Filipinas & Sex

[themaster]

I read on another Filipina site many want to wait for marriage.. is this pretty much true for most of the country?

Or is it because they basically run a mail order bride industry.. (the web cafes with webcams) that, that's more of a excuse to get married?

I guess I kind of find this mentality very backward.. who would really want to spend the rest of their life with someone (marriage) and leave even that option unexplored?

[Ray]

[jm21-2]

Is this a real question, or just a troll?

There are plenty of guys and girls who want to share that most intimate of acts with just one person, their life partner. Here in America as well.

[piglett]

I would bet good money that we have a creature that lives under a bridge like structure

[Bob_S]

I read on another Filipina site many want to wait for marriage..
I guess I kind of find this mentality very backward.. who would really want to spend the rest of their life with someone (marriage) and leave even that option unexplored?

The very fact that you'd ask such a question shows that an Asian wife really isn't for you.  You'd probably be happier with Moscow girls who are more cosmopolitan sophisticated and understanding of your world view.  Yep, Asia is not your match.

[jm21-2]

Bob S,

Correct me if I am wrong, but I had always heard there are quite a few women, even in the PI, who have enlightened views about sex. I understand there are certain bars, often favored by foreigners who also have enlightened views about sex, where one can have a good time with such girls for a minor fee.

[Bob_S]

Correct me if I am wrong, but I had always heard there are quite a few women, even in the PI, who have enlightened views about sex. I understand there are certain bars, often favored by foreigners who also have enlightened views about sex, where one can have a good time with such girls for a minor fee.

Good point.  I stand corrected.  Yes, even in Asia, there are certain places where one might find, ahem, ladies (some of them with actual XX chromosomes) that have a sophisticated entrepreneurial approach to sex.

[Dave H]

I guess I kind of find this mentality very backward.. who would really want to spend the rest of their life with someone (marriage) and leave even that option unexplored?

Think progressive master! I have found you a place where the Filipino "ladies" might even do you!  http://images.google.com.ph/imgres?imgurl=http://cache.daylife.com/imageserve/0cMqffvdSI17X/610x.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.daylife.com/photo/0cMqffvdSI17X&usg=__NLotRnzBeBvR7bQKgPrtm_9SaCs=&h=450&w=610&sz=91&hl=en&start=3&tbnid=jhbqyM2r6QRBYM:&tbnh=100&tbnw=136&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dfilipino%2Bgays%26gbv%3D2%26hl%3Den%26safe%3Doff%26sa%3DG

[themaster]

Trolling I'm not.. truth I be looking for

I think I've loosened up a bit about the sexual question but I still find it a bit backwards.. all these ladies want to get married/find mr. right, right?? they won't have sex with any potential guys and in the Philippines where the market it seems to favor men (which is why were talking about it here right? and I think that hold back.. is why they won't find mr. right potentially.. I just find it very limiting..

Good news is I found some more "open" minded Filipina's to talk to.. not all are backwards

I mean I imagine 70%-90% of these girls who say they won't have sex without marriage.. are the gold diggers type mostly.. as I highly doubt there all virgins!

Thanks for the suggestion Bob.. but let me ask you.. moscow girls won't speak english.. yes? And getting to know them etc. is probably 70% more difficult then Filipinas yes? Also I would expect there would be more voluptuous types there.. yes?


Let me go on to say why I think marriage for sex is a backwards idea.. the idea is if you're going to spend the rest of your life with someone.. you might want to like them for more than just your horniness.. one reason why so many American marriages from the 60's, 70's and 80's are total failures.. is that very idea that the couple was just horny teenagers wanting to give it a go.. I find it far more educated, smart and true to leave all cards on the table before proposing marriage.. but somehow woman are afraid they won't get the guy and so they play a power game (cause they fill inferior to men or powerless) in the idea they'll hold back sex

This is my opinion on why the idea of sex before marriage is very backwards or at least very limited

Maybe since this is a mail order bride forum.. all of you are just used to these games as being part of the "mail order bride" package..

