New guy but been thinking about this for a while

[hillbilly]

Hello everyone about me im 40 year old divorced with one child a son. I have been reading and thinking about
about trying colombia for awile,im still good shape ,work out religously, and look younger than my age.I live in
tennesse,country boy at heart,work for the railroad so im not rich but make a good living.Im still able to date
girls as young as 24 or 25 here but i also no what 99.99999 percent of them are up to lol.I have a few questions
if thats ok,are the colombian women really wanting a family and real love or looking to come here and cash out
out in a few years.When im dating someone i am loyal completly was also loyal to my ex (caught her 3 times)
it seems like all the women here just wanta free ride and run you ragged then clean you out,are they more loyal.
It also seems american women cant accept your children, almost jealous of them.I do not want a really young
girl as i believe thats trouble waiting to happen but would like someone say from 26 to 32, do u guys think thats realistic.I dont no any spanish,so was definatly looking at going with jamies service. THANKS EVERYONE HILLBILLY.       

[Alabamaboy!]

I think it would be a big mistake to even begin the process without knowing at least intermediate Spanish.  It is hard enough with knowing Spanish. Without it, you are just begging for trouble and to be taken advantage of.

After getting a good start with the Spanish, I would highly recommend Jamie's. But just listen to what he and his people advise you. If you go through the archives here, you will see tons of disaster stories from people who did not listen to his advice.

Also, if you do not have the means to travel at least 3 times a year, I would forget about it. If she is good looking at all, or has anything else going for her,  it is highly doubtful that she is going to be waiting around for you if you can only travel once a year.

[hillbilly]

Thanks for the reply,not in a big hurry to go,just tired of the me me me american way.I have ben reading the boards for some time and was planning on trying rossetta stone and learn as much spanish as possible.Im hoping to find someone thats good looking but with a good heart also,i do have the means to make that many trips a year.
I could be wrong and correct me if i am but i am under the impression that colombian women are more family friendly
than most american women.I also have no problem from taking advice from jamie,i figure the first trip i should just try and meet as many women as possible and try and treat it as a vaction.thanks alabama boy and if your a tide fan  GO VOLS...............

[bcc_1_2]

After getting a good start with the Spanish, I would highly recommend Jamie's. But just listen to what he and his people advise you

They'll definitely have a deep pool of (semi)available women and will be there for the hand holding a newbie might need. I'd just put an asterisk by the taking advice from him about relationships. Last I looked (it has been a long while) he had taken his wife completely off the website and posters where pointing out that they were no longer together. I'm just not a fan of taking a bunch of marriage advice from someone that I'm not sure has been successful in the subject they are advising. I don't think Shaq should teach kids how to shoot free throws. So until we get some clarifications on that I think it is a little risky to consider him an "expert" on western man/ colombian woman relationships.

[fathertime]

Hello Hillbilly,

I've used Jamie's service, it is Excellent in my opinion and he does give sound advice.  I found my wife via his website, I'm older than you have kids around the house, and not a brad pitt double, and am married to an attractive sincere gal, in her mid 20's, who will soon be having our first child together.  So don't think it can't happen to about anyone. 

You should learn some Spanish, or just try to meet women that speak english, but they are fairly rare in colombia.   When i first ventured to colombia I did not know too much spanish and did just fine with the ladies, but it is MUCH better to know some spanish and keep on building that aspect of yourself.  If you feel like going to colombia soon, then just go, don't play it cautious and think about it for years.  if you go, you will learn much more than can be said on this website, just ask a poster like woody who was green as moss, and now has a good perspective on things after just one trip. 

Fathertime!

[Alabamaboy!]

The advice I have heard Jamie giving is general advice in the way to get the most benefit out of the trip and to use your time wisely. Some basic themes are to not come to his place with only a couple girls on your list. To get the most benefit and increase your odds, it is good to have a lot of women lined up to meet. Because some will not show, some will be uglier in person, some will be better looking in person. Also, do not waste time writing to the girls before coming down. Since he does not sell addresses anymore that is not an issue. But a couple years ago I spent countless hours chatting and exchanging letters with girls who when I finally met them in person, were not at all attractive to me. Also, do not get hooked on the first hottie that shows you interest and then cancel all your other citas. That is a huge mistake and basically wastes the whole concept of what Jamie does. All the girls know that you are there to meet a bunch of girls. You do not need to be shy about it. You can always pick your favorites after all the citas are over. And the other thing I can think of offhand is not taking seriously the advice of his translators. Especially if you do not have an advanced grip of the Spanish language. And even if you do, they still will give you invaluable info because they know women, Barranquilleras, much better than you could possibly know unless you lived there yourself.

