plan A and plan B found out about each other.

[singlefather no more]

WOW Dave!  I think you're right.

'ex' singlefather, I bet your one happy guy since he came over here to bother us.  Oh yeah I bet being married had a bit to do with it too .

The Bear Family

Yeah Bear but I married a girl very much younger then me. When she was still 18 , I was turning 33.. lol

.

[Bear]

Sssssshhh!  The age police will get you!  They have an informant on this board.  can't say the name but he's pretty obvious in his bias opinions and 'stuck 'n' American culture' style logic.  Doubt if he'll ever be happy.

[Dave H]

Yeah Bear but I married a girl very much younger then me. When she was still 18 , I was turning 33.. lol

.

Hey SF,

I once married a girl who was 18 and I was 26. We were shopping for her wedding dress and an old Latina thought that she was looking for a Quince's (Quinceañera) dress. When she found out we were getting married, the old lady screamed "Que ANIMAL!!!" and proceeded to scream and beat me with her umbrella.  I ducked and covered my head. It took 3 women to pull her off!  Even when they explained my wife to be was 18, not 15, she still couldn't calm down.

Dave

I guess it would have been OK if she was one of these young douche bags!



Funny, I got more bad attitudes from Hispanics while being married to a Latina than I ever have from Filipinos now that I'm married to a Filipina, even in the Philippines! The few FemNazis I see will sometimes give me a look. I just laugh and start to approach them. They move away fast! Momma's in the Philippines, time to grow back my biker beard.

[Bear]

yeah but that was just the truth and it didn't hurt.

The Bear Family

[jm21-2]

bcc,

Dude you are being a real jerk on the Asian forum.. From reading threads for the 2-3 last weeks all I read is you attacking Asian board posters about liking young women . As has been mentioned get a life..

From reading you like to stir up s*** on both boards..

The guys here on the Asian board are happy with their choices and we don't need your holy then our attitude about older guys and younger women ( be it 18 , 19 or 21).

This argument has gone on and on.. How about you agree to disagree and head back to your own board and let these Adults talk about Asian board topics.. Grow up..

You don't see any of these guys coming over to the Latin board and running down guys..

..

C'mon, the board claims to be so anti-"PC", but when it comes to their choices all of a sudden it's "don't rock the boat or offend people in anyway."

[singlefather no more]

Hey SF,

I once married a girl who was 18 and I was 26. We were shopping for her wedding dress and an old Latina thought that she was looking for a Quince's (Quinceañera) dress. When she found out we were getting married, the old lady screamed "Que ANIMAL!!!" and proceeded to scream and beat me with her umbrella.  I ducked and covered my head. It took 3 women to pull her off!  Even when they explained my wife's age, she still couldn't calm down.

Dave

I told my wife that when she comes to Canada I am going to give some Fem / Nazi's a heart attack..

So when did you two meet and get married ?

Well we got married when she was 18 and I was turning 33..

lol

..

[Heruamen]

you know Dave i was thinking the same thing about bcc comments that you were, i just didn't want to say it, but he sounds like an undercover femenazi.   And some comments made by jm 21 whatever his name is made me check and make sure that i was still on the goodwife forum and not some femnazi flame website.    Glad you had the cajones to say what some of us were feeling.

[Dave H]

Hey Heruman,

They may be sorority sisters!

Dave

Speaking of sorority sisters...here are 3 taking on some lucky old dude!  I think he is losing on purpose!

[jm21-2]

Last time I checked, this was a board to come to for honest and candid advice on seeking a foreign bride, not a smarmy back-slapping club.

[Bear]

Is that what you call it when someone takes over 4 different threads with the same tired ol' lie and repeats it over and over and over for pages and pages and pages like he's some expert behind his I'm 'blind/deaf' glasses/ear plugs even though nearly everyone has commented that he's wrong.

This board is about people who are trying to find a path to happiness not reinforce the feminazi 'talking points' of a failed part of this culture.  If we support each other with 'swarmy backslapping', we deserve it.  When you've gone through a divorce caused by such as he then maybe you'll understand.

