See if you can guess who are what "JLO" is talking about

[JimmySTLOUIS]

I read this forum everyday as well as the "other" forum

My wife "JLO" also reads the posts and wants to know what the gringos are talking about. She really likes it when she can see pictures of the couples etc. Gringo con una latina

After reading about one persons situation she made the remark "he doesnt know what he is getting into"


anyone want to take a guess who are what see is talking about? 


TE AMO PERU!!

jim

[william3rd]

I think I know who you mean but, as a rule, I dont usually involve myself in matters that might result in extreme controversy. . . . . .

There is really only ONE person I can think of. . . . . .

[Chris F]

I think I know as well and I sure hope everyone here stays "on topic" or Jimmy...who started the topic...may get REALLY UPSET!!!!....

By the way Jimmy....I want to let you know that I am an expert on everything to do with every country in Latin America....even places I have not visited!!!

I also hope that no one disagrees with you. You may get really upset by this as well.

This message posted by Chris F. A poster who you may have noticed...has FIVE STARS!!!!

I hope you are not jealous in anyway from this Jimmy!!!

[sean126]

Wow, you guys are cold blooded to dedicate a thread to try and make someone look bad and to try to hurt their feelings on purpose.  How old are we again?

[Chris F]

Sean,

I respect your opinion...(and promise not to get upset by it!)

I just want to let you know that I am far from a  cold blooded person..and neither is Jimmy.

We are only commenting jokingly over the recent comments made on this board lately...

I dont hate anyone...wish everyone here success...BUT....different opinions will be given here...some here may come across as "experts"....and may get "very defensive" about what others post...but it is their opinion  so be it!!.....However others should be allowed to comment about that.......seriously...as others already have...or jokingly...like now..

It is a public forum of opinions....."no flame war" was intended..

[sean126]

I understand all that and some people irritated the daylights out of me too sometimes...other times I think they are only 2 I.Q. points shy of being retarded at times.

But damn....just like you are jumping on this thread and at the chance to poke fun at someone's faults (which I understand it's meant as a joke), I really don't think he realizes what he's doing and how he's coming across....in other words, I don't think he MEANS to do it on purpose, that's just the way he is.  This, however, is done purposely and just like him, I don't think you guys realize just how bad you can make someone feel.  Why would you want to try to make someone look bad when you guys are doing the same thing to him....in a roundabout way and intentional I might add.

I didn't mean to spoil the fun for you guys, but since you didn't seem to mind pointing out someone else's faults...I didn't think you would mind me pointing out how cruel, juvenile and mean spirited this is...even though it's meant as a joke, one that I wouldn't think he would consider funny. 

But your absolutely right.  This is a public forum and people are subject to ridicule when ever they post, so have at it guys....why not just name the poor fellow's name and get a REAL laugh out of all of us?

[Chris F]

(which I understand it's meant as a joke)

Thats all its meant to be Sean. I dont hate him and wish him success with the love of his life. But I am going to comment if something does not quite smell right no matter who post it. Others are allowed their opinion and I am allowed mine.


Understand something Sean...all these forums at their core are just VIRTUAL BARS....where guys check in and check out for entertainment, sharing opinions, and information.....nothing more....nothing less....

Its nothing to get this upset about Sean...honestly...

Now....can I buy you a drink???

[william3rd]

Naawww- let him remain forever nameless. . . . plausible deniability.

[sean126]

I'm not upset, just a little disgusted I guess. 

LOL...yeah Chris, make mine a double.

[Parlay Rey]

Not to stir the pot, but why did your wife make that comment? That is, as a Latina what did she mean that others might benefit from not making the same mistake? To hell with taking the high road, not naming names, etc. We're not playing tiddlywinks.

[Fuzzyone]

Not to stir the pot, but why did your wife make that comment? That is, as a Latina what did she mean that others might benefit from not making the same mistake? To hell with taking the high road, not naming names, etc. We're not playing tiddlywinks.

