From PL Jim Jones (Promise Colombia)!

[papi]

Daytrade, with all due respect…a lot of guys and I do mean a lot of guys have gotten burned in this process.  Take a look at the much beloved Pete and his first wife. Russia, Latin America, wherever - guys have gotten burned.  I know I am more cynical than most men these days but since you are reading these forums don’t you think there might be some validity to the notion that the process is not always rosy?  You made one trip and make it sound like a fairyland

[daytrader]

I hold to clear standards, some may say they are old fashioned... plus I have one or two close friends check her out as well. 

The gal from Bogota 8 yrs ago, whom I dated for a couple years, no one I knew really thought she was great...after a while I understood and agreed.  I have dated 3 other latin women (all in the USA from SA) and learned a lot and consider myself very choosy.  None of the previous amigas are even close to my Cali Diamond when you evaulate her on all levels. 

When things proceed further with my Cali Diamond, great...she will meet some of my close latin friends or clients (a few clients have already offered to fly down if/when things get serious to check her out)  + she has to pass my 6 month rule, then the relationship can proceed further.  She has the same perspective and seems to have the same values I do, so things look good from here.   Also, her kids are a blast to be with, they have already chosen me (so to speak), Mom is on board, just being patient.  This is for the rest of our lives, so we want to do it right. 

Hold on to your values Guys, set your standards high, you will have a decent chance of hitting close to your target if you have an open mind, IMO (and know espanol!).  I certainly don't have beginners luck, I have experience from previous latinas and a divorce...My thick head can tell the difference between a high risk relationship and a calm, comfortable, fulfilling (and hopefully longterm) relationship. 

I repeat, set your standards, hold onto to most of them;  you will be suprised to find out that the right woman will CHASE you after you make the first move.  That's always a lot of fun! 

DayTrader

[doombug]

No she won't, not if she can't morally justify it -- because she knows the short term benefit outweights the long term moral consequences. 

.

Projecting your morality on them doesn't make it so.

[papi]

Daytrade, I hope it works for you….just don’t come crying to me when the mushroom cloud blows.  Seriously, good luck with it.  You might be the moral majority and I am not…but I think we can get along. suerte

[daytrader]

    Papi,

    Bendiciónes!

    Daytrader

[utopiacowboy]

There's an old saying that "It's just as easy to fall in love with a rich man as a poor man." I would say the same goes for Colombianas. I'm not going to judge any woman who has to prostitute herself to support her family but I don't think that I would have much in common with women living in such desperate circumstances. It's just as easy to fall in love with a professional, middle class woman as it is a poor desperate one.

[markanthony7]

Day trade I partially agree with Papi on a issue or two, I think your unwaivering moral standards are applicable to your personal quest in finding the right wifey but I personally feel you need to leave some room for error, I am not saying change your standards, just "bend but don't break" I am not saying she is not a good woman but I have found the old saying you never really know a person until you live with them, I was a Baptist minster for 15 years and there is no such thing as perfect when dealing with human beings even long standing ministers have issues! and I know this is going to shock everybody on this board but yes, yes even me, I have an issue or two and I am not perfect, I know thats hard to belief but its true! boy thats a relief I am finally glad I confessed that and got that off my chest , I feel like a burden of weight has been lifted off my shoulders! In some ways I empathize with Papi I got burned in my past marriage, I was loyally devoted to my wife for 15 years, the model husband, protector and provider and she still divorced me, she likewise was a model wife and Christian longer than me, when we married I was the only man that ever touched her and our marriage still ended up in the proverbial toilet with the rest of the societal misfits and people with lower moral standards or unreligious people, so keep your standards thats good but leave room for human error, theres no one perfect except God

[sean126]

I would not "knowingly" date a prostitute, but if I had fallen in love with her and THEN found out...that's a tough call to make.  Depends if she did it before I knew her or if she's doing it as we are dating.  This topic has been brought up a month or so ago.

