email and phone numbers online

[raycjs]

how about a little help here. i have now started to exchange emails with some women i have meet on line thru one of the dating sites. is it normal for some of the women in Colombia to email me there phone number and ask me to call them. and this is just after 1 or 2 emails back and forth.i have not tried to call anyone yet because my Spanish is very weak. what do you think about them giving out phone numbers. thanks again for all your help

[RJS]

I haven't had anyone ask me to call them on the phone, partly because they've all had msn. With the exception of the one I'm going to see, i've only chatted with girls. She asked to speak to me over msn because she wanted to hear what my voice sounded like. In short, she wanted to see if there was any verbal chemistry. After all, it's easy to be smooth on msn, but a lot of guys probably fall flat in person or on the phone, when they don't get the benefit of a pause between everything they say. either way, you should call them. There's only one way to improve your spanish...

[sean126]

sometimes they just want to hear what you sound like.  I'd take it as a good thing.

[Ray]

I don't understand...

If you are going to establish communications with someone, isn't it logical to exchange phone numbers in addition to e-mail addresses?

The telephone is just another tool for communicating and people in other countries don't seem to be so paranoid about giving out phone numbers.

If you are interested in pursuing this further, then call her and see what happens.

[michaelb]

Ditto what Ray said.....now to add something: Buy a phone card, MUCH cheaper than just dialing.

[bundy_138]

My novia wondered why it took me two months to call her when we were exchangeing emails.  My Spanish was not very good and I was somewhat embarrassed.  She eventually told me that her friends thought that I was married because I wouldn't call her.  That pissed me off, so I called her and winged it the best I could with my limited Spanish, but in the end, I got the woman of my dreams.  She wanted to hear the sound of my voice.  It was more personal to her.

I have been using a phone card specifically for Colombia.  It is a card from ETB and for 5 dollars, I get 2 1/2 hours of call time.

Bundy

[fathertime]

how about a little help here. i have now started to exchange emails with some women i have meet on line thru one of the dating sites. is it normal for some of the women in Colombia to email me there phone number and ask me to call them. and this is just after 1 or 2 emails back and forth.i have not tried to call anyone yet because my Spanish is very weak. what do you think about them giving out phone numbers. thanks again for all your help

You can always use the webcam with yahoo messenger.   Let her see you in person so to speak, and either type back and forth to each other or speak over the telephone line for free.  It will cost her a couple thousand pesos to do this at an internet cafe, but if she is really interested in meeting you she will pay this minor fee, at least the first time. 

Fathertime!

[raycjs]

thanks again i guess i am just use to the way we do things here in the us how often does a girl who does not know that person only from a dating web site send the very first email with her person email address outside of the dating site and her phone number for a complete stranger to call. that is why i asked  i will try calling some of the girls with a phone card but my Spanish is not very good. what do you think about me calling them with a friend of mine here in south Florida that is a female and speaks Spanish i could do a 3 way call and have her help me with the translation. i wrote in my email's in English and Spanish and i have told them that i use a translation program to help me read and write i want to be total honest with them. thanks again

[Ray]

...what do you think about me calling them with a friend of mine here in south Florida that is a female and speaks Spanish i could do a 3 way call and have her help me with the translation.

Sounds like a good plan to me!

I never tried a 3-way call with a pre-paid phone card. Let us know how it works.

[fathertime]

Sounds like a good plan to me!

I never tried a 3-way call with a pre-paid phone card. Let us know how it works.

When I first came upon the scene, I did one of these.  I thought it was lame.  I had to do all the talking and got a bunch of short answers. 

Raycjs, if you do a 3 way call, try to ask open ended questions.  Hopefully your lady will ask you questions as well. 

I found that humor does not translate well over 3 way calls and it really seems to take a lot of personality out of the conversation.  All this being said, it is still better than nothing, since it is a start and a real step. 

Good Luck.

Fathertime!

[RJS]

I just want to re-iterate what sean and bundy said. They really just want to hear your voice. It makes it more real for them, even if communication isn't perfect. Having said that, if you know communication will be difficult at best, I would focus on writing detailed letters, chatting a lot, and thinning out the herd. To me, that seems like a more efficient approach. I think that you can get a pretty damned good idea of what someone is like by seeing them on webcam and chatting/emailing them. Also, get your ass into an intensive spanish class with lots of conversation asap. I think that having to use a translator is a recipe for disaster, personally. It's impossible to have intimacy through translation, and if you can't communicate without one in person, I just don't see the point. I'm not saying don't do it for now, but if you're serious about establishing a good relationship out of this, you need to be enrolled in spanish classes. Translation programs won't cut it (I used one at first and learned nothing from it), and I think things will work-out better if you learn spanish as well, instead of just expecting her to learn english.

You have to understand that they're probably skeptical up until the moment you meet them. I talk with my girl (last night we both agreed not to see anyone else until my trip) every night, but when we started, even though she really liked me, it wasn't real, even though I told her it was 90% certain that I was going to peru in december. Her friends were also cautioning her, not specifically about me, but because it's the internet, and you never know how things will go in person. When I bought my ticket I told her right away and now she tells me that every day it feels more real and I know she's counting the days until I arrive and is convinced that I'm actually coming, probably unlike other men that have promised to visit.

Anyway, that's my take.

