Barranquilla Baloney.....

[lite sweet dude]

Maybe you guys are right about it being ignorance and or laziness. But you'd think I would have met at least one that knew how to use correct punctuation. And I used to write to many Latinas, upper and lower class.
LSD  

[Chris F]

Bama,
To answer your question about my Peruana, I wouldn't trade her for a sack of gold. She has all the qualities I am looking for in a wife and mate. Sure, nothing's perfect and we have our ups and downs, but I'm happy and she makes me happy. And vice versa. Great family, too. I feel like I'm one of them. They've accepted me totally.
I can even overlook her lack of punctuation in emails! 
LSD

Hey LSD!!

Welcome to the Peruana Club!!!

Our track record for marriages are fantastic and our numbers keep growing!!

In July, it will be the five year mark for me!!!

Would you mind posting some pics? I would love to see the two of you.

Chris:))

[Alabamaboy!]

LSD, thanks for the info. Man it is a cut throat world out there. For the guys and the girls at times too. Seems like there are some horrible stories out there.

But glad to hear things are cool now with you. I guess things happen for a reason.

Take care.

[whitey]

If I were a new guy reading a lot of the posts on this thread, I doubt I'd ever go to Barranquilla. 

A lot of negative, sweeping generalizations about the women there have been made, and I have no doubt that they are true for a certain class of woman.  BUT, there are MANY MANY decent, hardworking, faithful, truthful, beautiful, and affectionate women there.

My novia, her friends, sisters, and work mates that I have met are almost all working full time and studying for their university degrees at night.  All would make excellent wives IMO.  My novia, for example, gets up at 5:00am several days per week to study English, then heads to work until 6:30-7:30pm. 

Unfortunately, I've already taken the best woman in Barranquilla, but there are MANY more out there.  I don't mean to be a dick, but it seems to me that a lot of guys make some bad choices and then blame the woman.

Whitey 



 

[Pivery]

 I agree with you Whitey.

There are some sweeping statements about the women from Barranquilla and it's not fair. There are problem women in BAQ, Bogotá, Cali, etc...
My lady from Barranquilla is also very hard-working, cooks, cleans, helps out with her family and studies English to better herself. Guys have to
filter out the real gold from the fool's gold, that's all. And yes I know there are bad women out there, but the city or the barrio is not to blame for this.

As far as you having the best woman from Barranquilla, I have to disagree with you there...

Pivery

[fathertime]

I agree with you Whitey.

There are some sweeping statements about the women from Barranquilla and it's not fair. There are problem women in BAQ, Bogotá, Cali, etc...
My lady from Barranquilla is also very hard-working, cooks, cleans, helps out with her family and studies English to better herself. Guys have to
filter out the real gold from the fool's gold, that's all. And yes I know there are bad women out there, but the city or the barrio is not to blame for this.

As far as you having the best woman from Barranquilla, I have to disagree with you there...

Pivery

I'm afraid I'm going to have to agree with pivaroni and whitey on this one.  I am just reading and giggling to myself all the sweeping statements. Always a little truth to them, but I wouldn't define the women quite that way. Barranquilla is a great place to meet the ladies.

I'm going to have to say pivs that I have to disagree with the best woman comment, I've got the best one, at least the best one for me!

Fathertime!

[whitey]

Let's call it a three-way tie.  ;-)

But my dad can still beat up your dads ...

Whitey

[Alabamaboy!]

Yeah there are a lot of good ones there in BAQ, because there are probably 1 million available women in that area of Colombia. But seems like you sure do need to sort through a bunch to find the good ones. When I was talking about the observations I made during my many trips there, the vast majority of them were not even girls I dated. They were other guy's women and I witnessed them doing some pretty bad stuff. Lots of them. And many of the "amigas" that I have had in the past on MSN, I would chat with them just to practice my spanish, and the things that many of them would say and do was shocking to say the least.

But you guys are right, there are more good candidates there than here for sure.

AS of last night my girl said that she is quitting SENA again because she now really understands that she needs to spend more time on English. She sure does sound sincere. But she did last time too. Let's see what happens. She did actually do a bunch of other things she was supposed to do today, without a hitch. And was up and out the door before 8 AM to do so. SO maybe she has turned the corner on things and is starting to understand things better now.

Hopefully I can join the ranks of the good BAQ squad with Pivrey, FT, and Whitey.

