Bear Update

[Bear]

Been a while since I've had a chance to update everyone.  I can tell from some of the post that all the old guys have moved on and have little time for posting (I'm guessing if they are like me and I'm sure they are).  Its awesome to see so many building retirement homes in the R.P. - I'm so jealous!!!  I had always intended to do the same but my Honey has such horrible memories of that place I just can't make her go back; she even balks at a visit.  Seven years ago I was thinking - $1400/mo SS, retirement account plus $250.000 savings and I'd be a God over there.  Now I'm thinking my Honey is gonna work while I take the boat out on the bay a fall asleep fishing or spend my time being a Homeroom Dad at the school.  Either way I got a plan.

Honey still doesn't drive!!  Just peaks my temper she refuses continue drivers training.  She didn't listen on one of our driving training sessions and pulled up into the crosswalk for pedestrians (I'd just told her pedestrians had the right-of-way) and a runner ran into our van so hard it knocked him back 5-10 feet.  Shes so afraid of hurting someone she won't get into the drivers seat.  I guess telling her she'd probably have two or three accidents in her life didn't help.  Duh, I'm stupid-but honest!  Oh well!

Having kids in your 50's - now theres a topic.  They are so awesome, its so hard to not compare between my kids by my ex-AW and Honey.  My ex did her best to let her aunts be responsible for the raising of our children I truly don't remember their childhood.  But these two are 24 hr/day jobs each.  Ever seen a 15 mo old standing on top of a rocking recliner pulling the curtains down?  What did you scream about first?  Then again have you ever had 2 boys climb up in your lap and to sit and drink hot chocolate, eat pop corn and watch their favorite movie.  Odd I seem to remember a time in my life when I wondered what a hug felt like, now I think I could describe 50 different types.  Honey's getting that urge again so I hope the next one is a girl.

My ex wanted a king-size bed so she could have more room, Honey tells me our full size is too big - who needs a cover-Honey makes a good one?  My ex always said "massage me", Honey hardly lets me go to bed without massaging me.

There were days when I used to wonder what it would be like to eat breakfast at home, ya know, pancakes, waffles, french toast, cream-of-wheat, juice and coffee, etc. and spend a little time talking with the family before continuing the servitude to their life needs you volunteered for.  With Honey just try to leave this house without eating breakfast or skip your lunch at work and you'll learn about TAMPO.  Odd but totally opposite of the "ex".

Funny but my home looks little like I thought it would - it looks the way Honey wants it.  I always though carpets were great, Honey made me pull up the rugs and restore the hardwood floors.  My old kitchen is now a brand new modern kitchen.  No more blinds and all the curtains are being redone - again!  No the car won't fit in the garage - don't ask.

Partys.  With my 1st wife so many people hated her that the only parties we went to were Christmas/thanksgiving family or church events - and honestly there were far too few of those because even my family and church members hated her.   Now you don't plan anything because you'll be getting TAMPO again for missing a friend of a friend's newborn bd party-goossh!.  Love it though cause all us guys just sit in the back and brag about our lives/wives.  I've met Fil-Am couples from all over the world I've chatted with her another boards.  

Thats another topic.  The attitude Filipinas give each other and the chica!  Totally amazed at how rude they are to each other and the recipient barely responds when insulted, most act as if its expected?  I get so tired of hearing about who's pretty or not, or who's kids look like their mom (big insult) or who's  bragging and "stuck up".  And that honor thing that allows the insulters to be respected doesn't belong in American culture (but then neither does the tampo).

With the ex no matter what I did to improve myself it went astray.  Now I can hide from moving up.  My bosses like my work so much I just get a kick from seeing everyone else getting their asses chewed and then they watch my boss bring me coffee and ask if I need anything!  No one dares mess with me.  But it doesn't matter because we really are a close knit group and get along great extremely well - its a very good company!  Just volunteered for our annual "Munch before the Crunch" committee.  Summer is our biggest season so we have a party before and after the "crunch".  From the last day of May to the 1st week of August we have to finish hundreds of jobs, mostly at schools when the children are out for the summer.  Most of our guys make $10K/month in OT working 16-18 hr days 7 days/week for 2 months.  The biggest part of my work comes in the 2 months before June where I get the jobs engineered and materials ordered and onsite so the guys can get there end done.  I'm so far ahead right now I actually took Friday off with all the others whining about working late nights and weekends.  UTC/Carrier is so amazed that they are trying to duplicate our business plan all over the country and I'm expecting to be doing some travel/training soon.  If we can do this well in just the Houston market the potential for business nationwide is phenomenal.  We do 4x as much business as the next big 5 (Trane, Johnson, Siemens, etc) put together.