I don't think Jamie's personal life has anything to do with that kind of advice I was referring to. Oh, and by the way, the last time I saw him, he had an incredibly gorgeous woman on his arm and a gigantic smile on his face, so I don't think he is missing his ex wife much, if in fact they are separated or divorced.

[Alabamaboy!]

I do know a guy who came down to Jamie's with exactly one girl on his list. And only met her. Fell in love. Got married. And they are living happily ever after the last time I heard from him.

In general though, the girls from Barranquilla seem to be a little flakey to me in general. There are a lot of party girls there or girls who just are not ready for marriage. But there are a lot of gems there too. But you need to search a bit. And at the beginning when your head is spinning from watching all these beauties, it is hard to make clear decisions. And one girl that you did not notice on the first day, you may review your notes and see you have a lot in common and she may be the "gem" you were looking for all along.

[utopiacowboy]

I think you are making a big mistake even thinking about Colombia. The only kind of guy who can handle a Colombian woman and not get played is a guy who has a lot of Colombian machista in him. You sound like a nice guy but Colombian women eat nice guys for breakfast, lunch and dinner. And get him to pay for it.

[Pivery]

 Hi Hillbilly,

Welcome to the board. Yes Jamie's agency is very professional and the girls that are with his agency understand that they better show up for their
dates and not be ridiculously late. I also found my fiancée through him and he does know what he is doing, very professionally run and I could not have
made a better choice as he found exactly the woman I was looking for. I did not care what the man's personal life had to do with anything, and since he
delivered exactly what he promised on top of he and his staff gave wonderful insight and advise to me it still doesn't.

Now, with that being said, you going down there without any Spanish under your belt puts a heavy burden on you finding someone down there who can
speak Engligh (assuming you are going to Barranquilla). This is not a very likely scenario for you. The girls for the most part do not have enough English to
hold a conversation with you, and using a translator after a while gets old.

So as you said earlier that you were in no rush, take this time to get yourself in the position of getting your Spanish down to a point where if you do find a
woman regardless of you choosing to go to Jamie's or not that you are able to understand some of what she is saying as well as you can hold
a small conversation with her. Take your time with this whole process and you should be just fine.

Good Luck, 

Pivery

[Alabamaboy!]

Now that UC has come out and said it, I would almost have to agree with him. Even with everything going for you it is going to be difficult, expensive, and a wild ride. I consider it almost a miracle that I am with a seemingly terrific girl now. But it was only after a bunch of trips, tons of letters/chat sessions, lots of crazy stories. In some ways it is fun, but in others it is just not even worth it.

With money the way it is these days, I don't know if I would do it all again or not if I had to start from the beginning. If I was in my 20's and no kids, hell yeah! But 40's with kids, business? Maybe not. If my kids were already grown and I had money to burn, yeah probably.

But whatever you do, be strong, keep your eyes open, read the archives here. Prepare for the worst and hope for the best.

[Alabamaboy!]

Also, you say you live in Tennessee. Is it a large city? A small town? I can't really imagine a Barranquillera being very happy in an isolated little town. Colombianas are typically very social, like to shop, and used to having a lot of family and friends around....all of whom speak Spanish of course. Almost all of them will list dancing and going to the beach as their favorite pastimes. So unless you plan on going on a lot of vacations, you need to brush up on your dancing a bit.

If you live in a large city I think you can do it. Just don't do what another new poster mentioned here, that he left her kind of isolated at first because he was working too much, then she started going to the college and ended up with a lot of guys calling her, bringing her gifts, dropping by or whatever. And the relationship ended quickly.

[hillbilly]

Thanks for all the info from everyone .I am a nice guy but i have been through the meat grinder here,i have had
several beautiful women here and they only seem to care about themselves , you may be right they may eat me alive but it sure looks  like fun..........

