European / Modern Sensibitilities

[Zon]

I have been active on this board under the LATIN section. I have also been a member of the sister board, RWD - Russian women.  I have "enjoyed" my three years of adjusting from a 13 year American marriage.  I have experienced MUCH, and know I am more whole, and know what I am seeking in women, and hopefully one special woman.  I am not a lonely heart, or wife hunting.  But there is no getting around the fact that we all take on the color of the lake in which we swim.

I HAVE NEVER CONSIDERED ASIAN WOMEN?  European / Modern Sensibilities is not easy to find this in Colombia.  It is easy to find in Russian.  That's the reason for the post.

I have had beautiful girl friends.  I have had nice girlfriends.  But, in order for me to seriously consider asking a woman to marry, there has to be other, perhaps more important characteristics too.   Let me call this "European / Modern Sensibilities".

( WARNING I DO NOT INTEND TO JUDGE OR INSULT ANYONE )

I lived in Colombia, for example, and no matter how beautiful a girl is, if she comes from a poor family with no education, her manners are very base.  Same in the DR. 

I still have "game" and do not require a HUGE age and league gap to be happy.  I wonder if I am missing something in Japan?   I imagine there is the top .05 in Philippines - these women are rich and educated just as if they are from New York (same is true in Lima, Peru).  But, I get the impression that MOST women from Philippines fall in my "off limits" category for serious consideration.

Thanks for you patients

[Jeff S]

If by that, you mean sophisticated, elegant, intelligent, worldly women who know how to treat a man...

Then YES.

[piglett]

I still have "game" and do not require a HUGE age and league gap to be happy.  I wonder if I am missing something in Japan?   I imagine there is the top .05 in Philippines - these women are rich and educated just as if they are from New York (same is true in Lima, Peru).  But, I get the impression that MOST women from Philippines fall in my "off limits" category for serious consideration.

Thanks for you patients

Well Zon i guess it all depends on what your looking for. are you looking for a woman that comes from a super rich family?
I myself would think that those ladies would tend to be high maintenance......but i could be wrong.
I have been to New York city quite a few times & i NEVER EVER found a lady there that i would ever consider to be wife material. I would say stuck up,pushy,& arrogant would be the words i would use to describe "MOST" of them from the get go. Many many ladies in the Philippines are well educated even though they come from a poor family's.  
I didn't see this as a bad thing actually i figured it as a plus. Once my wife gets here i bet she will really like the idea of hot water,A/C , paved roads....etc etc. I don't think my wife will take these things for granted.


but hey that's just my 2 cents worth.piglett

[z_k_g]

I have been active on this board under the LATIN section. I have also been a member of the sister board, RWD - Russian women.  I have "enjoyed" my three years of adjusting from a 13 year American marriage.  I have experienced MUCH, and know I am more whole, and know what I am seeking in women, and hopefully one special woman.  I am not a lonely heart, or wife hunting.  But there is no getting around the fact that we all take on the color of the lake in which we swim.

I HAVE NEVER CONSIDERED ASIAN WOMEN?  European / Modern Sensibilities is not easy to find this in Colombia.  It is easy to find in Russian.  That's the reason for the post.

I have had beautiful girl friends.  I have had nice girlfriends.  But, in order for me to seriously consider asking a woman to marry, there has to be other, perhaps more important characteristics too.   Let me call this "European / Modern Sensibilities".

( WARNING I DI NOT INTEND TO JUDGE OR INSULT ANYONE )

I lived in Colombia, for example, and no matter how beautiful a girl is, if she comes from a poor family with no education, her manners are very base.  Same in the DR. 

I still have "game" and do not require a HUGE age and league gap to be happy.  I wonder if I am missing something in Japan?   I imagine there is the top .05 in Philippines - these women are rich and educated just as if they are from New York (same is true in Lima, Peru).  But, I get the impression that MOST women from Philippines fall in my "off limits" category for serious consideration.

Thanks for you patients

Well I think you should more precisely define what those "European/Modern Sensibilities" consist. 

Also most of the women in the PI are relatively poor in relative to their counterparts in similar jobs in Europe, Latin America and the States.  If its financial status you are using as a measuring stick then that pretty much eliminates 99% of the women in the PI, so you would be correct, they would be in your "off limits" category.

If you are looking at the rich in the PI, I would venture that those women have no interest in you if you are not of equal or better status.  They just don't have any need for an affluent kano, they want a super rich kano.

I would say this, if you are looking for a beautiful woman, high morals, dedicated, sexy and a life long companion, the the Filipina is the best choice for a wife.  The skin tones and features range from Asian to Caucasian to Polynesian with mixes in between.  They are decently educated and very conservative, virginity is very common among the young women and closely guarded.  You will be marrying the entire family and the culture, so If you do not like consorting with poor but honest and proud people, the PI may not be for you. 

