Is it normal to lie if you are Colombian?

[Dave H]

Hey Researcher,

All very true! One must also not forget the time difference. It is 12 hours currently (Daylight Savings Time) between Philippines and the East Coast of the US. 15 hours difference form the West Coast. That still seems strange to me...flying across the International Date Line overloads my brain.  Rapid transmeridian travel (flying east or west through many time zones) causes jet lag as opposed to latitudinally (north or south) travel. Some recovery time is needed, but I usually hit the tarmac with my running! I love it! Once I get off the California coast, I know there is no turning back. 14 hours later I am in an exotic land. How many Americans can say they have been to Asia?...Europe or LA quite possibly, but with the exception of Vietnam Vets, most Americans can not! 

Dave

[Researcher]

   Hey Dave,
     Ever been to Boracay? Its flight from Manila in one of those small planes(held together by bailing wire and chewing gum) then about a 45 minute bus ride, then a ride in what somebody called a boat, but I beg to differ, that didn't even make it all the way to the beach.We had to wade ashore.I loved that place.It was well worth the trip to get there.

[Dave H]

Hi Researcher,

We have not been to Boracay yet. Travel has been difficult since our daughter was young (2 years old)  when she was last there in 2006. Our Philippines pediatrician said that Fil-Am kids, born and raised in the US, often get very sick when they travel there up until about age 7. Our daughter was hospitalized when she was 1 and also 2 for a week each time, despite of the fact that my wife and her family were very careful and protective of her. Next time, probably in 2009, I will be looking for beachfront (or close) property in Bohol to build a house. We may end up moving there then.

Dave

[utopiacowboy]

I think Jamie's advice is excellent. A woman has to earn your trust. Give her opportunities, small ones at first, to see how she responds and you'll see whether she deserves to be trusted or not. I didn't start out trusting my wife completely but I discovered that she was a woman of her word little by little. She has never given me any reason to distrust her and any time she has told me something which I have had an opportunity to verify, it has been the truth. When I visited the large textile plant where she worked in Medellin with her one day, every single coworker that I met all said the same thing about her: this is an incredibly special woman of the highest quality and I hope you know what you've got and treat her well. All I could say was, indeed I do!

[Researcher]

         Hey UC,

             Thats about how it worked for me.I had learned to just relax and enjoy myself with a woman while at the same time being very observant.I watched to see if what they said matched what they did and I also observed them with their family and friends. I could tell that all of the people who knew my wife thought highly of her and they told me so.I don't know of anything she has said to be untrue.

[valuedcustomer]

The biggest lie she tells is that she loves you.

[capt_jim]

There's a lot of lying in dating period. Negative aspects of Colombianas are often discussed but in the end it comes down to the individual- does she behave right toward you. I have had the desire, as other guys probably have, to overlook negative behavior as something normal in Colombia.

But it doesn't matter if it's normal in Colombia or not, if she is not behaving well toward you it is just not going to work. It's frustrating when you think you have a good one and she does bad stuff and it's hard to let go but I guess you have to.

[Kiltboy1]

I have dated many many Colombianas. Some were lied and some did not, just depended on the woman. Bottom line, if you pick a "PLAYER" be prepared to get "PLAYED" Many guys choose way out of there league and get played and then it comes back to all Colombianas lie, which is just not true. I do dissagree however that lieing is a cultural thing in latin culture. It depends on the individual country and the tradition basis of that country. I sith exception ee very little lieing in Ecuador with exception of Guayaquil, which is exactly like Barranquilla in the city, the women, the culture and they are all about the Rumba down there. You date enough Latinas and give them enough rope, they eventually hang themselves and that is when you can whittle down your short list to find the jewel in the rough.

KB

[Alabamaboy!]

When you are referring to "they are just like in Barranquilla" what do you mean? Has it been your experience they lie more in general? Or are bigger "party girls" or something?

[Kiltboy1]

I mean in Like Barranquilla that the city resembles Barranquilla in almost every aspect. Costenas have a very laid back attitude, like to party and generaly live life more casual then say there BIG CITY  cousins. Does not mean they lie more but in relation to the other parts of Ecuador, the Costenas of Ecuador do seem to tell the white lie more then the women from the Interior parts.My wife is from Quito and I gave her soooo much rope to hang herself over the two years we have been together, just to see if she would even tell a white lie. Not once has she ever lied  and  the people in Quito are very traditional and that part of latin Culture(lie) does not seem to be very prevalent there.

KB

[Dave H]

Hi KB,

It is a good idea to give the lady enough rope to see if they will hang themselves. You just have to be very careful they don't use it on you...literally!    I had to sell my guns...and once had to throw out the kitchen and steak knives. 


Dave

[Kiltboy1]

Dave

Hows it going. I have not been around much lately as I have been traveling all over the country with the job. Trade Show season is back in full force. Loved the scrotum photo with my ball imprinto on it, how did you get that , LOL.

FatherTime, I will be in vegas in october for a Huge Trade Show, if you are around, The first rounds are on me.

KB

[Dave H]

Dave

Hows it going. I have not been around much lately as I have been traveling all over the country with the job. Trade Show season is back in full force. Loved the scrotum photo with my ball imprinto on it, how did you get that , LOL.


KB

Hi KB,

We are doing great! As you can see, I have too much time on my hands.  Jeff S. sent me that photo...actually no Photoshop was used. That ain't no woman! It's a man, Baby!  
 
