Fathertime strikes fools gold or what?

[RJS]

Let's think about this. She really likes him and wants him to stick around. So he doesn't even get the tiniest kiss. Nothing. Nada. Even my wife, who really is Miss Prim and Proper, would give a guy she was going out more encouragement than this (if she liked him). He's about to get whipped and you're happy for him?   

I think soltero may enjoy the imagery of the wolfman being whipped. Soltero, you're cool and all, but there are other boards for that sort of thing. 

[soltero]

Let's think about this. She really likes him and wants him to stick around. So he doesn't even get the tiniest kiss. Nothing. Nada. Even my wife, who really is Miss Prim and Proper, would give a guy she was going out more encouragement than this (if she liked him). He's about to get whipped and you're happy for him?   

Yes, as it's about time. This guy has been going south for years and not finding anything worth filling a paragraph about, but now, he's started a thread about this girl. Say that the physical is the end all be all. He's had plenty of that and still not head over heels. This one might be different enough to slow the ol' fella down enough to stop and smell the coffee brewing...

Like I said, I just don't get a bad vibe from this one, and I am not wrong often enough to develop a complex about it if I am wrong now.

[soltero]

I think soltero may enjoy the imagery of the wolfman being whipped. Soltero, you're cool and all, but there are other boards for that sort of thing. 

LOL!!!! Not my thing, RJS! But thanks for that HILARIOUS image! 

I know I have stepped out on a limb here and won't hear the end of it if I am wrong, but I just have a feeling that this is FT's time to get smitten.This is the first girl he has been able to talk about without completely focusing on her arse!

[zack]

Soltero,

You seem to be focusing on Fathertime's history and nothing else. No matter how you slice it, this lady does NOT want to kiss him under any circumstances. He can massage her, touch her or whatever, but God forbid don't kiss her.  I hope I am wrong because I want what is best for FT, but things just don't add up here.

Zack

[utopiacowboy]

"This is the first girl he has been able to talk about without completely focusing on her arse!"

And here I was just today telling my wife, "Tu trasero es mi tesoro."

[Researcher]

    I completely understand Soltero. I like to see guys find happiness but I would not ignore the signs(or red flags) just so FT could have someone after searching for so long. I myself took a long time but I walked away from a few women that I was "smitten" with.I'm glad I did.

[sean126]

Great One,

Are you forgetting his first post?  He says it's not a "challenge" thing, but he thinks it's a "lust thing". I don't see the distinction between the two in this instance.   I've read all of his posts to make sure I didn't miss anything...doesn't mention anything at all about liking the girl for who she is, personality or whatever.  By all indications its a race against the clock.  Can he bed her, kiss her or something physical before something bad happens. At least that's what I get out of it.

I'm all for FT getting a thrill by a beautiful woman.  But knowing what I know now...Karma, "what goes around comes around", "what you give is what you get", "what you send out comes back", "chickens coming home to roost", ect...is a certain thing in life.  Again...just playing devil's advocate here, but if it's all a game just to "see if he can get something from her"...it will come back around sooner or later on him. 

I'm all for the notorious FT being one of the happiest men on earth!  I understand how a beautiful woman can make a man do silly things also. 



Mr. Time.......if you want, I can give you the coup de grace' of all seduction secrets.  I'll loan you my green thong outfit that I wore on the beach that drove all the women into a lustful mob.  You know, the out fit I wore on the cover of the People Magazine pic. in the other thread about my idea.  If she sees you in that....something will definitely happen.  You may even need to wear a foot ball helmet!  

[papi]

No matter how you slice it, this lady does NOT want to kiss him under any circumstances

This is a classic case of Azul balls causing loss of blood to the brain resulting in impaired judgment. Simple as that...

[soltero]

Soltero,

You seem to be focusing on Fathertime's history and nothing else. No matter how you slice it, this lady does NOT want to kiss him under any circumstances. He can massage her, touch her or whatever, but God forbid don't kiss her.  I hope I am wrong because I want what is best for FT, but things just don't add up here.

Zack

Zack, I didn't say it wasn't weird, but what's a kiss? If she was trying to use him, then what would she lose by sucking face with him? She seems to be trying to make a point, and that's too much work to be trying to hustle him. Think about it. Like I said, it might not add up, but I have a feeling it's his time.

    I completely understand Soltero. I like to see guys find happiness but I would not ignore the signs(or red flags) just so FT could have someone after searching for so long. I myself took a long time but I walked away from a few women that I was "smitten" with.I'm glad I did.

