how much arguing is too much arguing?

[garythfla]

i got to thinking about something i wrote on here earlier today and it caused me to think about this question.

when you have been in a relationship with a relationship with a latina did you argue a lot? what did/do you consider the point that "ok, something's not right here"?

i'm just sort of looking to see what the guys on here with latina's (especially the guys with latina wives) have to say about this.

does it seem to you guys that women in general, regardless off nationality, just seem to complain and whine endlessly? if so, how do you insulate yourself from it?

one more thing....if a woman is endlessly whining and complaining do you take that as a sign that she is unhappy with you? i have learned over the years that women will rarely if ever come right out and break up with you...they usually just try to infuriate you to the point that you break up with them (i think its so they can go around playing "the victim", but thats just my opinion).

[papi]

making up is fun but in my view an always complaining, jealous, argumentative latina is not a keeper. Well, i guess that rules out colombia...Thailand anyone? lol

[bundy_138]

Well, I learned at a young age that a woman is always right.  Never go to bed mad and never raise your voice.  When I am in love, I just pack up my ba**s and put them on the top shelf in the closet.  It makes life much easier and it keeps the drama to a minimum.  Latinas are very hot headed!  Believe me, my ex is Latina and sometime I have to take my punishment concerning my son, but as always, I bite my lip.  Make her feel like she is the boss, but make it known who wear the pants.  Do it the right way and she will love it and respect you at the same time!

Bundy

[garythfla]

well, i guess thats why i'm still single.....i believe my ba**s are supposed to stay where God intended them,lol, not where some woman thinks they should be.

[bundy_138]

Believe me, I do it by choice.  I could be a "man" about everything but it would make things worse.  Women want to be right all the time.  I let em' be right and just go with the flow!  You get much more love when your women is happy all the time!  Gotta sacrifice the manliness for happiness!

Bundy

[Looking4Wife]

when you have been in a relationship with a relationship with a latina did you argue a lot? what did/do you consider the point that "ok, something's not right here"?

i'm just sort of looking to see what the guys on here with latina's (especially the guys with latina wives) have to say about this.

Of the 5 Colombianas that I dated seriously, I only dated one that argued with me a lot.  We only argued because her mother was interfering with, i.e. trying to destroy/control, our relationship.  Her mother's iron hand was normal for her, but unacceptable for me. 

does it seem to you guys that women in general, regardless off nationality, just seem to complain and whine endlessly? if so, how do you insulate yourself from it?

Some women are just plain drama queens.  I have not dated or met any women in Barranquilla that I would describe as drama queens.  I have met and dated many on American soil.

one more thing....if a woman is endlessly whining and complaining do you take that as a sign that she is unhappy with you?

REPEAT:  Some women are just plain drama queens.  A drama queen tends to complain out of habit, or to get attention, or because they are chronically irresponsible and continually get themselves in unfortunate situations.  Usually their "unhappiness" is with themselves, and projected outward toward others.  It may have nothing whatsoever to do with you.

Side note:  people say that Latinas are hot-headed, and I used to think the same thing... until I went to Barranquilla.  I agree that "Americanized" Latinas (i.e. those who grew up here) can tend to be hot headed.  The girls I interacted with in Barranquilla did not display this quality.  Even the girl that argued with me a lot, our "arguments" were not of a hot-headed nature at all. 

[garythfla]

i agree with what you said about the hot headed latina myth.....i would say the vast majority of the latina's i have met in south america have been anything but hot headed. imo they had/have very sweet and laidback personalities. of course not every last one of them were like this but alot of them were.

[sean126]

As some can tell from my writing style and word choice...that I'm an admitted loud mouth at times.  More times, often than not...I think the way I do things is correct.  Often they are, but that's only because I believe in anticipting problems before they arise rather than waiting to deal with them as they come.  Most of the women I've dated wait until a problem comes up, where as I like to anticipate and I come off as a know-it-all...but the problem lies in the realization that I was right after it materialized later on.  They can't stand either.

The arguing portion...I think Bundy is right.  With a woman, you either have to decide one of two things....do you want to be right or do you want to be happy.  I'm very opinionated...it's my nature and I'm also very blunt to make sure someone knows exactly what I'm saying the first time.  My problem is...and I'm sure with some men also, is in the way we say things and the tone we use.  I learned the hard way that I can't talk as rough to women as I can with men.  

As far as ba**s, if you think about it....there's very little to argue about anyway.  Most of the time I let her do what ever she wants without saying a word.  I'm not talking about running up a mastercard or going on a $2,000 buy spree for new shoes...but if she wants to paint the house purple with green polka-dots then that's her business.  I'm old fashioned and she has full run of the house, that's her domain and she's the queen there.  I only take charge on extreme money matters and....well, I guess that's it so far.  Wow, I didn't realize that I'm basically in charge of nothing right now. LOLOLOL.  

