Is it normal to lie if you are Colombian?

[Alabamaboy!]

I find it very interesting that most of the girls in Colombia seem to lie alot about just about every subject. And it has me worried about having a long term relationship with a woman from there.  It is not just the younger girls or women from particular socioeconomic levels.  It seems like everyone does it.  I have seen them lie to their parents, bosses, just about anyone and everyone.  And they do not even hesitate or have any problem whatsoever in doing it.

When I busted one girl doing it.....to me....she told me that everyone in Colombia is a liar.  She blamed it on the men there.  That they are such chronic liars that the women have started to do the same thing.  I did not believe her....but I was then told the same thing from several other women as well.  They said it is the culture there. 

My business partner is Colombian....university graduate...and he told me the same thing.  Do not trust anyone there...that the story is exactly how it seems.  He grew up there and came to the states when he was 30 or so.

He and the women there told me that many times the lies are not really serious lies....but "white lies". But that most of the people do it on a regular basis.

What have been your experiences with this sort of thing?  Is it just harmless cultural differences? Or something more serious?

I am not being negative about Colombians....I realize things are very different in different parts of the world and I am just trying to learn as much as possible to have success there.  In general I know I have much more in common with the Colombian way of life than with the girls here in the States.

****Sorry that I previously posted this in the wrong area under "trip reports"

[UKCaliumbo]

Machine 69

It is not surprised that many Colombian women told lies.  I have met many Colombian women telling lies and they all always denied !!   If she tells you lies, it is best to forget about her and move on.  It is her loss.   She should have thought before underestimating you and your intelligence.

You will meet a Colombian woman who does not tell lies eventually!!

When a woman tells lies about a particular subject, it makes you think she also tells lies in other subjects.  How will you know if she is already married or already has a boyfriend?  It is very difficult to tell when she has told you lies.   Therefore it is not worth trying to get to know her.  It does not matter if she is very sexy and has external beauty who appeared in the front cover of a Vogue magazine.

The most beautiful woman - is that she does not tell lies!!! 

[Alabamaboy!]

Yes....I think the most strange thing was that on several occasions the girls told me that "of course I lie sometimes....everyone here does......don't they in the United States too?"  And she actually expected me to be lying with many of the things I told her.  She automatically thought they were lies and did not even respond to my statements because it was already assumed by her that they were lies.  Not because I looked like a bad person or something.  But because it is just so normal for the men there to do that sort of thing.

And it was not just something I experienced in one city or region of Colombia....it has been in about 6-7 different cities!

[soltero]

Colombians lie all the time, but it is something you can get around over time by being honest yourself. Like they said, they are used to it as it is a part of the culture. It is a part of most Latin cultures. The thing is, they lie like small children, so it is very easy for anyone with a shred of sense to know when they are lying. The reason they do it is because most Latin cultures are very non-confrontational. They would rather lie than get into anything with anyone. This makes sense if you take into consideration that life may be worth less there and an argument might cost you yours.

 If they feel there is no need to lie and they trust you, they will eventually stop as well. It is so normal to do so there that they begin to lie without thinking. Like I said, they lie like small children, and their lies many times don't even make sense they are so infantile. My girl (as far as I know) has always been very honest with me. She abhors liars and she has been in a few situations where lying may have been the way to go and she remained honest. She has been mostly sheltered, so that probably plays a big part in the way her character has unfolded. Her Mom has ridden her like a racehorse to maintain a certain level of class, so I am sure that has had a lot to do with it.

[Dave H]

 

Lying is a part of Latin cultures in general. I don't think Colombia holds the patent to it. My sons have been taught to lie by their mother and abuela. Lying is often done just for the sake of lying. If Latins get away with a lie, they are considered clever and smart. Will they ever stop?...I wouldn't hold my breath! At 51 I am still not about to change my American morals or beliefs. My ex-mother-in-law is 73 and still lies constantly...even to the Catholic priest.

Dave

[sean126]

Outside of meeting and dating a few latinas in my quest.....I haven't seen or noticed any lying by Colombians or latinas above and beyond the norm of the Americans.   There were a few women who I met through the agency that I could tell was full of BS., but nothing out of the ordinary.  I have heard that many people have this problem in Colombia, but I've never noticed it.    I have, however, noticed that for all the rumors about lying by latinas and Colombians.....it's been my experience that they have nothingon American men. 

I don't think they lie anymore than anyone else.

[Jeff S]

Based on some of the recent threads, I'm reading that Colombianas tend to lie, have out of control tempers, prefer plastic surgery to diet and exercise to keep in shape, and like their men to shave their privates. Sounds like wife material to me! Where do I sign up?

[Alabamaboy!]

My business partner who was born and raised in Colombia told me that it was very hard for him to get used to living in the United States because compared to Colombia....we are almost "saints" when compared to how they lie there.  He said now he is used to the "way" here and knows that for the most part, the people here are completely different in that respect and that he has made some "adjustments" himself in the way he operates here.

