How did you find your Vietnamese bride?

[SteveK]

I've just started on my quest to find a Vietnamese wife.  There are many Vietnamese living here in San Diego (as a result of the Navy personnel stationed here) and I've always found them very attractive.

So, do you have any recommendations on web sites for meeting Vietnamese ladies?  I Google'd a few sites last month, but strangely 1 site, Jewels of the Blue Dragon, is no longer accessible, which is unfortunate because they seem to have the largest selection of women. 

Other web sites I've found seem to have only women from Saigon.   I fear these ladies may be less sincere in their intentions as compared to a more rural girl, but this is only conjecture on my part.  But perhaps the city girls are more likely to speak some English, which is important since I do not speak Vietnamese.

Lastly, is everyone using email for making first introductions?  Email seems less personal than a handwritten letter, but delivery time is obviously much faster.  Waiting 2 or 3 weeks for a reply via postal is an awfully long time.

Thanks for any help!
Steve

[william3rd]

Sorry I cant recommend any VN agencies for you but I would caution you. Any girl that has a relative in the US may have other intentions but that also goes for other countries as well- especially aunts and uncles.

It is not whether they are country or city that matters-it is what is in their heart.

There was some guy talking about some VN marriage agency but it sounded awfully suspect. And awfully expensive. . . . .

Mr. uh -damn it, I think I am having a senior moment.

[doombug]

...do you have any recommendations on web sites for meeting Vietnamese ladies? 

Try this for starters:

• Browse to www.cherryblossoms.com.
• From the drop-down menu, select "Vietnam."
• Click, "Search."

Voilà!

That simple.

Between the ages of 18 and 40, and as of this writing, my search returned 141 women. Mind you, this is strictly Vietnamese women, but as you browse the site, your interest level may broaden to include women from other cultures. And excluding ladies from Ho Chi Minh City (formerly Saigon; or, as some of them seem to prefer, "Hcm," or "Hcmc") might not be such a good idea, as the metro area includes 9+ million people.

Besides PL, there are relatively few sites (www.visajourney.com, being another) that I've continually refered back to, or found exceedingly difficult to stay away from, and Blossoms has been one of them. Your issues with email are almost a nonissue over there since Blossoms has a built-in "contact" feature, as well as a vibrant chat feature. The site is very dynamic, with lots of activity and updates regarding the relationship progress of other members, and you'll be continually receiving "feelers" from numerous women. (Careful of the sharks, though!)

I stepped away from the site for basically one reason: I could not commit to any particular person. (You know: Kid in a candy story?) Plus, nowadays, I'm more of an advocate than a participant.  

In the end, I took my 20-ducks-a-month membership dues and bounced.

Better luck to you, though, should you give Blossoms a try. At the least, I think you'll enjoy the site as a great intro to foreign women.

Peace out, homeslice!


Edit: If you're interested in browsing the full profiles at Blossoms--to kick the tires, so to speak--you can log in under my nom de guerre >>>> Tiberius Hotpickle.

The info. needed to log in:

ID: spyjax@gamebox.net [Worry not, it's a garbage email account]
Password: tiberius

[Dan]

I've just started on my quest to find a Vietnamese wife.  There are many Vietnamese living here in San Diego (as a result of the Navy personnel stationed here) and I've always found them very attractive.

So, do you have any recommendations on web sites for meeting Vietnamese ladies?  I Google'd a few sites last month, but strangely 1 site, Jewels of the Blue Dragon, is no longer accessible, which is unfortunate because they seem to have the largest selection of women. 

Other web sites I've found seem to have only women from Saigon.   I fear these ladies may be less sincere in their intentions as compared to a more rural girl, but this is only conjecture on my part.  But perhaps the city girls are more likely to speak some English, which is important since I do not speak Vietnamese.

Lastly, is everyone using email for making first introductions?  Email seems less personal than a handwritten letter, but delivery time is obviously much faster.  Waiting 2 or 3 weeks for a reply via postal is an awfully long time.

Thanks for any help!
Steve

In addition to the comments by William and doom - here is a link to VietnamCupid (Click HERE). Please let us know if it works out for you.

- Dan

[william3rd]

MR. CUPID. . . . THanks for the memory jog DAN, Could you get me some prune juice and metamucil while you are up, Dan?

That one seems a little too bizaar for a marriage agencies.

Problem with VN- three waves of refugees came. The boat people, the PIPS (without Gladys Knight), then their immediate relatives, lots of family members left behind especially nieces due to age outs. Big fraud ring busted last year for phoney fiancees. . . .

