I need help and getting desperate

[one350z]

I have been very patient as we all have for our paperwork to be processed by our government.  Currently my wife is VVVVERRRYYY homesick!  Currently, we have her work permit coming.  THis is not enough.  She is nearly ready to just go home regardless of what the results are.  I have done my best to explain things but she will not here it.  Who can I talk to?  Please!

[Ray]

Is she a fiancée visa holder?

If she must go home and she hasn't had her Green Card approved yet, then make sure she has an Advance Parole (Form I-131) first.

Without that, she won't be able to get on the plane to return to the States and you will have to start EVERYTHING all over from scratch.

The Advance Parole fee should have been included in the AOS filing fee. If you didn't apply for that, either wait for her Green Card or file the I-131 now.

If you need help with your marriage then I would contact a Marriage/Family Counselor now.

Ray

[sabound]

perhaps you can find another colombian lady that can help explain in a different way that you have tried . You can't blame her for being homesick , this is a natural cause .. what ray has suggested is very good also . I was down that road once , and after time it was better that I sent her back when I did . Saved a lot of headaches down the road . Hope that is not your case .. 

[bcc_1_2]

I'm curious since I haven't gone through this process before... and it seems ONE350 is dealing with it right now. How long of a time period (just an estimate) is it from the point she got married to when you can finally go back and see family and friends?

I guess it just leaves me with a lot of questions. That and I can't help but play devils advocate. It is just missing everyone in Colombia? Is she a lot more homesick than she first expected? Did she not know in advance how long it would be? Or.... on a very off chance... could it be problems within the relationship manifesting itself in this way.

I have no idea of course. but i am curious.

[Chris F]

I'm curious since I haven't gone through this process before... and it seems ONE350 is dealing with it right now. How long of a time period (just an estimate) is it from the point she got married to when you can finally go back and see family and friends?

I guess it just leaves me with a lot of questions. That and I can't help but play devils advocate. It is just missing everyone in Colombia? Is she a lot more homesick than she first expected? Did she not know in advance how long it would be? Or.... on a very off chance... could it be problems within the relationship manifesting itself in this way.

I have no idea of course. but i am curious.

My wife did not return home for a year and a half after she arrived and she was ok with that. While she misses her family, she knew the importance of establishing  a life with me here in the states She did and still does talk to her mom and family about three times a week. We have gone back to visit one other time since the three years she has been here.

In my opinion, if a woman wants to go home so badly after being here for only a few months when she is just starting her new life in the states....one of two possibilities are occurring. Number one-The relationship is having problems or Number Two- she was not mature enough or ready to deal with starting a new life in a new country.

[bcc_1_2]

My wife did not return home for a year and a half after she arrived and she was ok with that. While she misses her family, she knew the importance of establishing  a life with me here in the states She did and still does talk to her mom and family about three times a week. We have gone back to visit one other time since the three years she has been here.

In my opinion, if a woman wants to go home so badly after being here for only a few months when she is just starting her new life in the states....one of two possibilities are occurring. Number one-The relationship is having problems or Number Two- she was not mature enough or ready to deal with starting a new life in a new country.

This is why I'm glad I found this forum. Being interested in latinas is one thing, but going out and doing it is certainly another. Being in my mid 20s one of my major concerns is someone just not mature enough to move away from family and friends and only be able to do an in person visit once or twice a year at most.

[Bear]

Does she call home much?  If not, grab the phone right now, a lot of guys give phone cards as part of their wives Christmas presents.  If she does call home a lot, then something else is the matter.

The Bear Family

[one350z]

Hello and thank you for all your quick responses.  Currently, my wife has a very strong desire to return paticularly since it is the holiday season.  In Cali where my wife is from Christmas is a no holds barred holiday.  Here it is quite popular, however it has never been a holiday I have been interested in.  So, this is part of the problem and I am doing my best to have a sincere interest.  Currently, she does speak with her family almost daily via the telephone and internet.  But there is nothing ever like being home.  The transistion is incredibly difficult for people, she has done quite well and I am proud of her.  But, this process is entirely to long in some instances and mot long enough in others.  One thing that I have noticed is when you apply for a visa now you are also applying for a Social Security card.  This has been a huge problem for us.  Everything relates around this here in our country.  But back to my issue; who do I talk with to make this happen?  WE need to have this process much speedier.  Do  I contact my Congressman or my Senator?  My wife is an incredible woman and  I feel fortunate to have such a lovely wife.  But, she has needs that need to be met and this process is holding up her life and mine. 

