Regular Guys...Where you at?

[Kiltboy1]

Thanks BB

Yep, first time around went without knowing Spanish, trusting in the agency owner because she painted a very Rosy picture, went for the body without really knowing anything about her and assumed she wanted the same out of life as me. BIG WRONGIE !


second time in the search i knew Spanish very well, made a game plan of the kind of woman i wanted and would not settle for anything less no matter how hot she was. I got lucky in that i found everything i could want in one woman, but i stuck to my plan and did not deviate from it like i did the first go around.

KB

[blockbuster]

 This topic is uncomforatble to many. I'm not saying I beleive everyone going to "poorer" countries can't get a woman here. of course they can. Just not the caliber you can get in their country.  and that's due to economics.
You can have the best personality in the world, but economics helps overseas.

   On every given weekend in NYC, Miami,NJ and a lot of other states there are clubs chockful of beautiful, young, available women from Colombia, Brazil, Venezuela ect. Someone is going home with these girls. usually a younger guy or guys with cash! . In some of these clubs, the immigration is so recent some of the girls can't even speak English yet.
Why does'nt anyone go to these clubs to meet young latinas. they all love to go dancing. I the meantime, though  you may not like the girls there,  but still good place to make friends who can potentially introduce you to "nice girls'.  But truth is what many do not want to face. Economically these "nice" young girls they may introduce you to are no longer impressed with older gringo who is interested.

  I see this all the time with my latino's friends nieces,sisters. They get insulted when some old gringo comes checking them out. But I wonder had they been back in their country and never made it to the U.S. if they would have been flattered by the attention instead.

The U.s. does not breed bitches. It's the oppurtunity to financially support yourself and see people with real big money that does that. With that said it's much easier to impress a latina by being a rich gringo back in her country. Otherwise,why would she even want to leave home, marry a man she can barely communicate with, has not known very long,adapt to a new culture on her own. Plenty of poor young guys around who are probably dying to marry her.

 As PR said,women seek men who can economically take care of them. So why is it so hard to admit the financial advantage an AM has over the average foreign man gives him a big advantage.? At least for while till she gets to the U.S. and the advantage is gone. That is when you sink or swim.

[blockbuster]

 You know if my sister came home with  a guy she said she intended on marrying who was much older and both could not communicate in a common language  i would either think she's on crack or he's mighty rich.! .

 But this is the American prospective,

[Parlay Rey]

This topic is uncomforatble to many. I'm not saying I beleive everyone going to "poorer" countries can't get a woman here. of course they can. Just not the caliber you can get in their country.  and that's due to economics.
You can have the best personality in the world, but economics helps overseas.

**fat pockets help all over the world. that's basic anthropology with women, not unique to 3rd world countries. Anna Nicole Smith and J. Howard Marshall, right?

On every given weekend in NYC, Miami,NJ and a lot of other states there are clubs chockful of beautiful, young, available women from Colombia, Brazil, Venezuela ect. Someone is going home with these girls. usually a younger guy or guys with cash! . In some of these clubs, the immigration is so recent some of the girls can't even speak English yet.
Why does'nt anyone go to these clubs to meet young latinas. they all love to go dancing.

**agee wholeheartedly. these guys don't fish there because they don't do enough upfront due diligence.

I the meantime, though  you may not like the girls there,  but still good place to make friends who can potentially introduce you to "nice girls'.  But truth is what many do not want to face. Economically these "nice" young girls they may introduce you to are no longer impressed with older gringo who is interested.

**again, good point. the best way to meet a foreign born Latina here in the US is via personal introduction from one of her family members or friends. Aside from that, it's not impossible, but you'll be paddling upstream for a long time, even if you do speak Spanish.

I see this all the time with my latino's friends nieces,sisters. They get insulted when some old gringo comes checking them out. But I wonder had they been back in their country and never made it to the U.S. if they would have been flattered by the attention instead.

**agreed. physical attractiveness rates far higher to  women regardless of what the 'marriage agency' pundits may tell you.

The U.s. does not breed bitches. It's the oppurtunity to financially support yourself and see people with real big money that does that.

**I respectfully disagree. It is much more because of the system of Entitlement Materialist Feminism so prevalent in all Western societies that breeds these man-hating,  boorish women. Or as you say, 'bitches'.

With that said it's much easier to impress a latina by being a rich gringo back in her country. Otherwise,why would she even want to leave home, marry a man she can barely communicate with, has not known very long,adapt to a new culture on her own.

