what?? she's FAT??

[dinda]

Hello guys,

Appreciate some good opinion and information for this issue.

Why do most guys have problem on dating, seeing, hang out or marrying a BIG size woman? Are they ashamed to be seen with woman who wears size 18 and above? 

Does dating a tiny little frame woman make them proud? 

Yes, im wearing size 18 myself.

p/s : Any sarcastic opinion, question or advice and etc will not be entertained. And thanks in advance for reading this. 



Regards,
Dinda

[shinigami]

maby its the american cultur or something like that ddon't hold me to that

[Dave H]

Hello guys,


p/s : Any sarcastic opinion, question or advice and etc will not be entertained. And thanks in advance for reading this. 


Regards,
Dinda

Hey dinda,

Nothing personal. I like what I like! Some people prefer dark skin, others light. Some like blue eyes, others brown. Some like tall spouses, others short. Besides I probably couldn't afford to feed a very large woman. I would need to buy a bigger bed and car. She might need 2 airplane seats. It costs a lot of money to buy an extra airline seat to Asia. Some "BIG size" women are very sexy! No "sarcastic opinion" intended!

Dave H.

[dinda]

Shinigami,

maybe, but i think it depends on the individual. some of them, have issue to go out with plus size woman/man... but some dun rili have problem with it...

regards,
Dinda

[Jeff S]

Personally I like curvy women. My wife thinks she's fat at 5' 5" (165 cm) and about 125 lbs (57kg)  but I think she's a bit skinny. She wears a 6 or 8. I don't believe that picture of you portrays an American size 18 girl. My secretary is a 12 and weighs 150 or 160 and looks pretty good to me.

I don't believe in destructive behavior, whether it's smoking, drinking in excess, drugs, or eating to morbid obesity. And an American woman plus sized 18 is morbidly obese. It demonstrates a lack of control, and that isn't what I'd expect out of a wife.

I've posted a few pictures of myself and yes, I'm overweight at 6'4" (195cm) and 275 lbs (125 kg.)  Men can get away with less attention to their appearance though. Fair - No, but life isn't fair. Men are attracted to women because of their appearance and women are attracted to men for things other than appearance, like success, earning power, and confidence.

So tell us. Is that really your picture or are you a morbidly obese size 18 American Women here to whine about her lack of attention from men?

- Jeff

[dinda]

Dave H,

yes, i agree, different individual have different liking and preference on their taste of woman/man...

some voluptuous lady look nice and healthy... i think everybody is pretty and attractive on their own way...

anyway Dave, the picture u have there is a lil bit TOO fleshy...

[dinda]

hi Jeff,

ur wife have the ideal weight for her height, i think she's adorable and for a tall guy like u with that weight, i think u look just nice...

i dun try to whine or grumble about myself here and not that im complaining, but i have seen one dissapointed moment where my friend's husband screaming in front of everybody in my sister's wedding, "don't eat too much, u're getting fat!!"...

my friend was an air stewardess previously, she quit after married to this guy, and gain weight after giving birth to their first son. she was so sad about the incident. im so angry with him, even my parents refused to talk to this guy till the end of the ceremony...

being fat/ chubby/ BIG is something that we can change/ reduce with exercise and having a good eating habit. but the respect that we gain is far way too little than what we're suppose to get... some people make fun of it and some even experienced worse...

anyway Jeff, the picture in the avatar is me... it was taken last week. and i'm 5' 7" tall with weight 88kg... the size 18 im talking about is for Malaysia woman, and i dun take drugs, dun smoke and dun consume any drinks that contain alcohol...


regards,
Dinda

[Jeff S]

You don't sound unhealthy, and that was what I was talking about, personal responsibility and health.

I think they have been making American clothes larger and larger so that people feel better about themselves. You'd probably wear a 12 or 14 in the US.

You're pretty tall for an Indonesian, or any Asian for that matter. I suspect bigger women probably have a tougher time because lots of men don't want to go out with women who are bigger than they are.

You have to remember, you shouldn't be looking for "most guys" as you posted in your first question - just one who you really click with. We talk a lot on this board about moving on if we find something unacceptable with a woman we're seeing, no matter how much effort we have invested in her or how attached we've become. I guess you have to have the same confidence to say "Next!" if the guy isn't willing to love you as you are. 

- Jeff

[Ray]

Hi Dinda,

I happen to know some large women and most are nice people. No, I’m not ashamed to be seen with them, but I’m just not physically attracted to big women.

If you’re overweight but healthy, fit, and happy in general, then good for you. However, I have found that very heavy women here tend to have some serious emotional issues that either cause them to overeat or result from their overweight condition. There are also serious health issues directly related to obesity that will eventually surface over time, including diabetes, heart disease, and others. I would have to say that too many overweight women are just not fun to be around because of their many problems.

I have known a few guys over the years who are attracted to and exclusively date very large women, but they are definitely in the minority. I guess whatever turns you on is fine with me.

Does dating a tiny woman make me “proud”? No, but that’s the type I seem to be attracted to overall. My wife is only 5’0” and 91 lbs (41 kg), but if she somehow turns fat over the years I’ll still love her forever.

