mean Fathertime, When I was with my ex caleña we discuss living in Colombia full time she was very apprehensive about that. Told me maybe after starting our family and living abroad for several years, so I asked her why she told me that there are way too many temptation for a man in Cali.

She was right about that, living in Cali for those 16 months I acted like a dam fool, though I was "Don Juan" I got so dam cocky, spent many a nights sleeping in front of my door after partying the entire night. Even had some of her female cousins coming by our apartment when my ex-wife wasn't there. At times all that attention from the opposite sex can definitely be overwhelming if you're not use to it.

Funny thing is, I remember having a conversation with my father in law "suegro" and his brother, they both have girlfriends apart from there wives, they told me that it was the duty of a Colombian men to have several girlfriends besides there wife, true story....so I asked why, told me that quiet a few ladies from the smaller villages that come into the cities never get a chance to marry, they get knocked up and Colombian men rarely marry women with children. Don't really know how true that is but that's what they told me. 

[Alabamaboy!]

I know exactly what you mean Fathertime, When I was with my ex caleña we discuss living in Colombia full time she was very apprehensive about that. Told me maybe after starting our family and living abroad for several years, so I asked her why she told me that there are way too many temptation for a man in Cali.

She was right about that, living in Cali for those 16 months I acted like a dam fool, though I was "Don Juan" I got so dam cocky, spent many a nights sleeping in front of my door after partying the entire night. Even had some of her female cousins coming by our apartment when my ex-wife wasn't there. At times all that attention from the opposite sex can definitely be overwhelming if you're not use to it.

Funny thing is, I remember having a conversation with my father in law "suegro" and his brother, they both have girlfriends apart from there wives, they told me that it was the duty of a Colombian men to have several girlfriends besides there wife, true story....so I asked why, told me that quiet a few ladies from the smaller villages that come into the cities never get a chance to marry, they get knocked up and Colombian men rarely marry women with children. Don't really know how true that is but that's what they told me. 

I was told that many times as well there. And not just by the men. The women told me too. They tend to look at you as a pus*sy if you have the money to get other women and you don't. They kept telling me 7 was the magic number. You can not have more than 7 other chicas on the side. And you should not parade them out in public and humiliate the wife or number one.

[mudd]

a married foreign man living in Colombia???  very very few would not fool around. i know a few gringos who were straight shooters before they started living in Colombia and now are just a bad as the local men, just too easy to be a player. and divorce laws are changing in Colombia, wife is entitled to 50% of your assets when divorced and if you live together for 2 years with a novia, she is considered  a common law wife and is also entitled to half.

[fathertime]

I know exactly what you mean Fathertime, When I was with my ex caleña we discuss living in Colombia full time she was very apprehensive about that. Told me maybe after starting our family and living abroad for several years, so I asked her why she told me that there are way too many temptation for a man in Cali.

She was right about that, living in Cali for those 16 months I acted like a dam fool, though I was "Don Juan" I got so dam cocky, spent many a nights sleeping in front of my door after partying the entire night. Even had some of her female cousins coming by our apartment when my ex-wife wasn't there. At times all that attention from the opposite sex can definitely be overwhelming if you're not use to it.

Funny thing is, I remember having a conversation with my father in law "suegro" and his brother, they both have girlfriends apart from there wives, they told me that it was the duty of a Colombian men to have several girlfriends besides there wife, true story....so I asked why, told me that quiet a few ladies from the smaller villages that come into the cities never get a chance to marry, they get knocked up and Colombian men rarely marry women with children. Don't really know how true that is but that's what they told me. 

Hey Kojak!
 I am aware that living in Colombia while married would pretty much give me the opportunity to live the lifestyle you are describing and a part of me would REALLY enjoy that quite a lot as I'm sure a part of you enjoyed being 'Don Juan'.  For me one of the problems with it is that I imagine there is cost to living like this.  I would rather not model this behavior for my girls to witness as I would rather they see a solid marriage where a man is faithful to his wife because that is what I want for them.  I suspect karma would strike back and how I behave in marriage with my wife will haunt my children in some way.  Besides, I’ve have already been rather self-indulgent for quite a few years, at some point it just does not seem necessary to have extra women on the side, but if living in Colombia I don’t see how any man could resist the temptation with so many short-skirted babes throwing themselves at you,  so I just gotta keep myself out of the situation.
 On the other hand, if the finances are there and i'm single and the kids are grown, my ass would be in Colombia, but that is a lot of if’s and certainly not the "A" plan.
Fathertime!

[robert angel]

Re:

>>At the rate we're going, we could easily become a second rate East Germany. Hell, people would be digging tunnels to get INTO Mexico.<<


Sounds like they may not even "Leave the light on for you" at the Motel 6 anymore even.....

And the only way I've been able to 'sharpen my wits' has been by getting a good night's sleep at Holiday Inn Express motels and that'll go too.