[Patrick]

I didn't read all of this thread, but from the few posts of your's I did read, it looks like you're headed for a train wreck.  One of the hardest things about dating and marrying a foreign woman is giving up on the huge investment in time (and money) on a relationship when it doesn't turn out well.  Are you sure you're not staying in this because you simply don't want to start over?

This will probably be my only reply in here because I seldom read the site anymore, but I've seen a lot of Colombian/US relationships and even the those that start off well don't always work out.  If you're expecting this woman to change (including learning English) then I think you're making a mistake.

Best of luck.  And remember, this decision isn't just about you.  You have to think about your kids.

[Alabamaboy!]

Yeah, I am definitely thinking about my kids. But like Fathertime and Utopiacowboy say, the language thing is not really incredibly important. Especially when I live in a place where probably 40% of the population are spanish speaking or bilingual to a certain extent. My 3 year old even calls her by herself on speed dial and says: "hola, como 'stas?" So I think she will be OK. My son too seems intrigued and wants to learn spanish with her.

The thing I don't like is the lying. And I am 100% convinced that is a cultural thing, especially on the coast (no offense). And can be "cured" when she gets here and sees that is not the way things are typically done. I have Colombian friends who live here now who say that was a hard thing for them to get used to: not lying and also trusting other people. But now they are fine as far as I can see. They assimilated well.

All I know for sure is that she loves my kids, my kids love her, we love each other, we have enough income where we will not have to struggle to stay alive. So I think we have a chance. We will see when she gets here on the fiancee visa. I think it will be pretty much obvious at that time.

[Ray]

The thing I don't like is the lying. And I am 100% convinced that is a cultural thing, especially on the coast (no offense). And can be "cured" when she gets here

We will see when she gets here on the fiancee visa. I think it will be pretty much obvious at that time.
 

I'm sorry, but that kind of thinking is not very smart.

I agree with Patrick. You better resolve all these issues BEFORE you bring her over.



Ray

[Capstone]

Bama,

I have to agree with Ray & Patrick - if things keep going down the same track then it is a train wreck waiting to happen. Admittedly I don't know much about Latinas but I do know if there is something about any woman that irritates you now then it will only compound at least ten fold after getting married. Don't let cultural differences (no matter where the girl may be from) excuse behavior that is not acceptable to you because you will never be able to "cure" it as hard as you may try.

Good Luck!

[Alabamaboy!]

The lying thing I have already seen "cured" with a couple friends/associates who came to the States from Colombia. Because as they told me, lying is basically acceptable and usual way of doing business in Colombia. And if you get "busted" there is no real penalty because most everyone is lying there. But when they got here to the States and learned that the majority of people are not lying like that, and in fact if you are "busted" it will cost you clients, business opportunities, etc, then they quickly became "cured" of the lying.

And if you bust your fiancee lying to you here in the States and you start spending your afternoons pricing one way tickets back to Colombia for her, I think it will be a very short learning curve for her to realize that it is not cool to lie about why there was an extra moneygram payment to her mom's house last month.

And she does do many, many good things for me too. Let's not forget that. So do those things get worse and worse when she gets here? Or will they get even more accentuated? Who knows? Do only the bad things get accentuated?

And I do realize I am not perfect. So for me to expect perfection in every way is not realistic.

[Alabamaboy!]

And three months is a pretty good long period of time to check things out before going to the next level. And even then, with a pre-nupt, I should be at least somewhat protected.

[utopiacowboy]

I always find it funny when people talk about the lying in Colombia. I think Americans are just as big liars as Colombians are. Look around at our politicians, businessmen, sports figures, etc etc. They are all liars! The main theme of Seinfeld, one of the most popular shows ever on US television is lying. George is the worst but every character on the show is a liar. In daily life some of my friends are notorious liars. I think it's easier for us to see the lying in another culture than it is to see it in our own. My wife thinks Americans are the biggest liars on the planet.

[Bob_S]

And if you bust your fiancee lying to you here in the States and you start spending your afternoons pricing one way tickets back to Colombia for her,

And if she decides she doesn't want to go back, how will you force her?

And she does do many, many good things for me too. Let's not forget that. So do those things get worse and worse when she gets here? Or will they get even more accentuated? Who knows? Do only the bad things get accentuated?

Yes.

To assume anything else is an unrealistic gamble.



De-Nile.


Don't think we're just picking on you.  We've seen a lot of these things, and, well, we can see where it's going.

[Alabamaboy!]

