Is it normal to lie if you are Colombian?

[piglett]

Based on some of the recent threads, I'm reading that Colombianas tend to lie, have out of control tempers, prefer plastic surgery to diet and exercise to keep in shape, and like their men to shave their privates. Sounds like wife material to me! Where do I sign up?

HE HE HE
HA HA HA
hell yes me too

[william3rd]

Hello Machine69:

I am new to this discussion site. Nevertheless, the lying is why I have TWO
ex-girlfriends in Cartagena. Yes. The lies are "white lies." But they are lies.

This is the only correct answer in this process. A lie is a lie.

And as to lying about being in a hotel room with a man she is not engaged to, the girl has clearly abandoned her "family values."

BTW- wife hunting is not a game or a sport in case you haven't noticed. Take it seriously

[Alabamaboy!]

We did get engaged several days later. I really do not think that two healthy adults spending time together in a hotel room after dating for awhile is really "abandoning her family values". That seems like a crazy thing to say when the average age of people becoming sexually active these days is probably around 14 or so. And I am sure these people are not saying to their parents "hey guess where I am?  Yeah that's right I am getting laid by my boyfriend at a hotel".  I suppose you never lied to your parents about that sort of thing??? Never snuck out to see your girlfriend when you were supposed to be sleeping or something??? If not, I would say you are in the minority here.

[Alabamaboy!]

Another thing I have learned is that Colombian women are not that great liars. It is pretty easy to catch them on most of the lies. But it can take a little time to let them "hang themselves". So do not rush into anything. And maybe it just seems like the Colombianas are bigger liars, because it is so easy to catch them in lies.

Now gringas on the other hand...are the masters. I don't think we catch them very often so they are not thought of as being as much of liars as the Colombianas.

[Researcher]

          I agree with how many Colombianas tell lies, it seems to be a way of life.I just want to mention that my is very big on telling the truth.I know this isn't typical Colombiana behavour but I do wish she WOULD lie sometimes.


       Researcher

[william3rd]

We did get engaged several days later. I really do not think that two healthy adults spending time together in a hotel room after dating for awhile is really "abandoning her family values". That seems like a crazy thing to say when the average age of people becoming sexually active these days is probably around 14 or so. And I am sure these people are not saying to their parents "hey guess where I am?  Yeah that's right I am getting laid by my boyfriend at a hotel".  I suppose you never lied to your parents about that sort of thing??? Never snuck out to see your girlfriend when you were supposed to be sleeping or something??? If not, I would say you are in the minority here.

And in the majority elsewhere, it seems. Amazing how people will shade cultural norms to carve out exceptions for their own situation, eh?

If the family values require no sex before marriage or the like, what would be your excuse then? Two healthy adults in a hotel room etc etc etc. . . .? "I am American so it doesnt count? Or- that the girl has abandon her family ideals and her cultural norms. .

[Zon]

YES lies lies and more lies

They would rather civility over honesty.  They are 100% unconfrontational ... until the 11th hour when it is ALMOST too late.  Then, everybody is hyper engaged. But the emotions are often so high that few can even think straight. 

An constant emotional train wreak

... whatever CaliPro says is true. That does not mean I agree, necessarily.  It just means it is true.

=========================

I think Colombianas are FUN.  But, I cannot let CRAZY into my world.  That has to be kept on the Outside.

[utopiacowboy]

My advice is to marry an engineer but few take it.

[singlefather no more]

UTC,

You are a smart and lucky man to have found your great wife..

.

[Alabamaboy!]

William III:

Are you saying that the majority of the people in the world have not had premarital sex or lied to their parents to have the opportunity to do so? If that is what you are thinking....then I would have to say you are dreaming. I think it is pretty much accepted as something that is going to happen, but families do not want to encourage it.

I know that as a father, I would "value" it if my daughter waited until she was married to have sex and would not lie. But I also know that is ridiculous and is most likely not going to happen.

A cultural "norm" is by definition what is normal for the majority of the population/culture. And I would bet that it is much more "normal" for Colombians, Americans, Mexicans, Russians, pretty much every culture in the world to have pre-marital sex and to lie to their families to have the chance to sneak out to do so. So that is the cultural norm....not being celibate until marriage.

The societal "value" is one thing.  The cultural norm is another. The "value" is a dream or very unrealistic goal. The "norm" is reality....the facts...what really happens.

[william3rd]

excuses, excuses, excuses. . . . must be an american thing, or is it just the percentage of a population in Target countries that we are seeing?

There are different rules for different segments of any population. If you know that and how your girl fits in to those rules, you can save yourself a lot of grief. Rules for divorcees or widows are different in most countries than for singles.

I didnt say that at all but if you choose to think that because it fits into your thought process better or somehow it is more palatable for you, then that is OK. One size fits all. . . . .

[Alabamaboy!]

I do not understand your last post William III. What are you talking about?...especially with the different rules for different segments of a society...divorcees and widows?

