Best Age range for Marriage

[Henry]

For the women, what should be age range be for marrying them and why?

Some say women over 30 have their personalities set and are less prone to Americanization / becoming a feminist.

Some say that younger women are more honest and less duplicitous. So under 30 would be better.

Personally I was thinking somewhere between 23 and 27. A narrow age range but not set in stone. Five years inclusive.

[Jeff S]

All of these theoreticals are a silly game. Are they more honest in Ecuador or Peru? Is it better to find a younger one or older one? With or without kids? Rich or poor? City or country? It's nonsense. Figure out what YOU want and where YOU want to go - then look for wife material that meets that criteria. You'll find 18 year old country virgin scammers and sincere wonderful wives, 35 year old wealthy divorced moms from the city who are scammers and those that are sincere.

It's not that tough. If you're a younger, educated urban sophisticate, look for that in a woman. If you're an older simple country guy, look for that in a woman. Yo'll be happier and so will she. Trying to figure out exactly who to target because you think they'll be some slight statistical advantage is an exercise in futility IMO.

Me? I have a washing machine and dryer. I don't need a woman who knows how to pound clothes on a rock in the river - but I do need one who can appreciate Ikuko Kawai playing Concierto de Aranjuez as much as I do.

[robert angel]

Henry, Henry, Enery.....

Re:

>>For the women, what should be age range be for marrying them and why?<<

There's no simple answer for that. I lost my copy of 'The Dummies Guide for Choosing the Right Age for Marrying the Right Filipina', but as I've only drank a quart of scotch so far this evening, I seem to recall some sentient details nonetheless:

Some variable factors to consider are:

If she comes from a big family with many siblings, she'll probably be more mature than an only child is. If possible, I'd stay away from orphans and only child types. They probably haven't had much 'give and take' in resolving conflicts--in 'fighting and making up' or in sharing. They may have emotional 'issues'.

If that doesn't overly concern you, I can introduce you to my ex wife. She may have been an orphan, with the above described issues, but she's very pretty and she's also rich!

Given the above, if she's the eldest daughter with several younger siblings, chances are she'll be more mature, as she most likely was expected to be like a mother figure and to always set a good example for her younger siblings and neighbors.

No data on this, but the younger she is when she moves from, say a rural setting to some place like England, the USA or Australia, the more her core values--her overall personality, will be changed, and probably not for the better, by her new 'environment'.

You marry a 20 y/o from the province and move her to, say, NYC--- by the time she's 30 y/o, she'll have spent over a third of her life in the land of the spoiled, assuming that her first couple of years as a baby--toddler really didn't effect her personality. Tell me if that won't change her?

A foreign woman will honestly swear up and down that living in a place like the USA will not change the way she is and the way she thinks and the things she wants. DON'T believe it. Unless she'd deaf, dumb and mute, unless she's a robot, life in the USA WILL change her and again, the younger she is when she get here, the more impressionable she'll be and the more susceptible to being changed, and for the worse.

Aside from the above, every person --even people who are the same exact age--can vary greatly in terms of maturity and how suitable--in how ready they are for marriage. My wife isn't even 30 y/o quite yet, but she shows amazing maturity in some ways--even more so than me in certain aspects. She has patience and good instincts overall. I'm glad she doesn't play chess as she might beat me and then I'd have to divorce her. It's already a horrific strain on our marriage that when we go fishing, she usually catches more fish than me. A man can only take so much...

Last and not least--if she's a stunning beauty, chances are that she's been treated as being 'special' and has always been some what more 'popular' than less physically attractive women. The 'Princess -Prima Donna effect'. If you like a high maintainance dame--that's your gal, henry....She's never had the same challenges getting dates as some others and probably has gotten nice clothes and various gifts one way or another. Never mind 'losing face' Henry--can you kiss her cheeks?--all FOUR of them?
 
I have noticed that more often with the most stunning beauties than with the --shall we say 'homely' looking girls?, that the real knock out beauties are less likely to have as much education as the 'average' looking girls. Why should they bother with having to go to college for years or work a real job when there's guys left and right ready to 'take care' of her?

Even if she's just a 'little bit pretty' back home, chances are when she gets to your neighborhood, she's going to look like a stone smoking, foxxy exotic babe and after a while, she'll notice that she's being noticed. If she doesn't have her head screwed on right, other places may be getting screwed right and not by you either...

So henry, my advice is that you go find some ugly girl from the province, one who went off to the city and got a college degree that might translate into employabilty if that's needed later on, as well as a bit of 'sophistication' gained from some exposure as an adult to 'city life' compared to what you might otherwise see as much of in a girl just raised back in the province.

