Continuation Conversation for RAYcjs

[Jamie]

Almost every women I went to LA to visit , Including my beautiful wife, did many things for me before I arrived from getting hotel info and pricing, to making dinner reservations and tour excursion reservations in advance for us. In other words, I MADE HER WORK FOR ME ! Absolutely this is a great strategy to see how much the women will do for you once she knows you have a ticket booked and a date set to travel. I advise every man here to do this and if the women is not willing or interested in doing these things for you, dump her lazy arse and find another  because lazy and uninterested now gets quadruple piled on if you end up bringing her back statesideKB

There is nothing wrong with this it’s very normal if coming down to meet only one woman in a new city to ask for some assistance and arrangements. But as I indicated the real test comes after the two of you meet it terms of what she does and how she does it. By the way she is not working for you, but doing something for the both of you. As a side note coming down to meet one woman probably has a 90% plus failure rate in terms of leading to marriage, so if one was using this “great strategy” of your you would still have a 90% plus failure rate.

[Shadow_mas]

I like kingdfax idea. I don't think he was being a jerk for bringing this idea up. A good idea can come from anybody, it does not matter if they have been her for minutes or years.  I don't understand the harsh criticism from moderators. His idea don't have to be preapproved. Right? HE will be scared to post if moderator criticise his comments.

Or he can ask someone to post his idea is sound and defend him.

It is true that a good idea can come from anybody, and anyone is invited to share his thoughts and ideas as long as they are withing the PL Values. But also anyone is free to discuss if an idea is good, and it does not matter who discusses. Moderators are not different from other members in having the freedom to express their opinion, and anyone is free to agree or disagree with them.
 
King Dphax poses his idea as the ideal way to find out if someone you are going to visit has any feelings for you. However one of the most important points is that before visiting you have no relationship, at most you have the chance of one.
It is very easy to spoil the chance of a relationship by suddenly seeming to act out of character trying to follow some 'golden' advice.
There is nothing wrong with taking in account if the lady is willing to put effort in your visit. However to 'make her work' sounds to me like you are letting her run errands not because they can be useful, but because you are wanting to see if she will run for you.
That can make you look bad, and could make her to think that the earlier correspondence was a cover up for a guy that will make her a 'slave' to run after whatever he wants.

On my visit to Argentina the lady I was in contact with prepared a round trip for me, to show off her country. Even if the relationship stranded, the trip is still very alive in my mind. Sometimes even having both sides putting effort in is not enough.

[Shadow_mas]

There is nothing wrong with this it’s very normal if coming down to meet only one woman in a new city to ask for some assistance and arrangements. But as I indicated the real test comes after the two of you meet it terms of what she does and how she does it. By the way she is not working for you, but doing something for the both of you. As a side note coming down to meet one woman probably has a 90% plus failure rate in terms of leading to marriage, so if one was using this “great strategy” of your you would still have a 90% plus failure rate.

Good to know that I batted above average. 

[william3rd]

I like kingdfax idea. I don't think he was being a jerk for bringing this idea up. A good idea can come from anybody, it does not matter if they have been her for minutes or years.  I don't understand the harsh criticism from moderators. His idea don't have to be preapproved. Right? HE will be scared to post if moderator criticise his comments.

 

Are you his sister or just a significant other that signed up to help him out?

[Researcher]

       I can see the point of someone putting time and effort into something they care about. Also, you might be able to tell if the woman is looking for a relationship and is willing to contribute or if she is a damsel waiting to be rescued and taken care of all her life(or catered to all her life). But from my experience, in the beginning many will work hard to impress. I remember talking with a friend of mine that had been married for a while and I was telling how a lady I just met was always on time and wanted to spend every second she could with me. He just looked at me and said "wait until you get married". It dawned on me how different things can be in the beginning.Luckily, my wife hasn't changed a bit.
       I don't think giving a woman tasks to do will tell you much about her.I could be wrong though. Maybe if you showed up with a suitcase full of dirty underwear and got her to wash them she just might be a keeper.



         Researcher

[herbrags]

I am glad you are not cricizing  kingdafax idea now. I thought it was reasonable.
that is all

[raycjs]

Kingdafax


Why did you feel you needed to start a topic with my name in it to inform me about meeting and dating Latin women...... I would think that you would have been better off posting a topic in general informing everyone of your opinion not just pointing out one person.. I am ok with it but i was just wounder why. No big deal and nice to meet you


Ray

[Jeff S]

I had no problem with his idea either, just his snipes at people's education, intelligence and experience, from someone who'd been to LA all of a half a dozen times and knew it all.