I do live in a small town so that may be a problem,im pretty active still and shopping trips should not be a problem.
The way i have been looking at it is make a trip,if it fits great if not so be it.I have been divorced almost five years
and cant beleive how wild the girls have become,i will not marry someone i no will not be around in five years.The
girls from colombia are beautiful in my eyes and i dont see what it could hurt to try it out.I have read some of the horror stories, but i do feel after my divorce my eyes are wide open,my last girlfriend moved out about a month ago, she was pretty with a very nice frame,  only twenty six but i just could not commit to marriage,who knows this may not be for me either. I will learn some spanish before i go, THANKS EVERYONE 

[Bob_S]

I'm glad UC said it first, because here's some hard painful truth you may not want to hear.  Stop reading if you don't like it.







Seriously, you do not want to read this.

When im dating someone i am loyal completly was also loyal to my ex (caught her 3 times)

That you actually stuck around to catch her 2 more times shows that you are not loyal, you are a doormat.  Those Latinas will chew you up and spit you out, then rip off your head, crap down your neck, staple your head back to your neck, slap you around, and make you beg for more.  Then make you pay for the whole experience.  If you didn't have a child already, I'd say go for it.  It's a valuable lesson on your pain tolerance.  But if you don't want your son seeing you humiliated through all that drama, stop now.
Not that I expect to disuade you from this course.  Just remember, a year from now when you are going through a messy train wreck: it's not them, it's you.  We tried to warn you.

Harsh enough?

[Alabamaboy!]

I can give you another piece of advice as well. No matter how good looking you are and that the Colombianas tell you that you are, you are no way as good looking and in shape as the millions of guys running around Colombia. So as strange as this may seem, you should not even try for the really hot looking girls. They are going to make your life a mess. They will have unlimited guys hitting on them every day over there. And when they get here, same thing. But here the other guys will have cash too.

Now on the other hand if you pick a younger lady, with a good heart, that is not so great looking....maybe like a 60-75 on the hottie scale, then you may have a great opportunity on your hands. Because in Colombia, it is all about beauty. They are obsessed with it. But the less hot girls seem to see the writing on the wall, and begin at a very early age to learn how to cook, clean, and care for people. The hotties seem to be treated like queens by everyone, even their own family.

My ex from BAQ, was smoking hot, and was like that. Her family did not want her to wash dishes or cook or anything because they did not want her to break her nails, or mess up her skin with an oil splatter or something. So they would make the uglier cousin or someone do that kind of work. And I was just sitting there thinking....."damn, that uglier girl is the one I should be with, not this Beyonce-twin that I have now"

[Alabamaboy!]

And those uglier ones alot of times have smoking hot bodies and can dance and move like the hotties. And maybe even will "clean up" nicely here in the States after buying some makeup, new clothes, etc.

Stay away from the Hottiesssssssss!

"If You Want To Be Happy For The Rest of your Life" a song by Jimmy Soul:
Hey hey hey hey hey
If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty women your wife
Go for my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty women your wife
Go for my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you

A pretty women makes her husband look small
it very often causes a system fall
As soon as he marrys her then she starts
looking for things that will break his heart
but if you make an ugly women your wife
you'll be happy for the rest of your life
An ugly women will put peals on that
and she'll always give you a piece of that.

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty women your wife
Go for my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you

Don't let your friends tell you you have no taste
go ahead and marry anyway
Her face is ugly her eyes don't match
take it from me shes a better catch

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty women your wife
Go for my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you

Dude 1:say man
Dude 2:hey man
Dude 1: I saw your wife the other day
Dude 2: Yeah
Dude 1: Yeah and Shes Ugly
Dude 2: Yeah shes Ugly but she sure can cook baby.
Dude 1: Yeah

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty women your wife
Go for my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty women your wife
Go for my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty women your wife
Go for my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you

(FADE)
If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty women your wife
Go for my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you

[Woody]

That you actually stuck around to catch her 2 more times shows that you are not loyal, you are a doormat.  Those Latinas will chew you up and spit you out, then rip off your head, crap down your neck, staple your head back to your neck, slap you around, and make you beg for more.  Then make you pay for the whole experience.