Get yourself someone who's at least 30 y/o and has a child to whom you'll be a good father to. If you can open your heart to that and treat her child like your own child--chances are that woman will be eternally grateful and make a  wonderful wife, one who's not too likely to screw your best friend, dump your ass as soon as she gets that green card and leave you paying her alimony in her wonderful new world!

OK henry--go ahead--will it be door number one, door number two, or door number three?

[Ray]

Without a doubt, the best age range is between 34-34.5. Forget about any outside those limits!

Why? Because, that's why!

Ray

[robert angel]

Man,

I wish I could be as concise as Ray!

[z_k_g]

Man,
I wish I could be as concise as Ray!

Correction, you mean

"I wish I could be as "right" as Ray! 

P-L Post Scales Text Length

Ray-----------Everyone Else----------Robert

Just the facts ma'am!

Zulu

[Gato4Astrid]

The best woman in the world was born in 16th December 1979 

[robert angel]

'Right' is a 'relative' term.

You can ask Ray, but if you don't understand, you probably wouldn't understand...

[Henry]

Yes I know prettier women arent inclined to working hard. I dont know if it necessarily follows that she'd cheat. I could see the woman being lured away by a richer man though.

I dont think prettier women necessarily hit on get more than women who are just slightly above average. Logically it does make sense though. They probably do get much more attention. Doesnt necessarily mean those men are willing to connect.


Robert, I've got to hand it to you, you were able to articulate very well the things I have been very concerned about. Thanks.

[Gato4Astrid]

Henry

Think about it.  If you are 60 years old very wealthy man, looking for 18 years old girl.  What does she see in you?  

On the other hand, if you are 40 years old not-so wealthy man, looking for 30 years old woman with 1 or 2 children.  What does she see in you?

These 2 will be big difference!

Look at Anna Nicole Smith, what did she saw that old man - almost 100 years old?  His money, and also waiting for him to die so she could get his money!  Too bad she killed herself (as I originally predicted - cruel but ...).  


Just remember you did not want a 40 years old woman when you were 20 years old man, so why should it be difference to 20 years old woman and 40 years old man ....

When it comes to big age difference issue, it needs to be sorted out especially because of 'children' thing.   For example, if you feel too old to have another children, then you shouldn't be looking for a young woman who want to have children ....

[Henry]

I am 32 years old. Yes I am looking for an extremely beautiful woman, but that may just be a pipe dream from my ego, hey.

I have a big heart, but taking on another man's children is not for me. I have an adopted brother and felt how it is when the child doesnt bond with you. That is something I wouldnt want to go through again, especially if that person isnt someone of my own making.

[jm21-2]

I would argue that it's not the pretty girls you need to worry about cheating, it's the flirtatious girls. a flirtatious girl with fairly plain looks can get dates much easier than a beautiful shy girl. Also a question of natural beauty versus makeup/clothing/boob jobs/other artificial enhancers. Do you really want a girl who's putting out a ton of effort to look more attractive to guys? I'd much rather have a girl who was pretty and didn't really know it.

One should consider whether you want to have children or not on the age range. It becomes more difficult after she's 30 and especially after she's 35.

[Gato4Astrid]

I have a big heart, but taking on another man's children is not for me.

If you really love a woman, you might think differently about taking on other man's children.

[Gato4Astrid]

I would argue that it's not the pretty girls you need to worry about cheating, it's the flirtatious girls. a flirtatious girl with fairly plain looks can get dates much easier than a beautiful shy girl. Also a question of natural beauty versus makeup/clothing/boob jobs/other artificial enhancers. Do you really want a girl who's putting out a ton of effort to look more attractive to guys? I'd much rather have a girl who was pretty and didn't really know it.

Remind me of my ex-girlfriend (the one whom I was engaged to)  She kept on telling me not to look at other women, not to talk to them, not to write to them, which I never did.  It turned out that she was flirting with other men in front of me! 

[z_k_g]

I am 32 years old. Yes I am looking for an extremely beautiful woman, but that may just be a pipe dream from my ego, hey.

I have a big heart, but taking on another man's children is not for me. I have an adopted brother and felt how it is when the child doesnt bond with you. That is something I wouldnt want to go through again, especially if that person isnt someone of my own making.

I really think the right age depends on both parties.  

I probably gonna catch some flak from Gato on this one, but if a guy is 60 and the woman is 20, whats the matter with him leaving her all of his dough?  I would agree that its obvious what the intent of the woman is, to get paid, but hey he's gotta leave it to someone.  But, I think this is an extreme example.

