Looking for wife, where to start?

[Ransardd]

Hi! I was glad to find this forum, as I've started having thoughts about seeking my life mate in asia.
Although I suppose this must be one of the most common questions here, but can anyone provide me with some trusthworthy agencies/marriage brokers' names or web sites?

[Beattledog]

use the links to the agencies on this site

Beattledog

[Stephen]

Here's some suggestions.

Read the trip report section of this site.  You will learn the steps from others who have done this.  This can be extremely helpful.

Go to some websites like HEART OF ASIA, CHERRY BLOSSOMS, or FILIPINA HEART and get to know some ladies.  Start communicating with them.

Get on a plane and go see them.

Take your time.  I went through this process in 1999.  I wrote over 50 ladies.  In my first letter I told them that I was looking for a friendship that led to possible romance and marriage.  I told them that I was going to be visiting the Phils. in about a year.

Use common sense.  You will have some very good ladies and you'll also find some scammers.  (Ladies can be just as mean and corrupt as us men at times!  LOL)

Get started and keep us posted.  We can always give you helpful advice.

ALSO...tell us about yourself.  Where are you from and what do you do?  You see, one of the best ways to find a good spouse is by getting names from those you know.  Someone on this board may be able to give you a lead.  SO TELL US ABOUT YOURSELF.

Stephen

[Humabdos]

Hi! I was glad to find this forum, as I've started having thoughts about seeking my life mate in asia.
Although I suppose this must be one of the most common questions here, but can anyone provide me with some trusthworthy agencies/marriage brokers' names or web sites?

The best way?  Marriage broker?  Do you want to buy a wife?  :lol:
Yes, that might work just make sure you get a money back guarantee in writing!  Are you feeling lucky? Let's see what size would you like? Tall, short, fat, skinny, light skin , dark skin, virgin, collage education, big tits, small tits?

Ok just razzing you a bit.   I would suggest you go over for a two week trip. Think of as a vacation there are numerous ways to meet someone once you are there. If you don't meet someone at least you will have a nice vacation.  This will give you some knowledge of the place and people. Maybe some of the people here on the forum can recommend someone.  
Watch out for the gold diggers and green card sharks. Good luck you will need it.
Hum

[Ransardd]

Thanks for your replies!
I missed the links on the first page. Even with those, it was good to get some starting names; I guess the scams are quite frequent around this issue.

Humabdos: I can stand some razzing, but I belive it was based on a misunderstanding. From what I understand, "marriage brokers" exist in many asian countries to help both genders find spouses, commonly with their families involved.

About myself: I'm 34, from Sweden and am just starting my Ph.D. studies in biochemistry. Without much prior warning, some biological alarm clock has started ringing, and I'm looking for someone to start the seriouos part of life with. Girls my age in Sweden are mostly already in relations and/or have their own kids, and I'd prefer the straight husband/wife roles to whatever it is relationships are here in Sweden. Always liked Asia in general and think asians are pretty, so I thought I'd start some inqueries along those lines.

edit: I just checked out Cherry Blossoms. Seems serious enough for me, guess I'll try it.

[Humabdos]

Humabdos: I can stand some razzing, but I belive it was based on a misunderstanding. From what I understand, "marriage brokers" exist in many asian countries to help both genders find spouses, commonly with their families involved.

About myself: I'm 34, from Sweden and am just starting my Ph.D. studies in biochemistry.


Just be careful Ransardd!  Narrow it down to  5 or 10 then go over and meet. Make no promises. For you I would highly recommend someone over 25 with a collage education. Be careful of large poor families as you might end up "helping them" and educate all the little ones through collage. Your description "34  Ph.D. Swedish makes you prime meat!

 I'll bet you are swamped with emails!

One of my best friends had good luck with love2cu.com or something like that.
Hum

[Ransardd]

Good advice and a little encouragement. Thank you!

[Bueller]

Get on a plane and go see them.


Stephen

let me give that the bold treatment it deserves:

Get on a plane and go see them.


  Correspondence is just foreplay to the above. Don't waste months writing, getting your hopes up, and forming a false picture in your mind of what someone is like, only to find out within five minutes of meeting face-to-face that it was all a waste of time.

[klz002]

Oh man ........ I can just feel the dollars pouring out of my wallet.  

I've been looking in China, Thailand, and then basically anywhere in the world.  I guess this means that if the girls I seem to click with all live far apart, (say, Argentina, Poland, and Indonesia), then I'll just have to bite the bullet and go see them.

Since I'm just starting this process, I didn't want to overwhelm myself by looking in the Phillipines.  I joined www.blossoms.com, and I'd bet at least 50% of the women are Phillipinas.  Maybe a more sane approach would be to start with the Phillipines, since there's more to choose from there, and then I could just visit one country?

