Would It Bother You?

[RK]

I met a girl on LAC, visited her just before Christmas and again about two weeks ago. Very sweet, genuine, affectionate, 30 yrs old. I am very interested in her and she seems to be with me. I am going back to Bogota this weekend for a few days to visit her again.

I've noticed that she is still active on LAC. I've never asked her to remove her profile and vice-versa. I asked her about it, and she says she just logs on to see what messages she may have from people. That kind of bothers me. Maybe it's a bit of jealousy, insecurity, combination of both. I haven't made any issue or discussion of it, other than one side joke about it (a little seriousness I guess, but I said it in jest).

I'm curious...would it bother any of you? If you were going to visit a girl for the third time for a short visit, would you address it? Should it be addressed? Am I out of line for letting it bother me? Your feedback would be appreciated. Thanks!

[Ray]

Have you proposed marriage to her? Has she accepted?

Until she has a ring and a date, I don't think you have any valid gripe.

If you want her to be yours exclusively, then go ahead and make it official and ask her to marry you...

Ray

[InnocentVixen]

RK congrats on finding a lady that you like so much, I wish you luck to both... it's ok to be a little jealous but Ray is right, you are not engaged, you are getting to know each other and you already made a comment about it (a joke but I am sure she noticed) I wouldn't be surprised if she is a bit jealous herself and she is actually there to check on YOU since you have not deleted your profile either 

I don't think it's a problem at this stage.

[robert angel]

In my book, until you're intimate and/or engaged, anything else is fair game and liable to happen.

[RK]

Thanks Ray...makes good sense.

InVix...thanks for your reply. We'll see what happens. BTW...I did delete my profile. It wasn't a joint decision or anything asked to do. I did it myself to show a sense of seriousness and that I didn't care to continue talking to other girls or corresponding. I guess she doesn't feel the same need at this point.

In my book, until you're intimate and/or engaged, anything else is fair game and liable to happen.

Intimacy is there, but not engaged.

[Pivery]

RK,

You both need to be on the same page feelings-wise. If you're serious about her and she isn't quite the same, there lies the problem. Once I knew I found the right woman in my now fiancée, I told her I was no longer looking for anyone else and she said the same thing. But this was some time down the road.

She may just be keeping her name out there until someone makes a proposal, so there's no need to get jealous or bent out of shape especially if she doesn't even know what your long term intentions are.

Pivery

[Alabamaboy!]

I agree, until you are engaged,  I don't think you can really expect her to pull out of the site. Of course if she took herself off ahead of all that I am sure it would score big points with you and make you very happy, maybe even make you want to take the relationship to the next level.

If it was me, it would be a bit of a signal to me that she is not 100% into me yet. Especially if I was already "intimate" with her.

[raycjs]

RK

i would have to agree with everyone on this subject... at this point you are both still getting to know each other... It is normal for her to keep her options open until you make your move.

You joked once with her about the site and at this point i would let it be if you keep bring the subject up she will take it the wrong way and it could cause a problem...

Best of luck to you


Ray

[RK]

Thanks AB, Pivery, and RayCJS...I really appreciate the feedback and it helps me to keep things in "check". I guess things happened really fast with us over the past two months. She's been divorced for a year from an American guy and I'm the first guy she's been intimate with since. I actually believe her, she's a fairly grounded woman and a responsible mother for her two yr old daughter.

Today I decided to log on to LAC and reactivate my unpaid profile. I'm just going to try to keep things on the same page for both of us. She was online at the time and sent me a message. How funny is that. We then had a chat on messenger and the subject of LAC came up. She said she is on there only as a hobby, that nobody is serious on there and it's for fun. I said OK, to each their own, have fun with that and make all the male friends you want, if that's what floats your boat. She then said I was jealous and I changed the subject. I referenced that I'm probably a friend like the others at this point, we're not engaged or married, knock yourself out. She said I was different and questioned whether I thought she was meeting and being intimate with other men from LAC. I said no, that I believed what she told me before.

She also questioned whether we became intimate too fast (my second visit), and mentioned we need more time for love and everything. I agree with that part, which mirrors everyone's common thoughts here.

The bottom line is this...I'm serious about a relationship leading to marriage, not making internet buddies and having fun. I have a dog who makes a great friend. However, I do believe friendship is the base of a healthy, long-term relationship. I guess I'm a little impatient right now and don't want to waste time with a situation that won't pan out for the long haul. I've wasted a lot of time in the past with women I shouldn't have, and now I'm trying my hardest to not do that again. I guess the challenge will be to do it patiently so as not to sabotage a good thing that may be in the works.

Again, any feedback is appreciated.

[Researcher]

    RK,
       It's quite common for latinas to keep their options open until they have a commitment.If she still has a profile on LAC it doesn't mean that she isn't into you,it just means that she probably isn't sure whether or not you are serious.


   Researcher

[mudd]

RK
as most already stated, your both just dating and really don't know each other well. on the other hand, as one poster said,  she may just be checking out what your doing on there, but from past experiences, if a girl really  likes you, and she knows your still on there and profile is active, she will drop some hints as to maybe removing  your profile, until she does, better keep meeting  other girls, and keep YOUR options open.

[eddomo1970]

If you have been to visit her 2 times already, have been intimate with her and she is still chatting up other guys? Already been divorced by another american man?
I won't pretend to know all the details, but for me I would cut my loses. From what women I have talked with online through those sites, they tell me that probably 90 percent of the men are just playing games trying to sex up the girls. Is that what the girl is into? Again not knowing the situation, it just doesn't sound like she is serious to land you, maybe looking for a bigger fish.

Anyway best of luck to you.

[RK]

eddomo, thanks for the feedback. Your feedback from the girls you talk to pretty much echoes what my girl told me. Maybe she thinks its fun, not serious, and non-committal. Who knows. I wouldn't waste my time with all that, for sure.

I'm going to start another post based upon a conversation I just had with her, and I look forward to everyone's reply. Thanks.