From reading your post, I get the impression you are looking for a sophisticated diva.  You may actually find that in Manila or Cebu. 

But I also think that you should look at Japan for your Asian beauty.  Although Japan does not have the variety and sexy flavor of tanned latinas or pinay the women there are affluent and very pretty and make excellent wives. 

Korea my also be an option, but the society there is less open to westerners, you may have issues just meeting the women.

Skip Thailand, its a playground.  The women look awesome, great place for a gf or some vacation fun, but not a place to find a wife.

I will say this.  In my opinion you are making a huge mistake as far as real happiness is concerned.  Your so called "rules" are a recipe for an unhappy life. 

There are "poor" women who carry themselves quite well.  They may not be sophisticated but they have high morals and ethics and possess values like fairness, honestly, compromise and understanding- key to a successful relationship.  You can teach a woman how to hold a fork, walk a certain way, appreciate fine art and dining, and even talk a certain way, but a woman must be raised with core values, they are ingrained.

In my opinion you will find these values in the average Pinay and they are always willing to learn! What better choice for a life mate!

Just one man's opinion.

Hope this helped you.

Good luck,

Zulu

[Jeff S]

What women are like in New York doesn't necessarily equate to what they're like in Tokyo or Shanghai. Most affluent people did not inherited it - they earned it themselves, so children of well off people weren't always well off. They knew what their parents had to go through, because they were there. They were often raised by mothers who didn't have servants, who cooked and cleaned so they know what marriage is all about. Say what you want but most of the well off people I know aren't evil, money grubbing hateful people stepping on those beneath them. They're fun loving, interesting and generous, despite the portrait Hollywood loves to paint and the leftist elite want you to think. I know very few well off Japanese girls who are Paris Hilton type divas.

If you're happy being a country boy, huntin and fishin, grillin burgers and picnics, and going to the tractor pulls, look for that kind of girl. If you like fine dining, the arts, and other trappings of city life, look for that kind of girl. Take a city girl off to the hills, and you might have an unhappy camper on your hands. You can probably go a bit farther the other way, taking a country girl into the city but you just don't know. I get what Zon is talking about. He's posted before of the simpletons he encounters in places like the Dominican Republic and how they're not for him. I was the same way.

It's not as easy fishing in the first world instead of the third, but it has its rewards.

[william3rd]

I wouldnt skip thailand but you have to know how to move up the food chain. Most rookies dont have a clue. . . .  and if you havent ever been there, then you really have no idea what's really going on.

Chasing bar gils is fun- sorta like going to AFA socials. The only question is price.

[z_k_g]

I wouldnt skip thailand but you have to know how to move up the food chain. Most rookies dont have a clue. . . .  and if you havent ever been there, then you really have no idea what's really going on.

Chasing bar gils is fun- sorta like going to AFA socials. The only question is price.

I have two very close cousins married/divorced to Thais, I have spent a lot of time with both families.  My best friend and another close cousin are still married to Pinays.  My good college buddy is married to a Chinese woman (Taiwan) and I dated her sister for over a year.

I have lifelong experience with both and know many many Asians having done business in Korea, Japan, Vietnam and SEA in general.

My last relationships was with an American woman.  I've dated many Asian women in the US before.

I am a "rookie" as far as looking seriously for a foreign bride outside of US though.

Like I said, that's just my opinion.

Zulu

[jm21-2]

China wouldn't be the first place I'd look for that kind of girl. Maybe in Beijing or Shanghai? One of the things that really hooked me on Chinese girls was that they lacked many aspects of western prudishness and were very laid back about things like manners.

I would think the more urban parts of Japan would be a good bet though. Maybe Singapore and probably Hong Kong too?

[z_k_g]

It's not as easy fishing in the first world instead of the third, but it has its rewards.

I think the key word is FISHING. 

Zulu

[z_k_g]

I wouldnt skip thailand but you have to know how to move up the food chain. Most rookies dont have a clue. . . .  and if you havent ever been there, then you really have no idea what's really going on.

Chasing bar gils is fun- sorta like going to AFA socials. The only question is price.

I think bar girls are addictive!!   

Zulu

[Zon]

I think Jeff understands where i am coming from.  I have found KNOCKOUTS in Colombia, but lacked the minimums to be considered seriously to me ... some where damaged goods with deeper psychological problems; many others where not entirely trustworthy.  I did find some women - from nicer families - that had better characters. ( Colombia and the DR can be cruel places.  Being poor can often create scars.  I am not judging poor people versus rich people.  I am just aware of the proportion of "damage goods" that come from poor environments.

