Gifts and disobeying explicit instructions :)

[Bill_McC]

She said "no you can not send me anything to help pay for my internet time". I don't care, she works very hard for very little and goes out of her way EVERY DAY to talk to me. She walks 10 blocks to and from the internet cafe, she gets up early to talk to me because of the 12 hour time difference, she endures loud noisy smelly teenagers playing video games, and she has very little. It makes me ache to think that she spends what little she has to talk to me and she does it every day. I'm sending her a DVD as a surprise; would it be really bad form to slip in $20.00 saying its for internet time? To me $20.00 is nothing, I waste more than that in a week on lunches, to her it would be almost a months internet time.

Bill

[Woody]

FYI, you may want to rip and burn a copy of that DVD and send that along with it, just in case.

You see, there is this thing called region coding, a region 1 DVD (US) wont work in a normal region 3 (Philippines) player. Unless it is common for all the DVD players in the Philippines to be region unlocked, she probably wont be able to watch it.

Someone that has been there can probably tell you if they all have region free players or not. Computer DVD drives will be the same, so that's not going to help you.

[Bill_McC]

FYI, you may want to rip and burn a copy of that DVD and send that along with it, just in case.

You see, there is this thing called region coding, a region 1 DVD (US) wont work in a normal region 3 (Philippines) player. Unless it is common for all the DVD players in the Philippines to be region unlocked, she probably wont be able to watch it.

Someone that has been there can probably tell you if they all have region free players or not. Computer DVD drives will be the same, so that's not going to help you.

Thats what she was talking about with the coding! OK what will ripping and burning a copy accomplish? Will it disable the coding on the ripped copy?

Bill

[piglett]

The fact that your girl is no wanting to accept any money from you is a good sign.
Back a few months ago my future wife's fan quit working & she lives on the 4th floor in Manila. It was hot as all hell that week there & she said she was having a really hard time sleeping. I offered her money & she said NO. I knew she needed a fan asap so I asked her if I sent her the money if she would buy me a fan for when I came to visit.
She said ok & i sent her $40 through xoom. I then received a text from her saying that she had the fan & also exactly how much money she had left over.

maybe try asking her if you send her money will she be able to chat with you more than 1 hour a day. also don't send cash ever through the mail.

piglett

[Woody]

Thats what she was talking about with the coding! OK what will ripping and burning a copy accomplish? Will it disable the coding on the ripped copy?

Bill

The coding you were talking about is the picture format(NTSC versus PAL versus SECAM), this is part of the encryption setup.

Ripping will remove the CSS (Content Scrambling System, encryption). Make sure you select to remove region coding also (most ripping software does this automatically or gives you the option).

Since we are talking about Avatar, you will want to go out and buy a Dual Layer DVD, it will cost you $16 for a pack of five at BestBuy.

Unless, that is, you want to use something like DVDShrink (Wont rip newer discs, but will shrink the copy on your hard drive to fit on a single layer DVD). Quality probably wont be affected too much, especially if you shrink it to only the movie itself(no extras) and only the stereo audio track.

As for what is the best ripping software, AnyDVD HD is the best there is. You get a 21 day trial, so if this is going to be your only time ripping, may as well just use the trial.

[Ray]

NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER send any cash through the mail to the Philippines. Not even a one dollar bill!!

If you are smart, you will completely keed money out of the equation. Let her worry about how she pays for her Internet time.

Ray

[Bill_McC]

NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER send any cash through the mail to the Philippines. Not even a one dollar bill!!

If you are smart, you will completely keed money out of the equation. Let her worry about how she pays for her Internet time.

Ray

Ok so money is not a good idea. I knew that and I know that. The thing is that she does all of the hard work so that we can talk when we do and it makes me feel a bit like a slug. She gets up two hours early in the AM, walks to an internet cafe rain or shine, pays for the internet time, talks to me for whatever time she can afford that day, then walks back home rain or shine, and then works all day. All the while I sit here in air conditioned comfort, fresh shower, dinner done and take what time she can afford. It just doesn't seem right to me. Shes told me point blank not to send her anything, but I'm not one to always follow orders especially when I know how difficult it is for her.

