How did you find your Vietnamese bride?

[Bob_S]

Write some, e-mail some, internet chat with some, get introductions of sisters, friends and cousins of MOBs already here, go on vacation in that country and talk to sales girls in the mall - All of those methods have been successfully used by members of this board.

Let's not forget actually moving and working there for a while.  Nothing beats joining the expat community for a while for being able to spend time getting to know the culture and seriously court a lady.  Of course if you're so horny your balls are about to explode, then you got no choice than to go with a guy who promises a bride in a week.

I finally got my act together, did my research, and booked my own trip(s). I can tell you this was certainly a good move on my part, not only did I save thousands of $$$ but I gained self-confidence in international travel.

My advice: do not spend all that money on this service. You are putting all your eggs in one basket - travel arrangements, accomodations, and entertainment. So what happens if you do book 3 weeks over there, and then on the 2nd day you realize that this service is a joke? You are then just stuck...and out thousands.

I can attest to that.  When I first started this stuff ages ago, I had never been out of the country on my own (just part of a package tour once), so I spent more than $10,000 over multiple trips to Russia with an agency that held my hand through most of my stay and set me up in a nice apartment, and many introductions.  It was a valuable learning experience, but I wasn't deluded enough to think they would have me married in 5 days.  They could only introduce me to someone.  I knew I would have to make return visits to court the girl I met.
And despite that, it still didnt work out in the long or short run with that one girl I chose (or more specifically chose me).  Nothing is guaranteed (we divorced less than a year after we got married), but the experience did give me the confidence to try living overseas for a while which is ultimately what worked best for me in finding a better quality woman who wasn't marrying me for my money or passport. (She had more money and her passport is welcome in more places.)

William brought up an important point. If she has close relatives here in the States, be aware that she may be more interested in that visa to join her relatives than in a loving marriage to you. HOWEVER, meeting a good woman through local relatives can work to your advantage. It worked for me and for many other members here. Just be aware of possible fraudulent motives and use your head.

I would also recommend getting to know some local Vietnamese folks and learning all you can about their customs and culture, including some basic language skills.

For that matter, it might just be easier for Steve, DrJoker, and all them guys revving up for a Vietnam trip to just vacation in Huntington Beach and hang out at Westminster Mall for a few days.  They'll be sure to meet lots of nice Vietnamese girls who are definitely not greencard sharks, and you can try some of the cuisine you'll be eating for the next 50 years if you do meet one.  You'll also know they are not hooking up with a farang gaijin gringo auslander just to get the hell out of Dodge, though she may not so willingly submit to a doctor verifying that her cherry isn't popped. 

[Ray]

...though she may not so willingly submit to a doctor verifying that her cherry isn't popped.

And if you go down there in the summer, you'll be able to check for stretch marks yourself before you even introduce yourself...

[jm21-2]

Man..I saw that Mr. Cupid site a while ago and was laughing my ass off. Back then, it said he only catered to Taiwan and Singapore, and when a girl said foreign brides were being exploited by US men, I could point her to that and say "you think we're bad???"

Actually, I was just writing such an e-mail as I read this...
"from what I gather, he has the girls work in a clothing factory to pay for them being advertised to the men, then when a man comes, they parade the girls in front of him until he sees something he likes, and after a virginity test to make sure the goods are intact, they get married. Guaranteed marriage with a max of 5 days from start to finish!"

Sigh..now I'm at a loss for words..

[Tristan]

When I went to Vietnam I immediately headed for the nearest university in HCM City and signed up for intensive beginning Vietnamese.  Here are the benefits I got out of it:

1.  Got to learn the language right off the bat.  Sure, the language is hard to learn but every day I got better and this facilitated every other thing I did in the country.

2.  Got to learn the culture much faster.

3.  Got to meet one teacher who wanted to date me, and who spoke English.

4.  Was able to meet grad students while hanging around the university.

5.  Was able to get around better in the country, get to know people better, etc.

By the way, I have studied Japanese in Japan, Spanish in Nicaragua and the quality of the teaching in HCM U was the finest language instruction I have ever had.  The professors, and they were professors, were highly trained in teaching methods and even learned classical Vietnamese, which used Chinese characters.

[william3rd]

Any more input on the Mr. Stupid agency?

$200 a day for extra stay? For three weeks. . . .

I cant do Vietnam for you but if you give me $15000 I can put you up in Thailand and get you married off in three weeks. You dont want no nasty ass virgin- I can find you a woman with experience who will rock your world. . . . .

My profit should be somewhere around 13K so I will throw in the immigration work for free.

[Ray]

[piet-gorilla]

Hi Steve.  Blue Dragon was the site I used to find my wife, it was excellent.  I contacted about 20 of the youngest, most attractive, most educated women, about half responded, about a quarter were excellent candidates seriously interested in doing the deal.  I learned that if one has the right source for candidates, he can find a wife that was way beyond what he could ever hope to find anywhere else.  So, the source is one key.  Of course, there are many other very important aspects of the process.  At this time, I have not settled on what is the best source agency, perhaps Vietcupid, but I think they are not following IMBRA, as I think most of them are not.