By the way ........ I'm NOT corresponding with any women from Russia or Ukraine.  Too many stories of scams and VISA seekers.  Although, to be fair, the only VISA seeker I personally know, (worked with her on a contract once), was from northern China.

[Ray]

Oh man ........ I can just feel the dollars pouring out of my wallet.

Time for a reality check...

kiz, what exactly is it that you are looking for? Are you searching for a potential wife or just messing around having fun talking to lots of young girls?

If you are in this for a potential spouse, then may I make some recommendations? I will assume that you are emotionally and financially ready to start another family

1. Pick a country, any country, but only ONE country.

2. Start doing some serious research on the country of your choice. Study the people, the culture, the geography, the government, etc., until you have a decent knowledge of the place.

3. Learn the language. If your country of choice is not an English-speaking country, then start seriously studying the primary language. I would recommend either some college level classes or perhaps a good learn-on-your-own program.

4. Get your passport and start saving for a trip. When and if you do meet somebody that you are truly interested in, then plan a visit to see her in her country, preferably in her home town where you can meet her family and friends.

WARNING: Finding a foreign wife and bringing her to live here in the U.S. will NOT be easy and it will NOT be cheap. This is not for everybody, so I recommend that you do some serious thinking to determine if this is really something that you are ready to jump into.

Do you have the time and the energy to put into this search? Are you ready for a long, frustrating, expensive battle with government red tape? Do you have the time and the energy to learn a new language? Do you have an extra $10-20K available to finance this adventure? Do you have any idea what the government requires of you before you can bring in a wife or fiancée? These are just some of the questions you should be asking yourself.

Having some fun on the Internet talking to young girls all over the planet may seem exciting and adventurous, but you haven’t even begun the real work involved in this game.

Ray

[klz002]

$20,000!!!  Good Lord!  I was expecting this process to cost around $5,000.

Well Ray, thanks for the "wake up call", so to speak.  This is out of my league.

If you guys have an extra 20 grand lying around, I'm surprised you don't attract more American women.  Not to be offensive, but EVERY relationship has an economic side to it.  (Do a google search - there've been some studies on this recently.  Also, one of the leading causes of divorces currently is when the wife's career takes off, while the guy's declines.  Probably the main factor in my divorce.)  Heck, add a couple zeroes after that, and I'll wear a dress and be your "wife"!     :lol:

I'm not "attractive" to young American woman because I don't have anything to offer them they can't get themselves.  But I was hoping that a woman from a third world country would see marrying me as an OPPORTUNITY for a better life, opportunity implying here that she would have to put some work into it, not that I could "buy" her that life right from the start.  

Yeah, it's fun to email pictures of young women, (it may be ol' Boris who is answering the email, ya know), but it's ultimately unsatisfying, and does nothing to help me grow as a person.  I'm gonna start a thread on the cost of this adventure.  If the consensus is that it costs way more than I'll have to spend on it, then I need to come up with another plan.

[Stephen]

$20,000.......I think you could get 2 or 3 for that price.

I think I spent a total of $6,500.  That was from start to finish.  It included buying names of ladies to write, postage, my plane ticket to see Tess and then getting her to the USA including her airfare.

I went to see Tess for 10 days and that trip cost about $2,250.

I'm just a real tight-wad.  But I think it can be done for $6,000.

Just my thoughts.

Stephen

[Jeff S]

Foreign women can be more attractive than our local choices for many reasons, but it kind of sounds like you're putting way too much emphasis on the economic aspects. Plenty of dirt poor guys find and hold onto quality women and plenty of rich guys have nothing but headaches in this game. Interpersonal relationships aren't about money - though sometimes they decay to the point where that becomes an issue. Whether you're after the girl next door, or the one a half a world away, women are women, and they all pretty much respond to the same things. The only kinds of women you'll lure with the promise of an American lifestyle is one you'll probably not be happy with in the long run - or more likely, one who won't be happy with you in the long haul.

- Jeff

[Bataanj]

$20,000.......I think you could get 2 or 3 for that price.

hmmm..., I know a place where $20,000 buys 100,000 barfines. Thats enough women to keep you with a new honey every night for 237.9 years

It's late, I better go to bed.... LOL!

Jay :shock:

[Bataanj]

Wow.... I got a real way about killin' threads, don't I?

 I notice this alot. People get a good thread going, then I chime in and eventualy, I post something that seems to stop the thread cold.

 You guys think it's me or am I just misinterperating it over the computer?

 Seem's like I shock or offend... or maybe say something that no one can really answer. :?

 I know the above post was a bit strange, but it was just a thought that crosseded my mind.

