Regular Guys...Where you at?

[Frank Rizzo]

good points blockbuster, you're right on the money here,

For example, one of my business partners just turned 70, his wife just turned 30. She's full model material, real model not just the lip service type. She's russian. He travels all over the world with her to probably half a dozen homes he has. They are very happy, i've spent alot of time with them both, it appears that she's very dedicated, loyal and "down home" with him.

As you put it, the common denominator is that he is wealthy.

[blockbuster]

I know a guy who married a Playboy model. A real one. She was centerfold of the month about 5 years back. He met her at the Playboy mansion. She's late 20's,he is 60+. Let me tell you, that girl is not going anywhere. The lyfestyle he gives her is too comfortable. I don't doubt,once in awhile she plays around with guys her own age. But if she does, he'll never know.

 Anyway, this happens on U.S. ground everyday. The age difference is completely acceptable in the U.S. depens on your income. If you are a poor man girls will  accept it less. If you are a rich man it's ok.

 I remember about 15 years back when I was really young:) I had a beautiful neighbor girl who was my workout partner. Anyway, we would keep each other company on walks and such. She began working for a guy  (richer than Trump but less famous). She would tell me how much he would leer at her and how he grossed her out with his suggestive attitude. Now mind you the guy was near 80,all of 5'4". She was 22 and about 5'7". She said the thought of having sex with a guy that age made her want to throw up and she would never lower herself like some of the girls around. Well, I beleived her and thought she was actually a girl who did not have a price.

   She moved out, but was vague about where she was living. One day I am driving around and I see a girl in a Mercedes convertible in the car next to me. It's the same girl. She does not see me. I follow her to get her to pull over because it's been awhile. She pulls over and looks very uncomfortable. I ask her where she is now living. She is living in a really ritzy area. I get suspicious and dig a bit more. She finally admits she is living with the old guy. Not only that, I later find out through mutual friends,she wants to get married(because she will definately then get a huge payday,not for love), but the old goat has other mistresses and does'nt want to marry again as he's already been married 3x. I wonder what kind of Viagra this guy was using to keep up. It just goes to show, no matter what country you live in, money is power and many people will do anything in order to "Easily" get their hands on it! easy money is rarely turned down by females!

[Frank Rizzo]

Great info BB, and very interesting on how the mental switch can be flipped by the dinero.

[Jeff S]

You guys don't get it. It ain't the money, it's the personality of the guys who can earn it. The money is just a way of keeping score. If you worked on yourself more, you'd have no trouble attracting BOTH money AND good looking young women.

[blockbuster]

 I work on myself alot. In fact I've been a fanatic on fitness since I was 15. Dress well and make good money. It afford me a good life and hopefully early retirement. But the beautigul 9's and 10's   latinas 15+ years younger are not impressed with just that in the U.S. If they were, many guys here would stay in the U.S.A and get abundance of the latinas who are all over Miami,NYC,Florida and other states.

Any guy who tells me it's personality and if you work on yourself more it's easy to get good looking young women, but would rather travel to a poorer place where he meets girls he cannot fluently communicate with, sees her a few times a year when he can get vacation time,Deal with immigration, her adapting to the U.S. ect,  fooling himself.  Your advantage in a  poor foreign country is you look rich in comparison to the locals. Otherwise, if traveling is your thing, why not go to Iceland which is said to have the most beautiful women in the world, Sweeden, or other rich countries? Or why not find one here?Plenty of really hot  foreign girls here. Most guys with cash have tons of them chasing them. Or guys with youth and looks on their side. These guys do not travel and are the ones who wonder why we would even consider it as they get all the hot babes they can handle at home.

 This is reality.

[Frank Rizzo]

Jeff S, you obviously know nothing about me.

[fathertime]

You guys don't get it. It ain't the money, it's the personality of the guys who can earn it. The money is just a way of keeping score. If you worked on yourself more, you'd have no trouble attracting BOTH money AND good looking young women.