[singlefather no more]

I had no problem with his idea either, just his snipes at people's education, intelligence and experience, from someone who'd been to LA all of a half a dozen times and knew it all.

Ditto..

It is common sense not to come on to a Internet Forum for the first time and start taking shots at guys..


.

[Cbear]

I think if the lady is truly interested you won't have to give her tasks as she will step forward and want to help. I know my lady did. When I went to visit her in PI she had already made hotel reservations and had an idea about what we should do the first day. Of course I asked her to help but she was all for it.

When I arrived at midnight after a 27 hour flight she made sure I rested and while I rested she cooked me a huge dinner in the hotel kitchen which she had talked them into letting her use in the middle of the night.

A good lady will not need tasks put on her, she will step up and do what is needed.

[utopiacowboy]

Got that right, Cbear.

[texassingledad]

I agree Cbear!!!!!!!!

[Fuzzyone]

OK Shadow_mas:

Thanks for your reply, but that went right over my head. Maybe I'm too simple-minded to understand what you mean.

1st: My message is to MEN about the women, NOT the other way around. My thread is deeper than baseball caps. "TIME" is money and money is TIME.

2nd: Why did the lady have to (I asssume you are talking about your "wife") stop "looking" if she knew WHERE the baseball cap was located ("American
restaurant in Moscow")?? She did not have to "LOOK" if she was told WHERE to find the baseball cap, correct???

3rd: If the purchase od a baseball cap "killed her interest" I would HATE to be
married to that lady.

Do more THINKING before replying to my threads, Shadow_Mas. There's a new kid
in town. Who are you anyway?

-King Dphax
author, "Survival Guide for Single Men"   

   For the new kid in town

     I think a better test for the woman is not to fly down right away to see them, why not wait a little while to see what kind of staying power they have. A better one is let them pick where to eat McDonald's or Burger King if they want neither time to kick them to the curb they are too high maintenance. Take them to Rivero and offer to buy something for them see what they pick  if its over $10 big ones another failed test.

[Jamie]

A good lady will not need tasks put on her, she will step up and do what is needed.

Very good point.

[Fuzzyone]

Very good point.

  I agree with that point, Went to Barranquila to see my girl at the time (now wife) she was right on the ball. Where do you want to stay? Do you want me to find a place? I have a bunch of places to show you ect. I don't understand some men that go visit woman down in Colombia, the test they use to see if they can find red flags. If they just spent some time with them they will find out all they need instead of asking them to marry them the first day.
 
  I don't see how the girl failed the test if her uncle found him a place to stay instead of her. Instead of thinking up test up here why not go visit her instead and see how she is. Keep thinking up test and all we will see is more of the single man books part 2 part 3 part 4.

[KingDphax]

PREFACE: Again Gentlemen, contribute positive or don't contribute at all. 2nd, Don't HIDE behind your computer. If you do not have the coursge to say these things to a man "face-to face," why say it on the internet? 3rd, I am not using an ALIAS. My name is my name. 4th, speak for yourselves. No need to mention who someone else is on this site. Let them say who they are. All I asked for was positive contributions. Nevertheless, I knew this would happen. Also, if one has spent "ten years" on this site, they have far TOOOOOOO much time on their hands!

FOR THOSE WHO CAN APPRECIATE THIS DISCUSSION:

One of the things that I have realized (my advice is not for everyone) is that a relationship is a partnership. That's right. That means WORK. Not meaningless tasks, easter egg hunts or baseball caps in Moscow. Work and sacrifice are the key themes here. A man should not blatently "assign" anything. These things are NEEDED (apartment, hotel, medical services, etc.) and not wanted (like a baseball cap).

I read one thread where a gentleman said that he had to eat a lot of "PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLEY SANDWICHES" in order to visit his girlfriend. This means that he is "working" for her. This means that he is making great sacrifice for her. As a result, he is making an INVESTMENT. Now my question to all those who can appreciate this kind of discussion is as follows: WHAT IS THE WOMAN INVESTING? If she has NO (zero) investment in you, what will she LOSE if the relationship ENDS (contrary to popular belief, relationships do end). She hasn't invested any TIME (some say that is child's play or meaningless tasks) and she DEFINITELY hasn't invested any MONEY. What does she have to lose?