PIP- Parolee in Public Interest.
All that means to you is to be very very careful. I have had enough trouble with Thais over the years. Take lots and lots of time. . . .

I had a VN VAWA case about 5 years ago. . . . the USC WOMAN beat up her VN immigrant husband. . . it goes both ways.

Good hunting to you.

[SteveK]

Thanks for quick replies!  I'll take a look at the Cherry Blossoms and Vietnam Cupid sites tonight.

I found the VisaJourney.com site last week... it contains a wealth of information on immigration issues and the members really support each other.  If I find the right girl, I suspect I'll be spending a lot of time there.

Personally, Mr Cupid seems the wrong way to meet a life-long partner.   His web site is pretty vague on how the introductions are made.  Do you have any time to develop a relationship with your potential bride before tying the knot, or is your match made solely on physical attraction?

And thanks for the heads-up on girls looking to join-up with American relatives.
I'll keep you posted on my progress.

Steve

[drjoker69]

Hi,

I was going to stay out of this one, but since william3rd mentioned it twice... (you asked for it), I'm considering an agency by the name of Mr. Cupid. I have not used them, so I am still researching them. I am still not 100 percent sure I would like to use his services. Here is Mr. Cupid's URL: http://www.mr-cupid.com . If you end up using his services before me, please post a tirp report (thank you). If I end up saving the money to go before you, I'll post a trip report of my experience for all to benefit. If anybody has any useful information about Mr. Cupid, please let me know (thanks!) so that I can make a better informed choice.

Basically, Mr. Cupid owns a factory with 3500 girls from the countryside working there making shoes for him. He pays them $5 a day. This is in a country where the average factory worker makes $2-3 a day. Plus, he gives them free room and board to boot. To avoid your marrying a prostitute (lots of English-speaking girls in VN who actively seek out foreigners for marriage are), he has doctors do a virginity test, a HIV test, a hep B test, and a stretch mark check on all his girls. To make sure you have a good matchmaking trip, he'll include an interpreter. Before you go, you give them your picture and a description of yourself (per IMBRA?). Behind the scenes (unseen by you), the girls will choose or reject an interview with you. After you arrive, you will only be able to interview girls who have chosen to interview you. To make sure the marriage has as little communication problem as possible, he'll have the girls attend English classes for 3 months while living in his dormitory while waiting for the Visa to be processed after you marry her. I've talked with him and it seems like a good operation, but it is kinda costly, so I'm continuing my research on his company while saving money to go.... I told him that it was expensive and he said that it is actually cheap since it includes the wedding. "How much money did you spend on courting your ex-wife and the wedding?" said Mr. Cupid, "WIth me, your wedding is included in the package." Mr. Cupid says that he's never had a client leave without getting hitched. I don't know if this is true, but it seems statistically plausible since he dose have a pool of 3500 girls there....

I've googled Mr. Cupid until my fingers hurt and I have yet to find anything negative about Mr. Cupid. However, another, similar agency in Singapore has an ongoing human rights violation petition out on them by Amnesty International. This agency is http://www.lifepartnermatchmaker.com/ .

In contrast, Lifepartnermatchmaker has only 6 girls you can choose from. They sit in a little office in a shopping mall in Singapore. You  make your choice, pay up, and leave with her. The girl's father is paid money for her. She is under extreme pressure to agree to marry  whoever chooses her because Lifepartnermatchmaker is paying for her room and board while she is just sitting down doing nothing in Singapore. This is not good.

I have posted 2 pics and some articles about Mr. Cupid in this thread:
http://www.planet-love.com/forum/index.php?topic=1239.0

Good luck,
drjoker69
 
P.S. With regard to compatibility, I plan on bringing a questionaire (translated into Vietnamese) and an Israeli voice activated lie detector with me to find a girl who will be compatible with me. Logically, she will be the best choice. Just like Indians who have arranged marriages, marry first, fall in love later. Indians have a 5% divorce rate, by the way. If we are compatible in every way and she is gorgeous, how can we do anything but fall in love?
P.P.S. You can get an Israeli lie detector for less than $150 on eBay.

[SteveK]

DrJoker,
Thanks for the info on Mr Cupid.  Honestly, his match-making and interview process sound fine to me.  There's a large pool of girls to choose from and you only see those girls who also want to meet you.   The english classes are a good idea too.  But, I'd be hesitant to marry a girl based on just an interview.  At a minimum, I'd want to spend a few days with the girl doing some touring around VN.

You'll be waiting about a year for your bride's entry visa to the U.S., so you want to be fairly sure you've picked the right girl.  After her arrival, you might find that the girl you picked did not have the qualities you expected.  Too quiet, too loud, too messy, hates to cook, etc.