And I thought the fall of the Roman empire was complicated....

[kojak]

Hey Kojak!
 I am aware that living in Colombia while married would pretty much give me the opportunity to live the lifestyle you are describing and a part of me would REALLY enjoy that quite a lot as I'm sure a part of you enjoyed being 'Don Juan'.  For me one of the problems with it is that I imagine there is cost to living like this.  I would rather not model this behavior for my girls to witness as I would rather they see a solid marriage where a man is faithful to his wife because that is what I want for them.  I suspect karma would strike back and how I behave in marriage with my wife will haunt my children in some way.  Besides, I’ve have already been rather self-indulgent for quite a few years, at some point it just does not seem necessary to have extra women on the side, but if living in Colombia I don’t see how any man could resist the temptation with so many short-skirted babes throwing themselves at you,  so I just gotta keep myself out of the situation.
 On the other hand, if the finances are there and i'm single and the kids are grown, my ass would be in Colombia, but that is a lot of if’s and certainly not the "A" plan.
Fathertime!

Looking back at that time in my life I was not prepared for marriage, it really takes a lot of maturity to deal with the ups and downs of a marriage specially when you're overseas...now that I look back, I should have never gotten married, as much as I care for my ex I was immature when it came to respecting my marriage vows. Its about respect, I sure as hell wouldn't want my wife screwing around behind my back so don't do it to her. Oh well you live and learn...

[robert angel]

Re:

>>Looking back at that time in my life I was not prepared for marriage, it really takes a lot of maturity to deal with the ups and downs of a marriage specially when you're overseas...now that I look back, I should have never gotten married, as much as I care for my ex I was immature when it came to respecting my marriage vows. Its about respect, I sure as hell wouldn't want my wife screwing around behind my back so don't do it to her. Oh well you live and learn...<<

I really have to say I respect Kokak's above comment and him owing up to things, looking back and all

I had issues of a different nature in my first marriage--with the short comings--hell, the canyons dividing us, and they weren't all her fault for sure. Yes I fell into a trap maybe, marrying a gal I didn't know was illegally overstaying her work visa, figuring if she was working for huge hospital as an RN that just couldn't be the case, l but I played out a lot of options other than physical infidelity that screwed things up worse. I should've known she had emotional issues beforehand, but I didn't take the time and I wasn't really into 'reading the signs'--I thought it was basically 'time to get married' and she seemed like a safe, pretty option at the time--and I didn't put enough time into the decision.

I have said a number of times that I think that this second marriage would have a better chance of lasting longer and more happily if we lived in HER country. We're not in a real bad way now, but in a lot of ways, things could be simpler 'over there'....

That said, I think I have always qualified that with the realization it would only be better if I could resist the  persistant and strong 'temptations' that almost no matter what, for whatever crazy reason, the women in the area my wife is from want to jump my bones---as in screw this kano, for some crazy reason, because I'm for sure not movie star handsome. And my wife promises me that ten years or fifteen from now even, they'd STILL be that way!

Combine that with the fact that I do find these women very attractive and I just have to weigh the realities out. I can honestly say I've never screwed around with other women as a married man, but while opportunities were (are) there, they'd be a slim fraction of what I'd be dealing with over there and the attractiveness of the 'available'  women being of much higher quality compared to the typical AW..


My guy friends here, and some of them are resolute about staying single and playing the field- most certainly say I'd be a complete and idiotic FOOL to fool around on my wife. I've taken a few friends to parties where large numbers of very attractive Filipinas were and they've told me--"Man--you got THE best one"--the belle of the ball, etc...

She doesn't consider herself a sexy 'hottie', but others think shes as cute as can be,. She's just a young, beautiful lady.  She's just not 'full of herself' although after more than 5 years in the USA, her confidence has risen and she knows I'm a lucky guy. She may be humble, but she has a quiet 'self pride', self respect and she's not stupid.  Nobody seems to think I'd have as much luck anywhere else, and I'd have to agree at this point.


So it all boils down to realizing when you've got it good, keeping it that way and being able to keep your pants on by resisting temptation here and especially over there, where it's an everyday thing pretty much.

I think I'd feel REAL bad to be in my late 50's down the road,or even worse, older, and having thrown away a sexy, faithful and vibrant life partner for a tryst with some sexy young thing who wants to bang some Kano just for the hell of it. Yea, I might score that day, but in the bigger game, I'd lose big time.

I don't know how Dave H does it, with all the cuties wanting him to match them up and all, over there. I reckon his wife must keep the legendary purple thong in a safe deposit box or something.

All I know is when I'm over there, my wife and her family watch me really closely, always more than happy to escort me on any errands beyond their immediate view!

[Dave H]

I don’t think I’d want to live in Colombia since I’m married now.  I would not want that temptation around me all the time.  It would just be tortuous.  I would consider living in Colombia if I were single simply because of the available women, but I don’t see the point of living there when married and the other women are off-limits.  