[one350z]

I would like to add that my wife has been here for ten months now.  She is an incredible woman however we here in the UNited States can not truly appreciate the difficulty that our women face in coming here.  Granted this is the most difficult time in the first year, also things are not really that good currently here in the UNited States but this is not my point.  What I am saying is could you imagine moving to another country where everything is different.  To start with the social habits,food,government,etc.  I traveled to Europe in 2002 for 5 weeks.  I thanked God and kissed the ground when I came home.  And I was only gone for 5 weeks.  My wife is doing fantastic considering all this.  My wife and I have known eachother coming up on 5 years now.  We have established a pretty good relationship.  SHe is not running from me.  Back to the beginning here is how can I,you,we change this process?  Our wives are stuck in a process that impedes on their lives which in turn can hurt us and our relationships.  We are the most difficult country in the world.  Even though we are the best at a great many things and I am proud to be American.  WE need an easier process.

[utopiacowboy]

My wife is going back for a visit to Colombia after five years away. Her focus is on her life here not her old life back in Colombia. Of course she is a lot older than most of the wives gringos select having had an independent life for many years.

[Dave H]

Is she a fiancée visa holder?

If she must go home and she hasn't had her Green Card approved yet, then make sure she has an Advance Parole (Form I-131) first.

Without that, she won't be able to get on the plane to return to the States and you will have to start EVERYTHING all over from scratch.

The Advance Parole fee should have been included in the AOS filing fee. If you didn't apply for that, either wait for her Green Card or file the I-131 now.

If you need help with your marriage then I would contact a Marriage/Family Counselor now.

Ray

Hey one350z,

As Ray said, you might consider applying for Advanced Parole (Travel Document) if you didn't already. When my wife applied for AOS, we also applied for Advanced Parole and her work permit. She got the advanced parole the next week. Several months later she was able to return to the Philippines for a sister's wedding, prior to receiving her Green Card. http://www.uscis.gov/portal/site/uscis/menuitem.5af9bb95919f35e66f614176543f6d1a/?vgnextoid=b11747a55773d010VgnVCM10000048f3d6a1RCRD&vgnextchannel=db029c7755cb9010VgnVCM10000045f3d6a1RCRD

Good luck!

Dave

[one350z]

Hi, and again thank you,  We did apply for the advanced parole but this was a long time ago.  We are do according to emails her work permit this coming week.  THe problem is it has been 7 months.  That is a long time out of someone's life to just be in limbo.  She is a go getter!  She wants to be in college right now, her english still needs some work but she is and has been attending english classes regularly.  DO any of you think that this time frame is ridiculous considering all of the time we already spent waiting getting our loved ones into the country?  DO we not have any rights anymore?  If we choose to marry someone and we have done all the regulatory things for entrance into the United States. It should be done at that point of marriage.  We should have to send in some paperwork I agree, however, to basically start the process over again is ridiculous.  This does nothing but put peoples lives on hold and prevent all us "little corporations " for the government from putting more tax dollars into the system.  I understand now that you fill out social security paperwork now for entrance for marriage visas.  THis did not help me though, we filled out our paperwork before this became an option.  Truly, I do need help contacting someone that can get this to go.  DO you think it would be appropriate to send a message to the below address?

Chief, Regulatory Management Division, U.S.
Citizenship and Immigration Services, Department of Homeland Security, 111 Massachusetts Avenue, NW., Suite 3008, Washington, DC 20529

[catz]

Go online and make an InfoPass appointment at the closest office to you. Take all your stuff with you and tell them about the delay in getting the Advance Parole. This document should only take 3 to 4 months max. We got ours (several years ago now) in less than 2 months IIRC.

[Ray]

Go online and make an InfoPass appointment at the closest office to you. Take all your stuff with you and tell them about the delay in getting the Advance Parole. This document should only take 3 to 4 months max. We got ours (several years ago now) in less than 2 months IIRC.

Ditto what catz said.

Forget about sending messages to CIS. Make that InfoPass appt TODAY. They can issue her an Advance Parole on the spot if they want to and she could fly home the same day. Show them a copy of all your AOS paperwork that you submitted, including the I-131. If they give you a ration, then you can contact your congess-bozo.