[Patrick]

Steve,

About 14 years ago, I briefly tried an ad in the San Diego Union Tribune's personals.  I don't know if they still have this in the newspaper, but it used to run every Sunday.  I said in the ad that I was looking for an Asian/Latin/Caucasian woman.

I ended up meeting someone in a bar (bad idea!) so I didn't follow up with many women from the personal ad, but it seemed that probably 90% of them were Asian that were responding to my ad.  Mostly Vietnamese.  Of the three who I actually met, two would have been at the high end of the attractiveness scale compared to women I had been dating previously.   I also went out once with a Vietnamese woman who cut my hair.

After I broke up with the chain smoking alcoholic slut I met in the bar, I ended up dating a Mexican woman I met next to a swimming pool in Escondido.  That got me really interested in Latin women, and I never dated any other type woman after that, but I felt like it would have been easier for me to meet Vietnamese women than Mexican women in San Diego, despite the proximity to the border.

What I'm trying to get at is that I think you might just want to look locally for Vietnamese women rather than looking overseas.  I was around 32-33 at the time I tried the personal ad.  An electrical engineer and in good shape.  Not sure what would happen if I tried it now at age 47.

[bundy_138]

"he has doctors do a virginity test, a HIV test, a hep B test, and a stretch mark check on all his girls"

Just reading that statement alone would make me run for the hills!!  A virginity test?  WTF!!!  What the hell is a stretch mark test?  It seems that his "girls" are treated like cattle, or property.  This is not the premise of love.....it sounds similar to a puppy mill, but lets call it a "wife mill" for educational purposes!  Marriage out of convenience!

Oh yeah, the Israeli lie detector slays me!  I have heard it all now.   What exactly is that?

Bundy

[william3rd]

But does he check their teeth and gums? Posture? .
What is her speed on 500 furlongs?

Somehow, I am reminded of Spartacus. . . . .

One week to marriage-that may work for some cultures but it seldom works for our culture.

[Jeff S]

When I read threads like this I just shake my head. Hey WAKE UP - This is about falling in-love with a soul mate, not getting an unpleasant task over with with the minimum of time and money. THERE ARE NO SHORT CUTS! Nor are there any fixed good or bad methods on how this is best done. Write some, e-mail some, internet chat with some, get introductions of sisters, friends and cousins of MOBs already here, go on vacation in that country and talk to sales girls in the mall - All of those methods have been successfully used by members of this board. If you think you can pick one out of a lineup with a number pinned to her blouse who speaks no English and she'll suddenly turn her into your ideal wife, I have a bridge connecting Manhattan and Queens that I'll make you a helluva deal on - hurry because I have a few guys interested already and cant hold it.

- Jeff

[SteveK]

Thanks for all the suggestions.  I've sent out my first set of emails and will let you know how things progress.

Steve

[Ray]

Hi Steve, welcome aboard! I also live in San Diego.

First, let me clear up one misconception you mentioned in your first post. Yes, there is a fairly large Vietnamese community in San Diego but it has virtually nothing to do with Navy personnel being stationed here. After the Vietnam War, many refugees or Boat People from Vietnam were settled in San Diego by the government. I am retired Navy myself and I know many of my fellow sailors who married “war brides”, but I can’t think of one from Vietnam. Most were from the Philippines, with a bunch from Japan and Taiwan.

I got to know some Vietnamese ladies in Engineering school (San Diego State) and later as co-workers in the local high-tech industry. Yes, they were some very nice looking women and were often very approachable because most were either born here or came here as young children. I know some American co-workers who married Vietnamese ladies they met here in San Diego.

E-mail is a very effective and usually preferred way to communicate with some foreign ladies, but don’t discount hand-written “snail-mail” letters. Yes, letters are more personal and the ladies will really appreciate receiving letters, cards, and photos in the mail. I would encourage snail mail as a supplement to e-mail or on-line chat. If you are writing letters to a lady, don’t wait for her reply before writing the next one! Also, consider using SMS text messages if the lady has a cell phone. BUT, don’t forget to use that telephone too! Within a month or so of starting up a correspondence, try to make a phone call. Just be patient if understanding each other is difficult at first.

I would recommend limiting your search to ladies who have at least a decent command of the English language. Personally, I wouldn’t even try to court a lady if I couldn’t communicate with her directly. She doesn’t have to be fluent, but I would not recommend communicating through an interpreter if it can be avoided.

If you do meet some interesting prospects on line, start planning a trip to visit one or more. Get your passport now if you don’t have one and start saving. It won’t be cheap and it won’t be easy, but it can be a lot of fun courting a foreign woman.

