See if you can guess who are what "JLO" is talking about

[Malandro]

Hell, I've been on these sites for a number of years...I've had trolls impersonate me, post my business web-site, my real name & phone numbers, try to create rumors about my girlfriend, and post many libeous statements about me.

you deserved most of that though. 

[P Daddy]

you deserved most of that though. 

Damn, mention the word "troll" and look who pops out of the woodwork...

By the way, loved your post over on the "other" site regarding Daytrader...but what I loved more was Calipro's response.  DD, you need to work on yourself before you go cracking on others...now get back under that bridge!!!

[Dan]

Knock it off.

I do not care what happened in the past, nor what was written elsewhere.

Keep yourselves under control.

- Dan

[daytrader]

P Daddy -

just concentrate on your lady and prepare yourself for some changes in your life..

I think the 18 days I spent down there is a good period to look back on and judge the "changes" that portend in my life if I continue this path.

To use an autoshop analogy, imagine I am bringing in my car to Goodyear and think I need to make "changes" to my front end because of road vibration (after evaluating the 1st & 2nd trips to Cali);  The options are:  Front end alignment $85, new shocks/struts $200, add air to the tires, $5, new tire $100,  some or all of the above may be necessary.     

I think I got out of the Goodyear for $5.  The stuff I foresee me going thru as these relationship(s) fully entangle my life  (there are 3 + living in Colombia) in the coming months and years is stuff I know I need to face and want to have adjusted  in my lifestyle, character, personality, etc.  The 2nd trip I got a certificate of completion, there's much more to experience but just keep continuing down the same path and be humble on a daily basis and the 3 of us all might graduate with honors!  Attitude determines Altitude to a great degree in these circumstances I believe. 
 
On the second trip there were a few opportunities for things to escalate, fly loose,  rivets pop, tempers flare, dishes get thrown, (not really, but the symbolic images are fun to conjure up) etc.  In each instance, there was a 'optimum' path that could be chosen by the respective participants.  After reality intruded,  in all cases, respectable attempts were made by all concerned to choose close to the 'optimum' path.   If God were not in the picture, this would be a scary proposition, but He is holding us in His Hands many times, it seems.  All Glory, Praise & Honor to Him  (this will spur more Holy Roller posts on the "other" website, no doubt). 

Without God, I would not be nearly so relaxed about this whole endeavor. 

DayTrader 

[blockbuster]

 I have to say DT is more realistic than 80% of gringos going down to Colombia. He is not looking for a young hottie who most likely would have no interest in him,but rather what he could do for her as many gringos blindly do.

 But he was searching for a spiritual women,older,children and probably a hell of a lot more mature than the "kids" most gringos love to rum around with in Colombia. She also seems very eager to learn to spaek English and he Spanish. Perhaps he will be one of the lucky ones.

   If the tittle of old gringo "chasing very young girls who would'nt touch you with a 10 foot pole if she had a U.S. passport " does not apply to you, please refrain from arguing this point.

[william3rd]

Very good assessment, Blockbuster. Your description is the most accurate of any here. As far as setting and reaching a goal, the guy found exactly what he was seeking and she has what she was seeking as well, I am sure.

[Malandro]

thanks PD,

I really liked this from you too, "If you are in good shape, not bald, nice face, can speak spanish, have a great personality, nice smile, etc...being 40 something and having a 20 something "hottie" is VERY doeable"

Unnecessary insults and cross-board

[P Daddy]

thanks PD,

I really liked this from you too, "If you are in good shape, not bald, nice face, can speak spanish, have a great personality, nice smile, etc...being 40 something and having a 20 something "hottie" is VERY doeable"

Unnecessary insults and cross-board

What's wrong with describing "yours truly"??   Is THAT what has been eating at you for the last few years?? 

If you like, I'd be more than happy to read your self-description...or you can PM it to me...

[Dan]

What's wrong with describing "yours truly"??   Is THAT what has been eating at you for the last few years?? 

If you like, I'd be more than happy to read your self-description...or you can PM it to me...

Just let it go.

- Dan

[Malandro]

OK,

but I really did like what he said.

"If you are in good shape, not bald, nice face, can speak spanish, have a great personality, nice smile, etc...being 40 something and having a 20 something "hottie" is VERY doeable"

I just wanted to know if he looked at the pictures before he posted that. 

[P Daddy]

Hey Malandro,

I was referring to 40 something men looking for 20 something hotties...Daytrader was and is NOT looking for a 20 something hottie, nor is he a 40 something man,  so it is IMPOSSIBLE that I was talking about him, nor inferring ANYTHING about his looks...actually I think he is an attractive guy (for being 50 something )...

[william3rd]

You have interesting taste in men. Weellll- he is definitely not MY type. . . . . . . . .

[daytrader]

My wife "JLO" also reads the posts and wants to know what the gringos are talking about. She really likes it when she can see pictures of the couples etc. Gringo con una latina Smiley

After reading about one persons situation she made the remark "he doesnt know what he is getting into"

Wonder what "she" thinks now, in light my additional info & of  blockbuster's recent comment.  I've been waiting a few days to see if JimmySTLOUIS is going to take a shot...

DayTrader

[markanthony7]

Brother Day Trader scenario (a relationship with a women with children) continued

Are children a liability or asset? in ancient culture and civilization past, children were looked upon with favoritism, blessing and a reward from God, the good book says "Children are a gift of God the fruit of the womb are his reward, they are like spears in the hand of a warrior and blessed is the mans quilt that is full of them" " , "Jesus also said suffer not the little children to come unto me" however in a more modern and contemporary society and culture they are looked upon more commonly as an emotional and financial liability, Personally as an agency owner I have seen and experienced several situations where a man has met a woman with a child (sometimes even unintentionally) and feel a great sense of intimacy and compatible with the young lady but have apprehensions about an extensive or permanent relationship because she has a child, this can be confusing and subject a persons mind to a paradox or dilemma. For further discussion on this subject regarding brother Day Traders relationship and situation with his #3 Cali diamonds (note plural) are there advantages and disadvantages to a relationship with a woman that has a child?, or do we need to change our selfish perspectives or abstain from initiating a relationship that involves children?