[Ray]

Trolling I'm not.. truth I be looking for

I think I've loosened up a bit about the sexual question but I still find it a bit backwards.. all these ladies want to get married/find mr. right?? they won't have sex with any potential guys and in the Philippines where the market it seems to favor men (which is why were talking about it here right? and I think that hold back.. is why they won't find mr. right potentially.. I just find it very limiting..

Good news is I found some more "open" minded Filipina's to talk to.. not all are backwards

I mean I imagine 70%-90% of these girls who say they won't have sex without marriage.. are the gold diggers type mostly.. as I highly doubt there all virgins!
Thanks for the suggestion Bob.. but let me ask you.. moscow girls won't speak english.. yes? And getting to know them etc. is probably 70% more difficult then Filipinas yes? Also I would expect there would be more voluptuous types there.. yes?


Let me go on to say why I think marriage for sex is a backwards idea.. the idea is if you're going to spend the rest of your life with someone.. you might want to like them for more than just your horniness.. one reason why so many American marriages from the 60's, 70's and 80's are total failures.. is that very idea that the couple was just horny teenagers wanting to give it a go.. I find it far more educated, smart and true to leave all cards on the table before proposing marriage.. but somehow woman are afraid they won't get the guy and so they play a power game (cause they fill inferior to men or powerless) in the idea they'll hold back sex
This is my opinion on why the idea of sex before marriage is very backwards or at least very limited

Maybe since this is a mail order bride forum.. all of you are just used to these games as being part of the "mail order bride" package..

Looking for the truth?? I don’t think so.

You’re making a lot of assumptions about Filipina women based on your ignorance. Some of your “opinions” are insulting to the men on this forum and to the Filipina ladies that you obviously know little or nothing about.

For your information, traditional Filipinas are mostly religious and their faith has much to do with their views on premarital sex. It has nothing to do with any “power game”.

Many of the men on this forum, including myself, married Filipina ladies without having pre-marital sex. For you to proclaim that our wives were “backwards”, close-minded, or “gold diggers” is just plain insulting.

Mr. Master, may I suggest that you stop trying to impress us with your “knowledge” of Filipina women and instead ask questions, listen, and learn.

Also, it is customary for new members to make a short post introducing themselves in the Introduction section of the forum. Care to try a fresh start and be welcomed to the forum?

Ray

[themaster]

Looking for the truth?? I don’t think so.

I asked my question.. I didn't exactly here too much of a answer from anyone currently sampling or dating current Filipina woman.. but I appreciate some of the answers given

You’re making a lot of assumptions about Filipina women based on your ignorance. Some of your “opinions” are insulting to the men on this forum and to the Filipina ladies that you obviously know little or nothing about

My assumptions are based on available information.. they are not based on my soon to be current experiences/observations..

Well, if your insulted that is your business.. I don't believe I have made any derogatory remarks.. but I certainly have seen some negative responses.. if it helps.. no offense was meant

For your information, traditional Filipinas are mostly religious and their faith has much to do with their views on premarital sex. It has nothing to do with any “power game”.

Religion or "power game" are both limitations from that description.. not something I like much.. which is why even in a area of much ripened fruit, the choices get smaller

Also, it is customary for new members to make a short post introducing themselves in the Introduction section of the forum. Care to try a fresh start and be welcomed to the forum?

I'm not so sure given the hostility of these posts I would care to be a part of your community..

[crashfirepm53]

Think progressive master! I have found you a place where the Filipino "ladies" might even do you!   http://images.google.com....Den%26safe%3Doff%26sa%3DG

Please tell me that not all of them were lady boys??? Please.

[michaelb]

Risking drawing down the wrath of any (or several) feminists waiting to pounce on me with strong statements to the effect of "They are not objects, and they certainly are not 'property'", I'll take a stab a divining a pragmatic reason they won't 'give it up' before marriage. They don't want to get a reputation as 'used merchandise' or 'damaged goods'. Sure, you'd like free samples, but the guys likely to actually marry them don't want the 'demo' model and they're (for the most part) smart enough to have figured this out. Now my pointing out this pragmatic reason in no way diminishes the religious and moral reasons, but I think instead it enhances and reinforces them.   