Giving my own personal Christian opinion......If it was in her past and she had since stopped, it would depend if we were only dating or if the relationship was headed somewhere.  It would be a very hard decision, but I can only look at who someone is TODAY.  Everyone has a past and as a Christian myself...I know everyone has done things that are a sin or morally wrong.  I've seen alot of so-called christians that want to put different sins on different levels of severity.  As far as I know...lying will send a christian to hell just as fast as prostitution will...not to mention all the men who are having sex before marriage with different girls "just to try it out", "to make sure they are sexually compatible" or whatever the excuse is.  Getting "it" for free instead of paying for it...will also send a christian to hell just as fast as paying for "it", as far as I know.

I can't hold someone's past against them. It's who they are "today" that matters.  If they've changed their heart, have asked forgiveness (and God's forgiven them)...who am I to still punish them by turning away or thinking I'm better than they are?  It's not my job to punish them or think I'm better than they are even if they haven't changed who they are.

IF I fell in love with someone who is a Christian and later found out that they were an ex-prostitute and If I believed in my heart that this was the one God brought me to,  I don't think I could turn my love off like a light switch.   I mean, in my mind...it would be God bringing us together and if I trust Him...why would I refuse God's best for me?

Would I knowingly date a current prostitute? No.
It's my belief that if you are a Christian and asking God for a wife...the only ones that He has to give you are Christians, so it's really doubtful that anyone would come across a current prostitute in a quest for a Godly wife.

Someone who is a born again Christian said ....they "could never respect a woman that lowered herself to that level.  Vis a vi, she would never accept dinero for something that is much more valuable, her honor, trust and loyalty."  
I understand what they mean and what they are saying...but I can't help but think on the other side of that SAME coin....is the honor, trust and loyalty to God that is being sold by him (the Christian).... for even less than money, which is to say...for lust, greed or ego everytime he does something he shouldn't do. An example might be sex before marriage or even "less minor" like a little lie.  Sounds like the hammer is coming down a little hard with that belief, considering no one is perfect and God looks at us all the same way.      

[daytrader]

In summation of my points I quote Papi -

"Prostitution is rampant in Colombia especially Cali.  I have dated women that I had no idea were in the trade but found out later occasionally slept with men for pesos.  It is everywhere and I am sure touches the folks you met.  If they are not ho's they are borderline."

I reply;
- No one on this board knows the people I have met;
- I totally disagree with all points Papi made earlier but wish him well;
- I'm not pushing my morality on anyone but using it as a filter for what I desire the rest of my life; 
- Nothing I have said or written is unreasonable or closed minded, if one reads carefully one finds that it realistic and flexible. 
-  I want to leave rebuttal to the notion that all women that we all meet in Cali are prostitutes or flirted with it. 
-  A guy that wants a relationship without the feminist attitudes found rampant in the USA does have hope in finding it in Cali, or Bogota or many other places in Colombia. 
-  A successful relationship for such a guy should last more than 5 hours (let's do the math, $1000 for airfare, hotel, entertainment divided by 5 hours = $200 an hour.)
-  A 34 year old mother is not a 40 year old mother
- Saying positive things about someone you met while staying down here a week but not doing anything stupid like giving her a ring is not unrealistic, and is not saying she is perfect (please do a search for the word "perfect" in any of my posts) or that I am perfect or that my standards need to bend or that they are too high.  I would never presume to judge you, your standards or your judgement, since I don't know you. 
-  In conclusion, my posts are to give guidance to guys that have similar goals and to defend the many women that I have met in Cali that were the opposite of many comments in this thread.
-  Those that can't see the points I've clearly made can't seem to spell my handle either.  Rather telling. 

[bundy_138]

Daytrader,

I enjoy reading your posts and I wish you the best of luck in your relationship.  I like to hear the whole "fairy tale" of how nice it is in Cali.  It makes me even more anxious to get there.  Your time in SA is what you make of it.  Everyone will have a different view or different opinion of their travels, it never fails.