[william3rd]

The answer is- it depends!!!!

While single men without children may be reluctant to court a woman with children, men with children should not be so restrained. If you are expecting a woman to accept your children as her own, then you should be equally willing to accept her children.

Another circumstance is the man who doesnt plan on having another child or having a child at all. Most childless women have the basic human urge to reproduce. Rest assurred that there will be a child in her future. Maybe not with the man that brings her; but a child will be forthcoming, nonetheless.

When I was hunting, I always looked for women with children(usually 1 child) because I had children and didnt plan for any more.

The selection of one child was a nod both to the economics involved and what I felt my ability to accept as my own was.

[soltero]

....are there advantages and disadvantages to a relationship with a woman that has a child?, or do we need to change our selfish perspectives or abstain from initiating a relationship that involves children?

markanthony7, I don't consider it selfish to wait until I marry to have children, nor do I consider it my responsibility whatsoever to raise someone else's until I have had my own. I want to marry a woman who had the good sense to wait like I have. Being a parent is a responsibility that should be taken very seriously. Also, that first experience is something that needs to be shared in my opinion. Those guys that have had that already may not need to have it again, but when I have my first child, it will be with someone who is having their first child also. Sharing that first is too important a life experience to me to just give that up and marry someone who has already crossed that milestone with someone else.

[el_ruso]

I have expounded on this topic before, but the main advantage is that the woman is experienced with having a child.  I am not, so it's good that at least one of us will be.  And the kid could potentially help with raising the new kids too, since the girl's rest of family is typically in Colombia.  When you have a woman with a child you don't have to guess a lot of things:
- how good a mother is she
- how she raises her children
- how will she look after pregnancy
- will she change after having children
- is she responsible and capable of discipline
Obviously, a mother with a child could be a diamond or the opposite or anything in between, but you will know without investing time, $$$, and emotions for a long time to find it out.  And I want more than one kid anyway, so one more, one less, is not a big deal if the kid accepts me, and I can accept the kid.

[markanthony7]

Raising a child someone else biologically fathered-
Another significant part of this subject is the mere fact that you will be obligated to raise a child someone else biologically fathered, some men look upon this with disdain and loathe at the very idea of providing for and raising a child they did not biologically father, their negative perception is that if they or a person elects to undertake the responsibility, then they are an idiot, a sucker or a damn fool for permitting someone of take advantage of them in this particular way and obligating yourself for the perpetual maintenance and support of a child another man procreated. I remember once asking my ex-wife if it was a good idea for us to become foster parents, she replied and said " hell no let Foster take care of his own kids!". Shaquill O'Neal credits the discipline of his military background step father for getting his troubled youth turned around and making him the quality man and loving father he is today. More recently, I have a friend that had aparting of ways with a young lady he was committed to in a relationship but reconciled with the women because he developed a deep affection, emotional bond and love for her two children! " The good book says that God is a father to the fatherless", He has a sensitive heart and compassion for neglected children, should we adapt a negative perspective about committal to a child that is not of our heritage and view this as an act of foolishness, another mouth to feed? or accept it as a challenge and opportunity to take an interest in a neglected youths life?, are they a loss or a gain?, a liability or an asset?
__________________

[markanthony7]

Soltero I agree with you, I was not aware that you did not have children, thats a diffrent scenario, I am like William the 3rd , I have a daughter and I am not looking to have more I am to old, one foot in the grave, so a woman with one child would be a good fit for me, every ones situation is diffrent, Soltero call me it is important, I called you and left messages

[rpcv]

markanthony7, I don't consider it selfish to wait until I marry to have children, nor do I consider it my responsibility whatsoever to raise someone else's until I have had my own. I want to marry a woman who had the good sense to wait like I have. 

I'm in the same situation Soltero. I've met several women whom had kids but my preference is definitely for a woman who has yet to have a child. I also looked at it from the standpoint that my Spanish is not fluent so it would be an additional burden in terms of communication.

[el_ruso]

I don't have kids yet and I am 30 at this point, but I would not mind a woman with a child, as long as of course I like her parenting skills, I like the kid, and she is willing to have "biological" children with me.

Regarding loathing, if a man loves a woman, he will accept her and her "baggage" and vice versa.  In a way the deadbeat father does take advantage of the stepfather, but if the stepfather has kids of his own too, than the biological "advantage" of the deadbeat is negated.  And there are pluses to a woman with a kid, too.  And if you met one you really liked, and she had one, well, what can you do?  My girl has a kid, and I got used to the idea, and I like the kid a lot, and if everything turns out well, I hope I will have more children with her.

[daytrader]

Good thinkin' el_ruso, I wish you well in your future endeavours 

DayTrader

[markanthony7]

We all talked extensively about how children can be problematic and burdensome in various ways, El_Ruso you (inadvertently) used the metaphor to describe a woman with children as "her as baggage" but should we consider the possibility that a relationship with the child itself can actually be even more advantageous and gratifying? complete a marital relationship and make it more wholistic? actually you are gaining another person or human soul to love and love can be reciprocated, its like you are getting two people to love for the price of one

[papi]

DT, i see that Ruso and you are on the same page. What I am trying to figure out is why he signed one of the above posts in this thread DT ?

[el_ruso]

I found that myself.  I think I was going to write another paragraph beginning with DT, but didn't, and didn't notice that I typed that.

Thanks for catching it.  I didn't mean to impersonate anyone