Something about this girl is different. I am not going to say I can't be wrong, but for some reason my gut is telling me to stand firm on this one. If it wouldn't be tacky, I would almost want to take bets on this one...you guys can finance my next trip South! 

Great One,

Are you forgetting his first post?  He says it's not a "challenge" thing, but he thinks it's a "lust thing". I don't see the distinction between the two in this instance.   I've read all of his posts to make sure I didn't miss anything...doesn't mention anything at all about liking the girl for who she is, personality or whatever.  By all indications its a race against the clock.  Can he bed her, kiss her or something physical before something bad happens. At least that's what I get out of it.

I'm all for FT getting a thrill by a beautiful woman.  But knowing what I know now...Karma, "what goes around comes around", "what you give is what you get", "what you send out comes back", "chickens coming home to roost", ect...is a certain thing in life.  Again...just playing devil's advocate here, but if it's all a game just to "see if he can get something from her"...it will come back around sooner or later on him. 

I'm all for the notorious FT being one of the happiest men on earth!  I understand how a beautiful woman can make a man do silly things also. 



Mr. Time.......if you want, I can give you the coup de grace' of all seduction secrets.  I'll loan you my green thong outfit that I wore on the beach that drove all the women into a lustful mob.  You know, the out fit I wore on the cover of the People Magazine pic. in the other thread about my idea.  If she sees you in that....something will definitely happen.  You may even need to wear a foot ball helmet!  

SeanDiddy, that's just FT! The big lug doesn't understand any other feelings besides the stirring in his jeans! If he starts posting poetry, I am going to bust his ***** from now on! Something is telling me to go against the grain on this one...this is the one that is going to slide in under the FT radar and slide that collar around his neck!

[braindead]

A  tried and true tactic with these girls is to catch them off-guard and ask a series of leading questions that they can't wiggle away from such as - Where would you like our friendship to be one month from now, 3 months from now and one year from now...

Be forewarned however: Her body language will probably betray the true answer!

[Bear]

Ya'll all know me.  Sex before marriage is a no-no.  Kissing and some pretty heavy petting, damned straight she'd better! 

I've think I know this girl.  Met her several times in my life starting in High School and then in college and once after my divorce.  She thinks I'd be a great guy but something just doesn't quite click.  All three times the girl turned out to be a candidate for a mental ward.  I mean 'come on', off normal behavior without an explanation at minimum means theres some trust or compatibility issues if not more serious mental problems.  If she can't see it's important to you (or won't) then what will the relationship be like!?  And she experienced and knows you too - uses the tears like a pro.

I do relate, seriously.  I really have been there.

RUN!  VERY FAST!

The Bear Family

[singlefather no more]

Yes, as it's about time. This guy has been going south for years and not finding anything worth filling a paragraph about, but now, he's started a thread about this girl. Say that the physical is the end all be all. He's had plenty of that and still not head over heels. This one might be different enough to slow the ol' fella down enough to stop and smell the coffee brewing...

Like I said, I just don't get a bad vibe from this one, and I am not wrong often enough to develop a complex about it if I am wrong now.

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm you got something there soltero.. This is the first time he has written anything about a girl since he told us about his ex girlfriend wearing that thong on the water slide in Cali quite a while back.

I am rooting for Fathertime and I hope he will find his gem on this trip.



singlefather

..

[singlefather no more]

SeanDiddy, that's just FT! The big lug doesn't understand any other feelings besides the stirring in his jeans! If he starts posting poetry, I am going to bust his ***** from now on! Something is telling me to go against the grain on this one...this is the one that is going to slide in under the FT radar and slide that collar around his neck!

Well I hacked into Fathertime laptop at Jamie's place and low and behold look what we find Poetry..It is Love or Lust Poetry ?

Lust is my Disease
   
Will I get a damn kiss tonight

by Fathertime
 
  (Verse I)
I can taste your lips
At my finger tips
Though you’re still so far away
I can feel you every day
Tragic endings now
It’s hard to live without
Your breath upon my skin
And the way we used to sin

(Bridge I)
And so I whisper
It’s true that love has left me
But it’s lust that leaves me empty
And sometimes I scream
It’s true that love has left me
But it’s lust that leaves me empty!

(Chorus) The breathing, the moaning, the screaming
Was always the best part
The lusting, the loathing, the beatings
Broke everything but my heart

(Verse II)
Drink another down
Drink enough to drown
But still I feel you breathe
Desiring your reprieve

Passion at its end
Dead, forgotten
Now it all means nothing
And always, it means nothing

(Bridge II)
And so I whisper
It’s true that love has left me
But it’s lust that leaves me empty
And sometimes I scream
It’s true that love has left me
But it’s lust that leaves me empty!