He made it sound that at first he thought we were stupid here or something because we do not lie enough!

[Calipro]

When I busted one girl doing it.....to me....she told me that everyone in Colombia is a liar.  She blamed it on the men there.  That they are such chronic liars that the women have started to do the same thing.  I did not believe her....but I was then told the same thing from several other women as well.  They said it is the culture there. 

My business partner is Colombian....university graduate...and he told me the same thing.  Do not trust anyone there...that the story is exactly how it seems.  He grew up there and came to the states when he was 30 or so.

He and the women there told me that many times the lies are not really serious lies....but "white lies". But that most of the people do it on a regular basis.

What have been your experiences with this sort of thing?  Is it just harmless cultural differences? Or something more serious?

Lying in Colombia is a cultural thing.

When I asked my wife why the hell she lies so damn much she replied "Is it so much better to tell the truth all the time and hurt peoples feeling like you do".

Colombianos have a very bad habit of telling you what they think you want to hear or to make themselves look better.

On the bright side colombianas will buy almost any lie you are willing to give them. Without this cultural advantage it would be almost imposible to date 3 or 4 of them at a time.

In general I find an absence of malice in the lies most colombianos tell. However I will not tolerate lying about money and I have gotten pissed off at a few colombianos that actually had the nerve to be insulted when I called them on their stupid lies.

I wouldn't call a colombiano out on his or her lies unless it is something so grave that you want to end the relationship over.

[zack]

When I busted one girl doing it.....to me....she told me that everyone in Colombia is a liar.  She blamed it on the men there.  That they are such chronic liars that the women have started to do the same thing. 

SO she thinks it's the men's fault that women lie? ROTFLMAO! So women were these honest saints until men came along and corrupted them?? It always cracks me up when women point the finger instead of looking at their own nature. They knew how to lie long before men "taught" them.

[utopiacowboy]

"Based on some of the recent threads, I'm reading that Colombianas tend to lie, have out of control tempers, prefer plastic surgery to diet and exercise to keep in shape, and like their men to shave their privates. Sounds like wife material to me! Where do I sign up?"

I know you're joking but based on the pile of stereotypes that preceded it, I'd be thinking the same thing. My wife is the most honest person I know, is very even-tempered, loves to work out and could not care less about my natural pubes. Imagine if I believed everything I read on PL and was convinced that every Colombiana I met was a liar, a psycho and made of silicone. Better to treat them like the individuals that they are, leave the stereotypes at home, and see how they stack up. Some will be liars and some won't be.

[sean126]

I agree 100% with UC.   I think we said the same thing, but 2 different ways.  My wife drives me crazy at times, but her and her family are a definite exception to the stereotyped rule in Colombia.

[Dave H]

My wife is the most honest person I know, is very even-tempered, loves to work out and could not care less about my natural pubes.

Hey UC,

Are you sure your wife is from Colombia...she  really must have a lot of Inca blood!  Did you have an idea of the type of woman you were looking for when you met her? With my wife, not a "typical" Filipina in many ways, I would have to say I met her by luck (or perhaps through divine intervention).  I wasn't really looking, but once I met her, I quickly realized that she more than met my expections for a wife and asked her to marry me!  If I had decided  to look for  "Latina" in LA, I think would have gone to Bolivia, perhaps met a Japanese-Boliviana. I met a Japanese-Brazilian once, but even after breaking horses in my younger days, I quickly realized I could never break this lady! Cálido!

I prefer not to look at it as "stereotyping" but rather "cultural profiling." 

Dave

[utopiacowboy]

I would say, Dave, that we are a couple of lucky guys. Or the fortunate "victims" of divine intervention.

[Alabamaboy!]

I just want to clarify something....I did not say that all Colombian women were liars.....just "most".  And I only say that because it is the truth.  And they were not all from agencies or I met in the malls.  They were from everywhere.  And it was not from a small sample.  I am talking about quite a few people.  And even the Colombians themselves do not deny it!

[Jamie]

they lie like small children, so it is very easy for anyone with a shred of sense to know when they are lying.

This is very true.
I brought this topic up in the past on this thread:

http://www.planet-love.com/forum/index.php?topic=1483.60

where I amusingly debate some guys who disagreed with my assessment of the scope of lying in Colombia. Unfortunately for me I get to hear more lies then everyone here combined. Below are some of my comments from that thread regarding the issue of lying and I don’t sugarcoat it like some of the recent post I have seen about “white lies”.