**LOL and here in the US too. money talks worldwide, brother. worldwide.

Plenty of poor young guys around who are probably dying to marry her.

**I agree somewhat, blockbuster but Latin America and Colombia in particular there are plenty more attractive, available young women reasons for him not to marry her.

As PR said,women seek men who can economically take care of them.

**edit. agreed. from the anthro standpoint, women seek security and men seek fertility.

[Jeff S]

But to think we are not going to Colombia,Russia the Fillipines for the economic advantage we don't have is being blind.  Why not Spain, Greece,Italy,Iceland,Sweeden? Because most of the beautiful women in those countries are more difficult to get, even with a great personality and taking care of yourself ,unless you have a bit of an economic advantage.

Not me. I went to a first world country and married a millionaire's daughter.

[soltero]

 Sol,

 Do you speak fluent Spanish? Did you when you first started looking? Aren't good  relationships built on communication?  How do you really get to know each other if you can't tell each other your hopes,dreams,situations that molded you into who you are today? Your fears,wants ect. Freely discuss your day.
Were you able to see this girl everyday  for months and see how she interacts with her family, friends, ect? Or just see them when you get vacation time? Yes a man may preffer a girl from SA, but there are plenty here. fact is, it;s easier to hook up with a hottie in SA.

    Now if you first went to SA because you loved the culture, was fluent in the language like some of my latino friends. then I can fully understand why you went there in the first place.

But a majority of guys going to "certain" foreign countries 1st time

 * can't speak the language or communicate with the girls,
 *need a translator,
 *need to use vacation time(1-2 weeks) to get to know her,
 *go through the whole K-1 process and wait
 *literally have to babysit her as she goes through her adjustment in the U.S.
 * Possibly have to send money to her family at any emergency
 * Sole provider till she can work
 *may have kids and family and friends who can't communicate with her.
 *keep your fingers crossed she can adapt to the U.S. and does'nt get too homesick,ect

and say they just do it cause they are full of choices here but would rather take the difficult route of going South because every latina here has issues is not being fully honest. You can get a hotter girl there than you can here and that's the truth!

 Perhaps back in his hayday a guy could get any girl he wanted. But years and added weight takes that away. That's when he travels and puts up with all of these issues so he could get a girl he dreamed of not available to him, Or the type of girl he was able to attract back in the days.

 Now Kiltboy, I really think you did well this time around. I think with your first marriage their were issues within yourself you were able to work on. As soon as you upped your caliber, it was easy to attract the caliber of woman you wanted.

BB, I am 40 now, and up to recently, I saw no point in marrying anyone other than to have kids. I dated with the thought that I would eventually marry and that I was preparing myself for it, but the women regardless of how they looked were mostly pills. When I did finally decide I wanted to settle down. I mentally retraced years of wild oats sowing, and tried to picture which women I dated  had the most qualities I would want to have in a wife. The Latinas won hands down with the Asians coming in a good second. That in a nutshell propelled me to go south, as i would rather pick the fruit from the vine than gather up a few  that have rolled down the hill. There are gorgeous women everywhere, but the attitudes here stink for the most part. I need someone who understands the word "team" or I don't need anybody.

When I first headed south, I didn't know about the forums, and I screwed up as royally as Kiltboy . I would not call myself fluent now, but I have had Spanish speaking jobs, and I know the culture fairly well and feel comfortable in SA. I have known my amiga for 2 years and when I met her, I was in Cali for 3 months at that time. I am not saying you don't have a point, it's just you can't blanket every guy under the same motivation. I would rather have a Latina than any other type of woman if I could only keep just one, and I would rather her not be confused by most of the jibberish women are force fed here in the name of "political correctness" and "equality".

[blockbuster]

 PR,

  I do feel economics independence and seeing people with really big bucks is what breeds bitches amongs the really beautiful women in the U.S.  If that is not it, how then do you explain the simple fact girls who just get to this country from other poor countries suddenly become so damned picky! The same girl who would have welcomed a decent AM's attention a year ago when she was back in her country?  A friend of mine was just commenting on trying to date a cute Filippina nurse who just began working in the U.S. He says she is very cute, but you can tell she is looking for an AM with money and thinks she's all that. I bet you back in the Filippines, before she got her nursing degree and had the oppurtunity to come to the U.S. and make more money than she ever imagined she was much less picky.