(Chorus)

(Breakdown)
Oh, a life without a heart
Isn’t easy to conceive
But your body is an art
And lust is my disease

(Chorus x2)

Oh, I’m empty now.
Will I get a damn kiss tonight
or have some fun before the morning light
I need a hot body to hold me tight


I Don't Want To Fall In Love with a hottie

by fathertime

I don’t want to fall in love
To fall in lust if perfectly fine by me
But unfortunately, the business in the sheets most of the time wraps the heart within it.
Sweaty being trying to find completion for only temselve3s fail to realize that the heart makes a bond more satisfying than the dirty sheets filled with lust and regret
It’s not what people are looking for regardless of how hard they try to make themselves be seen
So let me start over

I don’t want to fall in lust
I don’t want to pretend that there isn’t a world of love and kindness waiting to be discovered if only one were to look
I’ve looked and I’ve found the sweet nectar that makes a relationship beautiful
But it seems that it’s an imitation or the liquid I put forth is to no one’s likening
But I’ve tasted it
I’ve nurtured it
And it was snatched from me

I’ve fallen in lust and I have pursued it enough times to know that this wasn’t the way for me
Gratifying my body must go hand in right hand with gratifying my heart
I’ll leave the falling in lust for those heartless professionals
I’m the settling down type

I want to fall in love with a sincere girl
Will I get a damn kiss tonight
or have some fun before the morning light
I need a hot body to hold me tight
I hope she tells me no fun till the wedding night 


Good work Fathertime,


singlefather


..

[no comment]

Fathertime!
I have no opinion on what you're doing, just waiting for the wrap up..... a punchline or a happy ending.  You spin a good yarn.  For the movie version, I'm thinking Chris Elliot.... or maybe Philip Seymour Hoffman.  By the way, have you been using an interpreter or speaking Spanish?

[Researcher]

           That's hilarious SF! I bet FT has already hired some mariachis so he can stand under her bedroom window and serenade this woman into submission. I bet his first number will be "Besame Mucho"!!!!

[fathertime]

oh boy, you guys are really something!  Thanks SF for displaying to everybody how I pour my heart out in song!

Hey NC you would be amazed at how often I mistaken for Mr Elliot and I don't really consider that a good thing either, but it several steps up from Shrek!

Well something did happen this evening but I am too tired to talk about it...and besides I have to visit the toilet again.

You are welcome to continue your wild speculation, I will brief you all in the morning hopefully, if I can get out of bed that is...I will foreshadow a bit and say...oh never mind, I gotta runs!

Fathertickintimebomb!

opps I mean
Fecaltime!

[sabound]

Fathertime , I am just curious . Everybody is saying that you have been at this a long time . What exactly is a long time ? How many trips have you made south of the border ? I have a ran across so many guys that think if you made a dozen or so trips you are now a expert !!!!

As to this lady who is playing with your brain ..... is all this PLAYING around not telling you something . You CAN"T tell that she in not into you ? if you were seeing a AW in the US and you did not even get a kiss on the third date what would you do here ?   

[Dan Las Vegas]

Hey FT, hurry up and post, the suspense is killing me!!!!!

Dan

[fathertime]

Hello!
I factored in all the advice and opinions I recieved here and created my own gameplan using my best judgement.

In the interests of keeping this board on the course the moderators have recently expressed interest in, I am going to keep my 'stories' and 'details'  of our whirlwind romance private, at least for the most part.  To make a long story short, Soltero understood where I stood best, and as it turns out my risk has paid dividends beyond what I expected, so I am very happy with the patience and decision I made.

Me and 'my obession' mutually decided to be novia/novio which is a step I try to avoid unless I think there is real potential.  After attaining this 'novio' status the 'rules of the game' changed immediately and now I have decided that 'my obsession' has shown the genunine interest I 'demand' and that is all I can ask for at this point.  Obviously the odds are always against something working out long term, but I feel comfy now with the start.  This could be the start of something very good for me...or very bad.

Now in the spirit of trying to be like resident poet SF I have concocted a flowerly little Haiku to add: It is called: MOTIVATING FORCE and consists of the proper  Haiku syllable count!

Rare motivation
Your face I see shiny stars
The toilet flushes

oh fiddlesticks, I guess I just can get these romantic words just right...help me SF.  
Fear not fellas, regardless of how smitten I am, I just don't have it in me to post purple ribbons like SF!