   Rey

       My wife is from Barranquilla and she will read sometimes this forum just to see what guys are falling for. I learned alot from my wife and her family about what real life was like. Not the fairy tale some guys think it is in Colombia. Sorry I got off track but she does get a laugh at a couple of guys here because as she stated they really don't know what they are doing!

[blockbuster]

 I love that the wives are piping in and giving this forum a dose realism.

 If course there will be guys who won't listen because this advice comes from latina women who they think know nothing. Meanwhile these superstuds know everything about latinas,till they get scammed and 90% won't admit it.

   Know this, gringo dollars are very attractive to some latinas. They will love you long time even if you are fat,old,unattractive,boring personality,can't speak their Spanish,or whatever. They are blind to all shortcomings because they are so in -love. Gringos WAKE UP!!!! A lot of you are being played by women in desperate situations looking for a green card ,provider,or just looking for fake boobs. Or a boyfriend who seems rich to flaunt to their friends and the gringo is too stupid to see it.

   If you are complaining you can't get laid in the U.S. by a semi-hot chick, ask yourselves why? The excuses about only fat or unattractive women in the U.S. is getting old. Come on, you aren't getting laid here because you're not attractive to women. Do something about it. Join a gym,fix yourself up,stop whinning!! If that's what likes you,you'd better take a good hard look in the mirror.! There are lots of girls preying on older men who are unattractive as they are the easiest ones to play. Less competition,more desperate.

[el_ruso]

A lot of people make a claim of knowing what life in Colombia "is really like", but hardly anyone knows the people who are being discussed.  I think it is nice for guys to share their happiness and to share their photos.  Furthermore, I think everyone should wish them the best, and saying that "nah, it won't work out" or "they don't know what they are getting into" is NOT called for.  A lot of people can say exactly this about ANY relationship of an American and a foreign wife, in fact a lot of people would say that even about relationships between an American and a Latina who lives here.  Unless you personally know these people, you should not belittle their relationship or suggest that it will break up.  If you have legitimate concerns, there are ways to communicate them in private.

This does not preclude discussing the relationships in general, or even particulars of certain relationships as long as the guy brings this up himself, share experiences or ideas.  But when a person judges publicly (and negatively) viability of a relationship between people he (or she) does not know just by looking at a photo, it is IMO demonstration of lack of class.

[JimmySTLOUIS]

Well I have always tried to remain positive and never really wanted to rain on anyones parade (i guess until now)

I have thought it a thousand times and when my wife made the comment on her own I thought that I might as well throw it out there

I have re-written this post and deleted most of what i have written but here it goes anyway -

Its not so much about the fact that someone is getting into WAYYYY MORE than they could have dreamed but its the fact that they have to go on and on and be soooo sure that this stone is in fact a diamond.

She could be everything that he thinks she is but the bottom line is he is going to marry three people and two are teenagers (or in that range)
and
none of them speak english


Before you jump on me for raining on the guys parade. I do think the guy in real life might be a great guy but if you think sucess as a "daytrader" prepares your living with 3 latinas then ...oh boy... wake up day is coming. There is NOTHING in a normal America guys life to prepare him for what he has coming his way.

Remember I married a teenage latina (only one and she spoke english) and I know what day to day life is like

For me it couldnt be better but would I want 3 latins who dont speak english? NO WAY!

Now it was my wife who made the comment and her reason is as follows:

Keeping three people all happy at the same time who (after the newness wears off) away from friends,  family, food, music, culture and well pretty much everything - is going to be impossible.