Whats the problem with sending money to the PI? Not in my case, but in general. What can I do if anything to try to make it a bit easier for us to talk without her doing all of the hard worK and me sitting on my back side reaping all the benefits?

Bill

[thekfc]

.

NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER send any cash through the mail to the Philippines. Not even a one dollar bill!!

If you are smart, you will completely keep money out of the equation. Let her worry about how she pays for her Internet time.

Ray

I will echo what Ray said.
For starters, if it is discovered that she did received money through the mail - she will never receive another later again. Every single letter addressed to her will be opened, search for valuable & then discarded/destroyed.

A few notes on ripping/burning movies & playing in the Philippines.
I used to rip & burn movies for co-workers & friends and I did looked at dvd players & tested 3 different ones while I was in Manila. I also gave my girl a few burnt movies - all but one played on their dvd player but it played in their computer. I will also be taking a few movies with me on my upcoming trip
So, I would like to add a few more notes to what Woody said.

I saw a lot of all-region dvd players in the Philippines. I also notice a few VCD players too (they are much cheaper & very common in Asia). So ask her what make/kind of dvd player she have - it may be a region free player as they are quite common.
 
If you are to rip & send and dvd movies, use a good blank media -Verbatim, TY, Sony (Made in Japan or Taiwan).

A lot of dvd players cannot handle a DL( much less a cheaper quality disc) especially if that disc is not burnt properly. The player/disc will start to hiccup when "changing" layers or even freeze. That is one reason a lot of people "strip" a disc & only put the movie portion on a single layer disc.
Commercial disc do not have that problem.

If you want only the movie portion on a disc, you can do that. There are a lot of programs (CloneDVD, DVD Shrink, DVD2one, RipIt4Me, etc), It is also good to have AnyDvd. These programs let you choose what you want to include/leave out when ripping.

As I type this reply, I am putting the finishing touches on a few movies that I plan on taking with me on my next trip.

[z_k_g]

I don't see a problem with spending money when it facilitates your communication with your woman.  In your case your woman refuses to accept cash to offset her internet expenses.  I do agree "DO NOT" send cash in any of your packages.  Cash will never arrive at the destination!

In order for my sweetie to chat with me she was using her brothers cell phone which included opera mini with yahoo messenger.   We basically yahoo messenger 24 hours a day!  But it was her brothers phone and he was moving out in June.

I purchased her the exact same phone on ebay in the PI, had it sent to her house. She gave the "new" cell to her brother and we continue to yahoo as much as we like; I have yahoo on my phone also so we are always in contact!

As repeated here many times, any reputable Pinay will not accept any money from you!!  PERIOD!  But in some cases where it may be more convenient, she can do the purchasing on your behalf  and get the "Pinay" price!  Also some items are much cheaper for her to purchase in PI than for you to send and pay shipping.  If you want to help her in an emergency, or send money for whatever reason, then you can use XOOM.com, she will just need a bank account or you can do a cash pickup, they are pretty flexible and the options are clearly spelled out on the website.

However you decide to conduct your private business, it will all depend on your specific woman and how responsible she is with money.

Sooner or later you will have to trust her judgment and honesty.

Zulukong

[Bill_McC]

I'm not sending normal post, I'll be sending via FedEx. She told me that the mail didn't get delivered if there was anything of value in it but that FedEx was ok. So I take it that sending money isn't a legal issue, it's a corruption issue with the post offices there?

Thank you for all of the DVD advice, it's a lot to absorb. I'm not a computer guru but I do ok. I'm going to reread all of this and see what I can do to get this working.

I just wish she would let me help out with the day to day communication. She got up at 5 this morning, had coffee and bread, walked to the cafe, and just talked to me for 2 hours. She just signed off about 10 minutes ago, so shes walking home again right now.

Shes a very proud woman and shes absolutely beautiful. I can see exactly how a man could fall head over heels for someone like this.

Bill

[z_k_g]

Sending money is a legal issue, its not allowed by US federal statues, i would not advise it.