In the case of the 40 yo guy and the 20 year old, that's quite a bit different.  I think that age spread is typical in the foreign bride environment.  Asian women typically will marry a man much older, they don't see the 20 year difference the same we Americans see it.  

I would not marry a 20 year old American woman.  That would be a big mistake!

But a 20 yo pinay? Well depending on where she lives, her maturity level might be significantly advanced.   Granted she does not have the personal experience or wisdom granted by years, but she my be responsible and sincere and ready to start her own family in 4 or 5 years.

In your specific case Henry, a young pinay of 25 may see you as too young at 32 because you may not be perceived as SERIOUS at your age.  She may prefer a  man in his 40's.  Remember, women choose you, and not the other way around.  That's not saying with a lot of time and discussion you cannot change her mind and convince her you are not just out for "fun."

I agree about taking on another man's children.  I did that, almost destroyed my life!  Its not something I would ever do again! NEVER!

And Henry, take it from me, do not base your decision on looks alone, try to get the whole package, but start with how she treats you!  Looks fade you will be left with the person on the inside.  Trust me on this one.

Back to the age question issue, there is no easy answer to this much debated topic.

But at the end of the day, I think it boils down to this- Age is just a number.

You will find a woman that is right for you.....or you won't.

Zulu

[robert angel]

Hey Henry,

Re:

>>Robert, I've got to hand it to you, you were able to articulate very well the things I have been very concerned about. Thanks.<<

Glad I was able to help and I hope my 'information' is good in the long run. I don't want to be hypocritical here, so I'll 'fess up' now. I originally set 'parameters' or 'guidelines' for the wife I was looking for and they included her being someone about mid 30's age wise, but even older possibly, (there are some fine looking women in their 40's and even 50's over there and they are often pretty stable as well) and I was open to someone with one son--as I have two sons already and thought that would help us 'bond' and increase our long term survival chances marriage wise. Beauty wasn't a huge issue, but I wouldn't have flown off with Broomhilda, either.

That said, I ended up with a woman who's gorgeous, quite a bit younger and who has no children of her own. I knew her for years and while she really liked me--I kept saying 'too young--too pretty' but obviously I got over her having those 'faults' hehe.

That's why I tell guys here to set forth goals, ideals and parameters, but don't be too rigid. Ya never know what's going to be the best fit for you. Just don't get blinded by how pretty she is to the point where you say 'oh those few faults she has are something I can live with' Believe me, those faults will probably get worse and grate on you more and more, all the while as her 'beauty' as  surely as the sands of time, begins to fade away

OK, Henry--glad I was helpful--this place is sometimes too tense and serious-thanks goodness for the likes of Dave H, he's hilarious, extremely knowledgeable AND helpful. So I was helpful---but what's really important is--Did I make you laugh?

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So from my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you

A pretty woman makes her husband look small
And very often causes his downfall
As soon as he marries her then she starts
To do the things that will break his heart

But if you make an ugly woman your wife
you'll be happy for the rest of your life
An ugly woman cooks meals on time
And she'll always give you peace of mind

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So from my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you

Don't let your friends say you have no taste
Go ahead and marry anyway
Though her face is ugly, her eyes don't match
Take it from me, she's a better catch

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So from my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you

Spoken:
Say man!
Hey baby!
I saw your wife the other day!
Yeah?
Yeah, an' she's ug-leeee!
Yeah, she's ugly, but she sure can cook, baby!
Yeah, alright!

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So from my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you.

Enry--go get yourself a not too young, ugly girl who has six kids and live happily ever after!

[Jeff S]

Just remember you did not want a 40 years old woman when you were 20 years old man, so why should it be difference to 20 years old woman and 40 years old man ....

Gee I don't know. Could it be that men and women think DIFFERENTLY? I know it's a tough concept.

When I was 24, all I wanted to do is travel and sow my wild oats with all kinds of exotic women. Does that mean that all 24 year old women are looking to travel and sleep with lots of exotic men?

When I was 40 I wanted to buy a big enough boat to head out of sight of land for a few days to a week by muself. How come no 40 year old women want to do that?

[z_k_g]

I don't want to be hypocritical here, so I'll 'fess up' now. I originally set 'parameters' or 'guidelines' for the wife I was looking for and they included her being someone about mid 30's age wise, but even older possibly, .............. Beauty wasn't a huge issue, but I wouldn't have flown off with Broomhilda, either.

In my case I had set rigid parameters also.  

At 42 I was looking in the 25 to 30 range for a pinay.  Similar to Robert, I ended up with a much younger woman, and a virgin to boot!  I pretty much dismissed her because her picture was below average, but her profile was so well written and seemingly sincere I continued to chat with her while I continued my quest for a pinay that was in my age range.