Sure they will happy for a bit with all the new surroundings but after a while (or at anytime things dont go there way) at any moment they feel the least bit unhappy - they will drive the guy crazy

I can tell you from experience that how this unhappiness manifests itself is by "I want this and I want that."
If any one of the three are feeling sad, let down, or alone in any moment this feeling of emptyness or un-happiness will be shown not by having a nice sit down chat but by crazy demands such as I want a new _________ (fill in the blank)
Now remember this will be times three (3X)

ALSO - spanish will be the official language of the house and you will have a one of four vote (if any vote at all) in all future family matters, sorry

Speaking from experience if ONE latina in the house and having spent tons of time in an all spanish speaking house (in Peru)

To all gringos who are just getting started - always remeber this: When you are down there you have the power, when she is here SHE has the power. Never underestimate a women and what she will do to get a better life ofr her or her family. Just words to the wise

I am sorry if I hurt any feelings - In some way I hope this helps and I dont mean it as an attempt to bash

now I have to go and make dinner    luv ya!


TE AMO PERU!!!

jim

[sean126]

Jim,
I know I'm nobody and my opinion and what I think doesn't amount to a hill of beans, but since I was one who was quick to criticize let me also be just as quick to appallud your clarification and show of class.  You raise some very good and valid points to discuss.

[el_ruso]

DT is prone to making generalized claims and being quick to judge people, so he has raffled a few feathers. But the judgemental rant above beats everything DT could ever think of.

First of all, when he wrote about his relationship he seemed to be a very caring and thoughtful person. He clearly has given a thought to the whole process.

Secondly, this woman has kids and they speak Spanish. So that disqualifies her? There are people who view marriage as a strictly business arrangement. They assume that marriage can be held together by something other than love and affection, and he further assumes that the "diamond", her children and DT lack them towards each other. And DT is making a sincere effort to learn the language, unlike *SOME* who post here. And I believe he mentioned that the "diamond" was learning English as well.

Thirdly, DT lives in Miami as far as I know. I don't know if it is Miami proper or not, but in most cases their transition will be very easy, they will meet Colombians in virtually any public school and they can eat bandeja paisa in a different place every day. Cali is less than four hours away. Further, DT has indicated that he wants to move to Colombia, either FT or PT.

Fourth, he just makes a broad assumption on how demanding the "diamond" and her kids will be. Why does he think they will be unnaturally demanding?

And sixth, why does he assume that DT has no willpower to maintain his household?

This is BS. Maybe he raffled the poster's feathers in some fashion? I don't know. But the post is in fact laced with envy (either his or his wife's). I could be wrong, that's only the impression.

[Chris F]

I will have to say this much about Daytrader. He is MAKING THE BEST DECISION by choosing to live in Cali rather then have a new wife and two teenagers who dont speak English move to the USA.

This will make his situation much easier in many apsects.

I do know that Cali can get a little boring after a while if your only with one person if you have been spoiled by your life style in the USA..

And yes Sean......you can have a "double"....but you need to buy the next round!...lol

[JimmySTLOUIS]

For the record DT has never ruffled my feathers and I dont have one thing against the guy

I know some of you guys are so smart and gee whiz you seem to be able to "read between the lines" and all that

As a matter of fact some people here are experts in an area that that have zero experience! But you sure have a lot of "class" right? I dont have a shred of class but I live in the real world - OK

so post away at what you think I am getting at etc. I am speaking from experience not just the monday morning latina expert like some.

OH YEA - and I must of been smoking the happy smoke to even think that teenagers and latina women could be "unnaturally demanding" LOL

If you dont like what I say, then keep checking your bank balance, posting on dungeons and dragons websites, and other past times that make you feel like you know something. First off, second off, thirdly and so forth

How many guys who have ever been married to a latina would suggest to a real coworker or friend to bring a latin spanish speaking women and her two kids to this country? Lets take a poll

that the point I am trying to make

and on a side note - I made hot wings with chips and salsa for dinner but I did not do this dishes


TE AMO PERU!!!!

jim

[el_ruso]

First, you make assumptions that things that *might* happen *will* happen.  A lot of good might happen too.  Why are your assumptions negative?

Secondly, I am not sure why I should be checking my bank balance.  Seriously.  I am not sure what you are implying.  Also I don't know anyting about "dungeons and dragons".  You may however share your knowledge if it itches you to do that.

