European / Modern Sensibitilities

[Ray]

You need to first pick a country whose culture you enjoy and can feel a part of...

But Jeff, acording to sappy33, you can NEVER be a part of the culture unless you were born there...

[z_k_g]

All of that said, if you're looking for a country where there are a lot of single sophisticated, worldly, elegant, easy to get along with women, who easily dovetail into modern Western society, who you can feel bring as much to your relationship as you do, you'll have to look far and wide to find one with more than Japan. Just one man's opinion. Your mileage may vary.

AGreed!!

Zulu

[Capstone]

I have spent a good bit of time traveling throughout Asia and have lived & worked in Japan for 3 years as well. If you are looking for sophisticated, elegant, intelligent, worldly women who know how to treat a man (as has Jeff said) then I would agree that Japan would probably be the best place to look. You can of course find all of these qualities in women in all Asian countries but Japan would probably offer the largest pool of women who fit the bill. You can also find a large pool of women with the same qualities in many of the cities of Eastern China - Hong Kong, Guangzhou, Shanghai, Beijing, Shenzhen, Xiamen, etc. Obviously I love Chinese women (since I am married to one) but you may not find the 'impeccable manners' as in Japanese women that has previously been spoken of. Not that Chinese women are rude or abrasive however they are generally straight-shooters who have no qualms about expressing their true feelings about anything.

[Bob_S]

from first page ...

Plan A - colombia antioquia    Why -...
2, I like the culture, enjoy my time there, and UNDERSTAND it.

That's reason enough to go there and focus solely on that target country.

[bcc_1_2]

I like this thread. It is very rare that you come across any negatives written about colombia and the phillipines. It is a refreshing bit of honesty. Plus the DR took a few bashings. Very nice.

Japan has been well spoken for. JM might be able to talk to you about Taipei City.

If latin women are what you are into I'd look into Monterrey MX or Mexico City. You'll find cosmopolitan chicas there.

It would be pretty easy to fly into Hong Kong and take a shuttle bus to Shenzhen (have you visa taken care of in advance).

For Europe you might look at Bulgaria (http://www.sesile.com/). I see some negatives in the personality of RW and the experiences some men have had. Yea they sure are beautiful... but when things go south... well they are cacluated and informed on just exactly how to screw you (I'm generalizing).

So my list based on geography would be...

Latin America
Mexico City/ Monterrey, MX

Europe
Sofia, Bulgaria (http://www.sesile.com/)

Asian
Shenzhen, China (or Japan as others advocate)

Moscow and Buenos Aires wouldn't be on my list.

[Dave H]

I think that if you like Hispanic culture, the Philippines offers a milder version of it. A blend of Spanish, with strong Asian influences, like putting others first and not making a scene in public, etc. Of course there are always exceptions, but that is the general attitude. I find it very refreshing not having knives pulled on me for little reason or being struck in the head by large objects flying through the air when I am trying to relax!  

I was never involved with many angels like UC's wife.

Dave

[Zon]

"So my list based on geography would be...

Latin America
Mexico City/ Monterrey, MX

Europe
Sofia, Bulgaria (http://www.sesile.com/)

Asian
Shenzhen, China (or Japan as others advocate)

Moscow and Buenos Aires wouldn't be on my list. "

In my view, it is damn near impossible, to fly bye - or meet a woman via online dating.  I imagine a better approach is to long term visit a specific area / culture ... and just let things unfold.  In this way, you meet real people, naturally.  But, it has not resulted in a long list of courtships, either.  I do not aggressively meet, or ask people to introduce me to specific ladies.  Plus, I have spent too much time since my divorce in non-strategic environments to find a "good girl".

I think online dating in Latin America is very time consuming and a waste of time.  Very few winners are online willing to dump tons of time speaking to a large body of wierdos.   There are some scams I suppose, but nothing like the Russian and Ukrainian dating sites!   How does Japan differ in this regard.

======

So far my Plan A feels the best.  Will be leaving in 4 weeks.   Isla Margarita off the coast of Venezela has also caught my attention.  It seems to be more independent from the great madness of Chavez.  Plus, Chaves can't last another 5 - 10 years - might be good business opportunities in the aftermath.

[Henry]

Europe
Sofia, Bulgaria (http://www.sesile.com/)

$79 for 2 months, their shortest allowed.

Yeah I got two message from women on there. They must be wondering why I havent responded.

