virgins vs mommy

[papi]

I am with my dear friend the Ruskie and I think soltero on not really wanting a virgin. I could careless about that. But I have dated women with kids as there is a high % in latin america with children mostly from deadbeat former novios. In my view, I also question the responsibility of the women. I realize that latin america is a far different culture. I also realize that accidents happen but I am of the opinion that these women could be more careful and lean toward wanting a woman free of children or possibly one that had a kid with a former spouse and got divorced. My 2 centavos on the matter

[rpcv]

I realize that latin america is a far different culture. I also realize that accidents happen but I am of the opinion that these women could be more careful and lean toward wanting a woman free of children or possibly one that had a kid with a former spouse and got divorced.

As someone who does not currently have kids, I would prefer to date a lady who does not have any children either. I think besides culture, religion is also a factor here too. If the Colombian woman is Catholic, she might tend to not believe in birth control methods and as such could possibly have a kid or two. I had a previous girlfriend here in the USA who was Catholic and didn't want to use birth control. That is one of the reasons she is a "ex girlfriend".

[Ray]

There is already an active thread on this topic. Why start a new thread   

[papi]

Ray, feel free to combine or insert the thread wherever you so choose...lol

[papi]

RP, not once has a latina...and i have dated more than a few had any issues with BC. The problem is that the men don't want to use them...and the latinas go along with it. You will find less of this among the better educated

[DVito]

Birth control is easier than exercising caution and discretion. But the Vatican isn't trying to have any of that. Then again, pills are used regularly in Chile and Argentina, at least according to some old time friends from there.

[Fuzzyone]

Ray, feel free to combine or insert the thread wherever you so choose...lol

   Yes it does not make alot of sense starting a new thread when you post on a old thread or one that is dropping down the forum it will come to the top due to a new post right?

[utopiacowboy]

My wife is Catholic and she uses birth control. She used the rhythm method for a long time but her cycles are not as regular any more so it was time to try something else. The Pope says what he wants but I think most Catholics follow their own common sense on this issue.

[el_ruso]

I have not had issues with using birth control EVER.  Actually I found them to be quite paranoid about it.

As I have said many times, I do not have children, and do not mind a woman with a child because I can afford it.  As long as she wants to make more of course.  As I have mentioned before, this makes a woman more mature and gives a heads up on what kind of a mother she will be.  My conditions will be:
1) she has to be a good mother, capable of loving the kid and knowing to discipline.  If she shows this in abundance, actually it becomes a huge plus versus a childless woman IMO.
2) I do NOT want to deal with the father.  But this is rarely a problem in LA.  The "Western" custom of fathers sharing the custody, visiting and participating in the kid's life will not be at all acceptable, even though I will sympathize with the guy.  The women is either with ONLY me, or with the other dude.  I do not want any other men involved in our family.
3) and of course that I like the kid, and the kid likes me.

I disagree with Papi on responsibility.  There are things worse than getting pregnant.  Why should a woman be tormented, or feel guilty, or feel like she did something wrong by getting pregnant and raising a child?  She has not done anything bad to anyone by getting pregnant, and her maturity and sacrifice should only be respected at the very least.  If you specifically don't want a woman with children, that is your personal choice.  Some women for example would not date a man younger than them, or older by more than 5 years, or someone with a belly, or of different religion, etc. 

There is no real stigma in LA on being a single mother, just a major inconvenience.  What I actually like in colombianas is that they yearn to be mothers, and usually make excellent ones.  When a Russian woman gets pregnant, and it is "inconvenient" for her to have a kid, she will most likely have an abortion or place him in an orphanage.  When a Colombian woman gets pregnant, she may leave in dirt and do whatever sacrifice, but she will selflessly love and care for the kid.  Again, there are exceptions of course, but this seems to be my experience. 

[Christopher]

Virgins or mommies?

I vote neither, thanks.

[papi]

I disagree with Papi on responsibility.  There are things worse than getting pregnant.

true, there are worse things. But even intelligent, educated latinas would agree that it is not responsible to get pregnant outside of marriage. To argue otherwise is retarded in my humble opinion

[Nicks]

Guys,

in panama you mostly see un educated or poor girls having kids at a young age. The upper middle or upper class dont have that problem. I asked my mother in law who is a doctor and worked for some time with teen age mothers, and she told me that the biggest reason these kids get pregnant is the guy. He says he will dump the girl if he has tu use a condom, or he says, dont worry i will pull out. The girl is young, and wants love, so she goes ahead with what the guy says..9 month later..baby time! They are too poor or to she to get birthcontrol pills for them self. The same thing happens to the young girls in there 20s. remember that in latin america, its still ^NOT GOOD TO HAVE SEX BEFORE MARRIGE^ everyone does it, and they ask forgivness in church on sunday. Point being, hhat buyng condoms, and birthcontrol pills, when you are a young singlöe latin woman, is not something to flash in the open.

my 5 cents

[smith]

I met a 38 year old woman who told me she was a virgin. I guess she was lying to me ?