That is an interesting point you make, the more I think about it.  Good advice for anybody really but  if it were entirely accurate than lottery winners and people with large inheritances would not be able to score the young babe!  I tend to think that many women woundn't care about where or how the money came, just so long as they can fully utilize it. 


Fathertime!

[Jeff S]

My guess is that lottery winners have just as much trouble with women after they get their score as before. Now people who get big inheritances - usually inherit it from the people who brought them up, who more than likely taught them a lot about self confidence and what to do with money.

Some of you must have misunderstood me. When I said work on yourself I didn't mean pump iron or wear nice clothes. My point was:

it's the personality

Guys with a certain type of personality do very well with women and are often very successful in other parts of their life as well. This is not to say nerds can't become rich - look at Bill Gates. There are plenty of guys who are great with women who have average incomes. Conversely there are plenty of guys out there with very fat wallets that have just as much trouble attracting nice women as the guys with blue collar incomes.

This thread started to read like money is the ultimate aphrodisiac and nothing else matters. This is nonsense. It's your quality of your inner game more than the thickness of your wallet that attracts women. Regular Joes can learn to change their mindsets and become more successful in life and more attractive to women.

[Ray]

I agree Jeff...

[daytrader]

Jeff S sez - You guys don't get it. It ain't the money, it's the personality of the guys who can earn it. The money is just a way of keeping score. If you worked on yourself more, you'd have no trouble attracting BOTH money AND good looking young women.

I agree wholeheartedly.  Having a relaxed, positive, intelligent, friendly, fun personality gets you far even if the outside package isn't an A or a B.  If I was willing to bring kids into the World, I could have the pick of most anyone 26 or 28 yr old in Cali (IMO, a mature 28 yr old woman is at her peak mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically). 

The other thing is, 'quality not quantity'.  There are some great women out there in SA; I think some guys on this forum are into 'quantity' of women fawning over them...instead of finding "the one"  ....it only takes one latina to keep a guy young the rest of his life. 

Money helps but, as Jeff S sez, having a positive, upbeat personality ("attitude determines altitude") goes a long way on your path to success and happiness in life.

DayTrader

[fathertime]

I agree with Jeff & Blockbuster/Mecca since they are making different points.

Jeff says "Work on yourself".  How can anyone disagree with that? I agree that often times men with money have a personality which enabled them to earn this money and that wound be attractive to the ladies.  Many latinas will find these sort of men attractive.

Blockbuster/Mecca say: Some ladies are interested in the money regardless of the personality.  Again I agree that "Some" ladies do fall in into this category.  I mean for christs sake, Anna Nicole was with an 89 year old man, he probably had a great personality but clearly the money was the attraction.  Some latinas will fall into this category.


Fathertime!

[Jeff S]

I guess the question you have to ask yourself is: who would want an Anna Nichole Smith type women, except some 89 year old who couldn't think of anything else to do with his money? As D/T said - is your goal really to attract EVERY women or just those suitable to your personality, wants and needs, in order to pick a plum, anyway.

[fathertime]

I guess the question you have to ask yourself is: who would want an Anna Nichole Smith type women, except some 89 year old who couldn't think of anything else to do with his money? As D/T said - is your goal really to attract EVERY women or just those suitable to your personality, wants and needs, in order to pick a plum, anyway.

I think you have underestimated the number of men that would accept the early to mid-twenties Anna Nicole.  At least for a few months...

Fathertime!

[blockbuster]

 Of course a positive attitude helps you get far. Without it you are nowhere.  A great personality will help you with any sort of relationship also. Noone is doubting that.But to think we are not going to Colombia,Russia the Fillipines for the economic advantage we don't have is being blind.  Why not Spain, Greece,Italy,Iceland,Sweeden? Because most of the beautiful women in those countries are more difficult to get, even with a great personality and taking care of yourself ,unless you have a bit of an economic advantage. can you answer why we would choose to travel to Colombia,Filippines over Spain, Greece,Italy,Arentina?  There are also lots of latinas here in the U.S.. Not all of them are bitches or crazy like some would say.. The amount of immigrants here from Colombia,Venezuela,Argentina and other places are mind stagerring. But wea re still travelling to poorer countries with men warning to stay away from Costa Rica now because economy is good and girls are not very gringo motivated.

