How do you filter out from the top choices down to 1 or 2? :(

[TurboSS]

Ok so after being on CB for a little while I think I have narrowed it down.  5 Chinese girls 1 Vietnamese girl and 1 Fillipina. 

I am sure I will filter out the vietnamese girl.  I actually met her on pof and she is really cool but i get the impression she only wants to date a guy close to her.

Out of the 200+ emails, smiles and chat invites from fillipinas I only talked to one lol.  She was one of most attractice fillipinas and I think she is pretty genuine.  But after reading so many of your stories about fillipina women, its not my type of woman so i will probably filter her out as well.

1 Chinese girl writes me alot and is getting attached after only like 4 or 5 emails.  Red flag to me because she may be a scammer.  She says she borrows a friends computer to write to me and wont accept chat invites because its her friends computer.  I will probably filter her out.

Other 4 chinese girls.  These ones are much tougher.  All of them are beautiful at least in my eyes.  All of them speak really good or excellent english.  I talk with them on webcam so i know they are all real and speak english.  3 out of 4 I could say I want you to be my E-girlfriend and I know 100% sure they would accept.  The 4th one needs a little more time. 

I figure the only thing I can do is keeping talking and maybe a couple of the girls will throw out a deal breaker so its an easy filter.  I ask them alot of hard questions that i am not willing to compromise on and they seem to pass.  (I dont tell them i wont compromise on them or my stance.  I ask what their stance is first) 


It seems any time i am logged on msn chat in the morning or night I get swamped by at least 4 of the girls wanting to talk to me and usually more than one will want to use the webcam with me.  Its very tiring lol and its hard to keep up.  And yes if the girls ask i have told them i am talking to other girls as well.  Only a couple have asked though the others have not. 


So how did you guys narrow it down to 1 or 2?  This is taking up a ton of my free time and its hard to keep all of their backgrounds straight.    I made a word document separating each one and putting important info under each. 

[Jeff S]

Just keep at it. A few more will drop out and maybe a few more will come on. Eventually you're going to have to get on an airplane and find out for sure.

[Ray]

Pick the ugliest one and go with her...

But after reading so many of your stories about fillipina women, its not my type of woman so i will probably filter her out as well.

What is your type of woman?

[jm21-2]

Most guys here seem to advise meeting 4-5 girls the first trip to check for chemistry. That would make me a little uncomfortable personally, but if you don't have any qualms about it then I'd meet as many as you can.

[william3rd]

egirlfriend. . . ?!?!?!?!? has it come to this? what if she echeats on you? or gets epregnant? HOw do you know it is eyours? How do you handle the downloading? Do you use a firewall until you know her better?

[TurboSS]

I say E-girlfriend because I havent met her in person. Mostly as a joke.   If she hooks up with other dudes or whatever its fine.  I use that term as a joke because i have no other way to describe it.  I dont think i could absolutely commit to a girl until i have met her in person.

[CeeTeeEnn]

egirlfriend. . . Do you use a firewall until you know her better?

Thank you William, you made my day with that one!

Yeah.. i once dabbled with meeting Asian girls online and have noticed how some girls refer to having "boyfriends" whom they have never actually met. I even became quite attached to one of them and i noticed one time in a chat she wanted to get the three little words out of me. No friggin' way! How the hell can you say you love someone you have never met, based solely on a handful of JPGs, EMails and chat sessions? Is that all this three letter word has come to mean? Sorry, but I choose my words carefully and meaningfully. I told her she is my favourite chatmate whom i could very likely get to love in real life on day; and she lost interest in me.

I think this "virtual attachment" may be more of an Asian thing. I haven't noticed it in the Latin world, where of course the girls don't have bfs, either real or virtual, when they chat with you (they have male "friends" and "cousins" instead..  )

[Bear]

I got to go with Jeff and Ray.  I've watched some of the new guys start with one "plan a" and then B and now at plan G,  Eventually the right one comes along.  I wouldn't filter anyout too quickly cause like Ray says the "ugly" ones might not have the money for "professional pictures" and a lot of chat time, etc. and would be really grateful to have a good guy.

The Bear Family

[william3rd]

I say E-girlfriend because I havent met her in person. Mostly as a joke.   If she hooks up with other dudes or whatever its fine.  I use that term as a joke because i have no other way to describe it.  I dont think i could absolutely commit to a girl until i have met her in person.

I figured it was. I met my wife on line and after a couple of months, I knew-and so did she but never said until after the meeting. It was the second meeting 10 weeks after the first that we declared and 2 years later actually fessed up to the feelings that we were having online.

A word of advice. Choosing three radically different countries can be difficult. I would be looking more at the country first. What is acceptable in one is not acceptable in another. In addition, where do you want to be visiting, have a retirement home, etc.? What language, religion, customs do you want to follow?

To my mind- and in my actions- I excluded countries and their candidates and then focused.

