filipinaheart

[crashfirepm53]

I just upgraded my membership and literally the messages were flying in from women.

[piglett]

FH is where i found my girl too
I remember the 1st day.......i bet i got 20 or 30 messages

[thekfc]

I found the current one (s) that I am chatting with there too.
I was first on filipinamatch but didn't have any success there - I didn't feel 'comfortable" on FM so I went to FH and started receiving messages from day one.

[piglett]

I found my share of scammers there too but most were eazy to spot


piglett

[crashfirepm53]

Ihave had a few scammers so far. Here are the rules I operate under to protect myself.
1.They have to have a pic posted or no talky talky.
2. I stay away from girls who have a lot or only the "model" pics. If a woman lives in a country with low salaries and high unemployment, I doubt they could afford glamour shots.Also, those pics tend to make them look better than they normally do.I want to see real pics not glamour shots.
3.I have been asked a few times to go to Yahoo I'm to chat due to a poor connection supposedly. I think this allows them to manage multiple chats much easier.
4. If they do not reply fast enough while chatting, they are multi chatting for sure.
I had one woman who was pretty smooth but came on way too strong. Nursing student but couldn't afford her board exam in 2 weeks. I told her that was too soon and she should study but she was top of her class. Being a Paramedic, I started asking her about medicines, and drug dose calculations. Long time to answer and she gave classic text book definitions even including the proper pronunciation. What a joke.
I hit it off really good with one woman and we just clicked together. I asked her if she had any kids which her profile said no. She said she needed to come clean and she had one.I told her she shouldn't have lied like I wouldn't find out anyways but that unfortuantly one lie makes her a liar and I couldn't trust her. Sorry.

I did meet one very nice 25 y/o single, no kids, works and lives at home. Very pretty but not super glamorous. Tall at 5'7'' thin. Lives in Cebu in a modest but poor lifestyle as expected. Her english is very good, and seems to have a great look on life. She's not in a hurry to be married so she is looking hard. We really hit it off and our chats were very good. She was very interested in my children and did not ask any questions about where I live or what I drive, nothing financial. I sent her pics and she sent me a bunch of very honest and real pics.....plus 2 or 3 sexy ones but mostly clothed.
I m not gonna pursue any others now and see where this goes. Having to choose between 2 or more would be hard for me. I d rather concentrate on one and. If it feels good continue and if not, drop it and move on.

[piglett]

4. If they do not reply fast enough while chatting, they are multi chatting for sure.

not true i was chatting with 1 lady on FH & she lived on a small island, the only internet was dial-up so her responses took a little longer. 

1.They have to have a pic posted or no talky talky.

the lady that i have been chatting with had no picture at first
some ladies do this to weed out the low life guys ......or so i have been told by them.

here's a picture of my girl who had no picture on her new FH account
do you think i should through her back?

[crashfirepm53]

I guess I should elaborate a bit. This one girl wanted me to leave FH and go to Yahoo IM because she had a connection issue. Well that won't fix it. I think she just wanted to manage multiple guys at once.

As far as the girl, she is cute but not the look that I'm going for.We all have our tastes. Personally though, I'm not gonna waste my time talking to someone without a pic.Thats like spinning your wheels in the mud. One girl had pics on Yahoo IM but not FH? She gave a lame answer. If you can put them on one then you can put them on the other.

[thekfc]

Piglett, do you have a matching pink pants & top?  just kidding.

My girl too didn't have a pic up on FH. One of the first thing she ask me was "do I have a cam". She too wanted to put a face to the person that she was chatting with. Now we chat on both YM & Skype. I also casually chat with 2 of her sisters as well as her nieces & nephews.

At first I was skeptic because she work in a cafe (her sister owns it) & I thought that she would have a lot of "chat mates" but that turn out not to be case - she was avoiding / weeding out the people who contacted her. It took us a little while before we "click".

As for the "slow" reply - for my girl it was a connection issue.
Multi chatting do happen, my girl have told me she see it often & actually showed me (focus her cam on) a lady who was doing it. 