 Now, I personally am not advocatingfor a guy to be shallow and look only at age and beauty. I am saying however if you are the kind who is only looking for a woman much younger and very beautiful when he goes to a poor foreign country, you would be in denial to think it's mostly looks and personality. Otherwise, why is he not attracting that sort of latina stateside?  Because as soon as she gets here and she becomes financially stable or finds a guy with more money,she may trade up.

  As I noted the common denominator on the Russian board with men of that type pf relationship where there was a large age gap with real beauties, the ones who had a marrige of plus 5 years were the guys who were millionaires. Coincidence? I find that odd?

   Guys should get what is best for them. I beleive. But I think like my cousin, (who just returned from Colombia practically engaged to a very beautiful girl) they lose sight of reality. Beautiful young girls are easily available due to their economic situation and the lack of men willing to commit. The men  look at the outer structure , try to get the youngest girl they could possibly get and never really bother to see if she is sincere or know who she is. The package is too tempting and they've never had that quality of woman available stateside. The latinas of that caliber in the U.S. are not really available to them. That caliber of latinas wants more than just great personality when they live here.They want a modeling career, a Mercedes  and a rich husband to fall back on. Of course the beautiful young latina in Colombia  says all sorts of nice romantic things and professes love to her gringo who can barely beleive his luck.. But is she the kind living from day to day?  Is she independent and eraning her own money?Or the sort who really would stick with him through thick and thin if she had a chance to trade-up once here?
   

  Everything is a crap shot.  But so many guys use so little common sesnse when it comes to romance and FW.


 Now I do notice the tendency for a few men here to find women who are stable in a career and earn a good living. In other words the girls can do for themselves and are not in financial need. I think those guys are thinking with the big head. Some of the girls are taking the guys out and paying for dinners,hotels and such. The women are already understanding finance is a 2 way street. Good move.I'm sure those relationships will be lasting.

[Parlay Rey]

Of course a positive attitude helps you get far. Without it you are nowhere.  A great personality will help you with any sort of relationship also.

**agreed.

Noone is doubting that.But to think we are not going to Colombia,Russia the Fillipines for the economic advantage we don't have is being blind.  Why not Spain, Greece,Italy,Iceland,Sweeden?

**I respectfully disagree. What do those countries have in common? Entitlement Feminist societies. Materialist Feminism has driven a wedge between men and women and a lot of guys choose to have spouses that are companions, not competitors.

Because most of the beautiful women in those countries are more difficult to get, even with a great personality and taking care of yourself ,unless you have a bit of an economic advantage. can you answer why we would choose to travel to Colombia,Filippines over Spain, Greece,Italy,Arentina?

**see above

There are also lots of latinas here in the U.S.. Not all of them are bitches or crazy like some would say.. The amount of immigrants here from Colombia,Venezuela,Argentina and other places are mind stagerring. But wea re still travelling to poorer countries with men warning to stay away from Costa Rica now because economy is good and girls are not very gringo motivated.

**indeed, there are latinas here in the US and no, not all of them are bitches or crazy. but a disproportionate number of them are, and suffer from entitlement issues at that. Finding a good woman, a truly good family-oriented one here is like looking for a needle in a haystack.

Now, I personally am not advocatingfor a guy to be shallow and look only at age and beauty. I am saying however if you are the kind who is only looking for a woman much younger and very beautiful when he goes to a poor foreign country, you would be in denial to think it's mostly looks and personality.

**I understand what you're saying but I think you're neglecting basic Anthropology. Men are visual creatures and always look for fertile, nubile women able to pass along their DNA. Always have, always will. Women always look for men who are the best potential husbands/providers for their offspring--security.
Variations of that are just playing out in day to day life whether we choose Foreign born or domestic spouses, both men and women.