William brought up an important point. If she has close relatives here in the States, be aware that she may be more interested in that visa to join her relatives than in a loving marriage to you. HOWEVER, meeting a good woman through local relatives can work to your advantage. It worked for me and for many other members here. Just be aware of possible fraudulent motives and use your head.

I would also recommend getting to know some local Vietnamese folks and learning all you can about their customs and culture, including some basic language skills.

Good luck in your search…

Ray

[Tim]

When I read threads like this I just shake my head. Hey WAKE UP - This is about falling in-love with a soul mate, not getting an unpleasant task over with with the minimum of time and money. THERE ARE NO SHORT CUTS! - Jeff

Amen, bro!  Couldn't have said it better!  We can only keep repeating this...and hope folks listen...

Regards, Tim

[drjoker69]

Thanks for the suggestions, guys!

I'm still doing research and until I've save up enough to go on the Mr. Cupid trip, I will be undecided. Therefore, I really appreciate any suggestions you give guys give me.

Anyways, other posters such as tim and Jeff S said that it takes time to fall in love, so 6 days is not enough time. I know logically that I can find someone in 6 days if I use carefully plan questionnaires and a bring a lie detector, but this just doesn't feel right. As much as I am an intellectual, I still cannot do anything that just simply doesn't feel right. So, I analyzed this a bit further.... Another poster posted in the trip report section "Vietnam Trip Report" said that he corresponded by email for 1 year before going to Vietnam to meet a girl that he fell in love with. He went to Vietnam for 5 days (I think. It's not clear from his post). So, let's say that it takes 5 minutes to read an email and 5 minutes to write an email, you'll have spent 3650 minutes with her in a year. That's 60 hours. In terms of awake time, that's 3.8 days. So, this means that this poster fell in love with a Viet girl that he has known for 3.8 + 5 days = 8.8 days, roughly 9 days. I emailed Mr. Cupid and asked him if I can add extra days onto the wife-finding tour so that I can tour the city and spend time with her before I decide. He said that I can, if I pay him $200 a day. This includes my hotel, all meals, and an interpreter/translator. I have 3 weeks of vacation time a year at my job, so I think I can spend 3 weeks in Vietnam.... Thanks for the tip, guys!

As for the "Spartacus" implication that the girls are slaves.... She does have a choice of marrying you or not if she is with the Mr. Cupid outfit, but the other outfit Lifepartnermatchmaker may be violating human rights due to a lack of choice for the girls. No, Mr. Cupid will not check to see if her teeth are crooked. I will personally check that. 

If you are from San Diego and there are lots of Vietnamese there, why even bother with emails and trips overseas?! You can meet them in your home town! The only reason why I'm doing this is because I'm in small town Texas. I already know all the single women in my town. They're all fat, lazy, mean, and many of them cheated on their ex-husbands. One woman just got released from jail because she was in jail for 1 year for shooting her ex-husband dead for keeping the meat smoker after the divorce. I'm sure if a man shot his wife, he would probably get the death penalty. Her lawyer argued that she cannot stay in jail because she had to raise the kids! I want to broaden the gene pool because it is too shallow at my end! 

Anyways, good luck in your quest,
drjoker69.

My friend is dead because his ex-wife shot him. A man's life is only worth 1 year in Texas! Feminazi bullsh*t kills! I don't even look at American women anymore....

P.S. The real slaves are not the Viet girls. The real slaves are the men in America. The Viet girls have a choice. They don't have to marry you. As a matter of fact, you won't even be allowed to interview/see the girls that have rejected your profile (pic & descriptions). Married men in America do not have a choice, especially if they have children. The courts always give custody of the children to the mother in a divorce, so if a man loves his children, he will put up with a b*tch even so that he won't lose his children. He has no choice. My friend waited until his kids were 18 years old, then he divorced his wife. She couldn't possibly liberate his slave, so she murdered him. His choice was put up with the b*tch or die. A lack of choice makes a slave. You might be surprised to find that the real slaves are the men.

[Tim]

drjoker69, from reading your posts I think I might see one issue you are having - uneasiness with overseas travel. I sense that you feel you cannot go to Vietnam without the 'security blanket' of Mr. Cupid's services.  I urge you to shed that notion!

Hold on, let me finish.  I have been there too. I remember that same uneasiness. I was once a Texas boy like you, interested in China. I finally got my act together, did my research, and booked my own trip(s). I can tell you this was certainly a good move on my part, not only did I save thousands of $$$ but I gained self-confidence in international travel.

