OKAY... WHAT THE $%($

[Celtic_Jorge]

To make a long story short, I broke the bad news to my Thai friend today, and according to her and her grandmother, she drove her scooter into a car, and is now in the hospital with a broken leg, and a broken arm.

........

Now the long story:

Alright.

So today I told her that I simply CANNOT support her AND her family before she can get a job here in the USA.  I told her I am fine with her coming over here if her family can maintain themselves.  But I simply do not make enough money to send her family an allowance to live off of every month until she can get a green card and she is able to find a job.

It did not go over well.  She said that she thinks I think that she only wants a farang boyfriend for the money, etc.  I told her this is simply not the case, and in fact I do not mind helping her out or her family, but 75% of my pay already goes to living expenses for myself, so its not like I have a lot left over to support her family.

Please bear in mind that SHE is the only one in her family who works.   So when her family loses her, and she moves to the USA, they have effectively lost their breadwinner, until she gets a job here, and starts sending money over.

So she goes on to say that she thought I loved her, and I reaffirmed that I did.  She said that I broke her heart, and I lied to her, since earlier I said I would be able to support her family.  And I reminded her that I really wasn't sure how much my living expenses would be in D.C., and they ended up costing me a lot more than I expected.  I was expecting $900 per month, and found out that a decent one bedroom in this city is around $1500... My cheque after deductions is $2300..

So yeh.  She totally flips out.  Suddenly I start getting phone calls, about every 30 seconds, and tonnes of SMS messages from her, about how her heart is broken, and she wants to die, etc.  I was starting to get worried.  I told her that I really loved her and I hope that someday, maybe, things really do work out with us.

About 45 minutes later, I call her, out of worry.  Her grandmum answers, or at least who I think is her grandmum.  She tells me that the girl is in the hospital, in the ICU.  I tell her to tell her to call me.  Then I get a SMS from her, saying she is in the hospital with her, and they don't need my money to survive, and the mum is well enough (she had heart problems) to start working again, and she can come live with me, without me sending money every month to her family, and she wants me to call her granddaughter and tell her that I am still coming to visit her in September, and still interested in marrying her, because she doesn't want her to die.

So I actually did call her, and quite honestly, she sounded [snip]ed up.  She sounded like she was on some kind of morphine or something.  So I think, maybe she really did get into this accident.  I am a skeptic, as you all have taught me to be... But still... this is really grinding on my heart.

So what the feck am I supposed to do?!?!?!??!!  Just to get some confirmation, I sent an SMS asking for her hospital name, so I can call her through her bed-side phone...  Thattaway, I figure, she will like it better since I won't be costing her too much money for her mobile minutes (which she says are very expensive for her).

This is really stressing and heart wrenching for me.  My mum is telling me that these people are trying to con me into actually going over there and hopefully supporting her family still somehow when she comes to the USA, and my heart is telling me that she really is a typical over-emotional 20 year old girl, and did the stupid thing and wrapped herself around someone's car...  Ugh.  It's terrible.  

[piglett]

CJ what you need is some input from a guy who married a Thai chick already
William where you at ??
i don't know squat about how the people in Thailand operate so i can't really comment on that. I will ask you 1 question though. have you ever caught this girl in a lie?
if you answer yes then i would give you this advice RUN!!!!
i feel that there has to be a great deal of trust involved in a long distance relationship.
once a girl starts to lie to me well it's "bye bye baby

if you were my little brother & we were sitting down having a couple of beers this is the advice i would give you.

good luck
piglett

[Celtic_Jorge]

No, I have never caught her in a lie before.
If any of this is falsehood, it would be the first time.
Anyhow...  My agenda with her, if you will, was "lets be romantic friends for awhile, and maybe when I get my raise in two years, or your mum can start working again, maybe we can work something out"...  And i wasn't going to go there this September, since there was no way I could support her and her family until she was able to get her visa.  Today I let her in on this bad news...

Then this happened.  $%#in hell.