Otherwise, why is he not attracting that sort of latina stateside?  Because as soon as she gets here and she becomes financially stable or finds a guy with more money,she may trade up.

**good point. A guy who cannot attract and keep a Latina stateside will not have much success going south either. Why he goes south is a different story. AWs are just too spoiled. But the same problems he has here will surface there as well, ie doesn't speak Spanish, not familiar with the culture, etc.
Yes, his prospects will improve because of perceptions on both sides but the problems will remain. Going south helps a great deal in as much as there are more quality women but it is by no means a magic bullet.

As I noted the common denominator on the Russian board with men of that type pf relationship where there was a large age gap with real beauties, the ones who had a marrige of plus 5 years were the guys who were millionaires. Coincidence? I find that odd?

**can't comment.

Guys should get what is best for them. I beleive.

**absolutely.

But I think like my cousin, (who just returned from Colombia practically engaged to a very beautiful girl) they lose sight of reality. Beautiful young girls are easily available due to their economic situation and the lack of men willing to commit. The men  look at the outer structure , try to get the youngest girl they could possibly get and never really bother to see if she is sincere or know who she is. The package is too tempting and they've never had that quality of woman available stateside. The latinas of that caliber in the U.S. are not really available to them. That caliber of latinas wants more than just great personality when they live here.They want a modeling career, a Mercedes  and a rich husband to fall back on. Of course the beautiful young latina in Colombia  says all sorts of nice romantic things and professes love to her gringo who can barely beleive his luck.. But is she the kind living from day to day?  Is she independent and eraning her own money?Or the sort who really would stick with him through thick and thin if she had a chance to trade-up once here?
   
Everything is a crap shot.  But so many guys use so little common sesnse when it comes to romance and FW.

**agreed. Marriage is indeed a lottery. Men MUST do their due diligence before, during, and after the courtship. Take an inventory of your own skill set, (physically, mentally, financially, etc.) and present the best candidate possible to potential mates. Water seeks its own level. If you go south expecting some panacea without improving yourself to begin with you'll attract the same type of women you would stateside: no good, insincere  bottom of the barrel interesadas.

Now I do notice the tendency for a few men here to find women who are stable in a career and earn a good living. In other words the girls can do for themselves and are not in financial need. I think those guys are thinking with the big head. Some of the girls are taking the guys out and paying for dinners,hotels and such. The women are already understanding finance is a 2 way street. Good move.I'm sure those relationships will be lasting.

**kinda contradicts what you said earlier: "Guys should get what is best for them."

for example, i was married to an AW latina for 8 years. Both of us college grads, successful etc. but our marriage was always one of competition. There was no balance. For that sole purpose I knew I wanted a traditional wife that sought balance over so-called equality. Turns out she's a college grad, too.

I don't care if she doesn't work. That's my responsibility anyway but we talked about this in depth before we married. We agreed that she'd stay home and take care of our family. 99% of foreign born Latinas want their own families, anyway. Why swim against the current?

I dated many AW Latinas and could have married any one of them here if I wanted. That being the case it would have made no sense for me to go south and get another career driven/wealth oriented woman. I'd already learned my lesson that for me, it just doesn't work. Not emotionally, not financially. In essence, each man has to choose what type of woman is best for him. Perform lots of due diligence on himself, her, her family, etc. and stop the problems before they start.

Esos solo son mis dos centavos.

[soltero]

I dated many AW Latinas and could have married any one of them here if I wanted. That being the case it would have made no sense for me to go south and get another career driven/wealth oriented woman. I'd already learned my lesson that for me, it just doesn't work. Not emotionally, not financially. In essence, each man has to choose what type of woman is best for him. Perform lots of due diligence on himself, her, her family, etc. and stop the problems before they start.

Esos solo son mis dos centavos.

