Staying Safe in Cali

[rpcv]

The following may be obvious but here are a few suggestions/things about Cali.

1) Try to dress somewhat similar to the locals. In only two days here now, I´ve noticed 3 Americans wearing shorts with white socks and sneakers. The sneakers are ok, but the shorts and white socks made it easy to spot them. I wouldn´t suggest wearing clothes like that unless you enjoy the stares and added attention.

2) Taxis are everywhere but as a safety precaution I try to call first for one since randomly selecting one on the street especially late at night can be risky.

3) Sometimes folks will watch you head into the ATM for cash. I´ve witnessed a European and American here actually opening the door while still counting their pesos. I scan who is nearby before I go in and then put the pesos in different pockets before I leave the ATM.

4) I always make copies of my important documents, such as passport, travel ticket and card numbers.

5) When walking back to my hotel, I take different routes so as not to have the same routine every day.

[papi]

good advice. i try to avoid wearing shorts unless i am heading to the gym or hiking. the ATM's inside the mall is a better bet - just make sure you are not being followed. i carry a laminated color photo copy of my passport. it looks official and used in once in panama with no problems

[doombug]

If safety is your concern, then get your hands on one of these fully loaded APCs.


http://www.tanksforsale.co.uk/OT64_SKOT_APC_for_sale_page.htm

"We are a Russian armoured & surplus military vehicle and dealer. Over the last 4 years we have imported 8 BMP1s and varients.

"We have TWO OT64 for sale IN THE UK. These vehicles are direct from Czech Army imported by ourselves. They are available for immediate purchase or for hire for Business Promotion/Static/Mobile Advertising, or for Film and TV hire."

Or, for traversing the streets of Cali.

If fifteen tons of Czech steel is a bit much to lug around in Colombia, then consider the lighter, sexier Trojan:



Click on the video at the link below to see the developer's demo (strangely enough, the one and only Troy Hurtubise, of Project Grizzly fame):

http://tcal.net/archives/2007/02/08/the-trojan-full-body-armor-designed-by-troy-hurtubise/

The final bidding reached $35,100 before he "terminated" the listing.

[valleydude]

I remember years ago, people were posting that the FARC was reading this board to find potential victims; so depending on the colors available, I think I will be getting the suit... I read on here that importing cars is expensive.

VD

[valleydude]

Here's my plan!

I'm getting the suit, except I am going to modify it to spray my favorite cologne instead of tear gas.

VD

[doombug]

I'm debating whether to get the VDDSPRO model (Venereal Disease Detection Scanner with  Pustule Recognition Optics), or the one that carries the JAKAWFFS package (Johnson Arousal Kit with All Weather Fantasy Female Simulator) for those lonely nights in the hotel room when the agencies haven't pulled through for me.

Oh, and both models come with a multi-dick CD console (Condom Dispenser) for those evenings when you and your buds are out and about getting your groove on...and on...and on... 

Because it's Trojan.

Safety. And protection.

[valleydude]

I like the sound of the VDDSPRO model, but do you know if the CD console replaces the world clock? (Need the clock for citas!)

VD
Not for VDDS

[papi]

I'm debating whether to get the VDDSPRO model (Venereal Disease Detection Scanner with  Pustule Recognition Optics), or the one that carries the JAKAWFFS package (Johnson Arousal Kit with All Weather Fantasy Female Simulator) for those lonely nights in the hotel room when the agencies haven't pulled through for me.

Oh, and both models come with a multi-dick CD console (Condom Dispenser) for those evenings when you and your buds are out and about getting your groove on...and on...and on...

Because it's Trojan.

Safety. And protection.

Pustule Recognition Optics - hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

[doombug]

I like the sound of the VDDSPRO model, but do you know if the CD console replaces the world clock? (Need the clock for citas!)

Sorry, but you must have been watching a different video. The Trojan comes standard with a world cock, not clock. (I know this is getting a bit racy, mods, so we can just pretend that that word is referring to roosters.) The BUSTNUT-12 is a neoprene sheath that you slip your member into, and which provides protection and assures peak arousal levels in every time zone except those inhabited by lepers, aborigines, and AWs.

[papi]

The BUSTNUT-12 is a neoprene sheath...

LOLOLOL!! I know you got game. Too fricking hilarious. Thanks for making PL a better place

[doombug]

Thanks.

But what might really make PL a better place would be if this forum had live, summertime webcam feeds to the beaches and pools of Colombia.

Imagine all the hot chicks we'd see!



 

Yowza, yowza!

[Calipro]

The following may be obvious but here are a few suggestions/things about Cali.

1) Try to dress somewhat similar to the locals. In only two days here now, I´ve noticed 3 Americans wearing shorts with white socks and sneakers. The sneakers are ok, but the shorts and white socks made it easy to spot them. I wouldn´t suggest wearing clothes like that unless you enjoy the stares and added attention.

2) Taxis are everywhere but as a safety precaution I try to call first for one since randomly selecting one on the street especially late at night can be risky.

3) Sometimes folks will watch you head into the ATM for cash. I´ve witnessed a European and American here actually opening the door while still counting their pesos. I scan who is nearby before I go in and then put the pesos in different pockets before I leave the ATM.

4) I always make copies of my important documents, such as passport, travel ticket and card numbers.

5) When walking back to my hotel, I take different routes so as not to have the same routine every day.

All good points but you missed the most important one. Just don't piss anybody off in Cali enough to want to pay someone to have you killed.