[Jeff S]

I guess I don't understand the question. Are you saying that if a girl wants you, she'd better put out because you need to try before you buy? ...or are you wondering why Filipinas don't use sex as a lure to catch you?

If the former, maybe they don't want you if that's what you're all about. Maybe they want to fine a personality, temperament, and spiritual fit for them and they'll worry about sexual compatibility later.

If the latter, I know this may be tough to accept, but there are actually men out there who'll claim that they want to get married just to get into a woman's pants, and will dump them for someone else also trying to lure them in, when the man tires of them, leaving the girl feeling used, abused, or maybe worse yet, diseased or pregnant - making them even less desirable to nice guys. Women using sex to find love has a nasty habit of backfiring on them, as does men using love to get sex.

Believe it or not, every nasty slut started out as a virgin, so great sex is a learned skill, not an innate one. It's not any more difficult, and a lot safer, teaching a virgin what you like than it is sampling all over searching for someone who just so happens to know exactly what you like. Then if you accidentally find someone with those exact skills, what happens if she's a lunatic otherwise? Truth is, most virgins are willing to learn.

[jm21-2]

The reason so many of those marriages failed was because the people involved were indeed horny teenagers. It has nothing to do with them being virgins or not virgins. It has to do with them being dumb ass teenagers with raging hormones. There's a reason the divorce rate for those married in their teens is astronomical compared to those who marry at 25+ years old. Teens are still just kids and don't really even know who they are yet.

FYI, marriages where the bride was a virgin have a lower divorce rate.

That being said, you will find that many of the girls are not virgins, if that's something that's important to you. If you're worried about religion, you may want to reconsider Filipinas. A lot of girls will act like they're virgins at first, but that doesn't necessarily mean they are.

[Bob_S]

moscow girls won't speak english.. yes? And getting to know them etc. is probably 70% more difficult then Filipinas yes? Also I would expect there would be more voluptuous types there.. yes?

Yes, er, no. Um, what?  Look, not all Russian girls speak English, but many many do.  They study English in school, so you will easily find cute curvy girls with sexy accents.  And for a variety of social reasons, you will find them generally more accommodating than conservative Catholic Fillipinas.

Let me go on to say why I think marriage for sex is a backwards idea..

Yes, but that's not what you started with.  Maybe we just all misunderstood, but you implied that waiting until marriage for sex was backwards.  That is a very different idea than getting married just for the sex.

one reason why so many American marriages from the 60's, 70's and 80's are total failures..

Nooooo.  Marriages fail for all kinds of reasons.  Statistics do show that marrying too young does increase the chance of divorce, but so does sexual promiscuity prior to marriage.

I mean I imagine 70%-90% of these girls who say they won't have sex without marriage.. are the gold diggers type mostly.. as I highly doubt there all virgins!

You don't see how this is insulting?  You just implied that a lot of these men who married less sexually-experienced women are married to worthless gold diggers.  Are you that socially tone-deaf?

They don't want to get a reputation as 'used merchandise' or 'damaged goods'. Sure, you'd like free samples, but the guys likely to actually marry them don't want the 'demo' model and they're (for the most part) smart enough to have figured this out. Now my pointing out this pragmatic reason in no way diminishes the religious and moral reasons, but I think instead it enhances and reinforces them.

Bingo.  Beyond religion, there are still biological and psycho-sociological reasons why many men (dare I say most men around the world) still prefer to marry a virgin.  The arguments are all in the archives and don't bear repeating here (but they probably will because we love a meaningless fight).

[robert angel]

I really think 'the master'? would be happiest in Moscow, Bangkok or possibly Angeles City. I've never been to those places personally, but know plenty of guys who have and he could take 'demos' there for as many test drives as he likes, until his money and or health gives out anyway. Who knows? He might even find the perfect girl for his needs.

And I thought the oddest thing I'd seen here was atheists looking for a Filipina bride. I NEVER say "I've seen it all" anymore----Geeze......

