Life in S. CA as we approach 5 months

[fathertime]

    As it is chilly and raining again today the kids are cuddled up on both sides of my lady as they play ‘Farmville’ on Facebook again today.  I’m often the odd person out during these times, but I have another computer in the same room to keep me company, and besides I enjoy sitting back and watching the family talking, laughing, and farting together, while I have the relative safety of 12 or so feet distance.  I love the lady's cooking thus far, she creates a great dish of  ‘Chinese Rice’ among other things.  I can accept the little things that are imperfect about her and it seems she has accepted any imperfections she might think I have. I’m pretty sure I don’t have any anyway.   My woman has been very happy with simple pleasures, she bought several pairs of $1 jeans on the sales rack at Macy’s and on her they look like a million bucks. As a family sometimes we enjoy playing king of the mountain on the extra bed or other times playing a crazy game of tag througout the house.  We get along well.

The issue last month where I chose to sleep apart for an evening seems to have been a watershed moment.  There has been a couple times where I thought that she was going to ask be to sent back to Barranquilla because of missing the family and the life she once had.  I even talked to her about leaving and gave her an easy way out if she wanted it, but no dice.  She seems to value ‘a good man’ over everything else she once had in her life… I couldn’t be more honored! I am also pretty sure that the experience of being the age I am now has benefited our relationship, as I don’t think it would be as good when I was younger and more prone to impatience and stupidity.


Recently she began to verbalize an internal fit after reflecting upon some of the people she met in the past at disco’s.  She said that ‘gringos’ are horrible dancers.  It was mentioned that she would get asked to dance by a ‘ uncoordinated gringo’ and would never accept because it was just too embarrassing to dance with somebody who couldn’t dance.  I thought to myself about my first trip to Colombia over 5 years ago,when I had a few drinks and went out and danced like a puppet on the end of a string.  It is a certainty I was one of those ‘uncoordinated gringos’.  During my 3 trip courtship with my babe, I avoided dancing like the plague.  It seems that that is a good route if you are dancing challenged or totally disinterested as I am.    I’ve been told that our kids will be able to dance. That is fine with me, but it won’t be me giving those lessons. 

I’ve really been sandbagging the visa process up to now but now I'm getting the rusty gears in motion to get this paperwork in the pipeline. 

Fathertime!

[Pivery]

 It's nice to hear things are coming along FT. It would be kinda weird if there weren't some bumps and occasional squabbles and hurt feelings as we are trying to combine two completely different cultures, and in some cases personalities. I know my lady and I have had a couple of situations that for a few days I thought we were done. But love overcomes these things, (for the most part) and we have never gone back to rehash old problems. Nice to see that there are some women who value a good relationship for life rather than a lot of women just jumping out of the burning plane and pulling the chute.

My lady is alot better with money than I am. She is a very frugal woman and even makes a good deal of her own clothes herself which is almost unheard of anymore. She loves sewing and has even made me a few things. Also nice to have a woman around that knows the value of money and not trying to drain your wallet all the time.

Good luck FT!

Pivery

[no comment]

I’m often the odd person out during these times, but I have another computer in the same room to keep me company, and besides I enjoy sitting back and watching the family talking, laughing, and farting together, while I have the relative safety of 12 or so feet distance.

FT, you know what they say... "a family that plays together, stays together." And a family that farts together...... um, I don't know. Time will tell. Good luck. Open a window.

[fathertime]

 

My lady is alot better with money than I am. She is a very frugal woman and even makes a good deal of her own clothes herself which is almost unheard of anymore. She loves sewing and has even made me a few things. Also nice to have a woman around that knows the value of money and not trying to drain your wallet all the time.

Good luck FT!

Pivery

Pivs,
Despite the misconceptions of other posters regarding women from S. America being materialistic, my experience has been a polar opposite.  Someday I am going to go on a spending spree for my babe whether she likes it or not, but for now I'll keep it all low key!

Most of the fluff I heard from agencies I thought was bs until I began to experience it in real life.  It was sorta like I was from Missouri (The 'Show Me' State), but now that I have been shown I'm a believer!

After your woman arrives, we will have to hook up for a day at the beach or something!