I am getting ready to go back to Colombia for a couple months, and the more I learn and experience, the more I realize that to find a good wife prospect for me is hard there.  Japan does seem interesting to me.   I do not know ANYTHING about that place, but am open to consider.   The Philippines seems to good for some men, but I do not want to find a woman who is going to be grateful to me because I was her bridge to a first world life - paved roads and running water. That is the type of compromise that I absolutely avoid.

I am not looking for a diva, but it kills it for me if a woman farts or picks her nose on a first date - maybe I am too picky:)  I am able to date and have young, hot women desire me (sort of fun), but I prefer 28 - 32 professional ladies - less hot - and that mostly comes with a child.  That is cool by me as long as the women is capable.  Baggage is ok as long as each person manages their own.

 I need to find a women that is closer to my equal.  I am looking for a even playing field for the woman, and the traditional values that we associate with Russian and Latin women.  Add to that mutual physical compatibility and chemica - aint so easy.

So what's the deal on Japan?    Don't hear too much about it.    I do not speak Japanese.  The culture seems interesting. The woman are very beautiful and elegant.  What are the stereotypes of Americans - favorable / unfavorable.  Never tried online dating / social networking in Japan?  Worth a consideration.   

I do not have interest in the Philippines; nor Thailand.   I do not know enough about China - but that seem like a steep climb.

[jm21-2]

There are plenty of professional Asian women aged 28-32 without kids. I haven't looked up any statistics but I imagine that it's actually the norm for a 28-32yo woman (especially a professional one) not to have kids in most Asian countries.

I do not think mainland China would be the ideal place to look for a woman like you describe. HK is probably worth looking into though. More English speakers and more westernized with a much higher average salary.

[Henry]

Zon, if Russian women have these qualities, then why not a Russian woman? Sorry if I skimmed over your explanation above somewhere.

[z_k_g]

Hong Kong would be an ideal place for all sorts of women, its really an international city.

I've never been there but from what friends and business acquaintances tell me, I believe it has a high percentage of affluent Chinese and Koreans, but mostly male?  I think a lot of the females are workers from all over SEA and not necessarily from HK.

But I agree with jm21, there are tons of professional Asian women without children, so you've got plenty to choose from.

Japan is perhaps the most sophisticated society in Asia and close or even better than the USA in some respects.  I have many friends that live there and English is spoken extensively.  I dated a Japanese girl for 2 years and never had a problem communicating; she lived in Tokyo which is perhaps the most upscale city on the planet in some areas.

There are some real knockouts in Japan also so you can have your cake and eat it too; sophistication, quality and beauty. 

Can't beat that!

Well...except for the exotic pinays with the permanent TANS!!   

Zulu

[Zon]

Why Not Russia?

Let's start off with Plan A - Colombia.  Why -
1, 2.3 hour direct flight form first home; family & friends
2, I like the culture, enjoy my time there, and UNDERSTAND it.
3, There should be a big enough dating pool to find what I am seeking if I am honest; patient; and spend time.
4, Time Machine - I am 10 - 20 years younger in every way in Colombia
5, Big Fish / Small Pond - despite the safety concerns - there is a very positive stereotype that you inherit if you are a well mannered, descent looking, successful gringo in Colombia.
6, Advantageous cost of living on the US Dollar

Plan B - Argentina
1, Leverage significant investment in culture and language
2, favorable gene pool - European - Spanish and Italian.  Physically attractive to me.
3, less time machine.  less big fish / small pond - but still a BIG trade up.
4, Dollar goes far.

Plan C - Ukraine
1, Tons of beautiful women that fit my standards to a "T".
BUT,
2, VERY far and VERY alien - Hard to absorb the culture.  I would have to rely on others and fate
2, I loose my calm, cool exterior with Russian and Ukrainian women ( I am still working on it.)
3, I can be played by these women and not know it ... very tough to read.

Plan D - never really considered Japan.

[Jeff S]

Japan is very friendly to Americans. All the signs are bilingual and most Japanese can speak English. I take that back - most Japanese can read and write English - speaking and understanding are different issues altogether. In my first few trips when my Japanese was limited to a few formalities, I used to keep a small notebook and pen in my pocket to talk to people.

It used to be very expensive but these days, it's a lot more reasonable. They've been having deflation there for a decade. If you're planning a trip, I'd stay in ryokan - Japanese style inns, to get a real flavor of the culture and lifestyle. $60 to $100 a night is about average and that includes breakfast and dinner.

Japanese manners are impeccable, in general and it's not at all difficult meeting people. I'd start by making some friends.

http://japanesefriendfinder.net/public/home.jhtml

Lots of people are there not only for dating, but to practice English and just be friends. Some are looking for love too.