You can't do any more than that to speed things up unless she has a bonafide, verifiable family emergency back home.

DO NOT let her go home without the Advance Parole or a Green Card!!

Ray


Ther are some sacrifices that

[michaelb]

Did she come as a fiancee or a spouse? Used to be a fiancee was eligible for a SSN and work authorization immediately, even before you got married. But NOT eligible to return to the US should she leave until 1) you got married and the 2) AOS was approved OR 1) you got married and 2) AOS was applied for and 3) advance parole was approved. They may have changed the law since my wife arrived, a little over five years ago, Ray and William keep up with that stuff, I'm just saying 'This is the was it was when we did it'.

BTW, my wife is in Colombia right now, just got off the phone with her. Reckon she's coming back, she did last time, and any way, she left most of her stuff here. (attempted humor there). 

[Chris F]

As most of us know.....Immigration Services doubled and tripled their fees in 2008. Their rationale was to process applications more quickly. Yet... One350z applied for advanced parole more then SEVEN MONTHS AGO and he still has no answer from immigration.

Immigration processing is a very expensive joke.

[utopiacowboy]

Hi, and again thank you,  We did apply for the advanced parole but this was a long time ago.  We are do according to emails her work permit this coming week.  THe problem is it has been 7 months.  That is a long time out of someone's life to just be in limbo.  She is a go getter!  She wants to be in college right now, her english still needs some work but she is and has been attending english classes regularly.  DO any of you think that this time frame is ridiculous considering all of the time we already spent waiting getting our loved ones into the country?  DO we not have any rights anymore?  If we choose to marry someone and we have done all the regulatory things for entrance into the United States. It should be done at that point of marriage.  We should have to send in some paperwork I agree, however, to basically start the process over again is ridiculous.  This does nothing but put peoples lives on hold and prevent all us "little corporations " for the government from putting more tax dollars into the system.  I understand now that you fill out social security paperwork now for entrance for marriage visas.  THis did not help me though, we filled out our paperwork before this became an option.  Truly, I do need help contacting someone that can get this to go.  DO you think it would be appropriate to send a message to the below address?

Chief, Regulatory Management Division, U.S.
Citizenship and Immigration Services, Department of Homeland Security, 111 Massachusetts Avenue, NW., Suite 3008, Washington, DC 20529

It's infuriating, no doubt about it. The only way they feel the heat is to complain to your senators and congressman - some have more interest than others.

[michaelb]

It's infuriating, no doubt about it. The only way they feel the heat is to complain to your senators and congressman - some have more interest than others.

Kay Bailey Hutchison, Senator, Texas, Republican
Dr. Michael Burgess, MD, Member of Congress, Texas 26th, Republican

Are both totally worthless in this regard, don't know for sure about any others.

[utopiacowboy]

I can testify that she is worthless. Of course so is Sen. John Cornyn and Lamar Smith. In fact most Republicans absolutely hate and despise immigrants of any kind, legal or illegal. So you're not going to get much help from them. I write them anyway telling them that I am working hard for their defeat because of their attitudes. And I badmouth them to everyone. When Texas is majority Latino, they're all going in the wastebasket of history!

[michaelb]

I don't know about most R's, those are the only two I asked. Kay Bailey's assistant  told me face to face how she feels about us loser guys who go to Russia to marry women much too young for us, whom we can't even converse with anyway. I told her 1) My fiancee is in Colombia, not Russia 2) She's 44 yo, 3) I speak her language, very well, thank you and 4) You shouldn't let your personal prejudices interfere with the performance of your job. Then she made me fill out a form, authorizing their office to have access to the particulars of the case. For some reason, I never heard from their office again (imagine that). At Burgess's office, they were more polite, but said they would have to mail me the form, and they never did.

One thing humorous, ironic, what ever term you prefer. Kay Bailey's web site at the time had a 'Your Senator gets things done!' type article, about her 'cutting red tape' to get visas for 2 Russian hockey players to come play for the Dallas Stars (guess recruiting athletes from Russia is OK with her assistant, just not spouses). Anyway, I mentioned that to our resident Yellow Dog at work and he said "Perhaps Mr. Hicks' contribution to her re-election campaign was more significant than yours?"  Methinks he might have been pretty close to the truth.