[piglett]

Why do you have to support her while she is still there?
I can understand having to send money to her family it you bring their only bread winner to the states.
Also how many trips have you made there already.
I never talked about money until quite a few months onto the relationship if i recall correctly. I think it was Ray who said by doing so you mite screw up the entire relationship. Or i could have been some other well seasoned member i don't recall for sure at this point.


good luck
piglett 

[Celtic_Jorge]

I'm just talking about while she is here in the USA.
I haven't made any trips there yet but we have been talking nonstop for some months now.
I was supposed to come over in September, and possibly get engaged after we spend some time together in person....  But the whole issue of sending money to her family before she can get her job in the USA just threw all of those plans into doubt.. I simply don't make enough money to do that.

This situation, however, with the accident... is just totally [snip]ed now.  I have no idea what to do.   

[william3rd]

I'm just talking about while she is here in the USA.
I haven't made any trips there yet but we have been talking nonstop for some months now.
I was supposed to come over in September, and possibly get engaged after we spend some time together in person....  But the whole issue of sending money to her family before she can get her job in the USA just threw all of those plans into doubt.. I simply don't make enough money to do that.

This situation, however, with the accident... is just totally [snip]ed now.  I have no idea what to do.   

Tooo strange. DO NOT send her any money. Go over there in September. Have you been webcamming with her? Try that. May not be a bedside telephone in Thai styyle hospitals. Farang get two room suites; thai get semiprivates.  Everybody has cellphones.

So she gets in a fight with you, hops on her motorbike, crashes it and ends up in intensive care?  See if you can get her on a webcam!!!!

I dont really believe her. This total family involvement is not right. She would be concealing the overseas connection until after you met in person-unless you are webcamming through her home computer..

[piglett]

I'm just talking about while she is here in the USA.
I haven't made any trips there yet but we have been talking nonstop for some months now.
I was supposed to come over in September, and possibly get engaged after we spend some time together in person....  But the whole issue of sending money to her family before she can get her job in the USA just threw all of those plans into doubt.. I simply don't make enough money to do that.

This situation, however, with the accident... is just totally [snip]ed now.  I have no idea what to do.   

Dude how much cash are they expecting you to send once your girl is over here?

[Celtic_Jorge]

I have been sending her grandmum SMS messages asking for the name of the hospital that she is in, and I have been asking the girl the same question, and I haven't gotten anything back about it yet... They could be still asleep, as they were awake until 05:00 at least with this whole affair.

Well, the rent for their apartment is 12,000 Thai Baht per month, then there is the issue of food and so on, plus there is an infant in the family.. Babies are expensive.  They never really set a firm amount.

Will, I am going to try to get her on the cam ASAP.. But with her injuries, if they do in fact exist, it may make it very difficult for her to get on a cam (and a very excuse not to be able to get on a cam if they DON'T exist).

[Celtic_Jorge]

I dont really believe her. This total family involvement is not right. She would be concealing the overseas connection until after you met in person-unless you are webcamming through her home computer..

Also, we were actually.  And i was talking to her mum and grandmum quite regularly over the cam.  Well, what little talking we could do, with their limited English.

[piglett]

Well, the rent for their apartment is 12,000 Thai Baht per month, then there is the issue of food and so on, plus there is an infant in the family.. Babies are expensive.  They never really set a firm amount.  

so what would have happened if you had never showed up in the picture? who would have paid the rent ?
who paid the rent before you started paying it? Man i hate to say it but...... I smell a rat!!







piglett

[Celtic_Jorge]

Piglett,

She pays the rent.  She gives her family something like 20,000 Baht a month (she works two jobs).

[piglett]

Ok so why are you paying the rent for people that you have never met ?

hey we have never met either can you please send me some of your extra cash too
 
after all it's the same thing rite? hell if you like i'll talk nice to you & tell you that your a great guy too  

mite be time to take a step 3 steps back & look at this whole situation

  
piglett

[Celtic_Jorge]

Ok so why are you paying the rent for people that you have never met ?

hey we have never met either can you please send me some of your extra cash too
 
after all it's the same thing rite? hell if you like i'll talk nice to you & tell you that your a great guy too 

mite be time to take a step 3 steps back & look at this whole situation

 
piglett

Reread what I wrote mate, I said I would send money AFTER she comes to the USA, during the period in which she can't work until we're married and she gets her social security card.