Fathertime!  

After your woman arrives, we will have to hook up at the beach or something!

[fathertime]

FT, you know what they say... "a family that plays together, stays together." And a family that farts together...... um, I don't know. Time will tell. Good luck. Open a window.

yoyo buddy,

It shows more love when you fully accept all the smells the bodies of your wife and children create!  That being said, I am a swimmer and can still hold my breath for over two minutes!

Fathertime!

[chizz]

Yo Ft!
Sup buddy! I'm thrilled to hear about your marriage, congratulations! You deserve it. I had taken a break from the latina thing for a while to focus on work, but I plan on heading back down the Baq next year. Once again, congrats.
Chizz

[Pivery]

 Ok, so actually the only reason I posted in the first place is I have always wanted to see a thread I was posting on go to the flame room!!!

But seriously, if small problems and disagreements aren't handled right now, they only get bigger and it was probrably only a slight difference of opinion
or cultural faux pas. But also a 'mellowing with age' plays a role in this marriage thing we are all striving for. I know even 10 years ago back in my bad-ass days,
my patience level was almost nil and I would blow my stack over anything. But with increasing gray hairs and a body that doesn't move quite it did
10 years ago, I have become a much more mature and understanding man for my lady. We are also both very stubborn at times, so that played a small role in some early
squabbles. Nice to hear your lady is becoming better acclimated here in the states. Calling home and occasional visits back to the old country will help keep
her happy and not feeling like she has left her other family behind for good.

I think for me personally it is taking a second marriage to sort of figure out what I did wrong in the first one, and be a better husband
(friend, lover, shoulder to cry on, etc.) for my new lady. I feel very fortunate every day to have such a caliber of woman and I know that you and all
the rest of the guys here on the forum that have one should feel lucky as well. We may not all agree around here, and sometimes our civility toward other
board members goes out the window, but we should all remember why we are here which I think that we forget sometimes. To marry a woman of our dreams whichever
country she is from, taking care of her and helping out the next guy asking for help or our advice.

Let's have our ladies cook us up a whole picnic table full o' food soon!

Pivery 

[bcc_1_2]

most of us (if we sign up for a couple lessons) can learn how to dance well enough to get by (aka not make an ass of ourselves). i've never understood why so many guys shy away from it or just put it on their unwilling to do/learn list.

especially if you are going to latin america... just learn a little to get you by. if you are that worried about it buy the girl a few drinks first and she'll think you are 10 times better than you really are. it doesn't sound like that big of a deal... but if you will get out there once or twice that's all you got to do.

[fathertime]

  Calling home and occasional visits back to the old country will help keep
her happy and not feeling like she has left her other family behind for good.
Pivery 

I agree with most everything on your post. 
Surprisingly when my lady does talk to her entire family is when she falls into a rut afterwords.  Her family has been great, and extremely supportive of us, but I guess when she talks to her mother, grandmother, sister & baby niece, she just loses it because that was all she ever knew.  It usually takes the rest of the day and into the next for her to recover.  Sometime in 2010 I want her to have the opportunity to go back to Barranquilla and spend time there with her family, perhaps I'll work into a vacation for myself too a week or two after she has had time to visit with her family. 

Now on to much more important subjects Pivery.  What happened to that legendary avatar of yours! Linus is just not the same as that other character!


Fathertime!

[fathertime]

most of us (if we sign up for a couple lessons) can learn how to dance well enough to get by (aka not make an ass of ourselves). i've never understood why so many guys shy away from it or just put it on their unwilling to do/learn list.

especially if you are going to latin america... just learn a little to get you by. if you are that worried about it buy the girl a few drinks first and she'll think you are 10 times better than you really are. it doesn't sound like that big of a deal... but if you will get out there once or twice that's all you got to do.

I hear ya bCc,
Being completely uninterested in dancing is just something that I’ve learned to accept. When I was much younger I enrolled in a dance class and made an ass of myself each week.   Now there have been some times in my life where I’ve absolutely had to dance and I muddle through those a 5 or 10 minute slow dance. 