The point I was trying to make a while back was that if you catch the girl lying a little.....for example about sneaking out to be with you when you come to visit her.....especially after you have already spent a lot of time with her and are getting ready to get engaged.....that is completely normal to the vast majority of the world.  That is the "norm". I have done it, probably 80% or more of the people in our society, the Colombian society, everyone has done it. The only exceptions I can see is in countries in Asia or maybe super poor countries where there are no possible places or spaces to have privacy to actually meet.

SO my point was that it would be super hypocritical of us to ditch a women because of such behavior or "lies" to her family to be able to see you. Especially since we are supposedly adults. If it was a 13 year old you were dating....I guess that would be a different story. But an adult....should not even need to tell the lie, but it is the "norm" to avoid confrontation there for the sake of everyone.

So please..iif you have time...explain what you were referring to that : IT must be an American thing or whatever...actually your whole position on this , since I don't get it. 

I am not trying to argue with you, and respect other people's opinions but I don't really understand what you were getting at.

[william3rd]

Nope- you are totally wrong about majoritie in cultures and where they lie or what they think. I wouldnt expect you to know or research so just leave it at that.

[Jamie]

I do not understand your last post William III.

William does not answer questions or clarifies if you continue with your line of questioning you are going to push William into making another run at the litter box.

[william3rd]

William does not answer questions or clarifies if you continue with your line of questioning you are going to push William into making another run at the litter box.

Because I dont feel the need to clarify the obvious. Hey, did you decide to follow the IMBRA regs at your agency or are you still putting your clients at risk?

[Alabamaboy!]

Let me clarify the obvious then......it is completely normal here and in Colombia to have premarital sex and to lie to your parents about it to give you a chance to meet your lover. It is much more common and "normal" than someone telling the truth 100% of the time.....and being virgins until they are married.

"Family Values" are like fairy tales. They are not the "norm".  IT does not make a person a bad person if they are doing something normal like that....without causing injury or harm to another person.

[Jamie]

Because I dont feel the need to clarify the obvious.

As you would say:

excuses, excuses, excuses. . . .

What’s your excuse for not answering questions?

Hey, did you decide to follow the IMBRA regs at your agency

No, but since you enjoy asking me this question so frequently you will be the first to know if it is determined that we need to.

or are you still putting your clients at risk?

They have less risk than you do from catching toxoplasmosis from cleaning your cat’s litter box and that doesn't stop you does it.

[David]

Based on some of the recent threads, I'm reading that Colombianas tend to lie, have out of control tempers, prefer plastic surgery to diet and exercise to keep in shape, and like their men to shave their privates. Sounds like wife material to me! Where do I sign up?

My CO-GF wants me to shave down below too. I've got more hair than a cat's furball! So I guess it wouldn't be a bad thing, but oh man the shaffing and itching I'm expecting! Yikes!  lol

On the subject of lying. My GF lied to me. I didn't catch it. She lied to me about going out. She said she was going out on Saturday night (a long time ago). Well, a couple of days before that Saturday she fessed up to the lie. I asked her why? She said she was upset with me and wanted to make me jealous. I forgave her, since she really didn't go out at all, and was more happy to hear that. However, it gave me an "in" to lay down the "don't ever lie to me again" speech.

I recognize, at least in America, that we take lying very serious, because its considered an "intergrity deal breaker." We do have to make considerations for other cultures and what is acceptable lying. Also you have to look inside yourself and consider what is a deal breaker and what isn't.

[dennislevy]

I live in Colombia and I have some thoughts aobut htis issue.

Obviously Colombia is a culture of non confrotnation

I think because people live here cheek to jowl, unless they are from upper stratos, people lie to create some proivacy and personal space for themselves.  I have dated umpteen women 37-45 who live with a parent or parents in small apartments and houses. I have heard some whoppers and I have  not blinked an eye.

Many women chose not to divulge that they joined an agency.  They may tell someone they trust in their family, but not everyone. My standard line if I am invited to meet a family is I tell my girl first. Remind me how we met, so I can rehearse the detials in my head.¨¨ I would rather the girl have peace in her family then expeerice the American desire to tell ¨all the truth.

So far when introduced to their families by women I met at agencies,  I have  been introduced by a mutual  amiga four times, met a girl two years ago during a vacation to Cuba (that was a good one)

WShere I am absolutley intransigent if i make a committtment to a woman and we are novios (and I have a novia right now), when we make our agreeemnt, I simply say ¨¨I iwll be faithful to you, I wont date other women or sleep with other women or contact other women.  I expect the same from you.  If dont want or cant do the same , tell me right now and there will be no consequences, and we will part as amigos, but if I find evidence that you are with another man, I will end the relationship imemdiately and ther eiwll be no seocnd chances for either one of us. 

For me, fidelity is black and white for both the man and the woman.   

Have a good day everyone
Dennis