[Zon]

I have a good friend who married a professional women from Japan.  He says the same type of thing "Japanese manners are impeccable"  ... a style of living that brings meaning, order, and meaning to life.  As he was telling me his views, I could not help but think of the movie Samurai with Tom Cruise.

Very interesting, I could see that type of choice moving to Plan B quickly.  I will continue to investigate. 

Are there bedrock philosophical differences when you compare the western approach with the eastern?

[william3rd]

I think bar girls are addictive!!   

Zulu

Yes, they are. I was married to one. . . . .

[Henry]

Zon, I have never been to Argentina. There is a blog written by a guy named Rooshv or something like that. He is a "player." I havent read it personally, but . . He claims to be in Argentina and that the women there are even more fickle, flakey and teasing than American women.

Did you find this to be the case?

I still need to go to this guy's blog to read these things for myself. I have a huge suspicion he was only going to the Irish bars where the sleaze hang out.

[Zon]

Henry, there are many dynamics at work.

1, real desperation.  You see this with women in the DR for sure.  I have never been to the Philippines, but I get the impression it is the same thing.  What do I mean?  I mean that there is an economic imperative that is so great, and so ever-present that it trumps all other considerations. (So what, my new novio has a wart on his nose the size of a shot glass and is 80 years old, he has a wallet and I love him).

2, Then, there is a mixture like in Colombia. Disadvantaged, beautiful women, are a little desperate, but still have eyes and are beginning to game with the assets at their disposal to improve their life position.  Not beauty queens, but nice, educated, and well intentioned women, who are available - not looking - for a gringo.  These woman do not have a horrible life.  They are not willing, or even thinking of drastic compromises for a life change.  It is likely that these women will see an average middle aged American more favorably than an American women in a similar situation.  Then, there are beautiful women, educated, professionals, from privileged families.  They assume the worst in gringos - sex tourist; bad dancer - first.  These women can be turned if the man measures up.

3, Argentina is its own world.  The women do not have a cultural inferiority complex ( like Colombia ).  BA has a great wealth of art and style - it provides a psychological boost.  The men are 100% game forward.  The women are 100% game defense.  It does not mean, a yanki (not gringo ) can't win the game.  Deep water if you have trouble meeting women.  But many people claim that it is a paradise. 

If you have HIGH standards, this is not easy for anybody, in any country.

[Henry]

Deep water if you have trouble meeting women.

Hey, Zon. Thanks for responding. That quote you made probably should be obvious, but I just dont get it. What do you mean??

Yes, "game." I guess that means I should stay away. Not that I am afraid of game. Just that I dont want to have to continually play it for the rest of my life with my spouse. Oh well.

[Zon]

The game almost exclusively refers to building initial attraction.  This is the hard part.   Have you ever heard the axiom = attraction is not a choice.  There are specific approaches and behavior that can make most men very capable of building initial attraction.  GAME

 After that the truth sorts itself out as clearly and fast as psychologically possible by the two human beings.

If you have tons of game, you don't have a problem meeting and attracting women.  You still could be a total ass, and never get a second date:)

Argentina is a place for a person with much confidence and ability with women.  Then, the sky is the limit.

[Henry]

The game almost exclusively refers to building initial attraction.  This is the hard part.   Have you ever heard the axiom = attraction is not a choice.  There are specific approaches and behavior that can make most men very capable of building initial attraction.  GAME

 After that the truth sorts itself out as clearly and fast as psychologically possible by the two human beings.

If you have tons of game, you don't have a problem meeting and attracting women.  You still could be a total ass, and never get a second date:)

Argentina is a place for a person with much confidence and ability with women.  Then, the sky is the limit.

How is this different from dating in the USA though?

[braziliangirl]

I have a good friend who married a professional women from Japan.  He says the same type of thing "Japanese manners are impeccable"  ... a style of living that brings meaning, order, and meaning to life.  As he was telling me his views, I could not help but think of the movie Samurai with Tom Cruise.

Very interesting, I could see that type of choice moving to Plan B quickly.  I will continue to investigate. 

Zon,

Have you considered Japanese girls in Brazil? São Paulo has the largest Japanese community outside of Japan. And you could find the best of both worlds...

[Jeff S]

I'd heard that B/G. There's a churrascaria in my neighborhood owned by a Japanese-Brazilian family. I was kind of surprised at how much Japanese thinking and culture they've retained - moreso that sansei, and yonsei (3rd and 4th generation Japanese) here in the US.

There's an enormous difference between Eastern and Western thought, philosophy and culture. It's not something you can describe, but have to experience.