[zack]

one350z,

My wife has been here in the states for over one year now. There were several "episodes" where she missed her family severely, to the point where it concerned me. That is normal. Christmas is one of those times, and she is feeling it this year too. But overall she is getting better regarding this.

If your wife needs a pep talk, my wife is willing to talk with her. Send me a PM if you are interested.

Zack

[Kiltboy1]

When I was having problems with the US Consulate in Ecuador, I contacted both my Congressman(Howard Coble) and Senator ( Recently defeated Lizzy Dole). The Senators office really was of little help, they did however make an Inquiry. My Congressman on the otherhand  really went the distance for me  even calling and speaking with the Consulate General at the Embassy. Dole(R), Coble (D)
Not sure it makes any difference but politics is just that and  seems Repubs have more problem with the men marrying outside of country them Libs , although I am neither, I am a Libertarian, both sides suck if you ask me.

KB

[raycjs]

one350z

I know where you are coming from ..... My wife is very happy and she has only been here 4 months... The other day i found her crying on the phone with her sister and her mother she misses them very much but she is tellling them that she is starting a new life and she must be here with the new family. I find the biggest problem is the pressure my wife's family is putting on her to travel back to Colombia before she is allowed. My wife tells me all the time how important Christmas is to her and her family. We have decorated our whole house out side and inside. We have our tree up and this is all making her feel very happy we will be visiting my family for the holiday. We started all the same process about 3 weeks ago so i hop it all goes well she wants to travel to see her family next year around March or April. I am hoping we have everything by then.

I wish you the best of luck

Ray

[Calipro]

Hi, and again thank you,  We did apply for the advanced parole but this was a long time ago.  We are do according to emails her work permit this coming week.  THe problem is it has been 7 months.  That is a long time out of someone's life to just be in limbo.  She is a go getter!  She wants to be in college right now, her english still needs some work but she is and has been attending english classes regularly.  DO any of you think that this time frame is ridiculous considering all of the time we already spent waiting getting our loved ones into the country?  DO we not have any rights anymore?  If we choose to marry someone and we have done all the regulatory things for entrance into the United States. It should be done at that point of marriage.  We should have to send in some paperwork I agree, however, to basically start the process over again is ridiculous.  This does nothing but put peoples lives on hold and prevent all us "little corporations " for the government from putting more tax dollars into the system.  I understand now that you fill out social security paperwork now for entrance for marriage visas.  THis did not help me though, we filled out our paperwork before this became an option.  Truly, I do need help contacting someone that can get this to go.  DO you think it would be appropriate to send a message to the below address?

Chief, Regulatory Management Division, U.S.
Citizenship and Immigration Services, Department of Homeland Security, 111 Massachusetts Avenue, NW., Suite 3008, Washington, DC 20529

I think it took less than three months for my first wife to get advanced parole. But than was before 9-11 and if I remember correctly we filed for it at the local INS office.

I'm curious as to were you file your advanced parole.

[one350z]

Hello all, things are always going to be up and down in a relationship obviously.  But when they are at their peak, it is bad!!!  For both in the relationship, like mentioned earlier the problems may not have started here in the states.  THe problem maybe the pull from family in the home country.  My wife does not have this great pull but she feels she has tremoundous obligations and it weighs on her which makes her homesick.  THis process is important to the government to make sure that there is not fraud going on but come on.  If someone wants to fraud you and they are smart enough they are going to do it no matter how long the process takes.  I guess they feel the weak ones will fall out and will not have to worry about them. I don't know.  I also understand that the amount of people wanting to immigrate is at the highest level ever.  But this process takes entirely to long and needs to be fixed.   I do have great news and I would like to let everyone know I appreciate their assistance.  The good news is we have recieved our travel paperwork and  I expect our work authorization paperwork this week.  Not that my phone calls changed anything and according to the suggested dates we were due authorization.  So things are happier in this house but I am still frustrated for us and others about this process.  I mean this process can end up breaking relationships.  My wife goes out with friends, goes to school, but she felt bottled up because she was not able to do things that are typical for her.  She always had a job, transportation was always easier for her at home, there are a great many things that this process can impede in a persons life.  WHy is it so difficult?  I am no longer desperate personally, but this is a will be a desperate situation for a great many people.  How can this process be changed?