[Jeff S]

A word of advice. Choosing three radically different countries can be difficult. I would be looking more at the country first. What is acceptable in one is not acceptable in another. In addition, where do you want to be visiting, have a retirement home, etc.? What language, religion, customs do you want to follow?

Exactly! You don't just bring an exotic girl over to live with you - you bring her customs, beliefs, music, food, culture, religion, philosophy, traditions, and so on, and you better love it because you'll be immersed in it for the rest of your life.

- Jeff

[Capstone]

1 Chinese girl writes me alot and is getting attached after only like 4 or 5 emails.  Red flag to me because she may be a scammer.  She says she borrows a friends computer to write to me and wont accept chat invites because its her friends computer.  I will probably filter her out.

I am chatting with my Chinese fiancee right now and told her about this and asked what her opinion is. She says that the girl is either a scammer or is someone who is very immature and is desperate to get married. Either way she says to forget about that girl.

[Capstone]

Most guys here seem to advise meeting 4-5 girls the first trip to check for chemistry. That would make me a little uncomfortable personally, but if you don't have any qualms about it then I'd meet as many as you can.

I totally agree with you jm, I have never believed in this strategy and I can guarantee you that it would not work in China. If a Chinese girl finds out that you made a trip to see other girls as well then she would kick your butt to the curb instantly.

[Cbear]

When I started my search I talked to hundreds of girls, all most all from the Philippines.

I narrowed it down to about 10 that met my criteria and then I got to know each of them very well.

In a sort time I was down to 3 and then one went nut job on me so it was down to 2.

They found out about each other and that forced me to choose. I chose my sweetie and I went to see her for 2 weeks last month. I went to see her and only her.

I did tell her I had feelings for because I did. I did consider her my GF before we ever met. Now we are making plans for our future, we have hit bumps in the road but never have any communication problems and we always find a solution.

My advise would be to weed them down until you are pretty sure about a girl, then go see her, and only her. If it doesn't work out then you can always go online and find another girl to meet.

[TurboSS]

I figured it was. I met my wife on line and after a couple of months, I knew-and so did she but never said until after the meeting. It was the second meeting 10 weeks after the first that we declared and 2 years later actually fessed up to the feelings that we were having online.

A word of advice. Choosing three radically different countries can be difficult. I would be looking more at the country first. What is acceptable in one is not acceptable in another. In addition, where do you want to be visiting, have a retirement home, etc.? What language, religion, customs do you want to follow?

To my mind- and in my actions- I excluded countries and their candidates and then focused.

Ya I am mostly focusing on China.  The only reason I am talking to the fillipina and the Vietnamese girl was because they were pretty cool.  I will probably filter them out though like i said.  I know so much more about China.  I even went to China a couple of years ago and I have several friends from China.  I understand the chinese girls definitely would not be ok with me visiting other girls while i was there.  Thats one of the reasons I want to filter them down.

[jm21-2]

I even became quite attached to one of them and i noticed one time in a chat she wanted to get the three little words out of me. No friggin' way! How the hell can you say you love someone you have never met, based solely on a handful of JPGs, EMails and chat sessions? Is that all this three letter word has come to mean? Sorry, but I choose my words carefully and meaningfully. I told her she is my favourite chatmate whom i could very likely get to love in real life on day; and she lost interest in me.

I think this "virtual attachment" may be more of an Asian thing. I haven't noticed it in the Latin world, where of course the girls don't have bfs, either real or virtual, when they chat with you (they have male "friends" and "cousins" instead..  )

I dunno, I think it's kind of cute when they are teaching you some of their language and slip in an "i love you" in their language. They know it doesn't mean anything but it seems to give them a kick. Or having your number even though you always talk over skype.

[Jeff S]

Just so you know - unlike what's considered the standard approach on the Latin board, most of the guys on the Asian board, especially we happily married regular posters, only visited one girl. If it's a total bomb, you can always get on CB over there and tell them you're in-country and what you thought was a special someone turned out not to be.

[Ray]

I dunno, I think it's kind of cute when they are teaching you some of their language and slip in an "i love you" in their language. They know it doesn't mean anything but it seems to give them a kick.

JM makes a good point.

Don't take the "I Love You’s” too seriously. American men tend to get all uptight over those 3 little words because it's supposed to mean there is some kind of serious commitment.

From my experience, Asian ladies don’t put anywhere near that much significance on those words as we tend to do. They love their family, they love their friends, they love their pets, etc… It’s an English Language phrase that they learned and it’s not a big deal for them to use it on casual acquaintances.

My advice is to relax and enjoy the ride and stop getting all uptight because some foreign lady says she “loves you”.

Ray

[Dave H]

Just so you know - unlike what's considered the standard approach on the Latin board, most of the guys on the Asian board, especially we happily married regular posters, only visited one girl. If it's a total bomb, you can always get on CB over there and tell them you're in-country and what you thought was a special someone turned out not to be.