The Bear Family

[Jeff S]

You're absolutely right, but recognize that the advice that each person offers up, is from their own viewpoint, not absolutes. You can use all the hard logic from your personal life and statistics you want, but it's still based on YOUR experiences, not those of others. This endeavor is about one person meeting one person, not statistics or overall truisms. The fact remains, that quite a few people on this board have met, married and had their marriages endure with young, even teenage women. Most of the men this happened to didn't set out specifically to meet a teenager, it just worked out that way. I have yet to read about someone who was specifically targeting teenagers. Part of enjoying life is bucking statistics and trends, not blindly following them.

Seriously now, what would YOU do if you ran into a charming, sexy Chinese girl, who was everything you wanted in a woman, who you could talk to for hours at a time and came across to you as mature, intelligent, capable, and you couldn't wait to talk to again? Then you found out she was only 19. Tell her to go packing? Tell her that you have a hard and fast rule that no one under 24 is allowed to compete for your affection?

Maybe it's gross for you to think about a 68 year old guy marrying a 20 year old, or a 60 year old guy marrying a 19 year old, (two actual cases from the archives here) but their marriages are lasting, and here quite a few years later they're happy and still very much in-love. One poster who was here only briefly, told us that his wife lied and tell him she was 18 when she was really 16. They'd raised two kids and were still happily married after 20 years. It happens - intentionally, accidentally, whatever. More often than not the woman is as much or more complicit in the pursuit than the man.

My point is that this is not a hard and fast issue.

[jm21-2]

You're absolutely right, but recognize that the advice that each person offers up, is from their own viewpoint, not absolutes. You can use all the hard logic from your personal life and statistics you want, but it's still based on YOUR experiences, not those of others. This endeavor is about one person meeting one person, not statistics or overall truisms. The fact remains, that quite a few people on this board have met, married and had their marriages endure with young, even teenage women. Most of the men this happened to didn't set out specifically to meet a teenager, it just worked out that way. I have yet to read about someone who was specifically targeting teenagers. Part of enjoying life is bucking statistics and trends, not blindly following them.

Seriously now, what would YOU do if you ran into a charming, sexy Chinese girl, who was everything you wanted in a woman, who you could talk to for hours at a time and came across to you as mature, intelligent, capable, and you couldn't wait to talk to again? Then you found out she was only 19. Tell her to go packing? Tell her that you have a hard and fast rule that no one under 24 is allowed to compete for your affection?

Yes, statistics are just statistics, but I think there is a great deal of common sense involved here too. I stopped posting on this thread for a while because it was obvious these guys were set and it was pointless arguing with them.

I find it strange that their choice just "happened" to be the youngest girl they were communicating with. Hey, I'm a guy. I'm actually very masculine in my thinking (though I generally keep that to myself, being in a profession dominated by feminism). I know all about wanting a young girl, especially a virgin. Trust me, it's a much stronger urge in me than it is for any of these guys. But when I step back and let the big head control instead of hormones I realize shooting for a young girl who is pure/inexperienced is not such a great idea.

I don't really get how you don't know her age at first anyways when you're dating online and her age is on the front page.

All the 18-19yo girls I talk with are obviously not ready to settle down. Have there been some who I really liked? Well yeah, they're young, fun, and cute. Sometimes very intelligent and sophisticated even. Most have dated guys older than me. Does that mean they're ready to settle down with me in a small town in NW Washington and raise a family? HELLLL NO. They're just starting to spread their wings. They've just started to taste life. Let them experience it a bit and figure out what they really want in life, and have the experience to deal with life's obstacles.

Take a hard example. Cbear says one of the reasons he chose his "plan A" was because of how she wanted to treat the other girl. He paints it as pure and nice. I paint it as damned inexperienced. That's like the silly teenage girl who says "oh, you should be friends with your ex-girlfriend!" Any girl with a wit of experience knows that's idiotic.

Maybe if I was just looking for a girl to do the cooking, cleaning, and [snip]ing, I wouldn't worry so much. Cbear stated quite plainly that he doesn't feel this girl is his intellectual equal. I guess he's just looking for a meat puppet, and maybe she's looking for security. Piglett basically stated that's what he was looking for in a relationship. I suppose things might work out for them, but I'd hesitate on calling them partners.