Buts that's not the issue I'm referring too.  In the province, or Manila for that matter, mail from US is rare.  It will probably be opened on the first trip.  If there is money, the money or valuables removed, and the other contents will surely get "lost".  Remember, corruption is pretty high in PI and the mail is a pretty easy target.  Kano mail is prime for goodies!

Don't send cash, jewelry, coins, or valuables.  I'm not sure if FedEx is door to door in PI, if they do, then your chances of intact delivery may be higher, but quite frankly, FedEx in PI may have the same issues as the postal service there!

Also you will have to declare every item in your package.  I use very generic terms for my packaged items so the sorters at the mail centers will not get the urge to "inspect" the kano package!

All my packages have arrived intact so far!  I use US Postal Priority Mail, takes 7- 10 days.

Zulu

[thekfc]

I'm not sending normal post, I'll be sending via FedEx. She told me that the mail didn't get delivered if there was anything of value in it but that FedEx was ok. So I take it that sending money isn't a legal issue, it's a corruption issue with the post offices there?

Have you check the price of sending a package/letter via FedEx to the Philippines?
They are very expensive. The cost of shipping will be more than the value of what you plan on sending.

In the province, or Manila for that matter, mail from US is rare.  It will probably be opened on the first trip.  If there is money, the money or valuables removed, and the other contents will surely get "lost".  Remember, corruption is pretty high in PI and the mail is a pretty easy target.  Kano mail is prime for goodies!

Mail to Manila isn't rare - Just about everything (mail, packages, Balikbayan Boxes, etc) goes thru Manila & then distributed to the rest of the Philippines. Mail/Packages/boxes to Manila are quicker/distributed first because that is where the "hubs" are.

I have sent many letter & packages to Manila without any major problems (so far). The only time I had "a problem" was in December - the post cards that took a long time to get be delivered & that should be expected during the x-mas season.

I'm not sure if FedEx is door to door in PI, if they do, then your chances of intact delivery may be higher, but quite frankly, FedEx in PI may have the same issues as the postal service there!

FedEx have their own delivery team in the Philippines so the package never leave their custody (except customs) & are delivered directly to the recipient. Your packages are traceable & insured (if lost) but FedEx is the most expensive courier to use.

[Bill_McC]

It's the weekend so I just had a two hour talk with C. again. On the weekends we talk in the mornings and the evenings. I told her about finding this site yesterday and sent her the link. Shes impressed and may be lurking. Now, that may be a huge mistake on my part, but total honesty is the way I operate with her.

We got back into the discussion about me wanting to pay for the internet time, and again she was dead set against it, so I changed tactics. Shes said several times that she is saving for a laptop computer, so my tactic change was to present the idea of her saving the internet costs toward the laptop. She wasn't real sure about that either until I told her that when she had it we would be able to talk more often and for longer times. That turned the tide.

Honestly if she wasn't so dead set against me paying for the talk time, I don't think I would have even considered doing it.

I've done a bit of looking into xoom and that does appear to be the way to go. Thank you all for your advice.

Bill

[Bob_S]

Shes a very proud woman and shes absolutely beautiful. I can see exactly how a man could fall head over heels for someone like this.

But that's the key you should look at.  I'll bet that part of her pride comes from her dignity at being self-sufficient.  Don't strip her of that by offering to be her sugar daddy.  Give her what she needs more, admiration for her efforts to take care of business herself.  For now, take your inner knight on a white horse, drag him off his horse, tie him up, and throw him into the cellar.  He means well, but he's going to just screw up your work you put into cultivating this budding relationship.  Referencing your previous posts on other topics, you're doing a lot right (learning some of the language, the history, the culture), but there's such a thing as doing too much of a good thing.

If you are set on wanting to support her, here is something other guys have done that works out well.  Before they go to visit in person, they open a simple bank account with a few hundred bucks.  It should come with an ATM card.  Take the card with you to visit her.  Toward the end of your trip, if you two both agree that you are a good match and want to pursue the relationship further, you can give her the card and the PIN.  You can replenish the account as required to cover her communication costs plus some fun money.  Anyway, just a suggestion for an idea that has worked well for others.