Getting the truth about her novio

[civilizedchaos]

Hey guys I just joined recently, I'm 45 and live in Toronto Canada. Planning my first trip to Colombia this winter. Any ideas about how you can get the truth out of a chica about whether or not she has a boyfriend? I remember reading somewhere in the forum that you can assume most Colombianas under 35 probably have one (and most will hide the fact). Obviously if you ask her straight out she will lie. Any tactics you can recommend to get the truth?

CC

[sean126]

Well...I'm glad you asked.  Theres one of two ways you can get the truth out of her.

1.  Buy two pair of panty hose.  Put one pair INSIDE the other for added support.  Go to the fruit section in the grocery store and buy about 3 oranges.  Place the oranges in panty hose, make sure they go all the way to the toes of it.  Wait until she's sleeping and glently wrap her in the sheets.  Take the panty hose (with the oranges inside) and wrap the excess hose around your good hand.   This part is important...at the top of your voice, scream "Sir William demands you tell me the truth!!!!!!!!!!!"  and then start to beat her wildly about the head with the oranges inside the panty hose.  About every few swings...ask her your question.  Just to make sure she is telling the truth...swing like your Barry Bonds when he was trying to break the home run record for another few minutes.  In between beatings...make sure you scream again..."Sir William demands you tell me the truth!!!!!!!!!!".

OR

2.  You can ask her and trust her to tell you the truth.  If you do not trust she is telling the truth, then take your right shoe and wiggle it just enough so it is hanging on your toes.  Flick your foot up as if to kick her and the shoe will fly off and hit her in the face.  Her head will naturally go straight back.  As she is gasping in shock, immediately take off the left shoe and smack her horizontally across the head and scream as loud as you can..."I WILL BE AVENGED!!!!!".  Immediately afterwards, spin around and hit her with a spinning back kick.  This will more than likely knock the air out of her and send her to the ground.  As your standing...stradle her face and squat down and muster out the biggest, nastiest fart you can and fart directly into her open mouth that is gasping for air.  She will begin chocking and if you've done it right, will probably vomit.  Ask her your question again and she will more than likely tell you the truth.  

I hope this helps.  

[william3rd]

Sean. . . . . Uh, Sean. . . . . I think I just wet myself. . . . . hahahahahahahahaha.

You just made my Saturday!!!!!

[sean126]

Anything for you buddy!

 

[bigstew33]

Sean your twisted.  You smoking some of that good Colombian stuff?

[sean126]

Bigstew,

Nahhh.  I just haven't been the same since my wife caught me asleep and started beating me with a pair of panty hose filled with oranges.  LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL.

[fathertime]

Sean that was really demented.  I liked it a lot although I think stuffing the pantyhose with sliced pomegranates would have a better visual effect!

I remember reading somewhere in the forum that you can assume most Colombianas under 35 probably have one (and most will hide the fact). Obviously if you ask her straight out she will lie.

CC,
I don't know that I would assume that every woman under 35 has a boyfriend to begin with although I am certain they nearly all have the opportunity to get banged on a regular basis, if that is what they are seeking.  

 You must travel and meet your woman and then just figure it out.  If you are very concerned about a "girfriend" or "fiance" that has another "Boyfriend" then you can dump her, or you can hire someone to investigate what she is doing.  

The critical thing is to travel and experience firsthand, then you can make a proper analysis, and go from there.

Fathertime!  

[one350z]

Number 1 was totally funny!!!  But I always use number 2.  I trust what my woman tells me, I have faith and trust in her.  Again, I had to laugh at number 1.  But something that would leave some highlights such as a colored juice and maybe some colored seeds would give it an artisitic touch.

[utopiacowboy]

If you watch carefully there will usually be some sort of tipoff as to whether there is someone else.

[william3rd]

So- when your wife was beating the confession out of you. . . .  was SHE screaming SirWilliam demands that you tell the truth or perhaps some other celebrity?

And- is this a nightly routine now?

[sean126]

Oddly enough she'd start screaming...."Ravishing Ray demands you stop being an a**hole!!!!".   

It's not a nightly routine now.  Three times was enough for me.

[el capitan]

Well...I'm glad you asked.  Theres one of two ways you can get the truth out of her.

1.  Buy two pair of panty hose..."Sir William demands you tell me the truth!!!!!!!!!!".

OR

2.  You can ask her and trust her to tell you the truth.  If you do not trust she is telling the truth,...fart directly into her open mouth that is gasping for air.  She will begin chocking and if you've done it right, will probably vomit.  Ask her your question again and she will more than likely tell you the truth. 

I hope this helps.  (content edited for brevity by me)

Man!  I still can't stop laughing!  You are one f@#$*&d up individual, Sean!!  I'm glad I followed that link...

[sean126]

I have my moments.   

[Researcher]

   Once again I agree with Fathertime....but remember if you do find  'the one' that far away it will be a long distance relationship...What I did after I found 'the one' is I visited her as often as I could and from day one started building a network of support that consisted of her family and friends.I got to know them and I wanted them to know that my intentions were honorable.I have only gotten closer to her family and friends and, so far, they seem to be happy for the both of us.If you are not comfortable with that...hire someone to check her out....