-King Dphax

[Capstone]

PREFACE: Again Gentlemen, contribute positive or don't contribute at all. 2nd, Don't HIDE behind your computer. If you do not have the coursge to say these things to a man "face-to face," why say it on the internet? 3rd, I am not using an ALIAS. My name is my name. 4th, speak for yourselves. No need to mention who someone else is on this site. Let them say who they are. All I asked for was positive contributions. Nevertheless, I knew this would happen. Also, if one has spent "ten years" on this site, they have far TOOOOOOO much time on their hands!

Still trying to make up your own rules and force them onto the rest of the board? I hate to tell you but there are many posters on this board who are far more experienced in international relationships than you are and if they happen to not agree with what you have to say then we would like to hear their point of view as well. If you can't handle criticism of your 'techniques' then I suggest that you don't post on a public forum.

[Shadow_mas]

PREFACE: Again Gentlemen, contribute positive or don't contribute at all. 2nd, Don't HIDE behind your computer. If you do not have the coursge to say these things to a man "face-to face," why say it on the internet? 3rd, I am not using an ALIAS. My name is my name. 4th, speak for yourselves. No need to mention who someone else is on this site. Let them say who they are. All I asked for was positive contributions. Nevertheless, I knew this would happen. Also, if one has spent "ten years" on this site, they have far TOOOOOOO much time on their hands!

The rules of this board are our Values where discussion is encouraged.
Discussing the con has value as it brings new points of view, better as cheering while seeing the trains ready to crash.

http://www.planet-love.com/index.php?pid=29
FOR THOSE WHO CAN APPRECIATE THIS DISCUSSION:

One of the things that I have realized (my advice is not for everyone) is that a relationship is a partnership. That's right. That means WORK. Not meaningless tasks, easter egg hunts or baseball caps in Moscow. Work and sacrifice are the key themes here. A man should not blatently "assign" anything. These things are NEEDED (apartment, hotel, medical services, etc.) and not wanted (like a baseball cap).

I read one thread where a gentleman said that he had to eat a lot of "PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLEY SANDWICHES" in order to visit his girlfriend. This means that he is "working" for her. This means that he is making great sacrifice for her. As a result, he is making an INVESTMENT. Now my question to all those who can appreciate this kind of discussion is as follows: WHAT IS THE WOMAN INVESTING? If she has NO (zero) investment in you, what will she LOSE if the relationship ENDS (contrary to popular belief, relationships do end). She hasn't invested any TIME (some say that is child's play or meaningless tasks) and she DEFINITELY hasn't invested any MONEY. What does she have to lose?

-King Dphax
[/quote]
What she has to lose ? Her job, her education, her friends, her family, her current life.
Not on the first visit of a foreigner but when a relationship ends. She will either be in a strange country far away from het family trying to make a living, or have to go back an be seen as a loser.

What does she lose on a first visit ? Time. Yes, the time she spends with you is lost if there is no relationship developing. She loses the time she waited for you, and the time she spent with you. Money ? Yes, the money she spent on clothes and make-up to look better for you.
What do you lose on a first visit ? Money ? Yes, but if you can not afford that you should not have contacted the woman in the first place. Time ? Yes, the time you spend with her and the time it takes to make arrangements through the internet. Again time that if you can not afford to lose, you should not spend it.
What else is she investing ? A lot of emotions, and the risk of losing people around her who will declare her being a gold digger for hunting foreigners.

[Ray]

PREFACE: Again Gentlemen, contribute positive or don't contribute at all. 2nd, Don't HIDE behind your computer. If you do not have the coursge to say these things to a man "face-to face," why say it on the internet? 3rd, I am not using an ALIAS. My name is my name. 4th, speak for yourselves. No need to mention who someone else is on this site. Let them say who they are. All I asked for was positive contributions. Nevertheless, I knew this would happen. Also, if one has spent "ten years" on this site, they have far TOOOOOOO much time on their hands!

Here you go little man...

   

[Jeff S]

PREFACE: Again Gentlemen, contribute positive or don't contribute at all.

Good idea! So I'm sure that we can all agree that comments like this:

I want to hear YOUR "wisdom" as well, if you have any.

Don't meet the King Dphax criteria.

2nd, Don't HIDE behind your computer. If you do not have the coursge to say these things to a man "face-to face," why say it on the internet?

As I said in my previous post and I'll reiterate - I absolutely would say it to you face to face.

Also, if one has spent "ten years" on this site, they have far TOOOOOOO much time on their hands!

Now there a nice positive thing to say. I guess that doesn't meet the King Dphax criteria either, but I'll answer it anyway.