I think you guys make a lot of good points, but damn man, if you think there are a lot of "perfect" women out there, you are mistaken. And I don't have like 50 years to search through the heap. If I have someone who is 90% in looks, and 80% combined in the other things, that is good enough for me. I think at least to come here on a fiancee visa for a few months to see if she can cut the mustard.

I have had many Colombians tell me they lie alot more than other cultures. And they advise me to never trust another Colombian fully. IF you do, it is equivalent to giving "paypaya". And when you do that, you deserve to be taken advantage of, because you are stupid. In other words, it is a given that you will be lied to, and you need to protect yourself at all times. I have been told those kind of things in every city I have ever traveled to in Colombia.

I do agree 100% though that politicians and wall street types here in the States lie alot, but I don't think the average US citizen lies anywhere near as much as the average Colombian. I have met, lived with, worked with, and dated people from all over the world, and nobody comes close to Colombians. Nobody. 

[Alabamaboy!]

Ray, I know about the affadavit of support but I have never heard of that actually being enforced. Does anyone have any proof of that ever happening? And I highly doubt she would stay here when she does not speak English, has no friends or family here, and she loves Barranquilla and Colombia so much. Even though she is probably living in an Estrato 2 place right now, I know she would prefer it if we would live there than here in a nice big house with a pool.

I am in a hurry because: I prefer sleeping with women than a big stack of pillows, I think it is important for my kids to have a complete family unit here, I think more than a year with this relationship is enough time to realize that we need to be together in the States to see how things are going to go. There is nothing else that can be determined when she is still there in BAQ. And I think that staying in a relationship too long is much more dangerous and a waste of time than doing things a little more quickly. I don't want to waste my time or hers. And we both want the same things and we both want to give it a try. Now, not a year from now. I think that these trips over there are a waste of time. 2-3 weeks is not the same as 2-3 months. And I need to see the "chemistry" between her and the kids. And that is not possible with my ex wife not letting me take the children to Colombia.

[utopiacowboy]

Giving papaya is putting yourself in a position to be taken advantage of. This may or may not involve being lied to. My wife has a ton of stories about Colombian women being wooed by gringos only to have the gringos disappear after having come down and banged them for a week. In a few cases they've been left pregnant. So who's trustworthy? There and here, trust has to be earned.

[utopiacowboy]

I do agree 100% though that politicians and wall street types here in the States lie alot, but I don't think the average US citizen lies anywhere near as much as the average Colombian. I have met, lived with, worked with, and dated people from all over the world, and nobody comes close to Colombians. Nobody. 

The average US citizen? Why do you think a lot of the mortgages that are now gone bad are called "liar loans"? Look around and you'll see deception on a massive scale that no Colombian could hope to compete with.

[Alabamaboy!]

I agree 100% with you that regarding huge lies in politics, business practices including giving loans to people who did not deserve them, covering up atrocities, military actions, things of this nature, nobody can do it on a scale as large as the US Goverment and banking industries. No argument there.

But the practice of lying just for the sake of lying, to make yourself look a little better, to enable you to juggle 5 women at the same time, to squeeze some extra money out of your husband/novio/fiancee to get some new shoes, or to simply avoid a little conflict, I have to say the Colombians have us beat. And especially when my girlfriend, her family, friends, almost all the girls I have ever chatted with or met there (paisas and Costenas), my Colombian friends here, almost all of them agree with me. They don't even have any hesitation or "verguenza" telling me that. They tell me that up front to make sure that I am careful with any and all business transactions, purchases, relationships. And I have found it to be great advice based on my experiences.

I think Utopiacowboy has a much different perspective on things because from all that he ever writes here, he has found a real class act in every sense of the word. And from my experiences in 5 major cities in Colombia, that is not the norm.

[Alabamaboy!]

Here is a good example of a Colombian lie: I noticed that in most of the agencies there are not many morenas. Other than Amor de Cartagena. And in BAQ you see jaw dropping morenas all day long. So I was thinking of having an agency/website that would sell contact info of women from BAQ, with an emphasis on morenas. My most trusted "friend" there, who has helped me out with some other business things, said he wanted to do business with me. I wanted to see how hard it would be to sign up new girls. So I told him I wanted him to take his digital camera and see how many new girls he could sign up in one day, with pics, profile, everything. I would pay him for that one day and based on the results would make a deal with him for steady work to build the database. Seems straightforward right? He told me it would be like shooting fish in a barrel since he knew where all the morenas were.