Dave

[texassingledad]

Does it help if when you start writing them (Colombian Women)  what you are looking for and you tell them that you do not tolerate liars?

I'm new here and trying to learn all I can.

Thanks,
Les

[utopiacowboy]

Does it help if when you start writing them (Colombian Women)  what you are looking for and you tell them that you do not tolerate liars?

I'm new here and trying to learn all I can.

Thanks,
Les

I think that I would say that I am an honest man who appreciates honesty in others rather than focus on lying.

[Alabamaboy!]

The more experience I have with Colombianas...the more I can clearly see that they are what they are. If you catsh them lying...they will continue to lie. If they are honest...it seems like they are honest almost to a fault. So it can be good or bad, depending on who you end up with. Just look for all the red flags, cut them loose when you start to see them, because fo sho they are not going to change.

To answer your question...no...it does not do any good whatsoever to say you do not tolerate lying.

[bcc_1_2]

Generally we are raised (at least I certainly was here in the midwest) on the principle that honesty is a valued moral (a very good thing) and lying of course was very bad. But I can't imagine a world where everyone was honest. Sometimes honesty isn't a good thing. Isn't that the Jeff Foxworthy saying... every man always tells his wife her butt looks small. But of course every man's wife does not have a small butt.

People here in the USA lie all the time. They are just a heck of a lot better at it. What it seems we are looking for is the truth when it comes to our relationship. Do you "love"... me (are you into me)? Are you serious about this relationship? Are you faithful... and relationship issues such as that. But as much as we want the truth... sometimes people just can't handle it. Colombian women who love their spouses are all going to tell their husband what a massive unit he has (and how good he is at using it). But all their husbands don't have a massive unit and aren't skilled "users". The Jeff Foxworthy theory applied to.... guys. Lying isn't horrible. Maybe I just come off as a no BS dude but I really haven't noticed a massive amount of lies towards me. Sure many do try their white lies, but if you give that you are full of [snip] look it seems to do the trick.

[william3rd]

Does it help if when you start writing them (Colombian Women)  what you are looking for and you tell them that you do not tolerate liars?

I'm new here and trying to learn all I can.

Thanks,
Les

NOPE- a liar is a liar. And a liar will lie no matter what you say. Tell them up front, but when you catch them, cut them in the clear right away. No second chances, no probation. . . and NO criminal doubt legal standard.

[Bob_S]

Does it help if when you start writing them (Colombian Women)  what you are looking for and you tell them that you do not tolerate liars?

I'm new here and trying to learn all I can.

No.  And it's a good thing you asked because you're about to break one of the cardinal rules of this game.

Do NOT tell a woman what you are looking for.  This is important.  Ray and the other guys have written extensively about this and it's all in the archives.  If you say to some woman "I'm looking for a woman who is blah blah and blah," a sharp visa shark will of course say "hey, that's me!  I'm blah blah and blah!  Let's get married and take me to America right away."  You will think you found Miss Perfect right up until the time she steps off the plane in America, then your nightmare drama begins.

Instead of describing what you want, describe yourself, and let them gravitate to you first.  Learn to ask open-ended questions instead of leading questions (it's not as easy as you think at first).

Keep reading the archives here.  There's a lot of valuable info that could help reduce your chances of crashing and burning down the road.

[texassingledad]

Thanks guys....alot of great suggestions and help here.
Les

[Researcher]

   Bob S. is correct. I always let them reveal themselves to me first if I can.If you come out right off and describe what you are looking for then a woman who doesn't have the best intentions will become that.Try to see them as they truly are. After a while I learned how to relax, have fun and observe at the same time.


            Good Luck,

           Researcher

[Jeff S]

Just like when asking in a nice restaurant about their Caesar salad. I always ask if they put anchovies in it. They usually gleefully say, "No!" wherein I respond. "No thanks then. If it doesn't have anchovies, it's not a Caesar salad. I only eat real Caesar salads." In other words, ask open ended questions, not ones that lead them to the desired response.

[KingDphax]

Hello Machine69:

I am new to this discussion site. Nevertheless, the lying is why I have TWO
ex-girlfriends in Cartagena. Yes. The lies are "white lies." But they are lies.

But I have not and will not give up hope. Frankly, I like my chances for LOVE with
the Colombian women than I do here in Philadelphia with these women. There is a woman who I am talking to who is NOT a liar. Like all things, you have to dig deep
to find diamonds.     

[Alabamaboy!]

Well King D....good luck! I have yet to have a girl yet who did not lie about something there. It can be something like they say the cam is broken when they really do not want you to see their messed up hair in the morning....or they are making a call to their mom to tell her she will be staying out late studying with her girlfriend, but she is really in your hotel room. Things like that. I highly doubt you will find a girl that does not lie there. At least from what I have experienced so far. Knowing that, I still prefer the girls there than from here.

[soltero]

Well, the parents have much to do with how they are. I remember the very first date my girl and I went on together....as it started getting closer to 9pm, she started to get anxious, and I asked her what was bothering her and she said, "Vas a ver!"

Sure enough, at 9pm, her cell started buzzing like it was an angry bee. She talked to Mom and I could hear Mom asking her where she was, what was she doing, and what time was she planning on getting home. That was my first taste of my future suegra, and I am not going to lie...she still scares me! She has never done anything to me (we don't speak as she does not approve of her daughter dating a gringo), but the amount of respect my girl hops to when Mom rings makes me almost hop also!