And guys wonder why some latinas take advantage of gringos .....

[sabound]

 I wonder what state of mind this gringo was in at this time in his life ? I realize this is only one side of the story but do we really want to hear the otherside ? what really caught my eye was number 4 , if you have to question the girl are you 16 or 17 yo ? wow .

1. No one went to her house with a gun

2. No one threw around the aunt/grandmother

3. I was never banned from ........ (and can prove it because I have recent emails from  ........ inviting me back – but the girl was kicked out)

4. I never went after 16 yr old girls and the girl in question was older than 17 or she would not have been able to join the agency

5. I don’t think I ever claimed to be an expert but have a fair amount of knowledge on the agency scene, etc.

6. I was only scammed once by a girl in Latin America

7. My Spanish is good as some of you know and better than most at the time of the incident

8. The girl later wrote me an apologetic email which I still have

 

[CeeTeeEnn]

Would you be so kind as to describe the background to this story?

[sabound]

sure , its pretty simple . Here is 40-50 yo gringo who did not like the way the relationship went with a 17-18 yo latina . And this is a guy who thinks he knows so much about the latin culture . He went to the girls house and tried to retrieve some clothes , and shoes that he had bought for her as a gift .

[Dan]

sure , its pretty simple . Here is 40-50 yo gringo who did not like the way the relationship went with a 17-18 yo latina . And this is a guy who thinks he knows so much about the latin culture . He went to the girls house and tried to retrieve some clothes , and shoes that he had bought for her as a gift .

Huh?!?

I gather this is not YOUR story - so where do you come by this?

- Dan

[sabound]

you are correct this did not happen to me . But I do know that it is very factual .

[CeeTeeEnn]

Sabound, if you genuinely wish to share this story with the forum for the purpose of broadening our collective understanding of some of the pitfalls involved in dating Latinas, then please tell us the full facts in concise and legible detail or forever hold your peace in this thread. Many posters here can tell their own disaster stories involving dating Latinas, and we're not in the business of chastising or condemning guys who makes genuine errors of judgement.

One thing though, the issue of girls younger than 18 joining online dating sites and agencies is nothing new - I've come across four recently who made up their ages between 18-20 whereas infact they were anything from 14 to 17. This is where Facebook and Hi5 come into their own; they're invaluable for checking out girls' backgrounds and getting information that agencies and dating sites are either unaware of, or else choose not to disclose.

[mudd]

not jumping to conclusions, but mosre info would be helpful.

1st, how did  a 16 or even 17 year old girl get into an agency, they don't check Cedulas ? "Colombian ID ", i had one last week try to sign up, turns out she was 17, told her to come back in 6 months, when she turned 18.  I Ran into a few girls lieing about their age many times on colombian cupid. Really no way to verifi their age on cupid.
2nd,. 40, or even worse, 50 year old guy messing around with an underaged girl, if she was actually underaged, is pretty sick.  And somebod can correct me if i am wrong, but if your an American in Colombia, and your messing around with an underaged girl, it doesn't go by the age of the girl in her country, but the legal age of a girl in YOUR country, which in the USA is  18.
either way, this guy sounds like a real winner, if he and the story are actually real.

[Bob_S]

either way, this guy sounds like a real winner, if he and the story are actually real.

Going to her home to take back clothing he bought for her as gifts?  Yeah, real piece of work, this one.  He deserves whatever lying cheating scamming visa shark runner he ends up with.

[CeeTeeEnn]

Going to her home to take back clothing he bought for her as gifts?  Yeah, real piece of work, this one.  He deserves whatever lying cheating scamming visa shark runner he ends up with.

Perhaps he needed them for a transvestite party... given the available information behind this story, it's the only reason I can think of.

[GatoAzul]

I do not like 50 yo men prevering around with underage girls even they lie about their age.!!  Go and find 30-50yo women!!

[Calipro]

Huh?!?

I gather this is not YOUR story - so where do you come by this?

- Dan

LOL !!!

Sounds eerily similar to a story told about Papi FIVE OR SIX YEARS AGO !!!   LOL !!

If guys are still talking about that..... the rumor mill in Cali must be bone dry. hehehe !!!

[InnocentVixen]

lately I feel my english is failing me, so I will save my comments about age difference in relationships because I didn't really understand the story.

A lie is a lie and one lie that can get you in legal problems shows that she is immature and selfish, even if it wasn't something as important as being underage, it just means she doesn't trust you and that she is hiding something, which is still pretty bad if you are already in a relationship.

The guy said he had "a fair amount of knowledge on the agency scene", I have no knowledge about it so I'll just use common sense on this one, if the man is dating a woman girl _kid? 40 years younger that accepts his gifts (and I am not talking about details like flowers) shouldn't he be prepared for the fact that she just might be a scammer?, not that he deserves one, but the way you handle it if it does happen speaks volumes of the kind of person you are, going to her home and trying to get back the gifts and keeping the email she sent where she actually apologized is just sad and he is probably not over it!