  I imagine I could go see a psychologist or get hypnotized but that is likely about what it would take for me to not have to fake it.   I’m just simply not a dancer! 

My woman and I have danced a bit around the house.  We are just being silly and I'm pretty good at that, but that is not something to do publicly.  I think she can see what she is working with and is leaving well enough alone.  I'm a pretty willing cook so I'm hoping that compensates!

Fathertime!

[fathertime]

Yo Ft!
Sup buddy! I'm thrilled to hear about your marriage, congratulations! You deserve it. I had taken a break from the latina thing for a while to focus on work, but I plan on heading back down the Baq next year. Once again, congrats.
Chizz

Chizz!

You have really disappeared for a while now.  It is good to hear you are going to give Baq another whirl.  The whole process can be so damn exciting, I sort of miss the anticipation of those trips, but alas I've got what I wanted out of it all. 
Good hearing from ya again,

Fathertime!

[Pivery]

 An interesting observation FT. I always thought it would be NOT hearing from family that would trigger the loneliness / distance factor
in the ladies that end up making the swim over from (fill in country here).
I'm not imagining I will encounter too much of that at the Pivery compound as my lady isn't very close anymore to her mother, her
father has been out of the picture for some time and her brothers and sisters have families of their own and are working like 8 jobs
per day, so not a whole lot of time for them to be worrying about her!

I have also been very lucky in the year plus time with my lady as she has never once asked to dance with me. A slow dance with her
I have semi-successfully pulled off, but I would probrably miss the cut on 'Dancing With The Stars' I would end up looking like I'm
having convulsions at a club, so luckily cuttin' a rug isn't anything she is interested (Whew!)

And yes, I decided after a bad coin flip to change my avatar back after your complaints. Can't please anyone around here it seems...
Hey what happened to you getting me into the flame room. I have a reputation to uphold too you know!

Peace/out

Pivery

[raycjs]

FT

I am happy to here all is well as you travel on the roller coaster we call life and Marrage(jajajajaja).FT if you start the paper work within 3 months or so you can have a travel visa for you women so she can go back home for a vacation . I think if you just show her you are starting the paperwork this will make her fell very comfortable and giver her something to look forward to. This will show her you care about her feeling (you know what happens when you show her you care!!!!!!!) time for the kid to go out and play.....Jajajajaja..... Pivery as far as getting this post in to the flame room all you have to do is light the fuse between FT & Researcher.....Oh ya i forgot do not forget to throw sean in the mix....(jajajajaja)
Now why would you want that.... Are you that Borded........

Once again Ft best of luck to you and your family...


Ray

[JR33]

  Hey guys don't forget about Jamie,or is it Flamie?, that guy has more threads in the flameroom than anybody.Ft gets excited when you bring up his failed campaign on another forum.


   

[Pivery]

 Hey there Ray,

Not being serious about the flame room, just having a bit of fun with ol' Fathertime. Don't need to get everyone's feathers ruffled out of place over a joke!

It really is counter-productive to have every post to go that route and we don't need everyone to come out with their torches.
It's actually nice to have a warm fuzzy post occasionally about a real situation about a board member. The real reason that we are here, to gain knowledge
and try to help fellow members stay away from the same landmines that others have stepped on...

Peace for the holidays,

Pivery

[fathertime]

    Hey guys don't forget about Jamie,or is it Flamie?, that guy has more threads in the flameroom than anybody. Ft gets excited when you bring up his failed campaign on another forum.

I don't know much about you except what you have written about your unsuccessful  overseas adventures while looking for a wife,  and that you didn't enjoy your experience with Jamie's agency.  What does that have to do with with the report I'm giving about the good experience I'm having with my wife?  I must say I do appreciate the fact that a reputable agency such as International Introductions enabled me to meet such a wonderful lady.

Fathertime!

[fathertime]

An interesting observation FT. I always thought it would be NOT hearing from family that would trigger the loneliness / distance factor
in the ladies that end up making the swim over from (fill in country here).
I'm not imagining I will encounter too much of that at the Pivery compound as my lady isn't very close anymore to her mother, her
father has been out of the picture for some time and her brothers and sisters have families of their own and are working like 8 jobs
per day, so not a whole lot of time for them to be worrying about her!