Maybe it's gross for you to think about a 68 year old guy marrying a 20 year old, or a 60 year old guy marrying a 19 year old, (two actual cases from the archives here) but their marriages are lasting, and here quite a few years later they're happy and still very much in-love. One poster who was here only briefly, told us that his wife lied and tell him she was 18 when she was really 16. They'd raised two kids and were still happily married after 20 years. It happens - intentionally, accidentally, whatever. More often than not the woman is as much or more complicit in the pursuit than the man.

My point is that this is not a hard and fast issue.

I do think it's gross for a 60yo to marry a 20yo. I'd bet that the vast majority of people in the world do. Ray mentioned in another thread that IMBs got a bad rep because they were introducing 15-16 year old girls. Let me tell you, if they were introducing 16yo girls to 16yo guys, no one would really give a damn. The reason there was an uproar was because it was old guys going to a poor country and marrying much younger girls who are looking for security. It doesn't really matter whether it's 50 and 16 or 50 and 18.

Hey, there are some pretty good arguments that those nike sweatshops were good for the children working in them. It doesn't make the idea of a sweatshop any more appealing.

[Jeff S]

I have no clue what wanting an "intellectual equal" means. Again you've fallen into the modern feminist mindset that men and women are interchangeable. The truth is that we're hard wired differently. Five minutes watching preschool children should convince you of that. Because someone falls in love with someone not as intelligent as he or she, doesn't automatically mean they're looking for a meat puppet servant. My wife's mind works in an entirely different way than mine, her interests and talents are entirely different than mine, and the two of us together make a great team - each doing what we do best. That's how marriage is supposed to work. Each contributes the things they do best. She knows nothing about engineering, and very little about business, but knows lots about nutrition, art music, decorating, and gourmet cooking. Managing the home, home finances, and being the primary child raiser is what my wife does well, likes doing, and wants to do. Don't fall into the feminist mantra saying that makes her some king of unpaid domestic sex slave forgoing her true potential. That's no more true than me working every day so we can afford a nice home, vacations, and dining makes me some kind of slave to the family.

I don't really get how you don't know her age at first anyways when you're dating online and her age is on the front page.

I'm sure every girl on the dating sites is as accurate with her age as with her weight. More than half of the marriages of the regulars here didn't start with a dating site. Personal introductions, accidental meetings, and chat rooms accounted for more than straight dating sites.

Your local feminazis think you're being pretty gross chasing after some subserviant sex slave halfway across the world, too. My daughter thinks fishing is gross, but she sure enjoys eating the fish.

[jm21-2]

I have no clue what wanting an "intellectual equal" means. Again you've fallen into the modern feminist mindset that men and women are interchangeable. The truth is that we're hard wired differently. Five minutes watching preschool children should convince you of that. Because someone falls in love with someone not as intelligent as he or she, doesn't automatically mean they're looking for a meat puppet servant. My wife's mind works in an entirely different way than mine, her interests and talents are entirely different than mine, and the two of us together make a great team - each doing what we do best. That's how marriage is supposed to work. Each contributes the things they do best. She knows nothing about engineering, and very little about business, but knows lots about nutrition, art music, decorating, and gourmet cooking. Managing the home, home finances, and being the primary child raiser is what my wife does well, likes doing, and wants to do. Don't fall into the feminist mantra saying that makes her some king of unpaid domestic sex slave forgoing her true potential. That's no more true than me working every day so we can afford a nice home, vacations, and dining makes me some kind of slave to the family.

I took his comment to mean that he felt she was much less mature than him, not that she was dumber than him. That they were at very different stages of life.

I have always agreed with you on this point for the most part Jeff. But no, I wouldn't want a girl I had to lead by the hand everywhere because she was a retard, and I'm pretty sure you wouldn't either. From everything I've heard from you, your wife is well-educated, sophisticated, and more likely than not quite intelligent. You mention your wife is knowledgeable nutrition, art, music, decorating, and gourmet cooking. She doesn't sound like a dunce to me.