I am very surprised with Papis attitude on the SA ladies!  He must have been "burned" bad......he is usually very informative, helpful, and supportive.  I hope he finds the "force" and comes back to the dark side!!   

My first trip is in February and the day cannot come quick enough.

Bundy

[daytrader]

You'll enjoy Cali in February,  Bundy -- try to avoid November/December, they get a lot of rain those months.  Brush up on your espanol, you can never know too much!  Have an open mind, a great attitude and you will likely find good things... it's  a nice change from the USA, the people and sights are great and the weather will likely be awesome! 

Daytrader

[ROLITO]

Hello Daytrader,
From your well thought out posts and instant success
in Cali, it may not be a bad idea to take Papi under
your wings on your next trip. What say ye?

[sean126]

Daytrader, (I think I spelled your handle right)

I am in agreement with you on some of what Papi said.  He's been burned and it looks like and he's in "Colombian woman hater" mode right now.  I'm sure he'll snap out of it once he cools off.  Yes, he did make it sound like there are two kinds of women in colombia.  Prostitutes and soon to be prostitutes.  

I'm very glad to hear you found a Christian woman and I'm sure she's wonderful and very lady-like.  If it's your time to find someone, it's your time....first time or the 20th time to Colombia.   Nothing wrong with hitting a home run with your first at bat.

I don't think anyone was judging you and I know you didn't say you were perfect in anything you've written.  You have every right to set any kind of standards you want, however...it's my opinion that one or two of your comments have sort of a "holier than thou" type feel to it.  Usually when people feel that kind of vibe...they tell you that no one is perfect.   I'm quite sure you do not see it, at all, so I will stop here with it.  No sense in making you more defensive.
On a different note....you trade stocks or futures?

[daytrader]

Hey Sean --
I daytrade the E-Mini Russell 2000 -- I'm a 100% technical trader and use my proprietary software that runs on top of the Tradestation platform (I lease my programs to clients that own or lease Tradestation).  The market moves about 300% per day session, so a daytrader can do quite well, if he keeps his losses small and let's his profits run. 

I've been dating latinas for 8 years... I'm not a beginner, but I did plan the work, then work the plan.  Who knows what the future may bring, but I'm enjoying it so far.  There's some nice latinas down here, if you have the time and know a little of the language.   

DayTrader

[sean126]

Daytrader,
I'm going to PM you if that's ok.

[daytrader]

Hey Sean, no problema

DayTrader

[papi]

Keep in mind that a large % of the population wants to get into your wallet. Men, women - makes no difference.  Colombians that live in America will tell you that – when they go to visit.  It is a cultural thing.  Prostitution and semi-pros run rampant.  Not all are bad but if you guys want to live in a fantasyland – you got warned by Papi first.  The majority but again not all of the women are with foreigners for financial gain. But if you choose to travel with Eyes Wide Shut...you are over 21     

[daytrader]

So Papi, that's why the first latina I dated - whom I visited in Bogota some years ago -   offered to split half the proceeds from selling her car in Colombia ($5,000) with me in covering MY moving expenses to a larger place after she arrived stateside.  I refused the offer, of course, being the gentleman. 

Spoke with my Cali Diamond last night, she is going to take off whatever time necessary (which means she is not going to make money) to spend as a family with me and the kids on my next trip.  The kids are out of school until the middle of January and I return to the USA on the 16th.  I will not abuse the privilege, of course.  How much do you want to bet she's not going to ask me for ANY dinero to compensate for this loss of income?  Betcha it won't even come up for discussion. 

I've read of guys from the USA make the common mistake of flashing money early in a relationship (the 56 yr old guy that was kidnapped and murdered did, among other mistakes he made early in the relationship) with LA woman they are dating -- this then may become a self-fulfilling prophecy - the woman can just extend her hand, and some dumb gringo will put dinero in it. 

Is that something you did, Papi?  Did she become a trained seal after you did it?