“While this is just a small, recent incident it is typical of the lack of common sense in Colombia I can relate stories like this almost every day. From the girl that comes into the office and tells me she needs my help her American boyfriend is not communicating with her anymore. When I ask her does she know why, she tells me no. Did you guys have any arguments or disagreements recently? No. Is there anything at all that may have caused this? No. So everything was perfect? Yes. Yet you have this problem. Well I knew what the problem was because the guy had talked to me and I tried a variety of questions trying to get the girl to maybe to mention this but all she would do is deny there was any problem and expect help to come her way from not opening up and telling me what she really knew.

Why does this happen because Colombians are incessant liars. Even for the most inconsequential matters they want to lie. When I tell the girl what I know and ask her why she did not tell me this and how can I help you if you are not going to tell me everything the typical response is I was embarrassed or I was ashamed to tell you which is the next frequent activity of Colombians, making excuses. People here will not admit to mistakes or take responsibility for anything. If I had only kept a journal of all the excuses the women give for not showing up on a date or introduction with a client it would be great material for a book on ineptitude.  Any excuse is considered a good reason and a saving grace for what caused them not to show. The cause of course never being them.
 
Understand people naturally migrate to good locations (look at California) if Colombia was so wonderful it would have many people from other places living here. Yet what you have is the opposite you have more Colombians living outside of Colombia than foreigners living in Colombia. The migration of people will tell you a lot.

As harsh as it may sound Colombia is a corrupt, ignorant, infested mess. But this does not mean one can’t have good times and find good things. It is what we try to provide and it is an undertaking more difficult than the surface reveals.

Now I understand this is very broad and provoking. Of course not all are liars and not all liars lie all the time. Since I am in the relationship business I see many interactions between American men and Colombian women either first hand or through my customers and employees. Now you can imagine if a girl says she likes a man but really does not like the man how this can create difficulties for us. It is one of our primary focuses to constantly observe, study, and question the women to see if behavior matches what comes out of their mouth. We know from experience that most men will be blind to this due to their inexperience with Colombian women and the emotional bias that develops with such women. So the topic of recognizing the truth is essential to our ultimate objective of assisting a couple to matrimony.

The one thing that has hit me more than anything regarding the differences between Colombians and Americans is the depth of lying I see here. To this moment it amazes me. It makes the job for the good women that work for me who have a sincere interest in helping couples much more difficult because lying is pervasive in Colombia. I don’t come to such a conclusion lightly. It comes from an overwhelming amount of observations over a wide range of people. Now could this information be slanted? Possibly, maybe women lie more in relationship matter than they do in friendship matters or business matters. I don’t think so but it could be.

Everyone acknowledges Colombia is corrupt. What Colombians won’t acknowledge is that it is not just the politicians or bureaucracies that are corrupt it’s all the people that support and abide by this system of corruption. It’s not just the rich it’s almost everybody. Now whether this makes them a bad person or a good person depends on the situation. I do not think most are bad. But as I indicated before most of the women would make bad wives to most American men but this does not mean they are bad people.”

[Dave H]

WOW! Now I see why Jamie's agency is so popular! I don't know why anyone going to Colombia in search of a lady would ever go to any other agency than his! He is the only agency owner that I have ever heard, ANYWHERE , who is so honest and doesn't sugarcoat how great all of the ladies are just to make money! His BIG cojones, make mine look like peanuts! I am now going to relinquish my "Most Latina Lies Heard" World Championship Belt to Jamie!  I sure hope he doesn't come after my South Florida Championship gold pick-headed ax!

Dave

[michaelb]

But as I indicated before most of the women would make bad wives to most American men but this does not mean they are bad people.”

If you really believe that, then why are you in the business?

[Ray]

...leave the stereotypes at home, and see how they stack up.

Good idea UT...

[Researcher]

I know you're joking but based on the pile of stereotypes that preceded it, I'd be thinking the same thing. My wife is the most honest person I know, is very even-tempered, loves to work out and could not care less about my natural pubes. Imagine if I believed everything I read on PL and was convinced that every Colombiana I met was a liar, a psycho and made of silicone. Better to treat them like the individuals that they are, leave the stereotypes at home, and see how they stack up. Some will be liars and some won't be.

     I agree UC. Part of the reason I looked in other countries is because I met people in other countries that just didn't fit the stereotype I had heard.And since I have experience with other cultures I'd have to say that ALL of them have good things and bad things.And Colombianas don't hold the patent on lying.  One thing I learned to do is what Jamie mentioned and that is to observe and see if a woman's actions matched her words.That goes for where ever you are.
    My wife likes to exercise, is hardworking, even tempered and I have yet to see her lie.Oh, and she is always on time(I find that not to be the norm for a latina).

[Dave H]

If you really believe that, then why are you in the business?