[Cali-vet]

With the exceptions of Vignola´s shooting on Cra 5ta in barrio Calima, the bat specialist´s killing at an ATM in the south end and a drunk guy returning from Juanchito every incident I have ever heard of involving gringos getting mugged, picked up by bad taxis etc. etc. in Cali has occured late at night on or near Ave Sexta. That is the principal nightlife destination for toursts and the bad guys know it. I lived in the city for over two years and never even had a close call and that includes plenty of time spent in a strata two barrio.

[doombug]

And yet the rep continues to precede them:

Top 5 Most Dangerous Countries in the World
Top 5 Nations Where Safety is Last

By Fabiola Hernandez
Published March 02, 2007

Drugs, murders, human trafficking, and terrorism are all indicators of violence in our world, with its presence more heavily noted in some countries than others. People live in fear and delinquents do not value human life where crime is prevalent; a common element of their daily lives. Forthcoming is a list numerating the most dangerous countries (not at war) on our planet and the reasons behind it, in correlation with statistics on NationMaster.com. You wouldn't want to be caught dead living there, literally.

5. Russia. In this crime-ridden, ex-Soviet state, no longer does the government stuff their Armani suits with rubles, but the vandals and gangsters. The Russian mafia runs amuck, there are more gangsters than police, and a Russian is assassinated every 18 minutes, averaging 84 murders per day in a nation of 143 million. The nucleus of Russian crime is stationed in the Republic of Chechnya, a region within Russia just north of Georgia. Prostitution, drug trafficking, and underground restaurants are arbitrarily controlled by the Chechens. Foreigners are kidnapped more frequently due to the higher ransom allocated. Crimes towards include but are not limited to: pick pocketing wallets, cell phones, cameras, cash, and physical assaults. From superpower to Third World country, think tanks are beginning to speculate if communism really was the cure for Russia.

4. Venezuela. Political tension and a widening gap between the high and low classes (the middle class is thinning tremendously) are to blame for this country's ridiculously high crime rates. Homicide has skyrocketed by 67% since Hugo Chavez took office in 1999. It has one of the highest gun-related deaths in the world, categorizing it as one of the most dangerous nations in Latin America and the world. Corrupt law enforcement does not do much to keep civil order, as many policemen themselves are delinquents in uniform. This causes victim citizens to take orders into their own hands. Hitmen can be hired for as little as $20. People are shot and killed for petty reasons such as dirty looks and insults. Murders in Venezuela average 5 per day in a nation of 25.6 million.

3. Jamaica. This island country has a bad reputation for crime ever since the rise of tourism, especially in its capital, Kingston. Gangs and politics are the cause for most civil break outs and manifestations which quickly can escalate to shootings. An average of 5 murders per day in a small nation of 2.6 million is tremendously high. Crimes usually occur in the poorer sectors of big cities, though that does not confine it. Corruption and the wide-spread illegal drug trade contribute to the increasing numbers of assaults, robberies, and murders. The Jamaican law enforcement is weak and ineffective and the lower class has thing, stringy ties with family units, combining to create the resort to violence and theft. The first thing people usually see when they tune into the news at night, are reports of deaths.

2. South Africa. The rich class in South Africa has moved into gated communities, creating a schism between classes and evidently races, one which was theoretically abolished during the apartheid. It is ranked first in rapes per capita amongst the whole world and has a notorious record for car hijacking. The problem is so severe, that women are allowed to speed through red lights to avoid being car hijacked, or worse. One of its capitals, Johannesburg, is the most dangerous, with almost all middle-class and high-class families carrying weapons merely for protection. Peter Murgatroyd, resident of Cape Town, says "As a 30 year old born in SA spending most of my life here, I have stab wounds in my back, a few times I've had a gun shoved in my face, my car and house broken several times and I purchased another 'security' product this week. Enough said." (BBC.com) South Africa averages 50 murders a day in a nation of 47 million.

1. Colombia. Infamous for its guerillas, illegal cocaine "industry", and corrupt government, no wonder Colombia ranks as "The Most Dangerous Country in the World". Bombings targeting civilians are common and terrorism is a way of life for most citizens who have grown accustomed to the chaos. It has a high rating for kidnappings with ransoms, with businesspeople, tourists, journalists, and scientists being frequent targets, though no one is actually excluded from kidnappings. Hot spots include ATMs, taxis, restaurants, and simply walking down the street. Those who try to resist robberies usually get shot and killed. Bogota, Baranquilla, Cartagena, and Medellin are statistically categorized as the most dangerous cities, with Medellin holding the title of the Drug Capital and "Most Dangerous City in the World." With 11 murders a day in a city of merely 2 million, its murder rates is quintupled that of New York City. In recent years, murders rates in Colombia have dropped, but not enough to pass the title to South Africa. Though what was previously mentioned may be misinformation, as critics have accused President Uribe of manipulating the crime date, making Colombia seem safer than it really is. What is behind all the heinous crimes? An expanding drug market and a plethora of terrorist groups, and a government that does nothing about it. Colombia averages 47 murders a day in a nation of 45 million, giving it the crown of "Most Dangerous".

Ms. Hernandez writes on an eclectic body of topics.

Check out this one on friends:

Why Friends Do Not Exist.

Or this one on expatriation:

Expatriation and What It's All About.

And yet another on a place recently visited by the board's town crier, Don Pap:

What Everyone Should Know About Iceland.
(For instance: It's the oldest democracy in the world, at 1,000 years.) 

Finally, this, a must-read for the LA neophyte:

How to Survive in South America. A North American's Guide.

But since Ms. Hernandez supports illegal-immigration, she must be rightly branded a kook.