My advice: do not spend all that money on this service. You are putting all your eggs in one basket - travel arrangements, accomodations, and entertainment. So what happens if you do book 3 weeks over there, and then on the 2nd day you realize that this service is a joke? You are then just stuck...and out thousands.

Please think about this.

Regards, Tim

[Jeff S]

I'm certainly with you on getting out of Dodge when it comes to finding an acceptable a soul mate. But I most emphatically do not think you can fall in-love by mail. One guy on this board fell in-love with a girl by mail then went and married her only to find out he'd been corresponding with her aunt. She took off a couple months after arriving in the US. It takes time, and yes, maybe some luck. I've posted this before, spending a week or so holding hands while walking down a tropical beach and whispering into each other's ear, does not a courtship make. You need to find out what she's like in real life situations, how she interacts with people and family, how she reacts in bad situations as well as good to get a picture of what kind of personality you're dealing with. I'm sure there are plenty of girls in your own home town who can act sweet, sexy, and demure for a week or two if they thought it would benefit them greatly. Why do you think someone from another country would be any different? There are Vietnamese girls who'll get fat and shoot you if you piss them off too. Don't buy the agency hype that they're all sincere, hardworking, traditional wives. Mixed in with the sincere traditional girls are prostitutes, druggies, women with no conscience, lazy ones, whiners, users, criminals, and everything else - no matter what country you visit. Think you can pick them out of a crowd in a couple days? Can you in Texas where you know the language and cultural expectations? What makes you think you can in a country where you can't speak the language, research the police files or credit report, and have no personal contacts who'll speak frankly? I'm not being hard on you, It just sounds like you're trying to simplistically formulaize this. It's not as cut and dried as you're hoping and dreaming.

You seem pretty focused on Vietnam, and I'm guessing it's because of reading the agency hype. Do you like Vietnamese food? music? Do you know any of the language, culture, religions? Know any Vietnamese couples? Are you SURE what you want is a Vietnamese bride? Don't get me wrong, I'm not putting down Vietnamese women. In fact I think they're cute as hell and I love the food & culture. Of course I live only a couple miles from "Little Saigon" in Westminister CA, so get to spend a lot of time immersed in the culture.

I'm married to a women who spoke no English when we met, but I was conversant in her language and we spent nearly three years long distance dating with many weeks together, and many phone calls getting to know each other before decidine to tie the knot. She knew a lot about America, and I a lot about her culture from having been there on several occasions before we'd met, before we were married and we still had to travel down a rocky road of cultural differences, in the beginning few years.

I'd agree with Ray, that if you're intent on pursuing this quick solution formula, you should probably to limit your search to women who can communicate in English. Hopefully you'll get lucky - quite a few guys have - but on the other hand, many haven't.

Just my 2 cents worth...

- Jeff

[bundy_138]

Good answer Jeff, I totally agree.  Alot of guys treat going overseas and finding a bride just like buying a new car.  Any woman that would subject herself to marriage for a green card, free ride or a stepping stone is not worth the time.  Guys think to much with the wrong head and it gets em' in trouble. 

Bundy 

[william3rd]

Hey Jeff S- how do you like the goat down there in those places off Bolsa? I am about 25 miles north of you.

[Jeff S]

My favorite is the vit (duck) but it's sometimes hard to pass up the tom (shrimp.) I usually just say no to the meat in Little Saigon, though, unless it's ciaio shu (pork) from known barbeque shop. I'll jump on chiva barbacoa in Santa Ana, though. (Chiva barbacoa is barbequed goat and Santa Ana is the most Mexican city in the US. Over 70% of the households speak Spanish as a primary language there. Great food, but unfortunately plenty of the bad parts of the culture get imported with the good.)

- Jeff

[william3rd]

I am a huge bpet (duck) fan. Not so enthused with Goong (shrimp).
There used to be some fantastic dim sum houses down there. I dont get down there much any more.

The freeway is alot better now after all the years of work.

anyway- poehm yin dee mach tee dai reujack khun....

[Jeff S]

Yeah - spelling is the hard part. Vietnamese sure isn't phonetic. Yes, there still are some fantastic Dim Sum houses in Little Saigon. I meet with another board regular couple, Stephen & Tess (Stephen is also an attorney) at Seafood Paradise on Westminster Blvd for dim sum lunches periodically.

[william3rd]

If you ever need a fourth for dim sum, then I would be happy to eat as much as I can . and a plate of duck. . . . . .

Would be nice to meet some of these board folk in person. Other than Jack and Kevin on RWD I have not had the pleasure. . .

Hmm- my hundredth post. . . do I get a prize?

[Ray]

Hmm- my hundredth post. . . do I get a prize?