Anyway at the end of the day he was supposed to do the work, he did not give me anything, just a bunch of excuses. And by the end of the next day, I got like 5 profiles which were incomplete, appeared to not have been done by the girls themselves. But the kicker was that all the pictures were "robbed" from facebook, because he still left the very long facebook tags underneath each photo. And when I told him he was busted, he still did not admit it. Even after I explained it all and showed him the proof.

[Alabamaboy!]

So there was a guy that was starving for cash, had a great opportunity to make cash if he applied himself a bit, but instead chose to take the easy way out and tell a big story. So he could have made millions of pesos building the database, but instead ended up with just that one day's pay.

And at the end he told me that he actually "subcontracted" out the job to a girl friend of his from the University and that she was actually the "liar". Was that another lie?

[Alabamaboy!]

I do appreciate it though when they "lie" and tell you that you are the most handsome, desireable guy in the world, although you are surrounded by young, heterosexual, Ricky Martin looking guys!

[Caballero2009]

Sometimes topics on this board do get interesting and actually bring out some great points people MAY or MAY NOT want to think about.

I think when I first joined this board I was a little naive.....I really believed I could ask questions here and get info from experienced colombia travellers (which I did) and then I would use to find a nice colombian wife.

I believed "Girls down there keep saying they have been SCREWED [ literally and figurately] by colombian men who juggle 4-10 girls while lying and telling them they are the only one [which is what some of them even say in their profiles].

I saw these girls keep saying in their profiles they want a nice, sincere, sweet, loyal, kind, stable, guy who would love only her.

I fit that description i have ONLY been with 1 woman at a time and I am not player and I am ready to settler down. So youd think damn Im golden....until....

I joined colombiacupido.com... i got a alot of responses some were from cute girls. Now, Im what I consider alittle above average looking guy. Decently sexy and can hold my own when i have hit the gym for a while and am toned, have a tan, etc.  Not interested in American women at all sadly...but

So I chose to start with writing 1-2 colombian girls to write [wanted to keep it targeted not mass mail] and...the few girls I wrote i sent long emails and usually their emails were 1-2 liners at best and seemed automated almost. I wrote nice well thought out responses and informative details trying to entice them to be more informative... everything they said they wanted and they even said in their profiles alot of times "COMMUNICATION" is important to her. So I would find one girl would be the one I wanted to communcate with and after awhile of what seemed like OK communication she just stopped responding it was like talking to a wall. I thought hmm maybe shes  busy....then i realized just how busy obviously. Now this went on a few different times same pattern write a girl get to know her seems good then boom vanish no emails...so it seemed like none of them were serious about finding someone who was sincere like they say. Now what threw me is this was after weeks of "oh your the best guy I have ever known lets know each other better grow our relation...and your the sweetest guy ever...and wow you are so interesting" emails....so it confused me greatly.

So i am not sure if this was meant to be used this way but ... in the list of people who have emailed you on colombiacupid.com .. you can actually see whose online it flashes. So i would see these girls online like almost every day when i was trying to find someone who WOULD want to talk and be serious. So I sent a brief email and said lets talk on msn if thats easier for you to a few. No responses...

Well it became obvious what was happenig soon....after i recieved some emails from these girls saying "Hey Tom (or Bill or Dan) so youll be coming to colombia nex week I want date you!"  Well my name isnt Tom, Bill or Dan.... so uh yea... they cant even send the right email to the right person that means something to me and tells me a great deal. And especially after what I considered good time investment to get to know each other...but as soon as Gringo Bill decides to take a week vacation down there to screw her for a week she drops me like a hot potato -- yea the guy who is sweet, sincere, loyal, etc what they said they wanted.

So I really lost alot of my drive and belief in these girls....you find over the internet.

Now granted Im sure SOMEWHERE in the country of Colombia theres a few girls who are perfect for me....but I could also play the lottery and win it too maybe...


From all i have read, seen, heard, experienced it seems finding someone from colombia was 100% easier 10-20 years ago...now it seems like trying to swim across the water to get to the statue of liberty instead of taking a ferry.

I almost had no drive to go down there anymore because I am serious and these girls dont seem to be.

They seem to screw anyone on the first date...awesome... thats what I want in a wife....to wonder if shes had 50+ or 100+ guys this last year .. maybe it can be a game... "Guess What # You Are" I am SCREW #104! yay!

it just sucks really so BAMA i am not surprised at your situation..

maybe a sex tour is as good as just going down seems like the girls really are about the same.

Yea there are exceptions ... theres exceptions in USA too... sadly i think serious guys believed colombia was justa  little different than here...but with globalization i guess that is all in the past.