[fathertime]

I am 40 now

  Happy birthday you old relic!  I keep trying to catch you but remain one behind you for some reason!

Fathertime!

[Jeff S]

Again, that's pure nonsense. I'm not denying that there may be a few women who are only looking for money, but if your friend couldn't get a typical cute, single Filipina nurse to go out with him, I guarantee it wasn't because she didn't like his credit report. No way. It couldn't have been his personality - it MUST have been because he didn't have enough money Yeah! That's the ticket!

[blockbuster]

 I think my friend has a good personality. Never had problems getting dates and dates locally often. I don't think he's a bad looking guy. But who am I to judge. He generally does'nt complain about women and money. ?Why does there have to be something wrong with the guy?  He was taken aback at how money oriented she was. Why is that so hard to believe?. I know many guys married to Filippinas who work non-stop in order to bring in more money to the family. Money becomes very important whe they get here.

  Also, if a simple very cute Filippina nurse is so easy for average guys to date here again, why would anyone travel if what you seek is easily available at home??

 Bet you if I had a dating website strickly with  young,cute Filipinas living in the U.S.,hell let's throw in other foreign girls too, men would still travel. Those girls are not simply looking for good personalities anymore. They're pickier.They want the whole cabootle if they can. Looks,personality and a guy who makes a great living. Why should they settle? they are in the richest country in the world. In fact that would make a very good social experiment. I would do it, but that requires time I can't afford. But I'm betting the agencies in foreign countries would have absolutely nothing to worry about.

[Frank Rizzo]

Well, one thing's for sure we're all different. Some wanting an equal professional partner, others wanting a traditional wife. It definately makes the world go round or at least our corner of cyberspace.

No question, there are a bunch of wandering gringo's of colombia that are basically freaks (some). You can spot them like William Hung in an opra house.

At the same time there are those gasolineras milking them. If you haven't learned to attract women or spot a golddigger by 30, no amount of verbal abuse will ever teach someone. Thus, nothing needs to be said, the end result is logical.

Oh well. sorry to interrupt. Continue fighting please.

[rpcv]

Bet you if I had a dating website strickly with young,cute Filipinas living in the U.S.,hell let's throw in other foreign girls too, men would still travel. Those girls are not simply looking for good personalities anymore. They're pickier.They want the whole cabootle if they can. Looks,personality and a guy who makes a great living. Why should they settle?

You said it. In "general", I think it is a reflection that many AW have unrealistic standards. Honestly, I see several attractive women here in the DC area on a daily basis but to try to date any of them is a battle. Attractiveness is in the eye of the beholder but it's not like these ladies are 9's and 10's. They'll continue to play games untill they reach their 30's and then complain that all the "good guys" are taken.

But it is these same guys that approached them in their 20's. Also blockbuster, another thing I noticed is that many women are pickier because they are making more $$ these days and want a guy that makes more than them. ex. I work with a woman who is 32 and complains she can't find a decent guy. I asked her for more specifics and she said someone who makes atleast as much as she does. (she makes 81K a year) Lol!

[Jeff S]

Well, I don't know your friend nor do I know the girl, so she may be a gold digger, and he may be Joe Studley - I don't know. But you made the assumption that before she came to the US, she's have dropped her drawers for any bald Walmart security guard with a roll of quarters but now that she's here she insists on a Ferrarri and a house bigger than 4000 sq feet. That's as unfair as my assumption that your friend probably didn't create attraction in her.

My point - and I still stand behind it - is just because some hottie turns one guy down and ends up hooking up with a guy who has more money than the first - doesn't mean she's a gold digger. I'd wager plenty that in the majority of cases, the first guy came across to her as a wimpy, needy loser and the second, as a self confident, competent, alpha male kind of guy she was attracted to.  Truth is, self confident, competent, alpha male kind of guys do way better with the ladies and usueally do better in business, so end up richer. It is not about the looks or the money - it's about the person.

Anyway, this is my opinion. If you disagree - fine - stay home and whine about how the rich guys get all the good ones.

[blockbuster]

Why should I stay home  and complain about rich guys getting some when. Like you I'd can travel and be the Alpha male.

  As for me implying any Walmart guy would have been a great catch it was not that at all. my friend is a Real estate agent who did excellent in the Miami market in the past 5 years. So it's not like he's a loser and I think she should lower her standards. In fact I happen to beleive you give your best when it comes to FW.