Maybe I should change my avatar.

Take Care,

Jay
PS- Where the hell is Dave H., anyway?  

[flipflop]

I'd say I spent less than $2000 at the time we tied the knot. That includes paper work fees and the $250 I left her after my visit of which every dime was with her when she arrived  here in the US.

[klz002]

Guys - thanks for your responses.  It makes me feel that this isn't a lost cause for me.

Since the subject has been broached, (thanks Bataanj! - being new here I felt VERY UNCOMFORTABLE mentioning it), let me add that some other websites catering to, uh, "less permanent" relationships are full of reports from guys who claim to be sleeping with girls with a foreign boyfriend(s).

I want a long term emotional relationship, not just a romp in the sack.  The reason I am considering foreign women is that when I look at dating sites here in the USA, the matches I get are all women in their 40's.  I do like American women, (people are people, regardless of where they're from), but I would like to see if I could form a STABLE relationship with a younger woman.  For whatever reason, this seems more likely if I look outside the USA.

After looking for 6 months - a year, I may decide that this search isn't going to work for me.  Who knows?

Anyway, I'm really glad this forum exists.    Jeff mentioned archives.  Has anyone found them?

[Bataanj]

I notice this alot. People get a good thread going, then I chime in and eventualy, I post something that seems to stop the thread cold.

 Guess I was wrong. THIS thread continued. I even got honorable mention for bringing up Ho's. LOL!

Jay

[Jeff S]

I dunno Jay, we're all still wondering about those 20 cent ho's. Ever see the movie Eurotrip? "Gotta love that exchange rate."

- Jeff

[Bataanj]

dunno Jay, we're all still wondering about those 20 cent ho's. Ever see the movie Eurotrip? "Gotta love that exchange rate."

Hi Jeff,

LMAO!! I can't believe you remember that, I must have posted that in 2000.

 I'm assuming you are refering to the P10 whorehouse, which I went to with friends as a teenager. Only when we were almost broke after a night of drinking.

Took Matt there once and still have a scar on my chin from it.

Anyhoo, with the exchange rate now around P50 to $1, that would make it $0.20. However at that time the exchange rate was about P7 to $1, so that would have been about $1.50 then. You get what you pay for, those were the UGLIEST women in Manila! :shock:

 Loved your comment about riding up front and the finer things. At least I don't sleep with donkeys. LOL!

  I flew over 700,000 air miles by the time I was 17, only rode in back once at 14. (As thrilling as air travel is to me, it wasn't enough. That's why I became a pilot.) What a story that was! Partying in the back of the plane on New Years day. It was amazing. Smoking weed, drinking Codiene, smoking cigars, drinking booze, everyone standing in the back. Ah, the good old '70's.


Take Care,
Jay
PS- still looking forward to that fishing trip.

[Ray]

Damn Jay! It's a wonder you survived this long...

Sleeping with donkeys? Did I miss something? Sounds like a Democrat thing...

[Ray]

Jay in the CAP...

[Bataanj]

Damn Jay! It's a wonder you survived this long

Hi Ray,

LMAO! !! I love that smiley. I'm surprised you would say that from such rather mundane story. Not sure what to make of it. You've heard worse from me, I think so anyway.


 I posted that Cap thing, the deleted it soon after. You seem like your up 24/7, you don't miss a thing. .


Got this cool image from my hometown site. Pelham Manor, N.Y. You might want to check out the website to read a short history of the place. I remember the Revolutionary war ruins there. Never thought a lot about it as a kid. At 7 1/2 years old I was suddenly ripped out of this serene, little town of 5.500 and thrown into Hong Kong, when we moved. What a switch. Never been the same since.

 Anyway, check out Jay's real hometown page if you like.

 http://www.pelhammanor.org/


[Would like to make it my Avatar, but can't. Don't know how to re-size it.



Have no idea why the image address is there.

Take Care,
Jay

[Ray]

Yeah Jay, I guess I was thinking of some of those old stories of yours from back in the Angeles days when I said that. Sorry!

I didn’t know you were from New York Jay. I guess I always considered you as being from the PI. That looks like a peaceful little town. I recognized the name Pelham from the old movie “The Taking of Pelham One Two Three”. Remember that one?

I hope you can get in the CAP. That sounds like it could be a real adventure, especially with this war on terror going on.

[Ransardd]

Sorry I haven't replied for a while. I did get a bit scared by the cost, but its actually reasonable and what did I expect anyway? I'm browsing some sites for potential future wives now, but I see this as a long-term project. Most of all I don't want to get ripped off in any way, so I'm quite concerned about the seriousness of the sites I visit. More good advice about that would be deeply appreciated.