I've  only sent her $200 USD so far for mobile charges and what have you.

[piglett]

Reread what I wrote mate, I said I would send money AFTER she comes to the USA, during the period in which she can't work until we're married and she gets her social security card.

I've  only sent her $200 USD so far for mobile charges and what have you.

i sent $30 to my girl to go to a professional photographer & that was after i had chatted with her for a year. I never had a good quality picture of her & you know how some web cams can be (dam poor quality) Oh i forgot, i had her buy me a fan for her apartment for $32 a couple of months before i arrived there. after many months of chatting i would break down from time to time & spend $2.76 for a phone load through aryty.com for her phone so she could text me.

the bottom line is this, when it's all said & done this is your deal not mine or any other members. so if "YOU" are fine with sending her money .....well go for it dude it's yours rite? i didn't earn it, neither did William or Dave

best of luck
piglett   

[Celtic_Jorge]

I'm not sending her any money for this recent health crisis.  I simply cannot afford to myself.

Just to clarify that.

[Celtic_Jorge]

Alright I just got a SMS from her grand mum..

Didnt say which hospital she is in, but says that maybe she can get released this afternoon... So the accident happened 4 this morning , and she may get out this afternoon???  Seems an awful short stay, for a broken arm, and broken leg.  Unless maybe the english is so bad that they mean just scuffed up legs and arms..

Goddamnit, I don't know what to think anymore... Sounds impossible.   

[piglett]

Reread what I wrote mate, I said I would send money AFTER she comes to the USA, during the period in which she can't work until we're married and she gets her social security card.

Ok i misread what you said.
does your girl live in the city or country?
how many people live in the house there?
who has the baby?
i can see that your budget is tight but maybe things improve for you by the time your girl arrives. maybe you find a cheeper rent
you could always get a 2 bedroom & split the rent with a friend/co-worker
i hate roommates but sometimes you got to do what you got to do.


piglett 

[z_k_g]

Goddamnit, I don't know what to think anymore... Sounds impossible.  

Jorge, you are being scammed bro!  RUN from this scammer!  She is running a text book mojo on you!

Here are some links to read while you are waiting on reports from the hospital!! ,<---Seriously?

http://www.stickmanbangkok.com/ReadersSubmissions2009/reader5125.htm

http://www.stickmanbangkok.com/Reader/reader2172.htm

http://www.stickmanbangkok.com/Reader/reader1803.htm

http://www.stickmanweekly.com/ReadersSubmissions2010/reader5905.htm

those letters should keep you busy for a while!

When you finish reading and LEARNING then erase her from your memory!

NOW your are ready to deal with Thai women on your terms!

Zulu

[Ray]

Hey Jorge,

Are you a blind? You’re being scammed by a gold digger.

Don’t be a chump! This is her last chance to get some money out of a sucker before you move on. Dump her sorry scamming ass now and never look back!

You deserve better than this stupid BS!

Ray

[Dave H]

My mum is telling me that these people are trying to con me

What...you believe these people whom you have never met over your own mum!

This is typical SCAMMER BULLSHE-IT!!!

Dave

[Dave H]

Some Thai cartoons to cheer you up!

[Dave H]

[Gato4Astrid]

Celtic Jorge

One thing you must remember that this Rangers family SURVIVED before you came along!

You are a good man, and you deserve a better woman which I am sure you will find. 

[Gato4Astrid]

Well, the rent for their apartment is 12,000 Thai Baht per month,

In today'e exchange rate, 12,000 Baht is: 
£245 GBP  /  $370 USD /  $700,000 COP

I live in one-bedroomed flat in Portsmouth, England and it costs me only £260!!

I do not know about living standard in Thailand, but 12,000 BAHT is about monthly wages in the big cities in Colombia!!

I am sure William knows more about standard of living in Thailand.

[Dave H]