Thirdly, I was not sure I am allowed to post only if I *like* what you have written.  You did not disclose it before.  I apologize for my impertinence.

Fourth, whether a woman has a kid or not can not be the single qualifying reason to pursue a relationship with her or not.  Raising stepkids is a great deal of work, but if DT is willing to do it, he should be only commended for that.  Is there anyting specific that DT wrote about his potential stepkids, or you are making a broad generalization based on prejudging people you personally know nothing about?  If you doubt your parenting skills, or being to accept children of a woman you love, you should not assume that others will have the same doubts. And if you "advise" a co-worker or friend not to pursue a relationship with a woman solely based on her having children, you might be doing a great disservice and rob them of a happy and fulfulling relationship.

Fifth, why are you singling out the "latin spanish speaking women" with kids as unsuitable marriage partners?  If DT met say a Brazilian or Italian woman with kids, it would be OK?

Sixth, I reserve a right to number my arguments.  I like to keep my arguments clear and organized.

[BogotaJim]

Hi Jimmy!     I don't think that you are "raining on anyones parade ".  I think your intentions are good but you are shortsighted as is your wife because  you are underestimating the American man involved.    He is probably unlike anyone you wife has met when living in Colombia because he is old, wise, and tough.  He has been successful here in the most competitive market in the world.  He has successfully repelled challenges daily here and he knows what he wants.  He is mature and will fight for what he cherishes.  He is positive and in love and appreciates his novia and the culture from whence she comes.  He recognizes the difficulties that lie ahead and is up for the challenge. 

"Keeping three people all happy at the same time who (after the newness wears off) away from friends,  family, food, music, culture and well pretty much everything - is going to be impossible."              This is where you are soooo wrong and shortsighted. This is where a GOOD man steps forward and provides the necesary leadership.  Remember hopefully the  mother and children are not spoiled Americans but well adjusted Colombians who are happy and positive and looking for strong leadership and delighted that a noble man has stepped forward to provide this leadership.  They will make every day of his remaioning days so much more meaningful. 

I for one congratulate this corageous man and his new family and feel certain that they will have a great life together with rewards that others can just dream about.

By the way in 1990 I married a Colombian lady with 2 children ages 12 and 13.  The children were delightful and the light of my life.  I now live in Colombia and my step son, wife, and 2 children are hopefully moving here soon from Boston where they are giving up a combined income of $100,000 to allow my 2 grandchildren an opportunity to be schooled here where I consider the schools to be better and more wholesum enviroment for them to grow up.  As I am writing my stepson Manuel is re-teaching his 2 children Spanish so the adjustment will be easier.   

Not meaning to be critical but taking the positive view I am respectfully yours,  Jim H.

[blockbuster]

Jim,,

 If you don't mind me asking,hat is your stepson and his wife going to do for income? Does he plan to start a business?

[P Daddy]

Jim, I have a question also...according to your web-site, didn't you and the lady you married in 1990 end up divorcing??  If so, I'd be careful on painting such a rosey future for Daytrader, based on your example.

[BogotaJim]

I have started a new company "Medical-Tourism-Colombia " to allow Americans to travel to Colombia and receive medical cARE AT BUDGET PRICES.  iF THIS NEW COMPANY WORKS ACCORDING TO PLANS MY STEPSON AND WIFE WILL BE WORKING WITH ME TO BUILD THIS COMPANY UP.  By my estimates they can live in Colombia on about 1/3 of the income that it takes to live in Boston.  This will be a family business and hopefully my grandchildren will someday enjoy the benefits. 

P. Daddy you are correct that I was divorced in  2002.  I had 10 yeARS OF A GOOD MARRIAGE, I RAISED 2 GREAT KIDS WHOM i AM VERY PROUD OF and I have 2 grandchildren who are adorable. My ex-wife and I are good friends and she still looks great and together we enjoy the children and grandchildren.   Now like so many others on this list you are taking the negative side of the issue.  Would I have been better off to emulate so many guys on this board who are afraid to take a chance and go from one broken relationship to another with nothing to show for it ?  It takes courage to do what DT is proposing to do and if he does his due diligence I am certain that he will be delighted with his new life. 