Kinda have to agree with Bob here. If you have the money, do it anyways, you might get lucky. Maybe in a year or two you will consider Asia.


Not saying this is you, but some people need a woman to run their lives. I have a coworker, not the brightest guy, spineless, indecisive, etc. He met a woman, she is definitely not what you would call attractive, but he had reached the point that he really wanted to get married (25, no love life, no potential for one). It is not like is is an ugly guy either, he is 6' tall, runs two miles in 11 minutes, etc. But, he is socially inept and it shows in that he can't get a date.

Back on subject, they got married, he is happy. She runs every aspect of his life, and you know what, that is exactly what he needed. She knows she cant do any better, he knows he cant do any better. They are happy, go figure. Now this is not a foreign relationship story, just a story of how even a doormat can find happiness.  

[bcc_1_2]

I don't think Jamie's personal life has anything to do with that kind of advice I was referring to. Oh, and by the way, the last time I saw him, he had an incredibly gorgeous woman on his arm and a gigantic smile on his face, so I don't think he is missing his ex wife much, if in fact they are separated or divorced.

Not a flattering defense. That is why you come to PL for relationship advice. The book lots of appointments/dates and meet lots of women is all good and well. But on issues of how to select the right woman and maintain a long term relationship... the person you described above is not the person to dish out advice. But any single/divorced marriage agency owner is probably not someone I'd take relationship advice from. Especially when you have happily married folks on PL who will offer advice without payment of $3000 or whatever it costs down there now.

[bcc_1_2]

I can give you another piece of advice as well. No matter how good looking you are and that the Colombianas tell you that you are, you are no way as good looking and in shape as the millions of guys running around Colombia. So as strange as this may seem, you should not even try for the really hot looking girls.

I've got to push back on this as well. To just be straight up and blunt if you are a decent looking to attractive white gringo from Europe or the United States I'd say you have an excellent advantage in many areas. In looks you have an advantage. Hell why do you think many of girls consider themselves as "white" even though in reality they are not. To be honest and not politically correct if you are young, attractive, and yes white you have a huge advantage. Plus they assume you are well off (which is great short term and can be bad long term). They also give you the benefit of the doubt on how you will treat them and your temperment.

Bottomline is decent looking gringos have a huge advantage across the board.

[piglett]

Welcome to the board Hillbilly
You mite also want to check out some of the ladies from the Philippines.
some of them have Spanish blood in them & they for the most part all speak English
this is where I met my soon to be wife http://www.filipinaheart.com/
good luck with your search


piglett

[fathertime]

Also, you say you live in Tennessee. Is it a large city? A small town? I can't really imagine a Barranquillera being very happy in an isolated little town. Colombianas are typically very social, like to shop, and used to having a lot of family and friends around....

Hey buddy!

I got to say my woman must be the wacky one.  We are about as isolated as if we were in a one store town on the prairie. Aside from my family and a few friends my wife doesn't really get out much and seems to be just fine with that.  I must say we do go to vegas/san diego quite often but it can be a few weeks between trips.  I really think that for a certain percentage of woman in BAQ, being in a small town is just fine.  One thing though that would help the lady is a good internet connection so she can remain connected with her family in Colombia!

Fathertime!

[fathertime]

I can give you another piece of advice as well. No matter how good looking you are and that the Colombianas tell you that you are, you are no way as good looking and in shape as the millions of guys running around Colombia. So as strange as this may seem, you should not even try for the really hot looking girls. They are going to make your life a mess. They will have unlimited guys hitting on them every day over there. And when they get here, same thing. But here the other guys will have cash too.

Now on the other hand if you pick a younger lady, with a good heart, that is not so great looking....maybe like a 60-75 on the hottie scale, then you may have a great opportunity on your hands. Because in Colombia, it is all about beauty. They are obsessed with it. But the less hot girls seem to see the writing on the wall, and begin at a very early age to learn how to cook, clean, and care for people. The hotties seem to be treated like queens by everyone, even their own family.