[utopiacowboy]

I am sure that for every 100 guys writing or emailing, 98 or 99 of them never get on a plane.

[bigstew33]

Lets not forget too that there are a lot of men out there that are just playing games.  maybe want a cheap thrill with them.  Like get them to do naked stuff on the cam, and have no intentions of anything further.  Just because we as men see a lot of dishonest women, there are far more dishonest men talking to them.  Don't believe me?  Ask a few women.  But the thought of a woman wanting me to call her when she knows I don't speak Spanish baffles me too, but I see your point on this.  Guess I am gonna make a couple calls today   My voice is too sexy though and they will fall in love with me.  It's just when they see me is when they fall out of love.   lol

[David]

Ditto what Ray said.....now to add something: Buy a phone card, MUCH cheaper than just dialing.

What's a good website to buy them off of? I had been using "Therichcom.com" and "Phonecardmania.com" but am not too happy with either. Feel I'm getting ripped off. I did find a phone card called "four points" with them, and that was great! But they don't always have it in stock. It was such a good deal, I think they made a mistake.

[JamesDonut]

Have you thought of using the obvious?? I mean the option of VOIP.  Anyways it sounds like she likes you enough to want to talk to her on the phone. Good luck...

[michaelb]

What's a good website to buy them off of?

Well, if you live in a city large enough to have a Latin or Asian 'part of town', just buy them over the counter from the stores there. Where I live there is so much competition that you can always buy a $5.00 face value card for $4.00 (and the store is still making $1.00 to $1.50 off of it, so don't feel sorry for them). Most stores that carry them carry several different ones. Look at the charts of 'how many minutes to .....(city/country)' they will have posted on the wall or in the window and pick the card that gives you the best deal for the place you want to call. Look for ones that say no connection fee and have a small billing increment, like 1 or 3 minutes. You might have to try 3 or 4 different ones before you settle in on one you're happy with for quality of sound, ease of making a connection, not dropping your calls nor cheating you out of minutes etc.

If you don't have a card and need to make a call before you have time to get one, dial 1010123 before dialing the rest of the number. Not as cheap as the cards, but actually a little bit more reliable (as far as getting a good connection) and still not nearly as expensive as just using direct dial.

[michaelb]

Opps, make that 10-10-321

[jm21-2]

I would have thought VOIP would be cheaper too...and I know my connection has been extremely good over it by all accounts. Even on Yahoo it's about $.04-$.07 cents per minute, $.11 to a mobile number, to Colombia. Like $15/month for unlimited long distance on most services? Or is it more? Don't know how those rates compare to calling cards. I just use Yahoo because I don't need more than 50-100 minutes at a time.

[Ray]

Just to add to what michaelb said…

We also buy phone cards over the counter from the local stores. The local Asian supermarkets discount all cards 20% off of face value ($4 for a $5 card). Most liquor stores and many other small businesses sell them on the side.

A few tips on phone cards:

1. Buy the smallest denomination, usually $5

2. You’ll get the most minutes if you use the whole thing in one call.

3. NEVER believe those posters with the number of minutes you get on a card! Time it yourself and you may be surprised at what you actually get after all the hidden fees and charges on some cards.

4. The most reliable cards I’ve found use AT&T circuits. The rest are usually hit-and-miss with busy circuits, bad connections, and random disconnects.

5. Cards with local access numbers will give you more minutes also. You pay for the toll-free 800 type numbers.

6. You’ll probably get many more minutes if you call a landline as opposed to a cell number.

Like michael said, those 10-10-xxx numbers can be a pretty good deal too and more convenient than the cards. I think most are a little higher than prepaid cards, but much less than your regular long distance carrier. There are a bunch, so do a google and try some.

There is one big advantage of using a 10-10-xxx long distance access number. You get a printed record of your call because it shows on your monthly phone bill for your landline. Copies of phone bills can be an important piece of evidence when your fiancée/spouse goes in for her visa interview.

Ray

[bundy_138]

I buy my cards from the Latin stores here in Florida.  The card has a local acces number for 25 major cities in Florida as well as a 800 number.  The card I use is ETB and it is for calling Colombia.  No connection/maintanance charges and you get approx. 4 cent per minute per call.  I have seen cards where you can talk for 16 hours straight for $5, but the 16 hours is for 1 call.  If you use it several times, the calls are expensive.  Buy a few different cards and see which one works best for you.  I have bought a few cards for calling Mexico when my other cards ran out.  It just costs a little more to use a Mexico card to call Colombia.

Bundy

[SocialDreg]

I have lived in Cali for the last 3 years.   I met a couple of women online.  Amigos and some other one.  Both girls were very attractive.   They told me they received many emails daily from foreign men.  I went to meet both of them.  I asked them how many foreigners they had met in person.  One girl said none and the other had met a Mexican guy. These two girls literally had hundreds of emails.
I think a lot of these women realize that it is just a game. Men and women post fake fotos, claim to be doctors, rich, etc. Men say they are coming to visit and like Utopia said,  almost all don't come. I don't want to burst anyone's bubble but a younger, attractive, social woman is not going to stay home at night waiting for her would be suitor from the US to come.  I have seen so many engaged women here go out with out with other foreign men that actually came to Colombia. And a couple married women, too.

If you haven't met her in person...all bets are off.