Fathertime!

Hey Fathertime,

Like living in South Florida!   I had women knocking on my door...and I'm not talking Jehovah's Witnesses! 

Dave

"But I didn't order any of this..." 

[kojak]

You crack me up Dave   keep up the good work my friend, in this world it's easier to swallow sugar than vinegar. Had a good friend of mine his name was also Dave, he passed away this Thursday in a car accident, I'm attending his funeral this weekend in Missouri....tragic for one of your friends to die so young, he was 32 years young.....    

[Dave H]

Had a good friend of mine his name was also Dave, he passed away this Thursday in a car accident, I'm attending his funeral this weekend in Missouri....tragic for one of your friends to die so young, he was 32 years young.....    

Hey kojak,

I'm very sorry to hear that! My condolences!

Dave

[fathertime]

Looking back at that time in my life I was not prepared for marriage, it really takes a lot of maturity to deal with the ups and downs of a marriage specially when you're overseas...now that I look back, I should have never gotten married, as much as I care for my ex I was immature when it came to respecting my marriage vows. Its about respect, I sure as hell wouldn't want my wife screwing around behind my back so don't do it to her. Oh well you live and learn...

Well Kojak, I am too old and have too much knowledge (from reading others posts) to have any excuses, if I were to move to Colombia I would know exactly what I'm getting into before I set foot on ground.  Thanks for relaying your experiences, it appears you have a better understanding of yourself nowadays.  Given all you have been through and all you know now, do you think you would handle a future marriage differently if you lived in Colombia with her?

Fathertime!

[kojak]

Well Kojak, I am too old and have too much knowledge (from reading others posts) to have any excuses, if I were to move to Colombia I would know exactly what I'm getting into before I set foot on ground.  Thanks for relaying your experiences, it appears you have a better understanding of yourself nowadays.  Given all you have been through and all you know now, do you think you would handle a future marriage differently if you lived in Colombia with her?

Fathertime!

Yeah I think that I'm a little wiser now, I definitely know that I want to get marry, want a family if possible. If I wanted to screw around no need to get marry, pretty simple choice.

I think that I could handle living in Colombia a lot better now, when it came to not screwing around. Problem that I see is having too much idle time, if your not working living off your retirement ect..."Idle Hands Are The Devil's Tools" (when you have nothing to do you are more likely to get into trouble... ) most guys that make the move to Colombia aren't going there to work, most are retired maybe doing something on the side but to work a full time job no.

 

 

[Calipro]

a married foreign man living in Colombia???  very very few would not fool around. i know a few gringos who were straight shooters before they started living in Colombia and now are just a bad as the local men, just too easy to be a player. and divorce laws are changing in Colombia, wife is entitled to 50% of your assets when divorced and if you live together for 2 years with a novia, she is considered  a common law wife and is also entitled to half.

Your Colombian wife is entitled to 50% of the assets you accumulate in Colombia AFTER the marriage. This has no effect on your assets in the States but if she can come here she might also be entitled to half the assets you accumulated in the States while married as well.


Getting a divorce in Colombia was a hassle. Even though there was very little in the way of assets that accumulated during my two year marriage... my wife would not sign the divorce papers. This left me two options the expense of going to divorce court and the two year wait for it to finalize or give my ex more than she was due just to get the thing over and done with.

My ex knew that I wanted to buy a car here in Cali and get on with my life so she held out and got more than she was really entitled to.

On a positive note Colombian prenups are iron clad and you can stipulate that your ex gets as little as nothing but this will almost guarantee that you will have to go to court and wait two years to get a divorce because they will never sign the papers if there is nothing in it for them. I suggest you put in the prenup that they get 5 million pesos the days they sign the divorce papers and nothing more.

American guys really shouldn't get married if they plan on living in Colombia unless they have children here which gives them certain legal rights. It is almost impossible to be faithful here for any length of time.

[JimD]

And just a reminder for those going expat in Colombi: the union libre ( ie. living together) acquires the legal status of commonlaw marriage after just two years. All she needs to prove the time line are a few witnesses like the portero to your building. Best to sign a prenup if you plan to just live with her too. If you don´t you can probobly stop the clock but a trip for a couple of months out of the country as evidenced by your passport but if you continue to pay rent and utilities where you both lived that could complicate your case for having "separated" for a time.

[Henry]

a married foreign man living in Colombia???  very very few would not fool around. i know a few gringos who were straight shooters before they started living in Colombia and now are just a bad as the local men, just too easy to be a player. and divorce laws are changing in Colombia, wife is entitled to 50% of your assets when divorced and if you live together for 2 years with a novia, she is considered  a common law wife and is also entitled to half.

Bad news. That just means the divorce rate will skyrocket and in 10 years Colombian women will be more similar to California USA women.