I am urging DT on even tho I am divorced because the experience was worthwhile.  Everyone benefitted from my marriage particularly the children.  The benefits are lifelong.  Think positive - Jim

[markanthony7]

1. Maternal discrimination- When ever I receive inquiries in, general most guys usually request the young ladies without children even thought they themselves have procreated, this is a double standard and a discriminatory animus, we don't want a woman with children but we have contributed our part in the growing population

2. Emotional maturity- When a woman brings a child in this world and is faced with the responsibility of rearing that child, it is inevitable that she will endure a maturation process mentally propounded on her experiences with motherhood, the birthing and everyday responsibility of a child, will cause a woman to grow emotionally, psychologically and develope her character, these character and personality attributes can be regarded as significant when it comes to compatibility and chemistry in a relationship with two people, which can ultimately be the determining factor in the success, longevity or failure of a relationship or marriage. The good book says " How can to walk together accept they agree". All to many times we get carried away with the potential of having a young beautiful Latina woman to the point that it blinds us and we completely ignore character and compatibility issues that are associated with diverse maturity levels, I am not necessarily saying that the younger women in Cartagena have character flaws or are grossly immature, I found them to be more mature and relationship oriented than the average (AW) but for the sake of argument a woman with a child might be even more appropriate and suitable for a relationship with longevity and compatibility, just a better fit.

 P.S. I have more to elaborate on this subject but I would like to start with the first 2 issues regarding "discrimination" and "maturity"

[P Daddy]

I have started a new company "Medical-Tourism-Colombia " to allow Americans to travel to Colombia and receive medical cARE AT BUDGET PRICES.  iF THIS NEW COMPANY WORKS ACCORDING TO PLANS MY STEPSON AND WIFE WILL BE WORKING WITH ME TO BUILD THIS COMPANY UP.  By my estimates they can live in Colombia on about 1/3 of the income that it takes to live in Boston.  This will be a family business and hopefully my grandchildren will someday enjoy the benefits. 

P. Daddy you are correct that I was divorced in  2002.  I had 10 yeARS OF A GOOD MARRIAGE, I RAISED 2 GREAT KIDS WHOM i AM VERY PROUD OF and I have 2 grandchildren who are adorable. My ex-wife and I are good friends and she still looks great and together we enjoy the children and grandchildren.   Now like so many others on this list you are taking the negative side of the issue.  Would I have been better off to emulate so many guys on this board who are afraid to take a chance and go from one broken relationship to another with nothing to show for it ?  It takes courage to do what DT is proposing to do and if he does his due diligence I am certain that he will be delighted with his new life. 

I am urging DT on even tho I am divorced because the experience was worthwhile.  Everyone benefitted from my marriage particularly the children.  The benefits are lifelong.  Think positive - Jim

Me, negative??  You really know nothing about me...but, regardless, the whole point of my post was, maybe you should have included the "divorced" part in your original post, rather than painting the picture that you married a woman with 2 teenage kids and lived happily ever after.  I for one wish DT all the best, but as I stated previously, it's a very difficult journey...More than anything else the men have to change alot more than the Colombianas...and the problems that I have seen over the years is that most men who are 40 and over don't want to change...

Sorry Jim, didn't want to paint myself as negative....just realistic...but when egging others on with your life examples, it's better to tell the WHOLE story.  Also, you seem to be "bragging" that your relationship lasted 10 years...not very long in my book...I'm very sure everyone benefited...but in the end ANY marriage that ends in divorce is NOT successful.  Ask Daytrader this:  "If someone would tell you that your relationship will only last 10 years with your CAli Diamond, will you still pursue it??"...my answer for me would be NO...better off using the money on other things, maybe financing an orphange, and then enjoying life in Colombia with 2 or 3 young girls in a penthouse in Medellín...(hey, sounds like a good idea to me)...