[utopiacowboy]

Plenty of chicks do not ask for money. My wife never asked me for a dime and her family neither.

[Kiltboy1]

Early in my Latin adventures, when i did not know Spanish, i had a few ladies ask me for money, gifts  etc and i quickly learned there game, the type of woman to avoid, etc. My current 'FRIEND" and i use friend because i never want to jinx things, has never asked me for money, She has a top level job and has told me she is self sufficient and does not need a man to take care of her. She prepaid with her credit card my hotel in Quito and the airline tickets for the flight to the coast to vacation for 4 days. I told he i would give her the money when i got to Quito and she said do not worry about it, it will all equal out in the long run. So, my point is on par with UCowboy.  Choose a woman that has her act together, is a professional, not a young uneducated  spinner, and you can cut out a lot of the superficial crap that papi seems to run across and we know why that happens right ? right !. My "FRIEND"  is not old  and not young, she just turned 29, so for a guy of 42, she is a great age for me  and i tell you, i have dated some young ones and they bore me out of my mind. They were hot yes, but dumb as a Valleychick. I am sorry, yes i want a better looking women then you find here in the states and one with more love to give, but i also want to be stimulated intellectually as well. Any guy on these boards that will tell you they have anything at all in common with a 18-24 year old woman is lying through there teeth and they know it is only about sex and arm candy, so please quit trying to justify it otherwise. I got no problem with guys  if that is all the game they got, have at it. What i have a problem with is there MOANING AND BITCHING, when these chicas scam there jock staps off !! Lie in the bed you created and  take your medicine and STFU !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

KB

DO NOT READ UNLESS YOU CAN HANDLE THE TRUTH !!

[papi]

Daytrade, again with all due respect you are forming your opinions based on very little experience.  I told you that Colombians living in the USA will tell you the same.  Folks down there will try to get in your wallet.  Period! 

How much do you want to bet she's not going to ask me for ANY dinero to compensate for this loss of income?

Regarding your above statement, one girl I dated actually told me that I would have to pay her for time off from work to see me.  Utopia writes "Plenty of chicks do not ask for money.."  Maybe you found a good one..I hope so for your sake or you are in for a miserable awakening from your coma. Again - you are over 21 - do what you will but you have been warned to be careful.

By the way, hate.com was making fun of your posts and I defended you writing the following:

"the guy went to Cali and met a nice girl. why is this such a crime? even if he interviewed her...i don't get it. I have seen so many experts so critical of others...shorts, no spanish, fat, bald, etc., etc. I don't get it...beginner luck is the best luck...he should not even be reading the forums and would be better off. Most of the experts are miserable...i mean guys can give others pointers but this isn't the fricking army: soldier speak spanish and put on some pants..lol"

I am not an isolated case of having bad experiences!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[rpcv]

Keep in mind that a large % of the population wants to get into your wallet. Men, women - makes no difference.  Colombians that live in America will tell you that – when they go to visit.  It is a cultural thing. 

I agreee with Papi here. The woman I was planning to return and see again in Cali asked me for $. Well, at first she did not come right out and ask, rather her friend Carlos the translator told me that the "right thing to do" as her boyfriend was to send her some $. I felt bad and sent her $50. Well, the next thing I knew, her mom was upset, saying that what did i think her daughter was, a prostitute?, etc, and then my so-called girlfriend asked for $200 more for her beauty school classes.

I spoke with her brother and his wife who live 1 hour from me here in the USA. They were stunned and embarrassed. They said, " she is not starving and does not need the extra $". 

[Ray]

Hey Papi, bring your face a little closer to the screen…



There, now snap out of it!

Tip of the day: If you hang around whorehouses, you’ll probably meet a lot of whores. DUH!

[sean126]

LOLOL...oh man, no mercy here I see.

Have a little pity..it's christmas time. LOLOL.

[markanthony7]

Papi what are some of the general differences between Cartagena and Medellin in culture and diversity of women just very general please