Life after the Visa

[Researcher]

On April 4 of this year my wife will be in the US for 5 months.Just the other day
she commented on how time seems to be passing by so fast.I have to agree with her.
The reason is that we have been too busy to notice what day or month it is.I would
have to consider that being busy is the reason many guys drop off PL after their
ladies are with them in their country. I had prepared before my wife arrived by finding
places for her to study english, planning for teaching her how to drive, getting spanish
speaking channels on cable,locating Catholic Churches in the area, and anything else
I could think of to make her transition here easier.Being active was the key for me
when I lived in Mexico and I think it has helped alot with her. She is the kind of person
that doesn't like to be idle for long. Learning more english,learning how to drive and
working on her Adjustment of Status(Green Card) have been the things we have been
concentrating alot on. Working on these things have been important because not only
are they necessary for her to be able to do things here it gives her a feeling that she is making progress and isn't "stuck". Recently she told me that she felt like she wasn't
accomplishing much and I pointed out her progress in these areas. She is alot more
comfortable with driving, I don't have to translate for her as much and I don't need to speak like Tarzan when I speak english to her like before.Also, the AOS stuff is going well.
       She does have her down days and I know that she misses her family but overall she has a great attitude.Probably the best way to describe it is by quoting something she said.About a month after she had hit a tree while driving(it was my fault) we had moved to a BIG vacant lot for her to practice.I told her how I noticed she was alot
more comfortable with the car and she seemed to be adjusting well to living here.She
answered "I consider some things in life are difficult but few things are impossible."
She is an exceptional woman from an exceptional family.Her brother recently received a kidney transplant he has been needing for a while.One of the delays was that all the other brothers and sisters(my wife included) wanted to be the donor.They argued for a while and decided to let the doctor decide who would be the best candidate.The oldest brother was the donor.The transplant was 2 weeks ago and both brothers are at home and doing well.This is a family that survives by sticking together and looking out for one another.The father ran out on them many years ago but they have survived with honor and integrity and they haven’t asked me for any money. It’s like someone once said: “adversity reveals character and genius while prosperity conceals both”. In places like Colombia I have found this to be true.
      There are several guys on PL that are looking for a woman. I would have to say
that looking was the easiest part for me. I finally learned that if things weren’t right
with a woman I needed to just walk away. I stuck with two great truths I have learned
over the years and they are: 1)Just because a woman is a hottie doesn’t mean I
should date her. 2)Just because I’m in love with a woman it doesn’t mean I should
marry her. I stayed picky and looked beyond a woman’s looks and how I felt about her. There were times I walked away only to wonder if I had done the right thing
and I wasn’t sure I did until I met my wife. Now I know that I did the right thing.
My wife is definitely the love of my life and I have never been happier. I wish that everybody here finds the same, if you haven’t already.

   Good luck to all!!

   Researcher

[satori]

Congratulations.  It's great that everything is going well.  Point #1 should be obvious to any intelligent guy (although many disregard), but point #2 is the real pearl of wisdom.  You will sometimes second guess yourself, but as you just demonstrated you will ultimately make out better.  Good luck to you!

[Pivery]

  Researcher,

 That sure is a nice story. It gives the rest of the guys here lurking or posting something to look forward to. I always considered marriage like running a business in the sense that it's understood that 95% of all businesses fail within the first 3 years. If you make it past that point, you've pretty much made it through the hardest times.

I am so happy for you two and I hope my lady and I can mirror your accomplishment. I also worry about her adjustment here in the states. I live in So. Cal. so most everything here even the streets are Spanish. But I too have been getting all the cable channels lined up and keeping the nest nice and clean for her.

However, I am completely devoted to her happiness. If she moves here and after a while does not like being here, we go back to BAQ. I love where I live, but she has to love it as well.

Anyways, I digress...

¡Mucho suerte en su matrimonio!

Pivery

[Researcher]

Congratulations.  It's great that everything is going well.  Point #1 should be obvious to any intelligent guy (although many disregard), but point #2 is the real pearl of wisdom.  You will sometimes second guess yourself, but as you just demonstrated you will ultimately make out better.  Good luck to you!

   You are right Satori, #1 should be a no brainer but it is difficult to actually do, it was for me anyway.I can see how any guy can end up with the wrong woman.It took will power for me to end relationships with women who were hotties but I knew deep down they were just no good for me.Only now am I thankful I did pass on several of them.

  Researcher

[Red Clay]

Researcher, you are correct about being too busy to spend as much time on the forum once she has arrived. I check in here fairly often, but post less than I used to.

Sounds like you found a good one, it's good that she is motivated to acclimate as quickly as possible.