Hi michael,

Jamie is definitely doing a BIG service for foreigners who rush down to Colombia thinking that all Colombianas are going to make them "perfect" wives. Many think they might as well go with some young, lying, piece of arm candy since all Colombianas are family oriented, faithful, sexpots anyway. I have seen too many failures where I live, likely from men who blindly held these beliefs. There are very nice Colombianas, you just need to know what to look for and take your time. It is a lifesaver (literally) to have someone who cares enough about his reputation to weed out the bad and personally get to know the ladies or has trusted staff to do so! How many agency owners care about their reputation to do the right thing? Many often just blame the client for being an ungrateful moron whose studid actions ruined a "Golden Opportunity!" I have seen that posted on this Board...even recently. Whatever happened to the American belief that the customer comes first or is always right? Some owners and agencies seem to operate using Third World business practices. I have no interest in meeting a Latina and don't know Jamie, but I was so impressed by his post that I ended up reading more. Only about 550 to go.  Unfortunately, my own experience with Colombianas and Latinas has been in the US, having gone to LA for other reasons, rather than to search for lady. Seeing so many Green Card Sharks and Gold Diggers has made me biased. But whose fault is it that these relationships failed...IMHO usually the guy who blindly married them and brought them here!!!

Since marriage agencies are illegal in the Philippines, there are no legal ones operating there, offering in country services, tours, meetings, and advice. Guys buy addresses and hype from agencies operating outside the country and hope for the best. They never actually meet with agency owners or employees in country who have had one on one interaction with the ladies. In fact the agencies (pen pal)  have not met the ladies at all. The men go to the Philippines and many times meet the worst possible women, the dreaded "Green Card Shark" and "Gold Digger!"  Planet Love has been a GREAT resource for guys going to the Philippines. Unfortunately, many guys don't discover P-L until afterwards. There are many guys who  have had "bad luck" with Filipinas. Some keep searching because they know so many guys married to wonderful Filipinas. Some guys learn on their own or through sites like P-L what to look for. Others continue to make the same mistakes over and over. Some of these guys eventually get lucky, while others finally give up on the Philippines and often labeling all Filipinas as bad! I have heard guys who lump all Filipinas in with the bargirls so times it makes my ears bleed!

Dave

[Researcher]

The men go to the Philippines and many times meet the worst possible women, the dreaded "Green Card Shark" and "Gold Digger!"  Planet Love has been a GREAT resource for guys going to the Philippines. Unfortunately, many guys don't discover P-L until afterwards. There are many guys who  have had "bad luck" with Filipinas. Some keep searching because they know so many guys married to wonderful Filipinas. Some guys learn on their own or through sites like P-L what to look for. Others continue to make the same mistakes over and over. Some of these guys eventually get lucky, while others finally give up on the Philippines and often labeling all Filipinas as bad! I have heard guys who lump all Filipinas in with the bargirls so times it makes my ears bleed!

Dave

               I agree with you Dave. This happens not only with Filipinas but Colombianas as well.I think that all the negative stuff that is posted here about latinas balances out all the unrealistic stuff that the agencies put out(as advertising) and that's all it is "advertising".It didn't take me long to figure out that these agencies use alot of hype to get customers.They are, after all, businesses and that's how I treated them. I never got too friendly with the owners and while I checked out the ladies that they recommended I NEVER let them choose for me.
              I checked out the Philippines also, even though I know some guys who's relationships with Filipinas failed.Just like Dave said "you need to know what to look for and take your time", unless you want to rely on luck.There are many women in the Philippines who would make good wives just as there are many women in Colombia who would make good wives. For me, I went back to Colombia because I speak spanish fairly well, I know the culture and it is about a 4 or 5 hour flight from the airport I use to get there.
             

[Dave H]

        
Hey Researcher,

Colombia is about 3:30 from my local airport.    The Philippines is 20 hours (18:30 to Manila) flight time from my airport to my wife's airport...not counting layovers (30+ hours total). 

Dave

[Jamie]

If you really believe that, then why are you in the business?

It is not a personal “believe”. If things were not as I say there would be less of a need for my business. Guys would be able to navigate the process with only supplementary help. The very fact that what I say is true is why my services are necessary. Since the majority of Colombian women are unsuitable for the professional, educated clients I attract, to attain better odds of success requires the necessity of a service to assist them in finding the gems of Colombia that small minority of women who would make good wives.  Finding and getting the best of any lot normally requires professional assistance. That is why I am in the business.

[Researcher]

       
Hey Researcher,

Colombia is about 3:30 from my local airport.    The Philippines is 20 hours (18:30 to Manila) flight time from my airport to my wife's airport...not counting layovers (30+ hours total). 

Dave

           Exactly, and with the skyrocketing price of oil those plane tickets aren't going to get any cheaper.But the cost of travelling isn't the only reason I like that Colombia is alot closer.I can fly down for a weekend and not have to take much time off work, therefore, I was able to spend more time with my wife.Also, my wife can visit her family more often without it costing a fortune.I am going to Bogota next month and the flight is around $750.A flight to Manila at the same time is about $2100.