Yes! Many posters here, including myself have been posting here for nearly 10 years. It's called a "community." Now I don't know what level your education is, so let me put it into simple terms, so you can grasp the concept. It's a place where like minded individuals come together to help each other. We volunteer to do this. Many of us have responsible jobs and businesses, and post here anyway. Bear, for instance, is a busy engineering manager with a new family including three pre-school aged boys, yet he finds time to contribute. Trust me he does not have TOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much time on his hands, but nonetheless, he makes time to help others in the hopes that they can manage to find the kind of happiness he has. Why is that you find this contemptible?

FOR THOSE WHO CAN APPRECIATE THIS DISCUSSION:

ALL OF US CAN - GET IT? WHY IS IT THAT YOU CAN'T ACCEPT ANY DISAGREEMENT?

One of the things that I have realized (my advice is not for everyone)

You're exactly right. Most of the posters here aren't looking to learn how to survive as single men. They are more interested in being or becoming married men, therefore aren't particularly interested in following in your footsteps.

[Dave H]

KING DPHAX, Author, Investor, City Employee, City of Philadelphia

[Cbear]

KING DPHAX, Author, Investor, City Employee, City of Philadelphia

No wonder American woman treat us like chit !!!

[Fuzzyone]

PREFACE: Again Gentlemen, contribute positive or don't contribute at all. 2nd, Don't HIDE behind your computer. If you do not have the coursge to say these things to a man "face-to face," why say it on the internet? 3rd, I am not using an ALIAS. My name is my name. 4th, speak for yourselves. No need to mention who someone else is on this site. Let them say who they are. All I asked for was positive contributions. Nevertheless, I knew this would happen. Also, if one has spent "ten years" on this site, they have far TOOOOOOO much time on their hands!

FOR THOSE WHO CAN APPRECIATE THIS DISCUSSION:

One of the things that I have realized (my advice is not for everyone) is that a relationship is a partnership. That's right. That means WORK. Not meaningless tasks, easter egg hunts or baseball caps in Moscow. Work and sacrifice are the key themes here. A man should not blatently "assign" anything. These things are NEEDED (apartment, hotel, medical services, etc.) and not wanted (like a baseball cap).

I read one thread where a gentleman said that he had to eat a lot of "PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLEY SANDWICHES" in order to visit his girlfriend. This means that he is "working" for her. This means that he is making great sacrifice for her. As a result, he is making an INVESTMENT. Now my question to all those who can appreciate this kind of discussion is as follows: WHAT IS THE WOMAN INVESTING? If she has NO (zero) investment in you, what will she LOSE if the relationship ENDS (contrary to popular belief, relationships do end). She hasn't invested any TIME (some say that is child's play or meaningless tasks) and she DEFINITELY hasn't invested any MONEY. What does she have to lose?

-King Dphax

   Well it is funny how you back peddled from your first post. First you brought another members name into you subject for what ever reason. Second because I do not agree with you does not mean I am hiding from you, lets get real dude don't get your feelings hurt if guys here don't agree.

 ." I now TEST the ladies that I date. Before I arrive, I try to give them some kind
of TASK to complete for me."

   This is part of your first post I think it states perfectly what you meant and I did not see need any where in it.

   I really did not see a problem with the guy eating peanut and butter sandwiches, maybe he set a goal if that is what he had to do he did to ensure he completed that goal. So what do you think the woman is investing since you really like to ask and not answer?

[Researcher]

Now my question to all those who can appreciate this kind of discussion is as follows: WHAT IS THE WOMAN INVESTING? If she has NO (zero) investment in you, what will she LOSE if the relationship ENDS (contrary to popular belief, relationships do end). She hasn't invested any TIME (some say that is child's play or meaningless tasks) and she DEFINITELY hasn't invested any MONEY. What does she have to lose?

-King Dphax

                  King Dphax,
           
                By this statement I can tell that you are new at this. Women in these places usually don't have much to invest money wise.And as far as time goes, running around all over a city in places like these isn't always easy either.


           Researcher

[Researcher]

  If they just spent some time with them they will find out all they need instead of asking them to marry them the first day.
 
  Instead of thinking up test up here why not go visit her instead and see how she is. Keep thinking up test and all we will see is more of the single man books part 2 part 3 part 4.

   I agree because taking the time to get to know them is called "dating". That's the purpose of it, if you are looking to marry someone. Playing games usually backfires.


  Researcher