Hey Pivery!

Yeah I was a little surprised that the distance factor was triggered by actually seeing her whole family on the webcam.  I am just grateful that my lady thinks enough of me, to stay here with us, despite missing her little clan in Barranquilla.  I can sense that it has been getting better for her though.  I'm incredibly lucky my children are so accepting and are lovable little piglets, I think that has really helped her feel wanted/needed. So all in all, sometimes children are not baggage in these situations, they can actually be of assistance in the adaptation process...at least that is how I see it.

Fathertime!

[fathertime]

FT

I am happy to here all is well as you travel on the roller coaster we call life and Marrage(jajajajaja).FT if you start the paper work within 3 months or so you can have a travel visa for you women so she can go back home for a vacation . I think if you just show her you are starting the paperwork this will make her fell very comfortable and giver her something to look forward to. This will show her you care about her feeling (you know what happens when you show her you care!!!!!!!) time for the kid to go out and play.....Jajajajaja..... Pivery as far as getting this post in to the flame room all you have to do is light the fuse between FT & Researcher.....Oh ya i forgot do not forget to throw sean in the mix....(jajajajaja)
Now why would you want that.... Are you that Borded........

Once again Ft best of luck to you and your family...
Ray

yoyo ray!

lol...I do like to debate people on occasion!

Thanks for the well wishes, I've had more luck than I deserve, but I'll take it! 

Fathertime!

[JR33]

I don't know much about you except what you have written about your unsuccessful  overseas adventures while looking for a wife,  and that you didn't enjoy your experience with Jamie's agency.  What does that have to do with with the report I'm giving about the good experience I'm having with my wife?  I must say I do appreciate the fact that a reputable agency such as International Introductions enabled me to meet such a wonderful lady.

Fathertime!

    The only place I was unsuccessful was at Jamies,as other guys have been.I have been successful at other places.

[Researcher]

FT

I am happy to here all is well as you travel on the roller coaster we call life and Marrage(jajajajaja).FT if you start the paper work within 3 months or so you can have a travel visa for you women so she can go back home for a vacation . I think if you just show her you are starting the paperwork this will make her fell very comfortable and giver her something to look forward to. This will show her you care about her feeling (you know what happens when you show her you care!!!!!!!) time for the kid to go out and play.....Jajajajaja..... Pivery as far as getting this post in to the flame room all you have to do is light the fuse between FT & Researcher.....Oh ya i forgot do not forget to throw sean in the mix....(jajajajaja)
Now why would you want that.... Are you that Borded........

Once again Ft best of luck to you and your family...


Ray

     Hey Ray don't encourage Pivery like that.I am trying to remain civil and not fan the flames any further...but it's not easy.   hehehe

[raycjs]

Well i am glad to see that you all could read what i wrote and take it as a joke.... I knew deep down inside you guys could all just get along......(jajajajajaja)

FT.. i am truly happy for you and your family....

Pivery... I got you back buddy.... I also agree with you why we are all here....

Researcher...... Remaining Civil "that's a good thing" (jajajajaja)

keep the posts heading in the right direction......

Ray

[Dan Las Vegas]

    The only place I was unsuccessful was at Jamies,as other guys have been.I have been successful at other places.

What is your definition of success?? 

[Alabamaboy!]

I have had great success at Jamie's place.

[robert angel]

I can kind of tell how happy or sad--upset my wife is by how much she calls home. When she's calling home just about every night (very rare for her) something's bothering her. Usually, she calls home once a week or so. Either way, I don't make a big deal out her calling home, except after a phone call gets really long--say half an hour or so. Then I just look at her nicely, raising my eye brows a bit and tap my wristwatch. She takes that pretty coolly and usually wraps it up shortly thereafter. She never calls homefor purely frivolous purposes and the bond stays strong.

[Alabamaboy!]

I don't think I will have any problem if my wife calls home for an hour or so every day. Especially if I have unlimited calling with Vonage or something like that. Why can't she call home for "frivolous" reasons Robert? Are you thinking that will lessen her "homesickness"? Or just the cost of the long calls?