Well, long story short, and after over 2 months of discussions, she ended up being the most mature of the bunch, easily beating out my previous number 1 that was 29 years old.

I actually placed the chats side by side and compared the two women.  The sophistication, content and level of maturity difference was obvious.  The 20 yo had the 29 yo beat by a country mile!  

The other issue was looks.  The 20 yo pic was way below average, I mean bad.  The 29 yo's pic was nice, plus she sent me more, she was HOT.

I had a dilemma.

Well finally the 20 yo sent me a pic!  That sealed the deal!  She was, as far as I was concerned, a total package!  Only one problem now, I NEVER wanted to find or date a virgin!  I've been to kindergarten before, it was fun, but I have no desired to relive the experience!  I really had to have a long talk with my Mom about this one!  (Don't laugh)  

I'm not into teaching anyone.  I know most guys would kill for this type of setup, not me!  I like an experienced woman who knows her body.  I know this may sound crass, but I like to know what I'm getting in a wife.

But, in the end, I weighed my situation and figured, hey, a virgin, that's not so bad, it could be worse, right?

My sweetie is attractive, intelligent, mature and overall a great person.  I think I got lucky finding such a well rounded person, but based on the other P-L members, the PI is filled with such women!  

Now don't get me wrong, she is still 20!  She likes the mall, hanging with her friends, movies and other 20-something activities.  But she is not materialistic, she wants a family and she loves me!

I think that's pretty much all a man needs.

Zulu

[Henry]

I figure if she's a virgin there are at least good chances she's not a wh*re. That's not to say that being experienced is equal to being loose. Non-virgins can be just as eligible.

Looks arent everything certainly. When I was in Europe I was surrounded by lots of good looking babes. Most of them werent marriage material though, simply cause they wanted to sow their own oats rather than concentrate on starting a family.

[robert angel]

JM,

Re:

>>? I'd much rather have a girl who was pretty and didn't really know it.<<

Shhhhh! My wife occasionally reads over my shoulder here! Let's not 'let the cat out of the bag!!'

We'll sometimes see, usually at the mall, a real sexy woman--usually with jeans that appear to have been sprayed on,  wearing a blouse that barely covers her boobs, fire engine red wet looking lipstick, wearing six inch high, 'come f___ me pumps',  hair all done up and enough make up and mascara for an Alice Cooper concert.

My wife will discreetly look at her and as is her way of signaling for me to look, or to get me to 'notice' something, (as if I didn't) she'll squeeze my hand. Then later on, she'll sometimes say to me--"She was a real 'hottie'--wasn't she honey?" I know better than to say 'Oooh la, la baby--was she ever!--mmm, mmm, mmm".

She'll sometimes tell me in a wistful way "Honey--I WISH I could be a 'hottie' too--but I'm just not that pretty, I never attracted guys back home  (probably because she was always studying) and they don't even notice me here!"

Boo hoo...The fact IS the guys here most definitely DO notice her, but she averts her eyes and unless the guy's a real blatant perve, she doesn't notice. If there is a perve following us (it happens) that somehow I didn't notice, she'll mention it to me, but otherwise, she tunes them out. Usually when the same guy has passed us five times at the Wal-Mart and his shopping cart is empty, I know he's looking for more than a sack of rice...I notice and stare the hungry wolves right back and they back down just as fast.....

I am very proud that she dresses attractively--very stylish in a tasteful way but never in an overly 'suggestive way'.

She refuses to wear any thing that even reveals a little of her bare, sexy thin waist on days where we're dressing 'casual'. When I finally got her to wear a bikini--it had to be one that had some ruffles and ornamentation that provides some modesty and distraction from her obvious assets. If that's not bad enough--she wants us to go to the pool after sunset, when there probably aren't any kids from her school who could see her and no harmful UV rays!

Hey, at least she wears sexy as hell Victoria's Secret and other killer lingerie around the house and can be quite 'frisky' when we're alone together behind locked doors and drawn blinds--She's an Angel in public though!!

[robert angel]

My wife and I pretty much like all kinds of music, but she likes romantic country music a lot and even is open enough to tell me when she thinks some guy country music star is a 'hunk', but that's just between her and I.