Why do guys always assume that the only reason to go south is because you can't get any anywhere else? All of those condescending, arrogant pessimists need to stay home and stop messing it up for those who actually prefer the women in SA and don't just consider them the last option for guys that can't hook up anywhere else in the known world. Excellent post, Parley Rey.

[Kiltboy1]

PR

I have to respectfully disagree with you that 99% of Latinas want to be at home with the Family. This in my experience just is not true. While yes, they are very family oriented, there are a new generation that has been able to take what is best about the traditional Latin family and blend it with having a career and sharing in responsabilities of the family and marriage. maybe not in places where it is economical depressed, but even in Barranquilla i met , dated and spoke to professional women who understood that a marriage is a partnership not just in who cooks or cleans, but to make the best life possible for the family, both work and contribute to the $$ to run the house and have retirement. Now, these are mostly educated women and the less educated will most certainly jump at the chance to be a stay at home mom , but there is a new generation all over Latin America that understands the value of money and how to make a partnership with there husband. Not just my wife either.I met many of her friends who are professionals and are married and share all the responsabilities with there husband. If anything, the men might be the ones intimidated by the fact the woman could if need be, live a productive life without him or his $$. To be in a marriage with a professional, you both need to check your egos in at the door before you come home at night . My marriage has so much less stress in it then when i was married to a lazy woman who expected the man to pay for the expenses. I am much more fullfilled and happy now with a women who wants to put money in a retirement fund with me to help us retire sooner, maybe open a B&B on the coast of Ecuador or something like that, in otherwords, a Latina with dreams and aspirations to make the best and most productive family and marriage she can. I am seeing more and more women like this thank God and all guys need to do is put that as a criteria and not settle for a body and not much else. Money is the biggest problem in marriages and i know many guys here on this forum and others that would never tell you they struggle to MAINTAIN there wives, but they do and i expect they wish in many ways they had married a better educated more motivated woman . Not that the traditional woman is bad either and for those that have the $$ to support that lifestyle, by all means, more power to ya and God Bless you. For me, i would be sooooo bored with a stay at home wife it would drive me nuts. But that is just me. My point is though that economics does not always drive gringos and Latinas to get together unless one has the $$ and the other does not. My wife , hell, i am the one that should be asking her for money, not the other way around.

KB

[Parlay Rey]

PR

I have to respectfully disagree with you that 99% of Latinas want to be at home with the Family.

I understand what you're saying, but that's not what I said.

I said: "99% of foreign born Latinas want their own families, anyway."

not that they all want to be traditional women. Of course not. I dated a Paisa living in Bogota who worked as an independent contractor for the government.

I just happened to learn that I preferred a traditional wife.

[Kiltboy1]

Sorry

Misinterpreted what you said.I could never be happy with a traditional wife so it is wonderful that there are Latinas of all types out there for us guys brave enough to take the risk to persue a foregin bride, but i am certainly happy that you found the kind of woman that you wanted.

KB

[blockbuster]

Why do guys always assume that the only reason to go south is because you can't get any anywhere else. All of those condescending, arrogant pessimists need to stay home and stop messing it up for those who actually prefer the women in SA and don't just consider them the last option for guys that can't hook up anywhere else in the known world. Excellent post, Parley Rey.

  Sol,

 Do you speak fluent Spanish? Did you when you first started looking? Aren't good  relationships built on communication?  How do you really get to know each other if you can't tell each other your hopes,dreams,situations that molded you into who you are today? Your fears,wants ect. Freely discuss your day.
Were you able to see this girl everyday  for months and see how she interacts with her family, friends, ect? Or just see them when you get vacation time? Yes a man may preffer a girl from SA, but there are plenty here. fact is, it;s easier to hook up with a hottie in SA.

    Now if you first went to SA because you loved the culture, was fluent in the language like some of my latino friends. then I can fully understand why you went there in the first place.