Now I'm sorry if I'm hijacking this thread a little bit but I am curious as to what gifts are acceptable in your opinion.

I ask this because I notice men tend to offer things, specially american ones and was wondering if it's a cultural thing, for me a gift is something that you choose yourself thinking of the person you buy the gift to, the surprise is part of the gift so a man offering to buy something for me feels strange, now if that man was a relative or my husband that would be fine, but just a boyfriend or even some guy that is courting me? I will sound paranoid but that would just make me doubt his intentions a little.

[Dan]

you are correct this did not happen to me . But I do know that it is very factual .

Posting by proxy is not really very helpful.

Better - invite the person here to tell the story themselves.

- Dan

[Jamie]

Perhaps he needed them for a transvestite party... given the available information behind this story, it's the only reason I can think of.

That is exactly the point of the story

[Fuzzyone]

 I think I know who he is talking about, the guy posted here a while ago but could not handle william given him a hard time.

[Jamie]

I am curious as to what gifts are acceptable in your opinion.

I pretty much accept any gift what do you have in mind?

I ask this because I notice men tend to offer things, specially american ones and was wondering if it's a cultural thing,

It’s not a cultural thing, but an old age or I am incompetent with women thing. Men who buy material items for women they barely know do so to buy the woman (get her attention by the only means they can). Now such men may say I am just being kind or generous, but the reality is they are trying to buy the woman’s interest because they are not able to so through humor, looks or intellect. Even the stupidest of women know what the man is trying to do and they may or may not play along. There are enough women that will play along that makes such effort from the man payoff. Everyone can be bought and in some places they can be bought for very little.

[Dan]

I think I know who he is talking about, the guy posted here a while ago but could not handle william given him a hard time.

I understand - BUT - isn't this just a bunch of speculation and guesswork?

- Dan

[GatoAzul]

Now such men may say I am just being kind or generous, but the reality is they are trying to buy the woman’s interest because they are not able to so through humor, looks or intellect.

In some cases, yes.   I buy my prometida gifts because I love her very much and show my love for her, so it has nothing to do with trying to get my attention.

The most stupidest thing is that men sending money only to try to get attention!!!

[Jamie]

In some cases, yes.   I buy my prometida gifts because I love her very much and show my love for her, so it has nothing to do with trying to get my attention.

The most stupidest thing is that men sending money only to try to get attention!!!

I was only refering to men who did not know the women well: "Men who buy material items for women they barely know..."

[Bob_S]

Now I'm sorry if I'm hijacking this thread a little bit but I am curious as to what gifts are acceptable in your opinion.

Traditionally acceptable gifts are things like flowers or sweets, namely chocolates (though if the season is too hot to send anything made with cocoa butter, clever alternatives are allowed such as gourmet cookies).

One girl once sent me a book by a famous classic literary author/poet from her country, translated into English.

Once when we were discussing pop music, I sent my then penpal (now wife) a CD I made of American rock songs I had mentioned (to give her a frame of reference).

So things like this are from the heart and soul, intended to make you smile, fine for someone you maybe haven't met in person yet.

But if he's buying you diamond earrings or an i-pod and you haven't even met yet, then yeah, he's trying to buy you.  Those would be acceptable gifts if you had already met and have an established relationship, required if you are a couple and it is a special occasion (birthday or Christmas).

IMHO of course.

[InnocentVixen]

Thank you everyone for your replies, just wanted to make sure I am not being paranoid! also I hope this helps newbies, maybe some offer things and don't realize it could cause a bad impression.

[Pivery]

  I think the giving of many gifts is in part due to American men being beaten over the head with the notion that women expect to be wooed by gifts. I know in my younger days, I was dating women who would I would bring some flowers or something and she would ask, "Is that all you brought me?" 

So.....

Once a man crosses the cultural divide (American - Latina) he is bringing his ideas of what will work to a culture that a flood of gifts really aren't expected. This mistake was mine as I flooded my now fiancee' with gifts, and her response was, "Thank you for all of these things, but all I really want is your love."

The moral of the story here is you can't buy someone's love and in some cases is frowned upon to attempt to do so.
I wasn't trying to buy her love, but since I am from a country which advertises non-stop of the things you should be buying you fiancee'/wife, I really didn't know any better.

It's a lot cheaper to have her around now!

Pivery

[utopiacowboy]

On the subject of gifts, it is expected that if you go on a trip you should bring back some little item for every one in your household.

[soltero]

This mistake was mine as I flooded my now fiancee' with gifts, and her response was, "Thank you for all of these things, but all I really want is your love."

Pivery, in all honesty, that doesn't even sound real. Who talks like that? Really, your understanding of Spanish isn't that great as you were using a translator on your only trip there...How would someone say what you just wrote in Spanish? I am sorry, and I wish you and yours the best, but some of the stuff you say sounds more like a bad Spanish novella than real life. I hope that as unreal as it sounds that it is actually real for you...

[GatoAzul]

I was only refering to men who did not know the women well: "Men who buy material items for women they barely know..."

sorry for my misunderstanding.... yeah that's true!