scheduling without agencies

[RJS]

This came to mind from the letters thread but I didn't want to derail it.

For you guys that met you're chicks on the internet via the regular dating sites, how did you line-up your dates for when you went down there? This is one area where I see marriage agencies having an advantage. By using the agency as a proxy, it should be very easy to schedule 5 interviews in a day or whatever. That's more difficult if it's a real date. I can just imagine a date that's going well and having to say "ok, your time's up. Next!"

The girls presumably know you're not only going to be seeing them, but it's less than tactful to appear as though you're shopping for a wife by lining them up and seeing one after another. That could plant the idea in their mind that you'll always been looking for someone better, no?

The conflict is obviously time. I'd want to cram-in as many as possible near the beginning of the trip so that I could spend more time with the ones that had the most potential. If you go down with the idea of meeting 10 girls (I'm a week in to this and there's already 4 I definitely want to meet), you could easily waste a week and a half or more on first dates, especially since I'd assume most girls are working during the day and [snip] may get messed-up at the last minute, as often happens in dating. Then if it goes well, you're expected to follow-up fairly quickly but you haven't met the other girls yet... This is at odds with my desire to spend the better parts of 3 weeks getting to know the one girl that hopefully sticks-out.

Does anyone have any strategies on this aspect of things?

[utopiacowboy]

You may want to plan a couple of trips, one as sort of a scouting mission where you meet the women you're interested in and spend some time with each of them to see which one(s) show promise.

OTOH, I went down there to visit only one woman and lucky for me, she was even more breath-taking and gorgeous in person than on the web cam and in photos. That strategy is not usually recommended because what if it didn't work out? I had no Plan B except for a couple of Colombianos from Miami I met on the plane who gave me their number and told me to call them if our meeting turned out to be a dud.

[jediknight]

the girls i met over the years on amigos.com knew that i was meeting other girls just like i knew that they would be meeting other guys. it would be silly to deny this so it makes sense to tell the truth from the beginning. my advice is to find out what their schedules are like and work around that. some girls work while others don't so you can plan to be with one most of the day and another at night. since i visited colombia for a month at a time, i could afford to devote an entire day to a girl so she wouldn't feel like there was another waiting later that evening. if she later wanted to plan something for the next day and i had something lined up with another girl, i would tell her. a little competition was always a great motivator.
JK

[Dan Las Vegas]

I flew to meet only one woman I had been writing to for quite some time, due to scheduling conflicts, we were never able to meet. I did not really have a back up plan other than heading to an agency in Medellin if it did not work out, luckily for me, we had incredible chemistry from the first moment and I'm about to head to Medellin again this month for my third time since February to spend more time with her. To be honest, I don't recommend this method, as I was very luck in many ways...take the time to get to really know the girl as best as possible via letters, web cams, phone conversations, but keep in mind that everything is different in person, keep plan B and C available if it does not work out.  Success can be had in many ways, there is not just one method that works.

[atomik]

My plan for my last trip worked well for me.  I paid Mark's agency for a few contacts, but also had a few other numbers from girls I met on line and on a previous trip.  The chance of meeting a person in a single trip who will make a great wife is difficult, but I guess possible.  In my case I was not looking for a LTR, (Long term relationship).  I was just looking to not be alone during the trip.

I had some nice dinners with some of the girls I had contacted before my trip and also met a few new friends at local bars and the disco.  The trick IMHO is to have some plans, but be flexible enough to go with the flow.   If magic is meant to happen, it will.