But a majority of guys going to "certain" foreign countries 1st time

 * can't speak the language or communicate with the girls,
 *need a translator,
 *need to use vacation time(1-2 weeks) to get to know her,
 *go through the whole K-1 process and wait
 *literally have to babysit her as she goes through her adjustment in the U.S.
 * Possibly have to send money to her family at any emergency
 * Sole provider till she can work
 *may have kids and family and friends who can't communicate with her.
 *keep your fingers crossed she can adapt to the U.S. and does'nt get too homesick,ect

and say they just do it cause they are full of choices here but would rather take the difficult route of going South because every latina here has issues is not being fully honest. You can get a hotter girl there than you can here and that's the truth!

 Perhaps back in his hayday a guy could get any girl he wanted. But years and added weight takes that away. That's when he travels and puts up with all of these issues so he could get a girl he dreamed of not available to him, Or the type of girl he was able to attract back in the days.

 Now Kiltboy, I really think you did well this time around. I think with your first marriage their were issues within yourself you were able to work on. As soon as you upped your caliber, it was easy to attract the caliber of woman you wanted.

[Parlay Rey]

Why do guys always assume that the only reason to go south is because you can't get any anywhere else. All of those condescending, arrogant pessimists need to stay home and stop messing it up for those who actually prefer the women in SA and don't just consider them the last option for guys that can't hook up anywhere else in the known world. Excellent post, Parley Rey.

Thanks, soltero. A lot of it has do with shaming language used by you-know-who. That we're all "losers" or "can't get laid", etc. simply because we choose to bypass them. That's just not true. Going south as you know is an expensive undertaking so by proxy, decent men have to have some modicum of success.

I think ODR stats says that most guys that date internationally have average incomes of $80k or more, educated, travel and speak a foreign language. Yes, we're losers indeed.   

Me personally, I wanted a Companion. I'd had enough of dealing with Competitors. Oh well, call me a loser. And cast me with the nutjobs. 

[Parlay Rey]

Sorry

Misinterpreted what you said.I could never be happy with a traditional wife so it is wonderful that there are Latinas of all types out there for us guys brave enough to take the risk to persue a foregin bride, but i am certainly happy that you found the kind of woman that you wanted.

KB

No blood, no foul. And thank you, the feeling is mutual. 

[rpcv]

Now I do notice the tendency for a few men here to find women who are stable in a career and earn a good living. In other words the girls can do for themselves and are not in financial need. I think those guys are thinking with the big head. Some of the girls are taking the guys out and paying for dinners,hotels and such. The women are already understanding finance is a 2 way street. Good move.I'm sure those relationships will be lasting.

What about women that are studying at a University for a degree? I think that should be considered equally with having a job. Also, the mentality or entitlement attitude another poster mentioned AW have are the biggest negatives for me. Traditional values (i.e. supportive and don't see men as disposable/accessories), have a greater importance to the Colombian ladies I've met whether they've been in school or working.  

[rpcv]

But a majority of guys going to "certain" foreign countries 1st time

 * can't speak the language or communicate with the girls,
 *need a translator,
 *need to use vacation time(1-2 weeks) to get to know her,

I'll admit this describes me on my first "3" trips to Colombia.  But I still went because I had to get my feet wet sometime. In retropect, I probably would have done better and saved more $$ trying to increase my Spanish vocab first but I'm adventurous so I figured why not give it a shot.

Now after a few trips I have a better sense of the culture, etc so hopefully the next steps (getting a Visa, etc) will be smoother.


 

 

[Parlay Rey]

What about women that are studying at a University for a degree? I think that should be considered equally with having a job. Also, the mentality or entitlement attitude another poster mentioned AW have are the biggest negatives for me. Traditional values (i.e. supportive and don't see men as disposable/accessories), have a greater importance to the Colombian ladies I've met whether they've been in school or working. 

**absolutely. i would not have married a woman without a college degree. i  have one, so that's just me. fortunately Mrs. Parlay is a college grad (CPA) so if she wants to start her own firm from home, that's perfectly fine.

got the best of both worlds.

but i did LOTS of up front due diligence to get it.