Vietnam anyone?

[Ray]

Ha ha I have to laugh when someone mentioned Filipinas as being more likely to be virgins.

That's right, laugh away, while we laugh at your ignorance.

Trying to project your experiences with bar girls onto the whole female population of the Philippines is not very smart and you should know it.

[stevjulietb]

Dave, I've got to pull your chain.....Your photo,,,, looks loke you've lost weight and bought a new G-string!

Steveb

[Bear]

Ha ha I have to laugh when someone mentioned Filipinas as being more likely to be virgins.

One of the biggest shocks I got while still chained to an AW was a friend I met working at a Hotel here in Houston.  He married a Filipina while working at a hotel in Hong Kong.  This lady made Miss America look homely.  She was 36 when he married her and still a virgin!  One of the major reasons I started my search in the Philippines.  You haven't looked at the 98% of the ladies who live in the provinces.  I've literally met tens of women in their late thirties and fourties there who never married and are still virgins.

Very short sighted statement.

The Bear Family

[Dave H]

Dave, I've got to pull your chain.....Your photo,,,, looks loke you've lost weight and bought a new G-string!

Steveb

Hey Steve,

Thanks for noticing! Actually that is my clone.  Although I really did lose weight. Still have the purple G-string...much to my wife's despair! I am thinking about buying a green one. I'm also growing my hair out...what I have is blonde. It will probably look like Dog Chapman's mullet if it gets much longer. 

Dave

[stevjulietb]

she's not american, they would need Godzillas thong

Steveb

[Cbear]

I have to agree with Creeper on one point, there is immense pressure on ALL girls, not just Filipina to have sex. But some cultures have an equal pressure not to have sex.

Example, I have a good friend I met online, she has a PHd and works for a charitable health organization. She is from Indonesia, she is 29 years old, very beautiful and has a strange mix of political views. She is a devout Catholic but also a big lib on womens issues and also a big greenie. (global warming topic drives her nuts)

Anyway, she dated a much older man for most of her early adult life, she would never let him have sex with her because she felt she had to wait to marry. He finally gave up on her and dumped her. So when her next BF wanted to have sex with her she held out for a little while but eventually gave in to him.

She told me she was afraid she would never experience sex if she didn't give it to this guy, so she did, at age 26. He was a year younger than her and he left her after taking her virginity.

Of course she was heart broken. Now she is 29 in a society that favors virginity and she isn't one anymore. It is unlikely any man from her own country will marry her, so now she must look abroad for a husband. I feel sorry for her.

And no, she didn't make my short list, we argue way to much (every time we chat), but we are good friends.

Here is a pic of her.

[Bob_S]

This isn't the study I read before but it is a very good read for someone who wants to understand the culture and virginity as an issue there.
http://iussp2005.princeton.edu/download.aspx?submissionId=51310
Take notice of how many woman claim to have sexual encounters, it is less than 4%

Interesting link.
"One in three single urban males (33.9%) aged 22-25 reported premarital sex activity, as compared with only 3.6% of their female counterparts. This pattern occurs again in the rural older males aged 22-25: rural males reported at 26.1% and females 3.2% (Ministry of Health, 2004)."

It is dealing with young adults, not all adults, but it does correspond pretty close to what you were saying.  And the thesis conclusions could, I suspect, be applied across most Asian cultures.

Trying to project your experiences with bar girls onto the whole female population of the Philippines is not very smart...

Amen.  And shall we all agree that experiences with bar girls, hostess girls, or any type of, ahem, "comfort women?" outside military bases, merchant piers, or international hotels is not indicative of the women in that country generally?  Any board member's sex tour exploits have no value here except for sheer entertainment (for those of us living vicariously through you while stuck here in our cubical prisons).

[piglett]

Interesting link.
"
shall we all agree that experiences with bar girls, hostess girls, or any type of, ahem, "comfort women?" outside military bases, merchant piers, or international hotels is not indicative of the women in that country generally?  Any board member's sex tour exploits have no value here except for sheer entertainment (for those of us living vicariously through you while stuck here in our cubical prisons).

i will have to say that sounds 100% logical to me.
I would not compare American wh0res with the average American woman.
Not at all, wh0res after all are quite up front about how much of ur money they want & when they want it.
So i would never try to compare a woman who operates in that manner to a cold blooded sneaky calculating American woman. 

[creeper1]

When I was a member of a dating site I popped the question to a few girls. Based on the results I would say it was uncommon for them to be virgins.

I did feel like a bit of a dick for asking one of the girls though as it upset her because she had been raped.

Also one of my chat mates came online recently looking distressed.  When I asked her what was wrong she told me she lost her virginity recently and was worried about being pregnant. I asked her why she didn't wait until marriage and she said "he forced me". I asked rape? She replied "not rape." I guess it means she caved into the pressure.

And she is in no way what I would describe as a party girl. When I met her really shy and worried about her reputation. 

She did feel guilty. She did pray for forgivness etc because she felt she sinned but nonetheless she is not a virgin now.

