Just trying to get familiar!

[1_21_Jigawatts]

Hello everyone, I am new to this board, and the whole concept of international dating to tell you the truth, but the idea sounds great to me. I come from very a conservative background, being raised as a Roman Catholic (used to be), until I started to realize that most of the people at my church didn't actually practice what they preach, drinking, drugs, adultery, and premarital sex was rampant throughout my church and schools. I consider myself to be a good Christian, but I have felt disheartened by the amount of hypocrisy being practiced, so I made my peace with everyone and left my church. I'm a Nurse by profession, so a lot of my personality is centered around taking care of everyone around me, friends, family, even strangers, and I feel sometimes that there isn't enough time left for me to take care of myself. Recently I had an interesting situation with a Chinese woman that I work with, we both became very close to each other, and we would have definitely fallen in love with each other, but she is married, so we knew the situation between us couldn't work out, she is married, and I did not want to take part in any sort of extra marital affairs with her. I won't lie and say it didn't hurt at the time to feel like someone that is completely right for you is in a position where they are unattainable, but it did ignite a fascination with Asian culture, and a gave me a deep respect for the women of east Asia, where the women are actually faithful to marriage, and focus on taking care of their family rather than just themselves. I've been researching the international dating scene for a while now, and in a while I think I might be able to commit to one for my lifetime, I just need a lot of guidance from you guys, to show me the ropes and actually hear real testimonials that yes, international dating does work, and how to go about doing it. Thanks a lot for reading my topic, and I look forward to many interesting conversations with you all. Take Care!

[jm21-2]

I'm not sure what age range you are thinking of, but a lot of younger Chinese are fairly anti-religion/rather extreme atheists. However, you will hear all about very conservative god-fearing Filipinas from the many guys on this board who are married to one I'm sure. It does not seem a big deal to many Buddhist Asian girls to adopt their spouse's beliefs. It's a bit unclear how important religion is to you from your post (good Christian but disillusioned with the church). In any case, I'd say Asian girls are much more conservative and family oriented on the average, but there are plenty of bad girls as well...just like any other place. Don't rush it and be  careful, just like any other endeavor.

[Jeff S]

Hi Jigawatts and welcome aboard. Yes., you can find moral, sweet Asian women interested in making a family with you and your future children. It's not a fantasy and indeed does happen. You need to keep your mind open, but your ethics pure, and your expectations high.  It's not a numbers game but rather a challenge of intention and sincerity. Have you those?

- Jeff

[Jeff_2]

Welcome, Jigawatts.  It sounds like you got to know the lady well.  Have you discussed the idea with her?

[Marshall K]

There are a few Christians in China, more in Hong Kong.  A lot more Buddhists, and a smattering of Muslims.   Overall, though not a very religious place, thanks to Commie doctrine and the Cultural Revolution.  I was surprised at how seemingly free people are to worship (Falun Gong excepted).  Also it seems that most people have been exposed to at least some religion and religious philosophies.
I'm a lapsed Catholic myself, lots of hypocrites, although I think you can get that in many churches.   
I like a lot of China's values:  Family, harmony, loyalty, duty and respect for elders to name a few.  The women are also wonderful!
Have fun with this.  It's been an amazing experience for me.

[fathertime]

Hey 1.21!  I have read your wonderful intro and I just have just one question for you: What the hell is a jigawatt?

Fathertime!

[Ray]

FT,

Alphabetically speaking, a Jigawatt is halfway between a Gigawatt and a Megawatt...

[Bob_S]

Jigawatt,
Throughout much of the Far East, even in a-religious sections, you still find a stronger sense of morality than in much of even very religious U.S.  Though my wife is mostly a non-practicing Buddhist, I find her more godly than most fundie girls I encountered when living in the Bible Belt.  And from my experience, the main driving philosophy for that kind of decency is something in Japan called hito no meh (people's eyes), that is, you behave decently because it is unseemly to do otherwise.  You don't do anything that would bring you or your family public shame.  And generally it seems to work, but not always.  There are still scandals, hidden family shames, and so on, but usually caused by men often free to do as they please in a male-dominated culture.

Hey 1.21!  I have read your wonderful intro and I just have just one question for you: What the hell is a jigawatt?

It's a lot of juice.  (It's Doc Brown's mispronunciation of Gigawatt.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bnqtXOi1iaY

[Dave H]

Hi 1_21_Jigawatts,

Welcome to P-L!

Very conservative background + raised as a devout Roman Catholic (some protestants) + God fearing + educated + professional (many are  nurses) + English speaking = Filipina.