[bcc_1_2]

In my view, it is damn near impossible, to fly bye - or meet a woman via online dating. 

You are preaching to the choir. I'm not a fan of "online dating" (AKA endless webcamming and talking with someone you've never met). But that's just me.

As for the Sesile agency I just used that to highlight what the ladies look like. I had no idea it had gotten so expensive. But eharmony is like 120 for 3 months or 60 for one month... so I guess thats just what online dating must cost now.

[Jeff S]

I think online dating in Latin America is very time consuming and a waste of time.  Very few winners are online willing to dump tons of time speaking to a large body of wierdos.   There are some scams I suppose, but nothing like the Russian and Ukrainian dating sites!   How does Japan differ in this regard.

You would have considerably more success meeting and getting to know potentials online in Japan than elsewhere. Japanese women tend to use logic and relationship building much more so than many other places whose women rely more on feelings and emotion.

[jm21-2]

JM might be able to talk to you about Taipei City.

Take a walk in Shilin Night market in the evening and you can see an endless stream of hotties, aside from getting some pretty amazing food. But most of the girls I saw didn't seem terribly westernized or high-socity-ish. My GF's former boss was that way I guess, but her husband worked while she spent her paycheck on purses and [snip]: not fun for the guy imho. I get the impression that's a pretty common situation in the upper crust households in Taiwan...leave me out of that.

Most Taiwanese seem very pragmatic and practical. Same for Chinese. I would place a wager that most would prefer a bbq with friends over ballroom dancing.

Hell, my girlfriend doesn't even want a wedding. She just wants to sign whatever papers are necessary and get on with the honeymoon.

[Capstone]

You would have considerably more success meeting and getting to know potentials online in Japan than elsewhere. Japanese women tend to use logic and relationship building much more so than many other places whose women rely more on feelings and emotion.

I agree with you Jeff - Japanese women seem very calculating (in a good way) when it comes to relationships. The same can be said about Chinese women - they are more interested in relying on examining the possible family dynamics than they are with emotion. Maintaining a fruitful online relationship is not a problem as long as you are actually willing to make a trip in the not so distant future.

[Capstone]

It would be pretty easy to fly into Hong Kong and take a shuttle bus to Shenzhen (have you visa taken care of in advance).

It is much easier & quicker to take either the Ferry, MTR or Train to Shenzhen from Hong Kong than it is to take a shuttle bus (don't have to deal with traffic or the border crossing/immigration checkpoint that can be a real bottleneck at times). You can also easily get a 6 month stay single entry visa to China at any CTS (China Travel Service) branch location in HK.

[Zon]

let's dig into the Japanese women issue a little deeper ...

I know that Japanese are social conformists, but they are more liberal in many ways too.  ( By the way, I CAN APPEAR to be a social conformist ... but my value system places creativity and individual assessment above community standards. I am ethical and moral.  But, I do not kneel at any particular alter - religious, political, or other.  Currently, I have the personality of a "gentleman pirate".) I am logical and cool mannered. I am NOT insecure.  Financially - A recent divorce destroyed much of my first 20 years.  I have rebuilt my future to be very virtual.  I am not a sugar daddy.  I still look good enough to be called handsome on some lucky occasions - don't know how much longer that is going to hold out.  I am in good physical shape for my age.  You can assess my personality and outlook by my recent posts.

The reason for this self description is to ask - What would normal expectations be for me?  What are "normal" age gaps, league gaps, ect...   And, what are the best places, online, to meet Japanese women?

Japan is rising quickly in my list.   I am happy I started this post.

[Jeff S]

In spite of what the playahs on the Latin board say - no women place high emphasis on a man's looks, at least none worth having. If you take care of yourself, dress decently, and present yourself well, it will get you in the door with 95% of the women on earth. Everything else is personality, character, confidence and other non-physical characteristics. Another silly concept that is the defacto standard around here, is that women are attracted to money. Only the shallowest of the shallow are. What women are really attracted to are the personalities of men who tend to be successful in life, and of course that usually means high earning potential. It's not the money, but the kind of man that tends to make money that's the real magnet. Intelligent, competent, confident, ambitious men tend to make more money than dull, lazy, weak men - and guess which women prefer? OK - no shock here.

By the way, I consider anyone reading this board to have many of those attractive-to-women  characteristics. The latter are more likely to be their obese American wive's javelin targets, instead of hopping on a plane to a foreign land and taking a chance. Obviously, you're smarter than the average bear, since you're here.