If it can happen to her I believe it can happen to any of them. THat's my personal opinion.

The Filipinas are outside the US military bases in Korea because they can speak English. Ofcourse I don't think they are all ho's.

[piglett]

When I was a member of a dating site I popped the question to a few girls. Based on the results I would say it was uncommon for them to be virgins.

I found more virgins than non virgins when i was searching for 18-26 year old ladies in the Philippines.
What counrty have you been looking in??

[Cbear]

You have to understand that most good Filipino men will absolutely not marry a non virgin, to them a non virgin is mistress material, not wife material. This is why there are a large number of non virgins on the dating sites, this is in some cases their last opportunity to find a good man. The number of non virgins on the dating sites is very disproportionate to the population as a whole.

[piglett]

I did feel like a bit of a dick for asking one of the girls though as it upset her because she had been raped.

Also one of my chat mates came online recently looking distressed.  When I asked her what was wrong she told me she lost her virginity recently and was worried about being pregnant. I asked her why she didn't wait until marriage and she said "he forced me". I asked rape? She replied "not rape." I guess it means she caved into the pressure.

And she is in no way what I would describe as a party girl. When I met her really shy and worried about her reputation. 
She did feel guilty. She did pray for forgivness etc because she felt she sinned but nonetheless she is not a virgin now.

why is it not ok to ask a lady that you intend to spend the rest of ur life with???
I feel that you have the rite to know if ur in a relationship with a lady.
I would think that if a lady is still a virgin then she would gladly tell you.
I always asked the new girls that i met if they had ever a boy friend before.
I always received the info that i was looking for & this technique is not quite so blunt.

[piglett]

You have to understand that most good Filipino men will absolutely not marry a non virgin, to them a non virgin is mistress material, not wife material. This is why there are a large number of non virgins on the dating sites, this is in some cases their last opportunity to find a good man. The number of non virgins on the dating sites is very disproportionate to the population as a whole.

So if i ever move to the PI. i will know what site to go to so i can find a quality mistress???
he he he just kidding don't be alarmed

[Cbear]

Sure Piglett, but what happens when your woman finds out about your mistresses? Filipino haircut time, snip snip, LOL


Look at it this way, the first thing a Filipino man is going to ask a girl is if she is a virgin, they have no qualms about doing so. So why shouldn't we ask the exact same question. The girls expect it, they get it asked of them all the time.

Filipino men are rude and go straight to the point. I don't condone being rude about it, but you can ask tactfully.

Here is how I asked, I would first tell the lady that I was going to ask her a very personnel question, then I would inform her that it was about a sexual issue, they usually say just ask me, then I ask. By now she knows it is coming and if she really doesn't want to talk about it, she won't. She will tell you she is uncomfortable. But if she balks after a couple of days of chatting with her then she is hiding something. The virgins are proud they are virgins and they will tell you so, they may even be offended that you asked (fake offence, they know you have to ask) because they are good girls.

[Cbear]

Back to the Vietnam issue.

If I remember correctly there are actually 3 or 4 distinct cultures in Vietnam. The Buddhist culture, the Catholic culture (12% of the population is Catholic) and the Mong culture. There is also the communist atheist culture also but this is small there even though the government is commie.

The Catholics are mostly in the south and are city dwellers, the provinces are mostly Buddhist. The Mongs are a protestant group that helped the US during the war. If you have seen Clint Eastwoods new movie Gran Torino, it is about Mongs in America.

The girls in the provinces aren't allowed to work, their beauty must be preserved until marriage. They are watched over like hawks by brothers and other family members to ensure they don't lose their virginity before marriage. It is a huge dishoner to not be a virgin on your wedding night, it brings shame to the family.

Once married the girl is then expected to work with her new family in what ever business they are in. She becomes the lowest member of the new house hold. Most people live with large amount of family members under one roof. The goal is for the girl to never have to work, she has been raised that she is a domestic helper, not a field worker. But the conditions they live in are such that she will be working very hard for her new family as soon as the honey moon is over.

Of course all families are different and may be different than I described but this is most of Vietnam.

I remember reading that because of all the bride sales from Vietnam that it is hard to get a visa for your lady. I don't know for sure, maybe Wm3 or Ray can shed some light on this one cause I'm just repeating a rumor right now.

[piglett]

Sure Piglett, but what happens when your woman finds out about your mistresses? Filipino haircut time, snip snip, LOL

I wouldn't ever do that to Marily i was just playing

Look at it this way, the first thing a Filipino man is going to ask a girl is if she is a virgin, they have no qualms about doing so. So why shouldn't we ask the exact same question. The girls expect it, they get it asked of them all the time.
Filipino men are rude and go straight to the point. I don't condone being rude about it, but you can ask tactfully.

 The virgins are proud they are virgins and they will tell you so, they may even be offended that you asked (fake offence, they know you have to ask) because they are good girls.

I have even seen add on cherry blossoms & filipinaheart where girls have come rite out & said that they were virgins
So i don't have any problem with asking them a sugar coated question
like you said Cbear it's better than the way pinoys do it.