If you work at a large facility, there must be many Filipinas there. Ask them if they know anyone interested in meeting a nice guy! Chances are you will be introduced to quite a few. Good Luck!

Dave

[1_21_Jigawatts]

Hey, I figure I should clear up my beliefs, and that is, I value my ethical code I feel the church has taught me, but honestly now, the actual church in itself has little to no bearing on me what-so-ever. I don't associate with them anymore, and frankly, if I married a catholic, I know that there would be issues between us. I love the Buddhist or Agnostic mindset of many of the women of China, it's a refreshing change from many of the things that I'm used too. Although, honestly, I don't want to close my doors to anything, and a woman from the Philippines is also very tempting, and Dave, you must know Filipino women well because there is a TON of nurses that are Filipino, and I have gone on dates with some in the past- but unfortunately they never really worked out because of my breaking away from the church, and also my father always said "ya never [snip] in your own well" meaning, never date anyone from work because it becomes work gossip topic number one! Also it is awkward when your on a date and the only thing you ever talk about it work  . I'm much more open to people that are not Christans now because I feel agnostic people also don't feel the need to feel talk about it every conversation (anyone who was raised as a catholic will tell you this). So in summary- I am not a catholic, I am a Christian, I don't want to have a woman who is extremely religious, I just want someone to have a high moral ethic (which is a VERY tall order). Thanks for all the quick responses guys, I feel welcomed already! Thanks for posting that video Bob, now everyone can bask in the glory that is a Jigawatt!

[Jeff S]

I'll have to agree with Bob. There are few people in the world who are more moral and less religious than Japanese. You do know (I'm guessing) that Buddhism has a very high imperative for action (morality) and with a very low imperative for faith (religiousness?)

I'm not making any value judgments, and I don't want to sound like I'm putting down Chinese in any way, but before you venture into that realm, be sure you're familiar with the thirty six strategies (Google it - the Wikipedia entries are particularly revealing) and know that all Chinese learn this in junior high school.

If you really want to understand Asian philosophy, I'd recommend spending some time studying and contrasting "The Art of War" by Sun Tzu, and "Go Rin No Sho," the Book of Five Rings, by Miyamoto Musashi. That'll give you a good contrast between Chinese and Japanese philosophies.

Then I'd spend some time with the Tao (Tao Te King by Lao Tzu.) I have over 20 translations and have been immersed in those simple phrases for close to 40 years.

- Jeff

[Bob_S]

my father always said "ya never [snip] in your own well" meaning, never date anyone from work because it becomes work gossip topic number one!

Ah, I see on the other thread you are a Canuck.  No wonder you are interested in Chinese.  From what I understand, you are surrounded by sh!t-loads of them that got out ahead of the communist take-over of Hong Kong.  Canada welcomed hoards of the more well-heeled "refugees".  Anyway, here (in the U.S.) we say: Don't sh!t where you eat.  Same idea, but much more serious in the land of hyper-PC feminism.  Look at it this way: if/when you break up with a coworker you've been dating, it'll make it awfully uncomfortable around the office.  So to relieve her discomfort, she's apt to get you transfered or fired by claiming you were sexually harassing her all this time.  The truth that it was a mutually consenting relationship doesn't matter.  In "he said / she said", you are frakked.

[Ray]

Hey watts,

I know lots of Catholic Filipina ladies who almost never go to church or practice their religion, so don't automatically assume that most all of them are devout Catholics.

In actuality, if you at least believe in God, I think most Filipina Catholics will accept that in a prospective mate. If you're a Christian in name at least, that's another point in your favor.

Happy hunting...

Ray

[1_21_Jigawatts]

Thanks guys, I'm already learning where to look and what too look for! You've already helped me out considerably. This forum is great!

[Bear]

I agree with Ray.  My wife flat out told me that religion was not a deal breaker.  I told her I was very faithful to my religion and would not be willing to change to Catholicism so she converted to mine?!  Many of the actions I've seen show Filipinos translating beliefs to what they think it is anyway, much like the rest of the world does.  My attitude is all churches are good in as far as they teach correctly and God will determine that.

The Bear Family

[Dave H]

Most Filipinas, devout Catholic or not, will accept and tolerate your beliefs if you allow them to practice theirs. Born again Christians and Iglesia ni Cristo are another matter!

Dave

[1_21_Jigawatts]

Where can I meet Philippine women? Any sites that are recommended? I currently have a chnlove membership, and the e-mails are pretty expensive, i sent a couple out that said contact me at my e-mail address, but i suspect the "translating" service edits the e-mails to take that part out... pretty frustrating really.