  As I said, I stay fit,make a damned decent living, but I'm pretty honest as the reason I travel.Noone who is a stud here and can get women just by showing their "glowing personality" would even go through this whole process of finding a wife and the difficulties  it entails. It's our economic advantage and the personality which makes us wanted. I've met plenty of guys with sparkling personalities in my travels. Unfortunately, older foreign guys with average  incomes can have lots of personality, lack of money does not make them as popular as personality alone.It's the rich guys in those countries who have mistresses,wives and a rotation of young beautiful available females. I wonder why? No different than the U.S.

[Ray]

A friend of mine was just commenting on trying to date a cute Filippina nurse who just began working in the U.S. He says she is very cute, but you can tell she is looking for an AM with money and thinks she's all that. I bet you back in the Filippines, before she got her nursing degree and had the oppurtunity to come to the U.S. and make more money than she ever imagined she was much less picky.

Oh boy!

Block, you don’t know nearly as much as you pretend to know. I would be willing to bet that she wouldn't date your buddy because he is a jerk.

What ever gave you the idea that young Filipina nurses are so shallow that they would turn an American guy down just because he wasn’t rich? Bull crap!

Or did you even consider the possibility that she preferred something other than American men? Or that perhaps she had no intention of marrying or dating yet?

Those Filipina nurses start out at $30/hr plus with all the overtime they can handle, and they are certainly capable of living comfortably without leaching off of some rich guy or some jerk like your friend.

For example, my wife’s young cute cousin came over from the Philippines 8 years ago with a BS in nursing (RN) and a special visa that gave her a green card on arrival. She passed the nursing license exam and started at $27.50/hr and was working over 80 hours a week with overtime pay and full benefits.

She didn’t date American men because (1) she was too busy working and earning big bucks and (2) she had no special attraction to American men and said she though most of them were shallow and selfish.

She ended up marrying another Filipino nurse that she worked with and they have a nice home and started a family.

And yes, she was quite picky in who she associated with when she was back in the Philippines!

Live and learn…

[blockbuster]

Apparently she gave my friend the reason to think she was into money. She made a comment on diamond earrings she had gotten as a gift and other comments which lead him to believe she expected him to do dumb ass stuff like that too.. He could'nt figure out why anyone would give diamond earrings and thought perhaps they are cubics.

 But you guys assume everyone is an angel and something is always wrong with the guy. I stand by the fact my friend is a decent looking guy who keeps in shape, is funny and does'nt have trouble getting women. Nor is he one to complain about them,so I tend to be on his side on this issue. But perahsps though his being 42 and she being almost 25 was an age issue too. Who knows.

 Why does it seem some are so upset to hear money may be important to recent immigrants here who'se family previously had little. It can be quite intoxicating for some beautiful women  to learn  you can change your future  and your whole family's easily.

 As I said before, if foreign women (under 30 with MUCh better than averager looks)who just moved here are so immune to placing money and status as important why exactly do guys travel? Why not stay here? Noone is answering that question. If they are, they imply all girls here are bitches and that's why you go overseas. then would I not be right,they become just like AW who feel entitled

   Now if any of you guys arguing with me are dating  knockout,young latinas , Filippinas and Russian girls much younger than you here in the U.S. then I will be impressed. But it does'nt seem to be happening. Most guys will find a million and one reasons why he went the hard route overseas as  opposed to simply admitting when beautiful  young FW come here, it's not so easy to attract them unless you have something extra. Either looks, or money. Or looks and Personality, or personality and money. Personality alone does'nt cut it!! Just looking at some young latinas from Miami's MySpace page and you see how easily they are influenced with the good life. Those are girls who can barely speak English.

 Like I said there are tons of Russian clubs,latina clubs and other immigrant clubs everywhere,where you get to meet tons of FW on U.S. ground. Those clubs are full on weekends. Those clubs can lead to friends who can lead to meeting tons of FW. But it's not that easy for the average guy. Why is it such a crime to admit it.

[soltero]

Why does it seem some are so upset to hear money may be important to recent immigrants here who'se family previously had little. It can be quite intoxicating for some beautiful women  to learn  you can change your future  and your whole family's easily.