My ex from BAQ, was smoking hot, and was like that. Her family did not want her to wash dishes or cook or anything because they did not want her to break her nails, or mess up her skin with an oil splatter or something. So they would make the uglier cousin or someone do that kind of work. And I was just sitting there thinking....."damn, that uglier girl is the one I should be with, not this Beyonce-twin that I have now"

Your killing me buddy!  Now that I have been through the whole cycle, I'd say for newbies to pin their ears back, bring the 'elephant balls' and take a shot at a beauty queen if that is what they want/can handle!  I say this based on the fact that I found a young babe that must people would never think a regular man of my age and looks should be entitled to!  Of course I had to sift through a few dozen babes first to find the one I thought was most sincere and that I would be happy with as well.  I hear ya though, what is considered plain woman in Colombia would be a fine babe for the average man here!

Fathertime!

[fathertime]

there are some wild exaggerations occurring on this thread from a poster who has never used the service of or spoken to Jamie.  I'm not at liberty to bash this posters motivations as much as I normally would. That being said I will reiterate that had it not been for Jamie's service and his useful advice along the way, I likely would have not found my wife, so based on my DIRECT EXPERIENCE with Jamie and his International Introductions company, I suggest that posters listen to what he says while using his service in Barranquilla.  He knows the lay of the land and specifics much more then general advice given on this website or any other, as he knows a lot of the ladies of his website and will also know you on a personal level, whereas posters here only know you from an avatar. 

Fathertime! 

[hillbilly]

Ouch, actually stayed after my ex wifes first time stepping out after filing for divorce over second offense did
i find out about the third guy , and no offense but when you have a three year old looking at you for support you will take more s it than normal.I do believe in family,and i seem to always end up with a hottie ,you guys maybe right colombian women may not be for me.I was under the impression that they were more geared toward family
than the typical american woman . Please keep the advice coming good or bad lol.IT seems some off you guys think the asian girls would fit me better explain the differences if you would thanks guys.


   

[whitey]

I think you are making a big mistake even thinking about Colombia. The only kind of guy who can handle a Colombian woman and not get played is a guy who has a lot of Colombian machista in him. You sound like a nice guy but Colombian women eat nice guys for breakfast, lunch and dinner. And get him to pay for it.

I am the proverbial "nice guy".  But I think there is a world of difference between being a nice guy and being a naive doormat (not saying that's you Hillbilly).

This is something I struggled with before my first trip to Colombia, and was even something I discussed with my (now) fiance prior to meeting her in person the first time.  What does being "macho" mean?  How do I need to modify my behavior to be successful in a relationship with a colombiana?

Most colombianas want you to be sure of who you are, to be be stable and serious, to be the main provider, and to in many cases take the lead role in the partnership.  In other words, to be a man (unlike many gringas who want to be the man, unless it's not convenient).  

But that doesn't mean you have to be an a-hole.  It doesn't mean you have to rule with an iron fist.  It doesn't mean you shouldn't ask her opinion before making decisions.  It doesn't mean you tell her what to do all the time.  It doesn't you can't be loving and affectionate and romantic.  UC - not saying this is what you meant by "machista" but the word is open to interpretation.

Turns out I really didn't have to modify my behavior much.  My fiance just naturally lets me be the man.  And we're both better off for that.  But she is very even tempered and  "descomplicada" as they say on the coast (uncomplicated).  Definitely not all colombianas are like that!  So, we're a good fit.

Good luck Hillbilly ... don't cross Colombia off the list, but read up, be prepared, don't be in a hurry, learn basic Spanish, and don't be a pushover.

[hillbilly]

I dont see myself as a push over at all,i will be kind,very easy going,loyal when isay i will.That being said i will not puut up with the typical american hotties games not to long anyway  LOL.I could be wrong but i believe i would really like a colombia womans spunk, from what i have read anyway.

I have made up my mind to not get attached to the super hottie which usually happens but try and find someone
thats attractive ,older and ready for a long term relationship.Most guys that have been to divorce court here will
naturally be more on gaurd i would believe,the latinas to me are extremly hot so i can see where i would need to be even more carefull.I do appreciate all the advice,and my head may not be on as tight as i think it is especially in a room full of some of the girls i have seen on the agency websites.I am the type of person that thinks things through for the most part.Everyone lives and learns,women are women every where i no but from what i have read on here and other sites it just seems that a latina may be a better choice.THANKS