[piglett]

I'm not so sure given the hostility of these posts I would care to be a part of your community..

good hit the bricks then
don't let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya 


piglett

[jm21-2]

No need to be quite so hard on the guy. Although he certainly could have phrased many things he's said in less offensive ways, his view is a pretty common one. It's not like he's completely off his rockers. I did joke a bit at the beginning thinking he was a troll, but he sounds a bit more genuine now.

I can only speak for China, and then only a bit, but the situation regarding sex before marriage is not all that different there form what it is here, and I think many/most of the Chinese girls I've met looking for foreign husbands were on the more modern/western side of the equation. The added twist is that they don't date nearly as many guys, and there is often an expectation on the girls' part that you will end up marrying the person you are dating. This can be very confusing to western guys. Basically some/many girls will have the expectation you will marry her from very early on (within maybe 1-3 dates), while western guys tend to think you go on a few dates and then make a decision as to whether even seriously date them or not, much less marry them. OTOH, they will want to get to know you more before dating (there is not the huge divide between guy friends and boyfriends there).

I imagine in some of the larger cities you can find Filipinas who think in a more western way but are still decent girls. However, it sounds like you may have problems with religion, which throws another stick in the spokes. And also possibly some problems with commitment, which would be a total road block.

Keep in mind that they are living in a culture where sex is often pretty bad for the girl, and a promiscuous girl will have a very hard time marrying (especially if she was promiscuous with a foreigner) so they have a very different outlook. While you want to make sure you're compatible sexually, she's thinking you're going to ride her for six seconds and then ditch her, ruining her chances of finding a decent guy. You've got to start thinking from their perspective and bear in mind that Asian cultures are totally different from western cultures.

[piglett]

No need to be quite so hard on the guy. Although he certainly could have phrased many things he's said in less offensive ways

I guess opinions very

I am only showing him the same amount of respect that he has showed many of the members here


piglett

[Ray]

My assumptions are based on available information.. they are not based on my soon to be current experiences/observations..
 

Soon to be current experiences?? I guess that’s just another way of confirming my statement that your assumptions are indeed based on ignorance.

Religion or "power game" are both limitations from that description.. not something I like much..

Like another member told you, if you dislike religion and/or religious ladies, then you will have a harder time finding a compatible woman in the Philippines, unless you go to the few sex-tourist spots. Around 85% of Filipinos are Catholic, or at least in name they are, and the great majority of the rest belong to other organized religions. Have you considered looking in a more atheistic or non-religious society?

I'm not so sure given the hostility of these posts I would care to be a part of your community..

When a new poster shows up with a handle like “themaster”, doesn’t introduce himself, calls our wives and girlfriends “backwards” because they don’t prescribe to his moral values (or the lack thereof), is it really any wonder that he is met with a degree of suspicion?

Ray

[themaster]

Yes, er, no. Um, what?  Look, not all Russian girls speak English, but many many do.  They study English in school, so you will easily find cute curvy girls with sexy accents.  And for a variety of social reasons, you will find them generally more accommodating than conservative Catholic Fillipinas.

What is the region to look for.. I think I saw a lot of them were from Ukraine?

Any free sites you care to share.. or are the pay sites the best for browsing? (I've seen a few of the letter translation ones)

Yes, but that's not what you started with.  Maybe we just all misunderstood, but you implied that waiting until marriage for sex was backwards.  That is a very different idea than getting married just for the sex.

To state it clearly.. it is likely backwards for me.. but you all are free to choose and do as you like..

No need to be quite so hard on the guy. Although he certainly could have phrased many things he's said in less offensive ways, his view is a pretty common one. It's not like he's completely off his rockers. I did joke a bit at the beginning thinking he was a troll, but he sounds a bit more genuine now.

I can only speak for China, and then only a bit, but the situation regarding sex before marriage is not all that different there form what it is here, and I think many/most of the Chinese girls I've met looking for foreign husbands were on the more modern/western side of the equation. The added twist is that they don't date nearly as many guys, and there is often an expectation on the girls' part that you will end up marrying the person you are dating. This can be very confusing to western guys. Basically some/many girls will have the expectation you will marry her from very early on (within maybe 1-3 dates), while western guys tend to think you go on a few dates and then make a decision as to whether even seriously date them or not, much less marry them. OTOH, they will want to get to know you more before dating (there is not the huge divide between guy friends and boyfriends there).