 As I said before, if foreign women (under 30 with MUCh better than averager looks)who just moved here are so immune to placing money and status as important why exactly do guys travel? Why not stay here? Noone is answering that question. If they are, they imply all girls here are bitches and that's why you go overseas. then would I not be right,they become just like AW who feel entitled

   Now if any of you guys arguing with me are dating  knockout,young latinas , Filippinas and Russian girls much younger than you here in the U.S. then I will be impressed. But it does'nt seem to be happening. Most guys will find a million and one reasons why he went the hard route overseas as  opposed to simply admitting when beautiful  young FW come here, it's not so easy to attract them unless you have something extra. Either looks, or money. Or looks and Personality, or personality and money. Personality alone does'nt cut it!! Just looking at some young latinas from Miami's MySpace page and you see how easily they are influenced with the good life. Those are girls who can barely speak English.

 Like I said there are tons of Russian clubs,latina clubs and other immigrant clubs everywhere,where you get to meet tons of FW on U.S. ground. Those clubs are full on weekends. Those clubs can lead to friends who can lead to meeting tons of FW. But it's not that easy for the average guy. Why is it such a crime to admit it.

Blockbuster, I thought I answered your question. Before I headed South, I started almost exclusively dating Latinas here. Before I started getting serious with my amiga in Cali, I started dating a Latina here who was 21 and at the time, I was 38. It's apples and oranges. The women here can afford to be sillier longer IMHO, and that silliness leads to bad choices, and bitterness in many cases. Expectations not only in what they want from you, but in their own lives tend to be skewed and jacked up. It is not impossible for a guy in his 30's, 40's or whatever to date sexy women here, but by 25, if they haven't gone to college (and some that have) usually have one or two kids. I don't want to buy into that neither here nor there. The 21 year old Latina had no kids, but she was pretty focused on having a good time, and being bisexual doubled her odds of doing just that. She was fun and we are still friends, but we definitely aren't looking for the same things, which would be the case with many women of that age here (or anywhere). If a guy is just looking for arm candy and nothing else, the he is probably going to end up having to flash dollars to keep her around as she probably doesn't have any other reason to hang on to him as they would probably have nothing else in common. That is just common sense.

I don't think anyone is arguing that you don't have a valid point, it just isn't the only point as you seem to be making it out to be. If you are making this argument into absolutes soley because you feel you are getting pounced on, then yes, in some situations, money is all there is to it, and there are those who either create this by leading with it, or fall into it by going after women that are way out of their league. This happens all over the world, and the only variable is how far the price has been driven up as to what the women will sell themselves for. In poorer countries, of course, that will be less as they expect less, and to be honest, their men aren't leading with their wallets, because they may not have anything but lint in them. Surely you don't believe that guys living in these countries who are living at home with Mom and may have NEVER had a job aren't getting any action because they are broke? They don't have to be all that great looking either.

Not every person or situation is the same, but you do make a valid point about guys with limited time and limited ability to speak the language. AGain, I believe that they bring it on themselves by rushing it if they get taken. They know their time and ability to communicate is limited, so they bring out the big guns prematurely. Of course if you flash money in front of a poor girl, she is going to see you as a meal ticket. I try my best to down play any assets just to more quickly weed out those who aren't really interested in ME. Of course a woman wants a guy who she can depend on, but you have to give women more credit as to what their radar is sweeping for besides your deep pockets.

Many times, women will throw out questions or start up conversations about money besides the obvious reason of being golddiggers for two reasons, one, they are curious to see if you take the bait or just making conversation. If you bite, then they know they have a sucker, and they will try to see how far you will let it go. A guy also has to give himself more credit. She may have been trying to impress the guy by letting him know she was desirable enough to someone else for them to spend on her like that. You never know. If you bend over completely, then at that point, whether they would have let you go or not, you have spread eagled, and why not take advantage of you? Two, they aren't interested in you at all anyway, and they might as well get something for their wasted time. If you recognize the game as it has just been layed out, then you would understand why going out like that may be viewed with some hostility by guys who think it put the panties on them. To say that there are guys whose women are with them only for money is not a fallacy, but those guys are getting played to someone who doesn't go out like that. If they accept it, and run with it, then bully for them. They are getting what they want out of the situation, but you can't say that's EVERY guy. Have some respect for guyhood, because if your friend's filipina mentioned to me that some guy bought her diamond earings, I would have probably asked her what else she took him for. Either she would have laughed about it, or got offended, but why should I care one way or the other? I am sure she wasn't the only pretty woman around...

