Hello from Ohio!!

[strato1053]

Hi Everyone,  I joined this website a couple months ago but haven't looked at it too much till now, but it seems interesting and I want to get everyone's opinion on some  things. 


I tried this once in the past and things did not go so well,  I met a girl from eastern Europe on a website and went to meet her, fell in love, got her to the USA nearly a year later.  The marriage lasted for about 18 months before we separated and divorce was finalized about 4 years ago. 


That was my last "serious"  relationship  and sadly the most successful one I ever had.  I am now 37 years old and ready to try my hand at love once again.   I still do not seem to be able to attract much attention from American women, so I got online and have been talking to some Filipino women, just chatting and what not. 


I am looking forward to getting to know some of the people on this website and appreciate any advice I get about my quest for love.   I have always found Asian women attractive but do not have any experience dating them. 


Nice to meet everyone!

[Jeff S]

Hi Strato and welcome. We're glad you're here and look forward to you sticking around for a while.


Sorry to hear about your previous experiences in Eastern Europe. As we're fond of saying around here, it's not always about what kind of women you're attracted to, but as much about the culture of the country you're planning on dating from. As I'm sure you found out a few years back, when you marry the girl, you marry her culture too, and so you'd better be sure it's something you can spend the rest of your life immersed in.


That said, I know a couple of Filipna/ American couples in real life, one is a great marriage the other pretty rocky, but they're sticking it out and things are improving. I'm sure that some of the others on the board with a lot more experience than I will offer their advice.


- Jeff

[thekfc]

HI Strato,
             Welcome to the Planet.

Should you have any questions, just ask away.

[strato1053]

Thank you KFC and Jeff.


And you are absolutely correct Jeff,  which is why I am on this website, in attempt to get as much perspective as possible as to not repeat my mistakes in eastern Europe.   


While I do find Asian women very beautiful I am also trading emails with women from south america, and eastern europe as well.   My previous failed marriage was a huge wake up call as to the inherent risk of getting involved in this type of relationship.  Hopefully I can learn from the mistakes and successes of those on this site.

[InnocentVixen]

Welcome strato
With all due respect, may I ask why you think you are not attracting much attention from american women? you don't need to answer this if you don't want to, but I think it would be a good start to ask yourself that, maybe there is some details you can work on, remember international dating is not a magical solution to find love, it is however a great solution to not end up alone if you will take just about anyone but it might not last or be happily ever after kind of result... and with that attitude it is usually a green card shark, a golddigger or just a poor girl desperate to get out of her country if you get lucky instead of the right one, sounds a bit like you ended up with the shark last time but I am just taking a guess here.


You sound like a nice and sweet guy, this makes you good husband material but also a target, how do you feel the connection and attraction is so far with the ladies you are talking? might be wise to stick to the country you feel the most comfortable with.

[strato1053]

Hi Vixen...   thank you for your input.   


I agree that I am a target for people with bad intentions and I do need to keep my eyes open for the signs and then actually listen to them.   I still do not believe my first wife was a green card shark and I do think she also wanted our marriage to succeed, and I will not pretend to be innocent,  there were many things I handled poorly in our marriage. 


and to answer your question...  I am the type of man all the American women really love and adore,  "as a friend"   I am a little unsure of myself and this is a huge turn off to American women,  I do not understand why confidence is so important to women, when in reality it gets you NOTHING.   Because a man is confident does not mean he will treat a woman well, be successful, be a good father,  be wealthy,  or even mean he will be polite!    I know unemployed men who have been in prison that get plenty of dates even when they have a reputation for beating women.  Things like that can be overlooked but god forbid he is a little insecure about himself.   

[Bob_S]

I do not understand why confidence is so important to women, when in reality it gets you NOTHING.   Because a man is confident does not mean he will treat a woman well, be successful, be a good father,  be wealthy,  or even mean he will be polite!    I know unemployed men who have been in prison that get plenty of dates even when they have a reputation for beating women.  Things like that can be overlooked but god forbid he is a little insecure about himself.

Hey Strato.  Been there, done that with a Russkaya before.  Mine lasted shorter than yours.  But I too don't blame her, I blame myself for pushing through a bad match, ignoring all the red flags.  And in the end I found a far better match in the Far East.  Those here who've met myself and my wife can attest that I found a good match for my low key mellow personality.

But confidence IS still important.  It does not guarantee a good father or kind husband, but there are very few men who are successful or wealthy who are not brimming with confidence, whether they show it or not.  It's a trait bred deep into our genes, dating back to before caveman days when it was the confident cave man who did not hesitate to hurl a spear at the woolly mammoth that brought home meat for his mate and offspring.
Besides, what are you worried about?  Almost by definition, you have to have a good deal of confidence to pursue a foreign spouse.  How many guys just dream of this versus how many actually get on a plane and go?  You've been there once and are willing to give it a go again, not so insecure about blundering through foreign airports or embarrassing yourself with a minefield of potential cultural faux pas.  AW are expecting a certain strutting personality type to display your confidence, while many (most?) of the women of the Far East will judge your confidence by your actions.  And they will see that your getting on a plane to go meet them in person half way around the world clearly displays a good deal of confidence.

[RuseMD]

Hey I hope you're able to find what you're looking for there

[raycjs]

Welcome Strato,
 
I have been living in Ohio since winter of 08, my girl is from Colombia and we now both live in Ohio, i wish you the best of luck.. i can not help you much with Asia... if you want to know more about South America then i can help...Once again welcome and best of luck to you
 
Ray