Fathertime!

 

[Alabamaboy!]

Good job Fathertime!  Nice to see some success stories!!!!

Just a little word of advice from me....to avoid any miscommunications in the future. I thought it was a good idea when we went "exclusively" with each other to kind of lock up the deal with getting engaged.  So that way she knew I was not going to be looking for other chicas anymore in Colombia or her in the States.  And I thought it was good for me also because she would not be looking anymore either.

Because I know for a fact there is a big difference between a "novio" and fiancee.

When you get engaged in Barranquilla....I cannot speak for other parts of Colombia.....then the woman....and her family think you are going to "help" financially on a fairly large scale if needed.  I did not know that until after the fact.  And it caused a lot of friction until I spoke with many other Colombianas from the same socioeconomic stratum as my girl.  And they all told me the same things...that yes....it is true. But maybe with the rich girls it is not like that.

I am sure everything is negotiable.  But be aware of that up front.

A good point though is that you can expect that she will do whatever thing you want also in return.  For me, I needed her to pay full attention to learning English.  And that her education at the local University was basically worthless in the States.  So 1+ 1= that she would drop out of the University and study English full time.

Even though there have been a few rough spots with the studying....it has all worked out well.  She is able to have a full hour of conversation with my mother...talk to my son.  And at this time all communication between us is in English.  So it was worth it.

My point is: if you are going to be engaged soon and supporting the woman in any way financially, do not be afraid to put your limitations or requests into action as well.  It is normal.  And expected as far as I discovered with the Barranquilla girls.  As a matter of fact...the girls I talked to say the girl really likes it if the relationship goes to that point where you are making demands on her also because then they feel that they are in a serious relationship and they are then willing to do whatever thing to make the relationship work.

But again......congrats on the victory last night. Hope everything continues to go well with you.

[RJS]

What's a "on a fairly large scale" in dollars? And what's the justification for it?

[Alabamaboy!]

I guess it depends on what they need.  If you are middle class here, it is like rich to them.  So they do not expect you to be living very high over here and them in an Estrato 3 ghetto.  And if they have been going to University...the family is going to think you are going to take on that responsibility now.  And for whatever incidentals, transportations, phone.

I would say like $400-500/month.

Justification?  That is just the way it is.  If you do otherwise they are going to think you are the stereotypical greedy, penny pinching Gringo who is going to treat their daughter poorly when you take her away from the family.

And I am not saying that this is normal treatment only for Americanos...it is also normal for the Colombianos.  For that reason, along with many others, I do not see many Colombianos very interested in getting married real soon.

[Alabamaboy!]

If your girl is upper class, spoiled, etc. Then you probably do not have to help out much. But you will pay the price when she is here when she is already used to the "high life" there.

The best scenario I can imagine is finding someone who is already working. A professional. Who does not really need anything from anyone.  But those are a little hard to find.  Because a lot of times they are not looking for anyone.

And unfortunately we do not have complete control over our hearts in regards to who we fall in love with sometimes.  I did not run any credit checks or finacial status reports on my girl before getting with her.  Although it may be a good idea to keep all this in mind if I ever find myself single again.

[sean126]

Sorry, but that is baloney.  My wife is also from Barranquilla.  It's not a requirement, it's not a prerequisite, it's not implied...maybe wished for...but who doesn't wish the good fortune will flow down hill?  My wife is also from a "Estrato 3 ghetto".  It depends on the type of girl your dating.  Integrity, character and morals do not pertain to someone's financial situation.  Just like every place else in the world.  My experiences are totally different than the extra baggage talked about associated with a fiance from Barranquilla.  

[utopiacowboy]

Again, Sean is absolutely right.

"When you get engaged in Barranquilla....I cannot speak for other parts of Colombia.....then the woman....and her family think you are going to "help" financially on a fairly large scale if needed.  I did not know that until after the fact.  And it caused a lot of friction until I spoke with many other Colombianas from the same socioeconomic stratum as my girl.  And they all told me the same things...that yes....it is true. But maybe with the rich girls it is not like that."

Yes, you're right. Many dirt poor Colombian families dream of the day they can get their own gringo cow to milk. For them it's like winning the lottery and they can finally sit on their asses all day and get three squares a day courtesy of the gringo.

To anybody else reading this who still has a few functioning brain cells, no, it doesn't have to be this way. You can marry a woman who is economically self-sufficient, whose family all have jobs, houses, cars etc. Of course if you have a Prince Charming complex and need to be rescuing entire Colombian villages, go right ahead.