To say that the only reason guys go south is to exploit better hunting grounds is not untrue, but the reasons vary and it is ridiculous to say that every guy is using the same bait. Surely we can agree on that. Also, not every guy is 50 trying to date and marry 20 year olds. I personally feel comfortable working in a 12 year age difference at most when I am concentrating on seriousness, but I don't have a problem going younger when I am just fooling around. A nice smile and witty repartee can be just as formidable in a well rounded arsenal as greenbacks. When it isn't, move on...unless you are in some competition, what are you getting out of shelling out anyway?

[Jeff S]

No one is upset about money. What are the points you are tying to make? It sounds to me like you're saying:

1. Guys look overseas so they can find younger, better looking women than they can here.

I didn't - nor did many guys on this board marry younger women than they could date here. Better looking, maybe.

2. Guys only go to third world countries where they have an economic advantage and date poor girls there.

I didn't - nor did many guys on this board.

3. Young, very good looking women are gold diggers who go for rich guys over poor, so they're unaccessible to regular guys.

OK, a few are. But why would you ever want to date one?

4. Young, good looking women who you can date and bed in their home country, suddenly turn pickier when getting to the US.

Based on what? A few choosy foreign girls you met here who turned you and your friend down? Did you know them in your home country? I don't agree with that statement. Do their standards of what is rich and poor change? Of course. Everyone from the third world who comes to the US does. For that matter anyone who moves from the Ozark mountain back country to Beverly Hills or Manhattan has a rude awakening too. People in general, though change very little when moving from one country to the next. There was a thread a while back on how Americanized has your wife become and the consensus was - very little.

So I disagree with nearly all of your premises, if that's what they are.

Here is my main point and premise:

It's not looks or money women are looking for, in general, it's the right man. And it turns out that the kind of guys women are generally attracted to, if they apply those skills to business, tend to be successful at those endeavors too - so self made well off guys tend to be good with women too. Though this is often a natural talent or trait - it can be learned - but not in a gym or department store.

[blockbuster]

Read my post "The economics of courtship".  makes perfect sense to me!

Sol,

 After reading your post I wondered about the fact you seem to see more single women under 25 here with kids than you do in Colombia. I say it's the opposite. I was always shocked at the amount of young mothers in foreign countries. In fact I would say it's much higher than the U.S.  



 Jeff, if you don't feel the girls change when they get here,then why did you go the hard route instead of meeting the literally thousands of Filippinas you could have nmet here? If you are as you describe, it should have been easy to meet countless of Filippinas on U.S. ground more than happy to have a relationship with you. Why did not not marry a Filippina already here?

[RJS]

Blockbuster, I thought I answered your question. Before I headed South, I started almost exclusively dating Latinas here. Before I started getting serious with my amiga in Cali, I started dating a Latina here who was 21 and at the time, I was 38. It's apples and oranges. The women here can afford to be sillier longer IMHO, and that silliness leads to bad choices, and bitterness in many cases. Expectations not only in what they want from you, but in their own lives tend to be skewed and jacked up. It is not impossible for a guy in his 30's, 40's or whatever to date sexy women here, but by 25, if they haven't gone to college (and some that have) usually have one or two kids. I don't want to buy into that neither here nor there. The 21 year old Latina had no kids, but she was pretty focused on having a good time, and being bisexual doubled her odds of doing just that. She was fun and we are still friends, but we definitely aren't looking for the same things, which would be the case with many women of that age here (or anywhere). If a guy is just looking for arm candy and nothing else, the he is probably going to end up having to flash dollars to keep her around as she probably doesn't have any other reason to hang on to him as they would probably have nothing else in common. That is just common sense.

Great post. I agree with this part 100%. I can date girls in their early 20s (I'm 27) - good looking ones too -  but frankly I have little interest in doing so for a number of reasons. The majority of the good-looking girls that aren't careerwomen just want to party all the time (and I don't want a careerwoman for obvious reasons). I'm a serious guy. I have little interest in partying. I wasted enough time in my early 20s and I'm trying to make-up for it. I like girls that are in to salsa because it's a completely different scene, but regular club girls turn me off in more ways than one.