I imagine in some of the larger cities you can find Filipinas who think in a more western way but are still decent girls. However, it sounds like you may have problems with religion, which throws another stick in the spokes. And also possibly some problems with commitment, which would be a total road block.

Thanks I very much appreciate your information

I also liked your chinese dating review from the other thread.. I tried to contact a few chinese girls on POF but they didn't seem to respond.. so I dunno if you talked to 100's.. or something..

I think the kind of girl I'm searching for needs to be "open" to new ideas and new ways of thinking ultimately.. I get the feeling that if the Filipino's are that poor and oppressed (and I don't know.. I'm just making assumptions based on available information) that's the best place to find someone who can open up to modern western views of living/thinking.. I'm not sure even russian woman could be that expansive.. but I digress I don't have personal information..

For the record I don't have commitment issues.. I just have 0 experience with woman and basically low sexual experience to boot.. I'm not looking for sex as a priority.. but I am looking for sex in the idea I'd like having it and there's no way I'd enter into a marriage without first rectifying that idea.. and for the record I would never usually choose to get married but since I would like to travel with my partner I think that it would be a requirement..

[jm21-2]

You make the assumption that Filipinas are unhappy with their situation. I would not make that assumption. And I would suggest avoiding any girl who is desperate to flee her country.

If you are interested in Asian girls, better get used to the idea of marriage. And get used to the fact they expect a lot of commitment from very early on.

I had an almost 100% response rate on POF with girls from China.

Basically, you need to stop making assumptions. The vast, vast majority of these girls are happy in their country, love their families, enjoy their belief systems, but think western guys make better husbands. So, they are willing to make a lot of sacrifices to meet, marry, and go live with a foreign guy. You are not saving them, they are making sacrifices for you.

EDIT:
And it's more like you who need to be open to new ideas, because she will bring her culture with her into the marriage. You will be the one who has to adapt as well.

[michaelb]

And I would suggest avoiding any girl who is desperate to flee her country.

JM, that's excellent advice.

You are not saving them, they are making sacrifices for you.

And, if I may add, taking a great risk to do it.

[Bob_S]

What is the region to look for.. I think I saw a lot of them were from Ukraine?

No particular region.  Anywhere east of Poland, west of the Urals.  Though I'd say focus on the Moscow metropolitan area or St. Petersburg.

Any free sites you care to share.. or are the pay sites the best for browsing? (I've seen a few of the letter translation ones)

Can't really say.  I lost interest in the Former Soviet Union (FSU) 9 years ago.  Back then, Loveme.com will still a legit address seller, and there were a few other matchmaker agencies you could rely on.  But I wouldn't know today.

I think the kind of girl I'm searching for needs to be "open" to new ideas and new ways of thinking ultimately..

"Open" to what new ideas?  What are you saying?  Do you have some physical condition that requires unique sexual positions?

I get the feeling that if the Filipino's are that poor and oppressed (and I don't know.. I'm just making assumptions based on available information) that's the best place to find someone who can open up to modern western views of living/thinking..

You assume wrong.  Wherever you got that available information, flush it.  East Asia is generally a very socially conservative place.  If you live in the buckle of the Bible Belt, a Filipina might match you well; if you're a big city swinger into wife swapping and S&M clubs, it'd be very hard to find a match in conservative Catholic Philippines.  But good luck.  I'm sure you'll find lots of chat girls who'll tell you they'd be happy to join in on that.  But did you know, every one of them has a sick mother and needs you to send them money for treatment?

I'm not sure even russian woman could be that expansive.. but I digress I don't have personal information..

They probably would.  They are more European, more cosmopolitan.  RW understand the harsh realities and can be more flexible in that regard.

I would never usually choose to get married but since I would like to travel with my partner I think that it would be a requirement..

No, if you just want a traveling sex friend, you can look for an American woman.  No marriage required.  She could get her own passport, and even pay for her own ticket.  What's wrong with American women for you?  Part of seeking a foreign spouse is rejecting large facets of modern western views of living/thinking.