[Dave H]

When I was a member of a dating site I popped the question to a few girls. Based on the results I would say it was uncommon for them to be virgins.

This is not meant to offend anyone, just my observations: Percentage wise, very few Filipinas marry and/or search for foreign husbands. My city has a population of 300,000. I do not know how many ladies here are married to foreigners, but only around 300 foreigners (most are married to a Filipina) live here. Overall, very few Filipinas are involved with international dating sites or online chat. Some guys have been very successful with these methods and have found great wives or fiancees. But IMHO, you will find a much higher percentage of ladies who aren't so good mixed in, when compared to the general population. It can also be hard to weed out the bad ladies from the good, since you don't have an agent or acquaintance (I know...some lie) who knows the ladies personally. Many nice ladies are going to be  very shy, thus not as talkative. They may not appear as interesting as one who is very loquacious (some have had LOTS of practice with foreigners), flirts or perhaps flashes...remember being conservative is the norm here.  Some great ladies also have limited English skills or are embarrassed when speaking English with a "Kano."  I know several Internet cafe owners here in the Philippines and many of their patrons. Some of the clientele are married women, women with boyfriends (some are even present when they chat), gays, women posting for daughters, women with multiple fiancees, woman trying to find a better paying job outside of the Philippines without going through immigration difficulties and expenses (working Visa and/or agencies), etc. A number of these ladies have told me that they "would do ANYTHING to marry a Kano!"

Take your time and ask plenty of questions, this is not a race or competition!!! Take multiple trips and/or start all over again if you feel that you should! As mentiond over and over again "DUMP THE LADIES WHO ASK FOR MONEY" and you will help to eliminate a large portion of the undesirables very quickly.

Dave

[Cbear]

I have even seen add on cherry blossoms & filipinaheart where girls have come rite out & said that they were virgins
So i don't have any problem with asking them a sugar coated question
like you said Cbear it's better than the way pinoys do it.

I saw lots of adds that said "no boyfriend since birth" this is a nice way of telling you she is a virgin without actually saying it.

And yes, some even said "I am a virgin" in the add.


Dave, I agree 100% with your post. That is exactly what I have seen on the dating sites.

[stevjulietb]

Great post daveH.  I have seen the same thing at internet cafes.  As for their shyness...I have tried for 5 years to get a friend to go to the PI with us.  I have told him all we have to do is sit in my wife's Momma's house in the village and the girls would come to him.  They wouldn't come on to him , but would use Juliet to start the conversation.  I don't think he believes me....Oh well!

Steveb

[Bear]

Great post daveH.  I have seen the same thing at internet cafes.  As for their shyness...I have tried for 5 years to get a friend to go to the PI with us.  I have told him all we have to do is sit in my wife's Momma's house in the village and the girls would come to him.  They wouldn't come on to him , but would use Juliet to start the conversation.  I don't think he believes me....Oh well!

Steveb

His loss.

I tell  my kids (getting them programmed early) to date AWs but marry Filipinas.  I even tell them I'll send them there when its time.

The Bear Family

[piglett]

  As for their shyness...I have tried for 5 years to get a friend to go to the PI with us.  I have told him all we have to do is sit in my wife's Momma's house in the village and the girls would come to him.  They wouldn't come on to him , but would use Juliet to start the conversation.  I don't think he believes me....Oh well!

Steveb

well if he just is in love with the way the AW treat him then tell him to stick with them.
i guess it's like leeding a horse 2 water, it will not drink unless it wants 2.

[piglett]

I tell  my kids (getting them programmed early) to date AWs but marry Filipinas.  I even tell them I'll send them there when its time.

The Bear Family

he he he good job Bear, i just hope they all listen & don't fall for the AW trap.

[stevjulietb]

Bear and Pig,

I feel sorry for the kid, lol, (he is 40 and played basketball for me in the mid-eighties).  I'm sure he isn't satisified with AW treatment, and I worry about his health.  He is overweight, smoking, and works too many hours at work.  I'm sure he gets discouragement from friends and family when he tells them about the possibility of traveling to PI.

Steveb

[piglett]

Bear and Pig,

I feel sorry for the kid, lol, (he is 40 and played basketball for me in the mid-eighties).  I'm sure he isn't satisified with AW treatment, and I worry about his health.  He is overweight, smoking, and works too many hours at work.  I'm sure he gets discouragement from friends and family when he tells them about the possibility of traveling to PI.

Steveb

the reason doesn't really matter
the bottom line is he will not go 2 the PI with you to look for a better type of woman
oh well, don't beat yourself up about it afterall you tryied your best.

[Cbear]

I have a buddy (several actually) going through divorces. I have tried and tried to convince them to go to PI.

Of all my single and getting divorced buddies, only one is open to meeting a sweet young Filipina girl.

When they all see how happy I am they think I am just being used, they can't understand why a young educated lady would want to date an older guy. I keep telling them to just go there and find out for themselves, but they are all to PC to even think about it.

What was this thread about again? Oh yeah Vietnam chicks.