I am not looking for a wife who's an engineer, but that doesn't mean I'm looking for a wife that's on a lower level than me. I want a wife who will complement me well.

I don't want a house-wife who doesn't have the aptitude, ambition, or intelligence to cook a decent meal. I don't want to have to explain everything to her multiple times because she doesn't get it. Nor do I want a child who I have to guide all the time. There's a big difference between wanting someone who's roughly equal (but different) and wanting a fellow worker bee.

In any case. When I see guys saying the prime attractors for them are the girl's age, virginity, and naivete, I can't help but think they are letting their hormones and baggage control. Those are not strong points of the girl, they are just part of her age.

[Cbear]

I am convinced that jm21-2 is a woman liberal femanazi. he is spewing the exact same crap I read on those feminists websites.

I notice he keeps saying 18 year olds and now he even brought 15 and 16 year olds into the discussion.

WE are talking about a woman who is going to be 21 when she marries, she is educated and defiantly has her own mind.

Is she going to be a slave for me or a maid, no. She wants to work at least for a few years when she gets here, so I guess I will be doing my fair share of the cooking and cleaning and raising the kids. Nurses work terrible hours so when I am home (my job is going to be offshore) I will take most of the household responsibilities.


You say I want her just for meat, buddy you should see some of the girls I turned away that were so freakin hot they burned my eyes looking at them. Yes she is attractive but her mind and personality are what did it for me. We talked for 5 HOURS this morning non stop. We never get bored and the only reason we stop is because one of us has to sleep.

As for her compassion. Yeah, thats huge. I will grant you that I think her asking me to remain friends with her was naive. However, it showed her true heart. This is the kind of woman I want to marry. Of course I broke it off completely with plan B. But I did do it as nicely as I could.

I just don't understand why my bride has to be equal to me. My parents aren't and they have been married almost 50 years now. My mother puts my father to shame in intellect, but they somehow managed to get along for all these years.


Again you say my girl is looking for security, she doesn't need me for security, she get out of PI on her own. She isn't dirt poor, jeez, she has gone to private schools her entire life, she gets excellent grades and has family that can help her.

But even if she was just looking for security, so what? She is an adult and can make adult decisions. Hell, we have 17 year olds who have joined our military and have died in combat for this country. (HEROES EVERYONE OF THEM) Were they naive when they signed up? Should would make the age to join 25 since they haven't lived long enough to know what they want?

Maybe we should make all the universities give the first 2 years of college free because the young people just don't know what they really want to major in and it isn't their fault (because they don't have enough life experience) they just spent 20K on an education that isn't what they want.

But wait, many 18 year olds know exactly what they want, they go to school for exactly the major they want and never look back.


Don't you see how stupid your argument is?

[jm21-2]

I am convinced that jm21-2 is a woman liberal femanazi. he is spewing the exact same crap I read on those feminists websites.

Haha. I went to one of the most liberal law schools in the country and was the only guy to debate the feminists in my classes. I don't think I qualify as one.

The age of majority in many (most, all?) parts of the US used to be 21. If you signed a contract when you were 19 you could void it when you were 20 because the law said you were a child and too young to know what you were getting into. That is the traditional American way of thinking. This new idea of an 18yo being ready to sign contracts, vote, etc. is rubbish. Yes I do think they should not allow recruiting of kids under 21. I know plenty of guys who wanted to or did join the military when they were in high school and none of them knew what they were getting into.

But wait, many 18 year olds know exactly what they want, they go to school for exactly the major they want and never look back.

Some trudge through, get married, and feel they need to keep the job they don't really like. But by the time they're 25 or so almost everyone has changed or is changing careers. I don't know anyone my age who is doing the same thing they went to college for.


Man, you went on for several posts about virginity this, virginity that, how important it was to you, how pure and naive she is. You would leave her after the wedding night if she wasn't a virgin. No, that doesn't sound like her age and virginity are big factors to you at all. 

There are plenty of 18/19 year old girls who I enjoy talking with. Who I can talk with for hours on end without getting bored. That doesn't mean they're excellent marriage prospects.