Many of these girls, especially the good-looking ones, will continue with their behavior well in to their upper-twenties or early thirties. They'll in all likelyhood date good men during that time, but because they're so in to clubbing and partying, and their heads are so far up in the clouds, rarely does the good guy win. They always think they do better or they chose the more "exciting" guy, who is often a total loser, but hey, he's fun and possibly attractive. I'm not equating the good guy with being ugly, poor, or lacking in social skills either. I could use myself as an example. I think I'm a great catch. I have a better job than the majority of men and I'm pretty sure I'll be earning a six figure salary in the future, almost certainly within the next 5 years. I am above-average in the looks department and dress exceptionally well (my tailors are my biggest vice). Women think I'm charming and funny. You'd think that if I were searching for a serious relationship with a woman that I wouldn't have a problem finding one, right? I wish that were the case, and it's not for lack of trying or dates, but it hasn't happened. I'm very careful and selective with women based on the hell I've seen others go through by making the wrong choices.

In my opinion, these women tend to delude themselves that just because a good-looking rich guy will hook-up with them, that he'll marry them also, so they hold-out, and treat other guys like disposable assets or just use them for their week-to-week whims. A lot of western women have an inflated sense of self-worth that's built-up with the talk that goes-on between them. I get a quiet feeling of satisfaction when I see women in their 30s with an aura of bitterness and no ring on their finger. They likely got what they deserved.

The great irony is that many of these girls that are so picky aren't even close to being a well-rounded package themselves, and I'm not even talking about the 9s and 10s that are in such low supply that they do well on hotness alone. There are plenty of 7-8s in looks that have nothing else to offer. They work low-paying crappy jobs and often lack education or intellect, yet you'll hear them at clubs, coffee shops, and salons, ripping guys apart that often have a lot more to offer than they do. So my question becomes, what the hell are they smoking? They live in fantasyland.

I dated tons of women hoping that I would find one that would be worthy of a relationship and spent thousands of dollars in the process, but I think I've figured out that I'm just looking in the wrong place. American/western culture is so out of whack, especially with the younger generation. More and more, my thinking is becoming, "why should i even give them a chance?" Maybe I've just had bad luck, but God I can't wait till my trip. I practised spanish for 4 hours yesterday and pretty soon I'll start corresponding with women just for practice.

[blockbuster]

RJS,

 Calm down boy. You're too young to get married!!!!

  I see you and Sol have reason . But I do think with your age you have a huge advantage to find a good young woman here in the U.S. I have a friend who is from Trinidad and I have had a good oppurtunity to meet many of his family members. Great people. The whole family makes it a point to educate themselves and aim high. Anyway, over the years I have noted the men in their 20's and 30's in his family marry a lot of beautiful educated women who they meet in the U.S.  Her education seems as important as his.

   Most the brides are Trinidadian and latinas. I remember one of his cousins with a Dominican wife he met in college and one of the most  beautiful woman I have never seen. This happens in Miami. Perhaps you should consider going there even just on vacation. Again, you are at an agae where you have an advantage.  I think a young guy with a good future can have a lot of oppurtunity to meet many latinas going to college in the U.S. without kids.

 Take your time RJS.

[Jeff S]

I didn't marry a Filipina. My wife is Japanese. I dated Japanese women both here in the US and in Japan when I was spending a lot of time there on business. I met my wife when she was on vacation in the US. I made no conscious decision to only marry a Japanese from Japan, not one who was living here. It just worked out that the one, was one who lived there. I'd have had no qualms about marrying her if she lived here instead on Japan.

[Parlay Rey]

Great post. I agree with this part 100%. I can date girls in their early 20s (I'm 27) - good looking ones too -  but frankly I have little interest in doing so for a number of reasons. The majority of the good-looking girls that aren't careerwomen just want to party all the time (and I don't want a careerwoman for obvious reasons). I'm a serious guy. I have little interest in partying. I wasted enough time in my early 20s and I'm trying to make-up for it. I like girls that are in to salsa because it's a completely different scene, but regular club girls turn me off in more ways than one.

Many of these girls, especially the good-looking ones, will continue with their behavior well in to their upper-twenties or early thirties. They'll in all likelyhood date good men during that time, but because they're so in to clubbing and partying, and their heads are so far up in the clouds, rarely does the good guy win. They always think they do better or they chose the more "exciting" guy, who is often a total loser, but hey, he's fun and possibly attractive. I'm not equating the good guy with being ugly, poor, or lacking in social skills either. I could use myself as an example. I think I'm a great catch. I have a better job than the majority of men and I'm pretty sure I'll be earning a six figure salary in the future, almost certainly within the next 5 years. I am above-average in the looks department and dress exceptionally well (my tailors are my biggest vice). Women think I'm charming and funny. You'd think that if I were searching for a serious relationship with a woman that I wouldn't have a problem finding one, right? I wish that were the case, and it's not for lack of trying or dates, but it hasn't happened. I'm very careful and selective with women based on the hell I've seen others go through by making the wrong choices.