Anyways, when I'm not listening to Death cab for Cutie, Anthrax, vintage Black Flag or other similar  mellow music, (ha ha)  we both like some of Kenny Chesney's stuff. This song pretty much sums up what I described in the above, previous post:

We go out to a party somewhere
The moment we walk in the door
People stop and everybody stares
She don't know what they're staring for

She don't know she's beautiful
(never crossed her mind)
She don't know she's beautiful
(no shes not that kind)
She dont know shes beautiful
Though time and time i've told her so

There she goes just walking down the street
And someone lets a whistle out
A girl like her she just can't see
What the fuss is all about

And she don't know she's beautiful
(never crossed her mind)
She don't know she's beautiful
(no shes not that kind)
She dont know shes beautiful
Though time and time i've told her so

Mornin' comes and her hairs all a mess
That's when she thinks she looks her worst
It's times like this she dont know why
I can't take my eyes off her

And she don't know she's beautiful
(never crossed her mind)
She don't know she's beautiful
(no shes not that kind)
She dont know shes beautiful
Though time and time i've told her so...

[jm21-2]

Yes, I was thinking of that song when I posted. That's the best kind imho. When I see girls putting out a huge effort to make themselves look hot I just think "ah, they've spent a lot of time learning to attract guys' stares and manipulate them...great." Besides, my girlfriend doesn't wear makeup yet somehow manages to take forever to get ready to go out...I don't think I could take always having to wait 30-60 minute while she preened herself. It would drive me bonkers.

My GF dresses extremely modestly (yea, the bikini that shows next to nothing and has a skirt on the bottom..no short anything or tight-fitting clothes) but is very affectionate in public. Pretty good combination for me. I never thought I would be into PDAs but they're pretty damn nice...we got quite a few hoots, hollers, and thumbs up from Taiwanese guys.

[Henry]

Where do we draw the line though with how a woman dresses?

When I was in Europe, all the attractive women would wear thoe butt-hugging jeans. Nice sight to see, but still it makes you wonder what's for sale.

When I was in Ecuador, same thing. Women wearing butt-hugging jeans. Not as many percentage wise as Germania, but still very noticeable.

I was never into makeup queens anyway. To me it makes the woman look artificial and old. It also may indicate low self esteem. (Keep in mind I am not a psychologist.) I just say that cause I have known AWs who have told me they would never leave the house without make up on.

[robert angel]

Haha, Jm,

Re:

>>Besides, my girlfriend doesn't wear makeup yet somehow manages to take forever to get ready to go out...I don't think I could take always having to wait 30-60 minute while she preened herself. It would drive me bonkers<<

Get used to it man.... My wife must get dressed 4 or 5 times each day before going to work, asking me each time ''does this look OK?" --"is this too sexy--too tight?" I almost always say each time "That looks fine, Honey" but she finds something that isn't quite right enough and goes back and we do it all over again. Drives me about nuts sometimes, but hey, in a word, she never leaves the house without looking 'classy' but not pretentious or remotely trashy. She has gold, rubies, diamonds, saphires, etc-- rings, pendants and necklaces, but I have to ask her to wear them--she says: "I don't want to look like I'm trying to impress anyone, Honey".  It's just her skinny little wedding band--not even her engagement ring, 99% of the time.

She's moved up a wee bit from just wearing a little baby powder on her face and a thin layer of clear lip gloss, but her make up, if she wears any, is minimal and takes her 2 minutes, tops. I use her lip gloss too--it's a moisturizer and not colored. Her size 5.5 shoes don't fit me though and forget about her double zero size Aeropostle jeans...

At least she keeps a close eye on me too and my dress. She gets on me if I wear the following: any denim shirt, a plaid shirt, (prefers Gap and Banana Republic T shirts or Polos) casual leather loafers (prefers Sketcher's loafers for me) linen pants or shorts or shorts that are too short (she doesn't like ones that are too long either') She thinks all those clothes make me look much 'older'.

She doesn't like how I sometimes revert into a 'surfer dude' fashion mentality or in the winter, into a Ralph Lauren (denim) gentleman's farmer look. (For guys who in real life, don't know how to use a shovel but want to look 'rugged') I think she has called LL Bean and Cabelas and told them to stop sending me catalogs.

She really likes her perfume (mostly R.L. 'Blue' and D&G 'Light Blue') but uses it modestly (hell she smells and tastes wonderful w/o any additives already) and while she's a careful spender, she goes over board buying me Lacoste, R.L Polo, Bulgari, Gap, B.R. and about ten other brands of colognes--I practically have a dresser drawer full of the expensive 'el stinko' brand name stuff she likes me to wear. I encourage my sons to help themselves.

I used to always wear Eau De La WD-40, but I guess those days are gone -- she's done gone and thrown a wrench into my 'style'.....

It's all but impossible anymore for me to get out of the house with shaving cream still on my ears or face and they haven't been able to get a laugh out of me for coming into work with a q tip swab still sticking out of my ear like some antennae in quite a while. 

[Jeff S]

A little dab of Hoppe's No 9 behind the ears, and you'll be good to go.