[piglett]

I guess I should elaborate a bit. This one girl wanted me to leave FH and go to Yahoo IM because she had a connection issue. Well that won't fix it. I think she just wanted to manage multiple guys at once.

some of those ladies that want you to go on YM want to either ask you for money or will offer to give you quite a show on cam. this was not at all what i was looking for & as soon as i caught wind of there true intentions i ended the chat session

As far as the girl, she is cute but not the look that I'm going for.We all have our tastes. Personally though, I'm not gonna waste my time talking to someone without a pic.Thats like spinning your wheels in the mud. One girl had pics on Yahoo IM but not FH? She gave a lame answer. If you can put them on one then you can put them on the other.

I thought i knew exactly what i wanted too, but when i started to chat with some of them i realised that they were not for me. 1 lady was a really nice looking girl but, she misunderstood many of the things that i said.
I was really into her but in time i saw that the relationship was doomed.
I think that the most important thing is to get a lady that understands you & the way you think,act....ect,ect.


piglett

[piglett]

Piglett, do you have a matching pink pants & top?  just kidding.

No KFC i have as of yet been unable to find those exact shorts in my size 

[crashfirepm53]

Well so far the woman that I continue to chat with the conversation and feel is going very well on both ends. She is younger than I ever planned(23) I'm (38), but she does appear very focused on what she is looking for and her desire to be married and taking care of our family. She has sent me plenty of pics, nothing sexual but sexy.

I've had plenty younger try to convince me that 19 is good for me but I don't think so. The girl that I'm talking too is also tall at 5'6'' and since i'm 6'6'', that is a plus.

She hasn't asked me for anything in the past 2 weeks or even implied that she wanted a handout. I did send her $30.00 for internet that I offered her.She didn't want to accept but I insisted and she never asked how much that I was going to send her which I think says alot. My goal is to visit by June 2010 if things continue so positively.

Question. Should I set her up to test her? She says that I am the only guy that she has chatted wiuth that is sincere and she thinks of highly. Could be a line but???
 

[jm21-2]

2 weeks is a little too early to tell anything, and why plan on waiting until June? Insisting on sending a girl money will probably cause problems too...

[crashfirepm53]

Well June gives us plenty of time to get to know each other. I'm also fairly new at my current job so I want to earn a little more leave time so I don't use it all on a trip and not have any when I get back.
Realistically, I'm hoping for April to visit. She is fine with this timeline and says she isn't in a hurry to marry but would definantly marry the right guy. She has listed herself taken on Filipinaheart but I'm sure some will still contact her.
As I read here, the girls do seem to fall fast for you and stake claim of you as boyfriend pretty quick. Not like here in the US where dating may take years before marriage. There it seems a couple of months either they are in love or not.
She is in Manilla with her dad now for work. She just got a job doing Customer Service for Experian Credit. Her use/typing of the english language is excellent, very few mispellings and I assume she speaks it very well also.She doesn't get some of the slang or things I might say(like getting to 1st base lol), but that is american stuff.

So far I'm pretty happy with just talking to her and I can see a future with her going pretty well. Her attitude is always positive and friendly loves the pics of my children and wants to take care of them, is ok with not having children of her own and when I try to point out that most women want children and is she sure she is ok with it, she says my children will make her happy and doesn't want me to mention it again. She made her choice and it's her decision.At 5'6'' and 115lbs she built very nicely foir a Filipina, taller than most and not built like a stick.

i don't see where me insesting she take the $30.00 really matters. She was thankful for it,didn't ask for it and didn't pick it up ASAP(not sure if she has yet).

There are scammers on there but they seem pretty obvious to me. If they're goal is money, they don't waste time with someone and seem to move pretty fast.
We'll see what happens.

[Ray]

Well so far the woman that I continue to chat with the conversation and feel is going very well on both ends. She is younger than I ever planned(23) I'm (38), but she does appear very focused on what she is looking for and her desire to be married and taking care of our family. She has sent me plenty of pics, nothing sexual but sexy.

I've had plenty younger try to convince me that 19 is good for me but I don't think so. The girl that I'm talking too is also tall at 5'6'' and since i'm 6'6'', that is a plus.

She hasn't asked me for anything in the past 2 weeks or even implied that she wanted a handout. I did send her $30.00 for internet that I offered her.She didn't want to accept but I insisted and she never asked how much that I was going to send her which I think says alot. My goal is to visit by June 2010 if things continue so positively.