Japanese women don't seem to age nearly as fast as many others - at least those who take care of themselves. My daughter just turned 34 and gets carded more often than not, and my wife has several early 40s friends who wouldn't be out of place in a high school graduation photo. I'd encourage you to check out those Japanese friend finder sites and search say 40 to 50 year olds and see what you have to look forward to. I'm in decent shape myself, am athletic, and have a full head of hair, but most people think I'm a cradle robber, even though my wife is a couple years older than I.

You never said if you wanted kids, or were willing to consider a divorced or widowed women with kids. There shouldn't be any problem with a 10 or 15 year difference - Again, it's all based on your personality. If you're full of life and vital, young, vital, full of life women will be interested. From your posts, I'd say you'd have no troubles at all. If you're starting to slow down and aren't interested in making more kids, a bigger age gap doesn't really mean much.

If you scroll back I posted a couple links to Japanese friend finder sites that are worth a look over. The best way to meet women, any women, from any country, is by personal introduction. That's why I'd encourage you to make friends with people in the community - both female and male - here and there - in your business world, your personal or religious world, or your hobby world. If you find friends you have common ground with, and get to know - everyone has cousins, friends, sister-in-laws, and the like who are in the market. Show people you're a good and decent human being and they pretty much line-up to introduce you to the single women in their circles.

[z_k_g]

Good to see you coming around to Zulu's advice!  

Japan is rising quickly in my list.   I am happy I started this post.

I was the first to suggest a Japanese mate!!!  Post #3 :-)

Please mail my check, I got a dog to feed!!!  JK!

Good luck!

Zulu

[Dave H]

In spite of what the playahs on the Latin board say - no women place high emphasis on a man's looks, at least none worth having.

Hey Jeff,

I must have been misreading the Latin Board all of these years...I thought the number one thing that  Latinas considered was a man's ability to dance.

I don't see how Zon can go wrong in Japan! Sounds like a great match!

Dave
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=npBGlxowV4Y&feature=related

[Bob_S]

I don't see how Zon can go wrong in Japan!

Might find a girl who'll break his heart.     
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3fgn9klW8wE

Japanese women don't seem to age nearly as fast as many others - at least those who take care of themselves.

Heard that.  Even if they don't!  My MiL is in her early 80's, smokes, and survived getting nuked!  And is still in as good a condition as any American 10 to 15 years younger.

What would normal expectations be for me?  What are "normal" age gaps, league gaps, ect...

Normal age gap is anywhere from 10 years younger to 5 years older.  Don't worry about finding a woman who is a bit older than you; she'll still be mistaken for your daughter!  Expect someone closer to your league, only thinner.  But that's not a bad thing.  The one thing you have to get used to though, different standards of beauty such as yaeba.  Orthodontists are not common over there.

[Zon]

Braces are cheap. I understand about aging very well - excellent point.  There is a stronger human character at work in the oriental persona - all things being equal. 

I have to learn more about what the culture is all about (I think I have some contacts that have invited me to Japan last year ... I'll dust them off)

It is interesting that many of the reservations we have with Latinas are polarized with Japanese - honesty being the most important; and that implies respect issues too. 

I do like women that are petite and dark haired ...  If I wanted to visit Japan for a couple months in Winter / Spring of 2011: what is the winter weather like?  How do the general cost of living vary (more expensive than Colombia / more expensive than USA)?  Any specific geographic areas that would be better for me to study than another?  Any recommendations on expat boards / other resources that communicate what it is like for Americans to live in Japan?  Gracias:)

[z_k_g]

Braces are cheap. I understand about aging very well - excellent point.  There is a stronger human character at work in the oriental persona - all things being equal. 

Zon, I don't think you will have an issue with cosmo women in Toyko with dental issues!! 

This is a very very cosmo city and looks are everything!  The young women are chic and that stereotype of the "revolving door" gap toothed Asian smile is simply a crock.   The cosmo cities of Asia- Hong Kong, Taipei, Seoul, Bejing, Jakarta, Manila and Bangkok have "average" women that will put our most sophisticated New York and Bel Air babes to shame. 

In Asia, "looks are everything" including the teeth!

If you were scoping a Asian province girl, this may be of more concern. 

But the type of women you are seeking have probably had their teeth cleaned and worked on in a boutique LA dental office!