[Cbear]

Her virginity is important because it is important to her, and the studies i read do tend to paint a picture that a virgin will be more faithful than a non virgin.

However, she was the only girl on my short list of about 10 girls that was a virgin. But I spoke to many other that were as well. The oldest I talked to was a very cute 25 year old school teacher. She didn't make the short list. Too boring to keep my interest.

I never said I wanted her because she was naive, not one time did I say that. The fact that she is pure does have an attraction, I would be lying if I said it didn't. But that isn't what put her over the top. It was her caring personality and the fact that we never get bored with each other, what is that worth in a relationship.

Like I have stated before, we have a long time to talk and court before a marriage. If there are going to be any problems, I am sure we will encounter them in the next year or two. What gets me is that you think I shouldn't even be considering her because she is 18 now, even though marriage is at least 2 years away. My opinion is this, if we are still together and feel like we do now for each other , then yes I am going to marry her. Why wouldn't I? Right now she is a dream come true. A woman who is truly my friend and who is as nice and sweet as she can be. She is marriage material.

I am still po'ed about the meat comment. Obviously you don't know me. I do not believe in pre marital sex, so lets see, I am not going to be having sex of any kind for at least 2 more years. If I needed meat I would just marry one of the other girls I have talked to and dinner is served. I am sure there are other 18 year old girls there who would marry me tomorrow if I wanted. But of course that is not what this girl is to me. For you not to see that is stupidity on your part. A man who wants meat doesn't wait 2 years for it.

I want a lifetime partner who is also my best friend and right now this girl is it. I am willing to wait for that.

[Ray]

I don't really get how you don't know her age at first anyways when you're dating online and her age is on the front page.

In my case, I was introduced through a friend here, her 1st cousin. I asked how old she was and was told around 42-43. After writing, I found out she was actually only 33.

I guess he's just looking for a meat puppet, and maybe she's looking for security.

Even if that were the case, why are you so concerned?? As long as two consenting ADULTS decide to marry, for whatever reasons, why should you or anyone else care when you don’t even know them??

I do think it's gross for a 60yo to marry a 20yo.

O.K., so now we’re finally getting to your real motivation…you think it’s “gross”.

Ray mentioned in another thread that IMBs got a bad rep because they were introducing 15-16 year old girls.

It doesn't really matter whether it's 50 and 16 or 50 and 18.

No jm, the reason that the IMBs were getting into trouble is because a 15-year-old is a MINOR CHILD, and NOT because of the age difference for the parties involved.

Yes, it DOES matter when the girl is underage (less than 18) but once she is 18 and a LEGAL ADULT, I have no problem with that personally.

Ray

[singlefather no more]

I stopped posting on this thread for a while because it was obvious these guys were set and it was pointless arguing with them.

jm-21 & bcc ,

Read that 10 times.. This is pointless you trying to make points because you guys are starting to sound like TROLLS by going on and on.. We get you don't like older men and younger women.. Now drop it..

You both are personally attacking some posters here..

I think it is against the rules of this site and decorum to make any negative comments about another posters wife , fiancee , girlfriend or chat female friend..

You guys have been doing that when you making Bear and other defend their wives , girlfriends and their love interest choices..

You both should be ashamed of yourselves and especially you bcc.. I hope you enjoyed attacking other men and their loved ones & love interests..


.

[bcc_1_2]

jm-21 & bcc ,

 We get you don't like older men and younger women.. .

That's not true.

[piglett]

Maybe if I was just looking for a girl to do the cooking, cleaning, and [snip]ing, I wouldn't worry so much. Cbear stated quite plainly that he doesn't feel this girl is his intellectual equal. I guess he's just looking for a meat puppet, and maybe she's looking for security. Piglett basically stated that's what he was looking for in a relationship. I suppose things might work out for them, but I'd hesitate on calling them partners.