Any sarcastic opinion, question or advice and etc will not be entertained

Gee, I don’t know Dinda. We’re so used to being sarcastic around here that I don’t know if we can ever change… 

Ray

[Bear]

When this question came up with my wife I responded that as long as she was making an effort to take care of herself I'd be satisfied.  It is almost impossible in todays world with its artificial foods and armchair sports to maintain a teenager hardbody.  But you should make an effort to be as healthy as you know you can be, unlike my "ex" who weighed 350# when I left her and now her and my daughter are both over 400#.  My ex-wifes unhealthy living has now taught my daughter to be the same way.  In her favor theres been alot of new info on being overweight, one of her biggies was drinking 2-2 liter bottles of Pepsi everyday.  They've now concluded that 1-12oz softdrink a day will get you 14# a year on average.  Add that into a lifestyle of TV talkshows and crossword puzzles, you can't do anything but gain.

The Bear Family

[Dave H]

Hi dinda,

Several of my former coworkers were only attracted to very large women. 113 kg (250 lbs) minimum, preferably larger. Americans are big people. You are tall and not considered that heavy by American standards. I know many thinner guys who prefer larger sized women. Bigger guys often prefer the opposite of themselves. Be proud of who you are and how you look! Many guys will appreciate your beauty!

Dave H.

[jm21-2]

It really depends on the guy. I think most young guys where I live care more about how much muscle the girl has than how much fat....the % body fat matters more than the weight/size. I've seen some pretty plump girls riding their bike for exercise here, and they don't look bad at all. I know a lot of guys who are pretty big (tall, wide, not necessarily fat) and they'd be afraid of breaking a small girl  . My best friend is about 6' 6" and 250#, and would never consider dating a short skinny girl. I don't know any guys who like bony girls, or girls who are skinny with no muscle. Most guys I know want a girl who is muscular with a healthy layer of fat to smooth her out...maybe 25-30% body fat? Personally, I don't like girls who have obvious flab hanging off them, whether they weigh 120 pounds or 180. Some of the "skinny" Asian girls have absolutely no muscle and high body fat, and the fat just sort of hangs off their skeleton. Yuck.

Same how some guys like tall girls, some like short girls, some like about the same height...or hair length or hair color or how a girl dresses, or any number of other things.

[dinda]

dear all,

thanx for all the replies for this post... rili appreciate every single opinion and advice from all u guys... it is amazing to know that there are still some people who can express their opinion and advice in a positive way... trust me, if i bring up this issue in the chat room i always hang around, i know i'll get lots of funny and silly feedback from them...

Jeff S, Ray, Bear, Dave H and jm21-2, one thing for sure, i learn lots of new words from ur reply and thanks a lot for that...



best regards,
Dinda

[dinda]

testing... how do i put picture? let me try...

this is the time when i rili love to ride a scooter... 

[jm21-2]

I think you do it this way...

To put up a picture that is on the internet, click the insert image button (below the italics button, above where you enter the text) and type in the URL.
To attach a picture to your post, click the "additional options" thing below where you enter the text, hit the browse button, and select an image.

[dinda]

jm21-2,

thank u... i did it the wrong way jez now...

dinda

[jm21-2]

testing... how do i put picture? let me try...

this is the time when i rili love to ride a scooter... 

I don't think many guys here would consider you "fat," haha.  I think you'd be average weight here, or maybe skinnier than average.

I think "American Fat" starts at about this size:


Anyways, I don't think most guys here care too much about looks. I think most guys here would prefer a girl who looks average but is a lot of fun to be around, compared to a girl who looks great but is very boring to be around. Maybe I'm being optimistic though . Personally, I think I would go insane if I was dating or married to a girl who was dumb or boring, even if she was a model.

[dinda]

jm21-2,

hahaha... cant be skinnier than average...

anyway, yup, to go out with a girl/guy who is dumb aka bimbo and boring will definitely be sumthing that can make me sleepy... u'll know that im bore to death when i start smiling to whatever he/she were saying and holding my hangbag rili close to me  ... haha!!

[Jeff S]

Hey dinda. Where did you see a picture of my wife? She didn't go with me to China in those pics I posted. The girl in those pics was a 23 year old marketing person from the company I was visiting who helped out as an interpreter. She had gone to college in the UK for 2 years so was one of the few people in the company who could manage much English. The other women in the dinner picture were business people.

- Jeff

[Materazzi]

You do not look fat to me but most of the girls here look like the pic posted by jm21-2,so I would say no

[dinda]

Jeff S,

i never see any pic of u or ur wife... but im assuming tht she is a pretty lady from what u have describe... 

regards,
dinda

[dinda]

Materazzi,

not that FAT like the one in the picture, but still need to do some exercise to shed away few kilos... anyway it is good to exercise rite... 

p/s : yeah, hair damn sexy!! 

[Jeff S]

Ah. I posted a couple pictures of me in this thread. I'm the the one with the gray hair and the round-eyes: http://www.planet-love.com/forum/index.php?topic=3144.0

[dinda]

Jeff S,

thank u for the link... u look just fine, just good... and tht's a compliment... 


regards,
dinda

[Materazzi]

Thanks,I dont know exercise can be addicting,you could try my exercise routine of sitting on the couch,eating Big Macs and drinking coke,Seems to work well for me.

Thanks I love my hair.