Question. Should I set her up to test her? She says that I am the only guy that she has chatted wiuth that is sincere and she thinks of highly. Could be a line but???
 

She hasn’t asked for money in the last two weeks or you have only been chatting for two weeks? If the latter, then why are you already discussing marriage?

Set her up and test her for what?? Because you sent her $30, that gives you the right to “set her up”? I don’t get it.

I would forget about the ‘tests’ and ‘setting her up’, and keep your money in your wallet.

Ray

[Dave H]

Set her up and test her for what?? Because you sent her $30, that gives you the right to “set her up”? I don’t get it.

I would forget about the ‘tests’ and ‘setting her up’, and keep your money in your wallet.

Ray

Now hold on a second Ray!

He could always send me $500 (plus transportation, food, and lodging) to "check her out" and give my opinion. I figure maybe I should get into the business since that is what so many of the other expats here in the Philippines seem to be doing...along with other ways of ripping off their fellow countrymen. Anyone want me to deliver a pizza or  Big Mac for $200 (plus food cost, my transportation, food, and lodging)? A 36 incher will cost extra since I will need an extra guy to help carry it.

Dave

It took me 3 days to eat that mother!

[Bear]

My wife watched a show on 24 Oras where it claimed that the #1 job opportunity in Misame Oriental and/or Osamiz(?) areas for a Filipina (Cebuana speaking - not the Tagalog speaking), right now, is chatting online and showing men their nude bodies for money. There was quite a ruckus for a woman who earn a living for her "live-in" husband and left him for a foreigner but since he hadn't married her there was nothing to keep her with him.  I think if I was hunting for a lady right now not only the money issue but one offering to sell a peek would be a big warning.  Anyone getting that sort of requests?

The Bear Family

[crashfirepm53]

She hasn’t asked for money in the last two weeks or you have only been chatting for two weeks? If the latter, then why are you already discussing marriage?

Set her up and test her for what?? Because you sent her $30, that gives you the right to “set her up”? I don’t get it.

I would forget about the ‘tests’ and ‘setting her up’, and keep your money in your wallet.

Ray

Wow Ray, chill out!!
Yes we have been chatting for 2 weeks daily. Don't you think that the topic of marriage would come up eventually in over 50 hours of conversation between 2 people who are on a website designed for relationships? We could talk about the weather more I guess."How is the weather in PH"? Sunny and hot, some rain". "How about in Kansas"? "Sunny , dry and cold."
Repeat every hour.
I'm there looking for a spouse and a good one. If my idea and time frame about marriage when and where, religion and who does what is different from hers, then why waste time and not move on?

Setting her up....
Common topic here. If a woman says she is now only talking to you because she is happy now, why not "test" her and see if she is replying to other guys? Should I wait 6 months maybe the week before I go visit to seek the truth? Sounds kinda dumb to me. Either you figure it out early or you can waste time and figure it out later. 3 years later, you're still trying to find a wife.What right do I have? Every right. She could do the same to me. Why not? I guess we could just go on the honor policy but revert back to the top of this paragraph and thats where you will be.
I'm not in a hurry exactly but I do think that I am a good judge of character but not perfect or I'd work for the FBI.So if I meeting a woman who seems to have her crap together, impresses me and we get along well, whats there to wait for? I'm not a 21 y/o kid. I'm 39, been around the block, done pretty well(except for my choice in my 1st wife) and I'm ready to move on.
Meeting a good woman online in the PH isn't hard. It seems like every woman there is trying to get out of PH. Some aren't legit. They are pretty easy to spot IMHO. I'm not setting her up because I gave her $30.00. Your not that simpleminded i'm sure. I'm simply seeing if she is for real, honest and true to her word.If not, time to move on.

The girl makes $12.00 a day and she is happy about that because it is more than most. $12.00 a day don't get you far for food lodging and incedentals. She hasn't asked for money and said not to worry, she is fine. Now I know thats probally not exactly true but I didn't push the issue. If she gets hungry enough, she will work harder or break down and ask me for money> I don't expect the latter to happen.Ever.

[jm21-2]

$30 is a decent amount to send and it could set up expectations and may lead to you finding a girl who wants your money instead of you. That's like taking a an American girl to a $500 first class restaurant meal for your first date. Personally, I would want money involved as little as possible during the dating process.