Maybe in earlier posts i was not clear , or maybe you are trying to twist my words.
so let me put this in clearer terms.
I will marry a lady between 18 & 25 and i don't give a sweet sh*t who likes it!!!
I will marry a pinay lady who is a virgin,this way i know she is not a former bar girl!!!
I will marry a lady who has enough education so that in the event that i take a "dirt nap" she will be able to take care of herself!!!
I also like the idea of a lady that has enough education that she would be able to get a good job in the event of me getting hurt or how about if i was told that i had cancer & i was unable to work for a year while i was undergoing treatment.
I started working when i was 13 years old & i will continue to do so until i am an old man & i retire
I am going not going to sit home on my ass while my wife is out working 3 jobs

everyone has strength's & weaknesses
I had a problem today with the sewer line for my house
I turned out that it was mostly frozen & full of ice
so should i marry a lady who is a plummer??
NO
that is something i can do
I dug up the dam thing & replaced the pipe
in the spring i will put it deeper in the ground so it will not freeze again
i will be able to do things that my wife can't & she will be able to do things that i can't
we will work together
BUT i will decide what direction WE will go
I will be in charge of steering the ship
Will we be equal? equal to what ? & who decides?
I will never stop learning
i know a hell of a lot more now than when i was young
so i would expect my future wife to also continue to learn as she gets older

If anyone doesn't like the way i intend to do things then they can go jump in the lake
the good news is that i live in "the lakes region " of new Hampshire, so there are plenty of lakes to choose from
the bad news is all the lakes are covered with 3 feet of ice so you had better bring something to chop a hole in the ice before you jump in it:)

take care all
piglett 


  

[Heruamen]

hahahhaahhaha i think we saw pigletts fiery side.    That was a good one piglett.   I read Jeff s two previous post and they showed timeless wisdom.  I noticed that jm and bcc didnt really respond to that.   jeff s you articulated what was in my heart but i could not put it into words.   Cbear please stop defending yourself to these guys because they will never understand.  They claim to be so young yet they are set in their beliefs and will not change right now.  You are wasting your time and energy.   I have no idea why it is so important for them to try to make someone feel bad about their choice of woman.  Just let it go and live your life.
    Be more concerned about finding yourself a good woman and dont worry about cbears choice.  His life his destiny no body wants to follow your little formula.  Jm and bcc i suggest you sit down and watch the matrix a couple of hundred times until you get the point "free your mind" unplug from the matrix please unless you have some other hidden agenda?

[Cbear]

Dang piglett, why are you holding back? LOL

I guess I'm defending my choice because she is my choice. Does that make any sense?

I don't mind doing it either, maybe someone can learn from it.

I want to answer about why I didn't know her age at first. That is because on the site we were on they don't put the age on the chat listing, just a picture. I saw a picture of her which made her look older than she is, she was cute so I began chatting with her, I didn't even look at her profile for several days and only then because she sent me a message through that sites email. I actually thought she was about 22 or 23.

After I saw how old she was I was already beginning to like her, so I just continued talking to her. That was almost 2 months ago and we have talked everyday since then.

[jm21-2]

SF, I have been posting here a little too long to be a troll. Don't get all touchy-feely please.

Ray, the point is an 18yo is only a consenting adult by our current laws. In some places a 14yo can marry...so that makes 14yos consenting adults? BCC and I were both making the point that although our laws consider an 18yo a fully mature adult (except for drinking) that's really not the case. And duh, seeing a 60yo and a 20yo is gross. Just like seeing 2 guys making out on the street is gross. You're never going to convince me a 20yo who's marrying a 60yo did it for his looks.

Heruaman, I generally agree with Jeff. I agree with the general principles he set forth in his post. I think the cases in this thread stretch those principles too far.

Cbear & Piglett: OK. The most important things to you are youth and virginity. I get it already. In my book, that means "meat puppet." Good luck to you both. Hopefully you'll man up and admit it someday (as I believe Piglett has).

This thread has gone on too long and I shouldn't have started in again. This will be my last post here.

[piglett]

Hey there comes a time when you have to let it all hang out so i say
WHY NOT RITE NOW
you can not please all the people all the time
& you can never please jm & bcc
so why try
i was doing just fine before i ever heard from them
& i will still be doing just fine when they are long gone