Zulu

[Jeff S]

If I wanted to visit Japan for a couple months in Winter / Spring of 2011: what is the winter weather like?  How do the general cost of living vary (more expensive than Colombia / more expensive than USA)?  Any specific geographic areas that would be better for me to study than another?  Any recommendations on expat boards / other resources that communicate what it is like for Americans to live in Japan?  Gracias:)

Winter in Hokkaido (the northernmost island) is like the Northeast US - cold, snow, and long-johns. In Tokyo it's something like Seattle. You usually need a coat but it's not uncomfortable and you get an occasional dusting of snow, more snow on the back side, the Japan Sea coast.  Kyushu, the southern Island gets little snow. The general cost of living is lower than the US after a decade of deflation, but Tokyo can be a fairly expensive city as compared to some other major cities. It's not difficult to find lunch for under $5 and one of the new Donburi chains (kind of like the Yoshinoya chain in the US) serves a rice bowl with meat for 250 yen (less than $3) You can stay at a typical ryokan for about $80 a night and that includes home cooked breakfast and dinner, if you're OK going native. If you gotta eat steaks and French fries - be prepared to spend a little more. If you want fine dining, expect to pay about the same as you would in the US.

One of the nice things about Japan is that even if you stay in a dive hotel, it will be very clean, just small and older. Here's a little rundown on the different types: http://www.japanhotel.net/data/accommodation_types.asp Personally, I like the ryokans, especially in the smaller cities and towns.

As for location, obviously the biggest pool is in Tokyo, but personally I like Kansai (Osaka, and Hyogo province - Akashi, Kobe and Himeji) and northern Kyushu (Kokura, Hakata and Fukuoka cities.) Every Japanese will tell you you have to go to Kyoto, because it's so beautiful and culturally significant there.  Don't bother unless it's to change trains to catch one across the country to the Japan sea coast and Kanazawa. Kyoto is expensive, stuck up, and just not worth the trip, IMO. In general though, you can't go wrong anywhere in Japan. I'd look for contacts first and and to wherever they are. It's not that big a country and a Japan Rail pass that will get you just about anywhere in the country is a fantastic deal and will pay for itself many times over. The whole country has only about the land area of California and the shinkansen trains travel 180 mph, so it's no big deal to zip around and see all kinds of places. Crime is practically non-existent and everyone friendly to the foreign traveler.

I never lived there - probably my longest trip was 6 or 7 weeks, and I always had business acquaintances or family to suggest places to go and things to do, so I can't offer much about plugging into the expat community. Bob S. lived there for a year, though so will be far more knowledgeable than I about that scene.

[Zon]

NICE:)

http://www.csmonitor.com/2004/1206/p01s04-woap.html

[Bob_S]

Braces are cheap.

Don't go trying to change 'em.  She thinks she looks cute with her snaggle-tooth incisors.
 

NICE:)
http://www.csmonitor.com/2004/1206/p01s04-woap.html

Well, there you go.   

Reading sources:
http://www.peterpayne.net/ is a blog by an American guy originally from San Diego who now runs an import/export business from Japan and is married to a Japanese woman.  He's lived there many years now and has a lot of interesting insight into the culture and country.

http://www.all-about-teaching-english-in-japan.com/index.html is a site for would-be English teachers with eyes set on teaching in Japan.  While you may not be interested in going to be a teacher, the site still has a lot of info on travel and culture.  Definitely read the etiquette page.

http://bigdaikon.com/ is a blog/forum for JETs (Japan English Teachers run by the Japanese government education department).  Some of the posters are married and long term residents of Japan who have some useful info about residing there and finding your way around, but a large portion are right out of college (where they recruit teachers) and still have a fratboy mentality and are happy to play the role of Charisma Man, drinking, whoring, and scoring with other teachers and lonely housewives.

And finally, some of the U.S. military bases have web sites where they post local news.  I sometimes check out the Iwakuni base news site at http://www.marines.mil/unit/mcasiwakuni/Pages/default.aspx which is near my wife's hometown.  Yokota Air Force Base at http://www.yokota.af.mil/news/index.asp in the Kanto area also had "outside the gate" info that was invaluable for expats living in the Tokyo area.

[Zon]

sharpening the point...

what's the difference between Japanese; and higher class Chinese; Thia; Filipino? 

There is less scams and compromised women from Japan.   I assume online would be best way to meet - lot's of work and time      What are good sites?

Just passed through a Rosetta Stone Japanese - looks pretty ugly!