Hey Jeff,

I agree! It would be better to reconnect with some familiar ladies from CB. It is easy to pick up an 'interested' lady in the Philippines...too easy and too easy to think with the little head and hook up with trouble! The majority of Filipinas look so sweet and innocent, even bargirls! But, most of the good girls will not carry on a conversation with to you, let alone approach you. You may get a very shy smile before they walk away quickly. Last night we attended a friend's wedding. I met two sisters who were VERY friendly and talkative. The younger sister is waiting for an annulment and living with a Filipino boyfriend with whom she has kids as well. She is now seeking a Kano and wanted to dance with me. I danced with the gay, cross dressing 'mistress of ceremonies" instead.  The other sister, who is married (with children) to a Filipino, is "engaged" to a Kano and waiting for her annulment. He recently visited her and spent 3 weeks with her. Their widowed mother  will be coming to the US soon on a Fiancee Visa.

I also agree, don't take the "I Love You’s” too seriously. Have you ever seen Asian ladies (young and old) at Disney with her giant pencil and autograph book? They "love" Mickey too!

Dave

[Ray]

Have you ever seen Asian ladies (young and old) at Disney with her giant pencil and autograph book?

LOL! Very true Dave!

When my wife went to Disneyland the first time, the very first thing she wanted to do was to get her picture taken with Pooh... 

Ray

[Dave H]

LOL! Very true Dave!

When my wife went to Disneyland the first time, the very first thing she wanted to do was to get her picture taken with Pooh... 

Ray

Hey Ray,

My wife was pretty good (a Mickey picture)...but her sister!!!  Can you imagine Tokyo and Hong Kong Disneylands? 

Dave

[Staggo]

LOL again Dave hijacks another thread    you the man Dave lol

[TurboSS]

I dont mind the hijacking.

anyway just an update.  Its getting really ridiculous now.  I pretty much stopped going to CB except to delete new emails and smiles.  I just wanted to update.

Well I havent heard back in a long time from the chinese girl I thought might be a scammer which is great.  I need to filter out.


I havent talked to the vietnamese girl much except a couple of quick emails because her internet is down.  thats fine because i will probably filter her out too soon.

I still talk to the fillipina girl its hard to filter her out because she seems like such a good person and she is beautiful.  She only talks to me at night too and most of my juggling problems come in the morning.

For example this morning I was on MSN talking to  5 Chinese girls at the same time.    One of them is actually a close friend i knew in real life and she moved back to china recently and since she moved back she has strongly hinted that she really wants to be with me. Long story

Anyway, I cant keep juggling that many at the same time.  My hands cramp up from typing and its hard to keep all of them straight.  I am a really quick typer so I can do it.  the major problem is all of them have webcams and all of them want to be on the webcam with me at the same time. lol

All of them except my favorite one I think have a fairly strong desire towards me. Now if my favorite one warms up a little more this could be easy.  I two favorites and my second favorite is really warming up to me quick. (she actually was a news reporter on CCTV she showed me a vid of her interviewing people lol)  my third and fourth choices are really really interested in me but i think i will have to filter them out.  The problem is they get attached so damn fast without me even trying that its going to be hard to hurt them.  I am still pretty interested in both of them as well.  Its not like its easy to just say no.  They are both beautiful, sweet intelligent women. 

Anyway, I would like to stall a little with my third and fourth choice until I am more certain about my number 1 and 2.  When the vietnamese girl gets her internet back i am sure it will be 6 girls on in the morning instead of 5.  At night its a little easier because its the fillipina and about 2-3 of the chinese girls. 

So my eventual goal is to filter out the fillipina, the vietnamese girl, my last two choices of chinese girls, (i am not going to count my chinese friend here becuase she is a good friend and i will talk to her regardless) and then have it narrowed down to my top 2 chinese girls.  Anyone have any more helpful advice.  I appreciate all the advice given so far.

[piglett]

Dam dude I'm getting confused just reading your post.

I had a hard time even keeping all the facts about 2 ladies straight in my head, so i sent my 2nd choice on her way.
i think this is what you should do & do it now.
If you keep playing games with these ladies you may wind up loosing the one that you really like.
these ladies are not stupid.
I think it is time to decide what you want.
if it doesn't work out you can always contact another lady, there are plenty of them choose from

piglett

[Bear]

Gosh Piglet!  Don't hold back tell us what you think!     You think that's tough, I tried to juggle 13 at one point and actually wrote one (just one) and called her another's name.

The Bear Family

[Stagga]

Yep me too kind of confused about your last post.. Turboss
lol.. too many girls 

i agree with Piglett u need to decide now.. what you want!
wow going to be 6 girls one at the time..........how could you do that man? if through emails i understand but chat typing and your on webcam, ummm u never get confused?

for example... i' m one of those girls, if i saw u typing none stop and i don't get any, i start to wonder and there.... the start of losing interest !

and what's next? u might lose the nice one.....

its just my opinion sorry if you don't like it!

Peace