[utopiacowboy]

"Point being, hhat buyng condoms, and birthcontrol pills, when you are a young singlöe latin woman, is not something to flash in the open."

Looked pretty open to me. I was walking with my wife and she stopped at a drogeria on the street, went behind a curtain and the guy gave her a shot in the ass which was a contraceptive. I wasn't too happy about the guy getting a nice look at those cheeks in that thong but such is life. I guess he sees hot Colombiana butts all day.

[Parlay Rey]

One of the biggest reasons women have children in Latin America (particularly those from lower socioeconomic status) is to have a safety net. No social security means no one to take care of them when they grow older. One especially sees this with families that come from rural/farming areas.

Of course, this isn't ALWAYS the case, but somewhere in the backs of their minds I don't doubt this is some of the reasoning behind the justification.

Esos solo son mis dos centavos, ¿oiste?

[papi]

Esos solo son mis dos centavos, ¿oiste?

claro q si

[el_ruso]

A lot of girls actually want to get pregnant.  In part they think (wrongfully) that this way they can keep the guy around, and besides they want their own kids.  They are taken more seriously if they have one.

I used to work with a gorgeous Mexican girl actually HERE who was 17, and she was desperate to get pregnant.  She actually did, and had a miscarriage, and tried to kill herself.  She managed to get pregnant for good a few months later, and she was genuinely very happy.  She was dating two different drug dealers at the time, and was not sure which one was the father.  Actually, when they found out about each other, it was quite an interesting story when she returned to work  .

Paps, LA culture is very different in regards to having kids.  People in the West try NOT to get kids.  People over there more often than not DO try to get kids.  And the girls are not being irresponsible.  Those kids are genuinely loved, even though the father is not around.  Since you have claimed to be the expert on Latin culture, you should be aware of that.

[papi]

Paps, LA culture is very different in regards to having kids.  People in the West try NOT to get kids.  People over there more often than not DO try to get kids.  And the girls are not being irresponsible.  Those kids are genuinely loved, even though the father is not around.  Since you have claimed to be the expert on Latin culture, you should be aware of that.

Let me this clear: I am no expert! If I was, I would have married a long time ago and have a few more pesos in my pocket. However, I still don't feel getting knocked up without a husband is generally the responsible thing to do and the majority of the educated "latin culture" you mention is 100% in agreement with me. You are the one once again offtrack on this matter.

[Parlay Rey]

Let me this clear: I am no expert! If I was, I would have married a long time ago and have a few more pesos in my pocket. However, I still don't feel getting knocked up without a husband is generally the responsible thing to do and the majority of the educated "latin culture" you mention is 100% in agreement with me. You are the one once again offtrack on this matter.

I concur. Of the women I dated from various Latin American countries there was a direct correlation between the amount of education and the desire (or lack thereof) to have children early on.

I never wanted a single mother and so ended up dating mostly college educated/professional women.

[papi]

is parlay rey a play on betting king? do you live in vegas?

[el_ruso]

I believe it means "the king speaks" in French.  but I might be wrong.

and I do agree that the wealthier women, especially the "career-oriented" ones tend not to have children early on.  however, I would prefer a single mother over a career-oriented PhD.  But that's my personal choice.  Everyone has different tastes.  However, Paps, you have to realize that a lot of those single mothers made a choice to be single mothers, and more often than not are happy with that choice.  I don't think you should expect everyone to embrace your values.

[soltero]

I believe it means "the king speaks" in French.  but I might be wrong.

and I do agree that the wealthier women, especially the "career-oriented" ones tend not to have children early on.  however, I would prefer a single mother over a career-oriented PhD.  But that's my personal choice.  Everyone has different tastes.  However, Paps, you have to realize that a lot of those single mothers made a choice to be single mothers, and more often than not are happy with that choice.  I don't think you should expect everyone to embrace your values.

Rey is Spanish for King and Parley is slang for talk or have a conversation (I think). It (Parley) is neither Spanish or French. "Le Roi Parle" would be "the King speaks" in French.

N'est-ce pas mon ami Russe ?
No es, mi amigo Ruso?

[el_ruso]

Sol,

I don't speak French, so I did write I might be wrong  . 
I just gave it as my theory.

how many languages do you speak? 

[Parlay Rey]

is parlay rey a play on betting king? do you live in vegas?

Parlay Rey is a play on betting king. And I do live here in Sin City.

Parlay is also "urban vernacular" for for 'maxin' and relaxin' and 'creating something from nothing'. 

Although I'm no doombug, I couldn't resist.

[papi]

papi scores again. i might be heading to vegas in april. drinks on you...lol

i like dice and bj but rarely win