[robert angel]

Hey you two--back in your corners--anybody hear the bell? ha ha...

In my humble opinion (IMHO) it doesn't matter if it's $30 or $300, it sets a bad precedent, ESPECIALLY early on in a relationship. I have seen it there, I have seen it here, nothing screws up a relationship, even among family members, than giving or loaning out money.

If ya gotta do something--send small meaningful gifts, something useful as well as something more shall we say--'romantic and sentimental'. Money's just going to cause problems, I have seen again and again

Have I done so with money?? yes, I have given out thousands for all kinds of reasons, loaned others thousands I'll most likely never get back and borrowed tens of thousands to leverage down real estate loans.

Money just ruins so many things--creates weird 'vibes'and festers jealousies.

I think the best thing to do if you can, and I do try, is that if you DO 'loan' money (especially in the RP) or give gifts--try not to "THINK" too much about it--as my wife says. "It's not good to count" deeds and gifts. Sure, here I am discussing it, but I have been in conversations with the 'borrowers' thousands of times and it almost never comes up and if it does, it's them bringing it up, amazingly. They know and I know and that's just 'how it goes'. Especially over there....

Now after you're married--or even really--and I mean to one person--engaged--I find it enjoyable to collect things such as computers, nice clothes, MP3 players and more than I can remember to send back over there, it just feels good to know that they'll appreciate it and share it more than just about anyone I know back here. Our garage and shed is full of 'stuff' that will eventually get 'over there'.

'Testing' the gals I was chatting with? I never did, although some did on me. Not to say it's a bad thing to do--it might even save misery later. I think that 95% or more of the people on site like blossoms and fil heart, et al, are probably chatting or staying in touch with  other 'possible mates' after picking a 'number one choice' in one way or another and to various extents, right up until the time they actually meet 'the one' in PERSON. Anybody who courts another mate after committing in person, is probably pure voo doo. But BEFORE you meet in person---I'm pretty sure that's just 'how it goes' and almost anything 'goes'.

To a lot of people online,  we're all just 'cyber potato chips' that can be eaten, the half full bag thrown away and another bag easily had with no personal disgrace to the 'consumer'--it's not like we have to deal with it at work or school tomorrow...

[thekfc]

It took me 3 days to eat that mother!

Dave, where did you get that pizza from? 
One day down the road, I would like one (or two) of these babies for my girl & her family.

Since my girl is in the Metro manila area, someone told me I should check out Calda Pizza in Mandaluyong City.

[piglett]

Anyone getting that sort of requests?

The Bear Family

I had 1 from FH make me that offer. I just ended the chat session


piglett

[Ray]

Wow Ray, chill out!!
Yes we have been chatting for 2 weeks daily. Don't you think that the topic of marriage would come up eventually in over 50 hours of conversation between 2 people who are on a website designed for relationships? We could talk about the weather more I guess."How is the weather in PH"? Sunny and hot, some rain". "How about in Kansas"? "Sunny , dry and cold."
Repeat every hour.
I'm there looking for a spouse and a good one. If my idea and time frame about marriage when and where, religion and who does what is different from hers, then why waste time and not move on?

Setting her up....
Common topic here. If a woman says she is now only talking to you because she is happy now, why not "test" her and see if she is replying to other guys? Should I wait 6 months maybe the week before I go visit to seek the truth? Sounds kinda dumb to me. Either you figure it out early or you can waste time and figure it out later. 3 years later, you're still trying to find a wife.What right do I have? Every right. She could do the same to me. Why not? I guess we could just go on the honor policy but revert back to the top of this paragraph and thats where you will be.
I'm not in a hurry exactly but I do think that I am a good judge of character but not perfect or I'd work for the FBI.So if I meeting a woman who seems to have her crap together, impresses me and we get along well, whats there to wait for? I'm not a 21 y/o kid. I'm 39, been around the block, done pretty well(except for my choice in my 1st wife) and I'm ready to move on.
Meeting a good woman online in the PH isn't hard. It seems like every woman there is trying to get out of PH. Some aren't legit. They are pretty easy to spot IMHO. I'm not setting her up because I gave her $30.00. Your not that simpleminded i'm sure. I'm simply seeing if she is for real, honest and true to her word.If not, time to move on.