Alot of times I think a woman will argue when she don't think your seeing her side or point of view on something.  I've learned I don't have to agree, but I do have to understand and let her know that I see her view point.  The main difference I've noticed with latin women is...you can argue, but that's all it is. A disagreement.  My wife is quick to let me know that I drive her crazy, but that she loves me and I'm her bebito.

Anyone can puff out their chest, but I think a smart man will pick his battles and know that many times...a woman just wants to be heard and understood more so than agreed with.  Anything to do with the house, food, furniture, ect...We call her domain.  She's the boss.  

Actually, I only pull them out on big decisions and then I still pray about it, hear her side and opinion of it, decide how important it is for me vs. the importance of it to her and then I believe I do what God wants me to do.  She respects my opinion and I value hers, because sometimes I can't exactly hear Him talking to me and she helps me hear His voice sometimes.

I think one of the reasons for getting to know someone comes into play here.  If your temperments are polar opposites too much then it will definitely be an unhappy relationship.

[garythfla]

i'm not talking about puffing my chest out or being a domineering a**hole....in some of my earlier posts what i was sort of hinting at is that i dont believe in being a pushover (or a pu**y is the way i really think of it,lol) and i have seen a lot of guys (not on this board, gringo's at agencies in colombia) that were pushovers.

the whole point of my original post was.... (and i dont think i was clear about it)....is that i dont try to enforce my will on women. i am actually pretty laid back and i pretty much behave the way sean was describing his personality......which is why i had all these questions about whether all the pi**ing and moaning i had experienced was normal,lol.

When i was at latin intorductions last july i saw a lot of guys there that just let some of the girls run wild,lol. this one guy was complaining that this one girl always wanted to go to the same place for lunch everyday (they were spending $120 for both of them) yet he kept taking her even though it was breaking him financially,lol. this girl had her own apartment but didnt have a job if i remember correctly........i asked him why he didnt put a stop to it if it was putting him in a bind and he just looked at me as if i had started suddenly speaking chinese or something,lol.

[sean126]

Gary,
I know exactly what your talking about now.  Yeah, in my opinion you'd be right if she thought you were diamond Jim Brady or something.  I have to pull the reins in on my wife sometimes.  I am beginning to see that all married men will have resistance as far as the money situation goes.  For the most part she's ok with it and then there are days when she forgets about the bills that are coming due. LOL.

Definitely take your time to see the bad side of someone, we all have one.  If it was a cultural thing...I'd still say get someone that won't drive you nutty everyday.  I wouldn't worry about pi**ing and moaning too much, when you find the right girl then that will be kept to a minimum. 

[papi]

i have my first whiner who seems to want her way and she is driving me nuts. I will be glad to be done with her

[utopiacowboy]

My chemical engineer and I very rarely argue. Even when we disagree it's usually just a discussion back and forth.

[sawyer1370]

I guess I take a similar approach to Sean and Gary.  Being married takes some work, and some new thinking as a man.  Is it worth being right just to have you and your wife pissed at each other.  Nope!  Just like in many other things in life, you have to pick your battles.  For the most part, I'm not easily phased.  Sometimes my wife and eye may not see eye to eye or things, those times just need to be talked through.

Most of the time my wife gets upset is because I made a mistake or dropped the ball.  After trying to see her side, I realize the error in my ways, and that's it.  When she makes mistakes, I call her on it.  If you find yourself arguing a lot, ask what are you arguing about.  If it is because you are far apart on an important issue (money, sex/affections, trust, communication, etc.) then that should raise a red flag.  Take a look at what the leading causes for a relationship to end.  If you don't have a very similar point of view on those things, then likely things won't last in the long run.

Just my .02 cents.

[Christopher]

REPEAT:  Some women are just plain drama queens.  A drama queen tends to complain out of habit, or to get attention, or because they are chronically irresponsible and continually get themselves in unfortunate situations.  Usually their "unhappiness" is with themselves, and projected outward toward others.  It may have nothing whatsoever to do with you.

Side note:  people say that Latinas are hot-headed, and I used to think the same thing... until I went to Barranquilla.  I agree that "Americanized" Latinas (i.e. those who grew up here) can tend to be hot headed.  The girls I interacted with in Barranquilla did not display this quality.  Even the girl that argued with me a lot, our "arguments" were not of a hot-headed nature at all. 

Drama queens.  Oh, man, could I tell you stories....

I totally disagree about Latinas being hot-headed.  If they DO get pissed, then oh my gosh.  But I've yet to meet any group of women that are more stable.

I've had about 50-60 dates in the last two years. 

No, I'm not making that up.  I've also worked with about 20 women over the last 5-8 years. 

Number of Latinas known/dated/worked with:  8
Number hot headed/drama queens:  0
Number yuppies:  1

Number of gringas known/dated/worked with:  40 or so
Number hot headed/drama queens:  30
Number yuppies:  15