I actually took a vacation last year, first in my life other than going to the R.P. to get married.  3 Weeks of just having fun and traveling.  We spent a week of it on South Padre Island, on an some white sand beach and doing some deep sea fishing or traveling to the Mexican markets across the boarder.  Always traveling here or there to see or visit someone.  Made sure Honey got to see all the things about the "Nation of Texas" like the Alamo, San Jacinto battleground where Texas earned Independence, Washington-on- the-Brazos where Texas' first congress met, the Battleship USS Texas and The aircraft carrier USS Lexington and the USS SeaWolf submarine, the Goliad battlefield, etc.  And of course the unique markets of the the Strand in Galveston or the Riverwalk in San Antonio or Third Monday (largest flea market in the world).  Our sons have been to every "train museum/park" in the state and there are several plus they sea the airshow every year.  Nearly every weekend is a trip to the park, zoo, mall, museum, beach - sleep late on weekends? Why? - I got family!

I seem to remember a guy who called himself the definition of "murphy's law", Married with no family life and couldn't describe a hug.  Don't know him anymore.

Not much time for posting anymore but I do lurk at lunch time.

The Bear Family

[tessbrittain]

Hi guys,

Nice to know that married life is treating you very well...and to Marissa, i felt the same too about driving  before. But I made it.....I told Stephen I will never drive in the freeway, but now I like it better than driving on the back roads....

Keep up all the good work...and give my hugs to the little ones.

Tess

[jm21-2]

Every time I read your posts where you describe your ex I cringe, haha. Nice to hear the second time through is treating you so well.

[DanAndChed]

Bear,

I can relate to it all.  Especially having children at 50.  I'll qualify latter this year for the parent at 50 badge.  To me the quality of being a parent at 50 is better than it was with the first batch of children.  I can relate better, my patience is much improved and I feel more able to enjoy being a parent to a 3 and 4 year old.  When Ched went to the Philippines this time, she took the girl and I watched the boy.  15 years ago that would have scared me to death with the first batch. 

BTW, Ched helped me raise batch one and dispite my first divorce they turned out ok.  Next year my oldest son graduates High School.  We couldn't have gotten their without her.

Dan

[Bear]

My first "batch" is a nightmare to think about.  One stold $90k from her grandmother, the other converted to Islam and moved to Bahrain where he married a moslem.

BUt to watch the difference with the 2nd batch is aawesome.  The 4 y.o. tries so hard to "protect" his little brother, even from getting punished by Mom and Dad.  All of this of coursew while he is running a hundred mph through the house getting in trouble himself (hehehe).  Kinda tough going through it all again, not like "grandchildren" you can send home.  Still I am really quite proud of some of the things they do.  My oldest talks so "adult" which never ceases to amaze everyone.  Clearly 6th grade or better vocabulary.  He says Dora (the explorer and all girls for that matter) is pretty.  Asked him if he was trying to get married at the age of 4.  I told him he was supposed to be saying, "Girls - YUK!"  For years I've been teaching him to say "Mommy's pretty!" so he tells me I'm wrtong now - "All girls are pretty!

The Bear Family

[ReptilesBlade]

Bear, I want to thank you. I am new here having just discovered this site late last night by accident. I have been reading some of the archives and your posts have been of immeasurable value to me.

[Bear]

Well Thanks. 

My method is simple.  Ask lots of questions - listen to the answers, answer lots of questions - take note of ones not asked (that's where the problems will arise), hopefully get someone who knows you to recommend you, and pray.  But most importantly - look for someone not looking for you because that person will be sincere.  Can't fail.

And if you are expecting a problem free courtship/marriage/etc.  Stop.  You're not ready for marriage.  But things will be more rewarding IMHO.  They were for me.

The Bear Family