With relation to Saigon, I think you kinda have it backwards there.  While it is true that there are lots of good girls over the entire country, the boondocks over there are used more by the Taiwanese (and others) who essentially purchase a girl out of poverty.  The girl may still be excellent, but the approach to find one is a lot different than how an American goes about it.  Of course, our law is you have to speak a common language to get a visa.  So that is one reason Saigon is good.  Logistically, it makes sense to concentrate on the Saigon area (say within 50 miles or so), as you have the highest concentration of educated, English speaking, somewhat sophisticated, highly motivated girls, who have some understanding of Western thought and capitalism.   Also, it makes your travel and meeting plans a lot more efficient. 

Sincerity is just part of the question, sincere about what?  This is a huge subject, and you have to learn a lot to do it properly.  Girls may be sincerely willing to give their love to a man who will give them a better life.  Others may be sincerely willing to try, but also desperate to have the better life, and quite willing to come over and then split if the man is not worthy.  Add in many other scenarios, and many shades in between, and you find that the man has to do a bang up job of the entire process in order to have an excellent outcome. 

Email is fine, but very important to not get into live voice until about 4 or more big letters between both parties. 

Let me know what sites you think are good, I am helping a friend with a search at this time.  Feel free to message me off line, if you want to get into more advanced detail on these issues.  Good luck on your search, I agree that Vietnam is the best place in the world to do this. 

[Ray]

Of course, our law is you have to speak a common language to get a visa.

Not true. There is no law requiring a common language as a requisite to getting a visa for either a fiancee or spouse.

However, she may have problems at the visa interview if the consular officer doesn't think the couple can communicate effectively, raising suspicion of a lack of a valid relationship. But that alone is not automatic grounds for denial of a visa.

That being said, I wouldn't recommend a marriage where the parties could not communicate verbally, at least at a basic level.

Ray

[william3rd]

and in Guangzhou-if they dont like the language ability of the fiancee, you have to provide a video of the USC speaking in mandarin. Or-at least pay the paralegal outfit accross the street for their help.

[Jeff S]

Good thing they didn't have that rule in effect in Tokyo about 21 years ago 

- Jeff

[piet-gorilla]

in Vietnam, the consulate officer will deny the visa if the woman cannot speak a common language with the man.  Perhaps law is the wrong word, if you prefer rule, or guidance or dictate or finding.  Bottom line, if she does not speak the same language as the man, she is not getting the visa, in Vietnam.  May not be true in other countries. 

[core2000]

I assume the absolutely best way to meet Vietnamese women is by actually going to Vietnam?

I'm committed to a year in Australia for work, so I can't get away for that period. However, I'll be free to go to Vietnam for some time before I return to Ireland. Are there any good steps to make prior to such a trip to Vietnam? I've looked at the sites listed in this thread but pickings are quite slim. Is that true of all the online sites?

[jm21-2]

I've been occasionally flicking through the profiles on sites listed online for a bit, and there seem to be very few, if any, updates on the Vietnamese sites I've found.

Don't know if these have been listed, but a few places to try, if you haven't found them already:

A good amount of links to Asian agencies from all countries. Seems to be a good source.
http://www.life-mates.com/asians.html

Vietnam Ladies (the site seems clean, seems to be a good selection)
http://www.vietnamladies.com/

Catinasia.com (agency with a decent amount of girls)
http://www.catinasia.com/cgi-bin/page.cgi?lg=english&template=catinasia&p=about_us

Single Vietnam (free, didn't look like too many girls)
http://www.singlevietnam.com/

[BigBlock502]

I consider myself lucky to not haveing to go through an agency. I have a friend who went to Vietnam to meet his wife and after seeing them together I had to ask her if she had any friends or relitives that might want to meet an american guy. She knew I was really an outdoors, camping and fishing kinda guy and took the information and came back with an email address, we hit it off from there. But I wanted to comment on a place where you can meet them. When I was over in Vietnam I got to go to 3 different internet cafes and when I was in there I always noticed a  different girl on a website called Love Happens. So? Maybe thats another alternative site to check out as I actualy saw the girls there on this site. Never checked it out myself but thought I'd pass it on.... The town was Haiphong about 70 miles from Hanoi that I was in.

Mike...

[ReptilesBlade]

Thank you all for the wonderful info. Can I get a direct link to that Blue Dragon web site?

[totem]

Any girl that has a relative in the US may have other intentions but that also goes for other countries as well- especially aunts and uncles.

Why do you say this?  I have been in contact with a Chinese woman, an accountant of about my age (she's 48) and she makes no secret about the fact that she is happy that I live 15 miles from her sister, who is married to an American man.  I thought this would be a good thing since she would have someone to talk to in her language and someone to socialize with while I'm working overtime.  What do you think?

[william3rd]

Look at the 4th family preference category and my discussion elsewhere about anchor babies. One girl comes in and the doors are opening for all of the relatives. But some relatives may be left behind, especially nieces and nephews, as they age out. US citizen uncles and aunts with petitions pending in the 4th category may mean that the nieces and nephews over 21 will be left behind for years.