In my opinion, these women tend to delude themselves that just because a good-looking rich guy will hook-up with them, that he'll marry them also, so they hold-out, and treat other guys like disposable assets or just use them for their week-to-week whims. A lot of western women have an inflated sense of self-worth that's built-up with the talk that goes-on between them. I get a quiet feeling of satisfaction when I see women in their 30s with an aura of bitterness and no ring on their finger. They likely got what they deserved.

The great irony is that many of these girls that are so picky aren't even close to being a well-rounded package themselves, and I'm not even talking about the 9s and 10s that are in such low supply that they do well on hotness alone. There are plenty of 7-8s in looks that have nothing else to offer. They work low-paying crappy jobs and often lack education or intellect, yet you'll hear them at clubs, coffee shops, and salons, ripping guys apart that often have a lot more to offer than they do. So my question becomes, what the hell are they smoking? They live in fantasyland.

I dated tons of women hoping that I would find one that would be worthy of a relationship and spent thousands of dollars in the process, but I think I've figured out that I'm just looking in the wrong place. American/western culture is so out of whack, especially with the younger generation. More and more, my thinking is becoming, "why should i even give them a chance?" Maybe I've just had bad luck, but God I can't wait till my trip. I practised spanish for 4 hours yesterday and pretty soon I'll start corresponding with women just for practice.

As I 've said before, you're 90% ahead of most guys stuff I've read on this forum. You sound like you'll do just fine.

[soltero]

Sol,

 After reading your post I wondered about the fact you seem to see more single women under 25 here with kids than you do in Colombia. I say it's the opposite. I was always shocked at the amount of young mothers in foreign countries. In fact I would say it's much higher than the U.S.  

BB, my amiga is 27 and has no kids, and although I know there are women here that fit that category also, I haven't seen one in years and don't have the time to weed her out when I am here. I will admit that when I am in Colombia, my pace is much slower and I can smell more of the roses. There are many women with children in Colombia as well, but there are many who haven't had kids yet that I either can't or don't find here.

[RJS]

RJS,

 Calm down boy. You're too young to get married!!!!

  I see you and Sol have reason . But I do think with your age you have a huge advantage to find a good young woman here in the U.S. I have a friend who is from Trinidad and I have had a good oppurtunity to meet many of his family members. Great people. The whole family makes it a point to educate themselves and aim high. Anyway, over the years I have noted the men in their 20's and 30's in his family marry a lot of beautiful educated women who they meet in the U.S.  Her education seems as important as his.

   Most the brides are Trinidadian and latinas. I remember one of his cousins with a Dominican wife he met in college and one of the most  beautiful woman I have never seen. This happens in Miami. Perhaps you should consider going there even just on vacation. Again, you are at an agae where you have an advantage.  I think a young guy with a good future can have a lot of oppurtunity to meet many latinas going to college in the U.S. without kids.

 Take your time RJS.

On the subject of taking my time to get married, I think that's exactly what I've been doing. I've done a lot of dating but haven't even moved to the relationship stage because I like to cut my losses early if a girl isn't for me. I want to find the girl I can marry, not a girl I can last a year in a relationship with before I get tired of her. And the sooner the better. I think that marrying the right woman causes your enjoyment of life to improve substantially. It'll be even more beneficial to me because I'm not a natural extrovert. Acting like one requires an expenditure of energy that I don't have. Even though I know how to be extroverted for business, meeting women, etc., at my core, I'm still an introvert. I like my alone time. I like reading. I like doing things one-on-one. So to constantly be out searching, interacting with, and pretending to give a [snip] about tons of people is very tiresome. I only have so much energy to go around, and success at work is important to me. Being in a solid relationship will make everything easier because I could excise all the stuff that I don't need from my life. I'm pretty sure it would also be cheaper, and I'll be happier with the end-results.

Btw, I used to spout tons of bs about waiting till I was 40 and rich to get married to a 25 yo and stuff but i've changed my mind recently. That was the mindset of someone that didnt' get a lot of action in highschool but gets a lot more now. Dating and sleeping with lots of women just doesn't bring me the enjoyment it did at first. I don't want to spend the next 13 years basically just content (and borderline at that). Dating feels TEDIOUS now.