The girl makes $12.00 a day and she is happy about that because it is more than most. $12.00 a day don't get you far for food lodging and incedentals. She hasn't asked for money and said not to worry, she is fine. Now I know thats probally not exactly true but I didn't push the issue. If she gets hungry enough, she will work harder or break down and ask me for money> I don't expect the latter to happen.Ever.

Now where have I heard this story before?

1. Guy and girl meet on line.

2. Within 2 weeks guy insists on sending her money, even though she says she doesn’t want it.

3. Guy expects her exclusive attention and needs to investigate her personal life or “set her up” to see if she is scamming him.

4. Things don’t work out for whatever reason and then he publicly labels her as a scammer or gold digger.

Why some guys just have to start sending money after 2 weeks is beyond me. And why some guys feel the need to “set her up” or feel that she owes him her exclusive attention after two weeks of chatting is just plain weird IMHO.
 
Once again, keep the money out of the relationship until you have met in person and both are fully committed to marriage. Because you insist on sending money and she accepts it, doesn’t give you exclusive rights to her, does it?

I don’t think chatting on line for 2 weeks is anywhere near long enough to be seriously considering marriage, but that is just my opinion based on my experience. It is always wise to take it slowly and really get to know each other before getting caught up in some fantasy over the Internet.

Note: The advice you get here is not always going to be what you wanted to hear, but there is no need to get defensive about it. You are certainly free to reject any and all advice and opinions and that’s cool with me.

 

Ray

[crashfirepm53]

I don't think I was defensive but maybe I ranted a bit. I appreciate any advice that is offered here. I know that i won't like it all. I'm a grown man and will ultimately make my decisions on my own as everyone here will.I'm here to seek the advice of the ones that have "been there, done that". no need to reinvent the wheel but every situation is a bit different.

Now I guess that when I said that "I insisted" on send here money($30.00) for internet time may not have been the best term to use. Bottom line she didn't ask but said that she was limited on her internet time. I personally felt that If I wanted to talk more often then why shouldn't I anni up a little bit?I'm not sending her cash for stuff or gifts and nor will I.

Do I expect her exclusive attention? Sorta yes but not required and only because she says that she isn't talking or interested in talking to anyone else.Its not about $30.00, come on.It is about her doing as she says she is doing.

I didn't start this thinking that I would meet someone quickly that we would "click" together so well but I did. And I chatted with quite a few for that to happen. Women much better looking, better educated. So my experience isnt about some "fantasy".I feel like she is a genuine and sincere woman. She's pretty but not a "10" and I'm sure I could get that if I wanted to but it's not about just looks to live a fantasy wasting time. It's about meeting a genuine person.

I'm sure there are some guys that have and will meet a girl, chat a couple of times, send money and jump on a plane only to realize that she wasn't as he expected and just wasted some serious cash. We will have chatted and webcammed for at least 6 months before that happens. Funny, someone here the other day asked me "why wait 6 months" the oppisite opinion of many here.

In the end, i'll make my decision. I'm the one that has to live with it but I think that it will be a very informed decision. I read everything here.

[stevjulietb]

Crash, kfc, pig,  personally........no offense intended.....Until you travel....take your time...its ok to chat with as many girls as possible....don't send  money or gifts...when you travel....plan on all plans changing...I had a chatmate when I first went there....sure glad I didn't marry her...Listen to bear, Dave and Ray........they offer great advice......

Steveb

[william3rd]

I don't think I was defensive but maybe I ranted a bit. I appreciate any advice that is offered here. I know that i won't like it all. I'm a grown man and will ultimately make my decisions on my own as everyone here will.I'm here to seek the advice of the ones that have "been there, done that". no need to reinvent the wheel but every situation is a bit different.

In the end, i'll make my decision. I'm the one that has to live with it but I think that it will be a very informed decision. I read everything here.

Unfortunately I do not believe you have changed much in the last two years here. You may read but you have difficulties in listening to what advice is presented to you. A review of the Fil china colombia thread you began  is illustrative. It is very clear that there is no interest in the culture or society of the woman, apparently just her ass will do.

And after all the talk, you are looking for a Fil? You may well just crash and burn and if you do, you are right, it will be your decision.

You are probably one of the guys I would send off to Patpong for some seasoning but what the hey- good hunting to you anyway.