San Andres??? It is worth it?

[LatinSharpei]

I was thinking about closer to the end of the trip taking a three day stay at San Andres with a girl that I took a liking to... Is that asking alot trust wise from that girl?  Is it possible with the way thier lives are set up down there??  Any insight would and is alway appreciated.
 

[whitey]

I was thinking about closer to the end of the trip taking a three day stay at San Andres with a girl that I took a liking to... Is that asking alot trust wise from that girl?  Is it possible with the way thier lives are set up down there??  Any insight would and is alway appreciated.

Asking a lot trust wise from that girl?  I'm assuming you mean that she and her family would trust you enough for her to make the trip?  This depends on many factors: her age, her position within the family (e.g. my wife is oldest and one of the primary supporters of the family), the values and morals of her and her family, how long she/they have known you and how comfortable they feel with you, etc, etc.

I got to know my wife over a 9 month period of friendship online before visiting her, visited the family for lunch on my first day there and almost every day afterwards, and my wife was able to go with me alone to Santa Marta for a week after about 5 days.  I don't think her parents were thrilled, but they didn't object.

Her sister on the other hand is more religious and conservatice, met a guy online for several months but when he came to visit had her mom as chaperone for almost all their time together.  They didn't leave the BAQ alone together until his second trip, many months later.

Is it possible with the way their lives are set up?  Again, depends on her, her family, and her work situation.  From what I can gather, most jobs down there require a lot of planning for vacation, but if it's only a extra day for a long weekend, it may be possible.

[LatinSharpei]

Hmmmm Whitey... You brought up some good points... Yes I was talking trust the way you were speaking of... I mean "love" is a gamble... So if it does not work out then I still have good times and memories...
 
So because you threw out a whole bunch of dynamics that I never thought of... If I have the chance to talk with someone the girls I am going to meet ahead of time I am assuming you would reccommend doing it???  Just curious... It would make the time till July go by alot exchanging emails and stuff.... But just curious what your thoughts and reccomendations are.
 
 

[whitey]

So because you threw out a whole bunch of dynamics that I never thought of... If I have the chance to talk with someone the girls I am going to meet ahead of time I am assuming you would reccommend doing it???  Just curious... It would make the time till July go by alot exchanging emails and stuff.... But just curious what your thoughts and reccomendations are.

I personally wouldn't recommend San Andres for a few reasons:

1) I would rather keep things a little more low key on a first trip and early in the relationship with a new woman.  You are setting up pretty high standards and expectations right off the bat (whirlwind trip outside the country on a plane to an exotic island for the weekend).  Where do you go from there?  Unless you can afford to keep this up and even more, then you may be setting a standard you can't or don't want to live up to.  What happens if she, her friends, or members of her family see you throwing money around like this and think you are an easy mark?

2) If I was serious about meeting someone for a long term relationship and possibly marriage, I would want to spend as much time as possible in her home town, with her, meeting her friends and family, and watching them all interact.  Having said that, going away for a daytrip or weekend somewhere nearby and more modest isn't a bad idea - it's also valuable to see how you get along alone and outside of her safety net.  In my case, Santa Marta was 1.5 hours away by car at a cost of about $11 for transportation.

3) San Andres does nothing for me (although I haven't been there).  Islands and resorts are more or less the same all over.  Colombia, it's sights, people, music, and culture are varied and unique - enjoy getting to know it as much as possible! 

[V_Man]

I agree with Whitey 100%.
Also, the way you put it, I understand the idea is that you'd meet someone then the following week go to San Andres.
Given Colombian culture, you should probably be worried about a girl like that and she should be asking herself questions about you.

On the other hand if you have been web camming for months before hand it is different. In that scenario you are really meeting to confirm you get along well in person and that there is chemistry. You probably have a reasonable idea about each other's character. In that case, it only takes a few days to confirm everything you thought and how you feel about each other. That could be followed by a trip some place. However I wouldn't start with San Andres and pre-booking the whole this is not wise.

This is similar to what I did.
We communicated online in all the usual ways for months. I travelled there and booked a few nights in a hotel. I didn't organise anything beyond that until we had spent a little time together. She had arranged a couple of weeks off work.
As it happened sparks flew from the moment we touched. I made it to the hotel room with my clothes on but not much further!!  We spent a few days together in her city and everything was great. I then moved into her house for a few days and meet her family and friends. Only then did we organise together a trip to the coast for the following week.

Some may say I was lucky. However I talked to a great many girls before I comitted myself to any single one. I also first did some touristy things and got some first hand expereince of her country before I meet her. Plus I was prepared that we would not get along in person. Nothing can be assumed. In addition to that we both talked honestly about a huge range of things before hand. Including the big topics like sex, money and our dreams for the future. I did a few other things to give us both peace of mind that we were both very genuine.

Therefore when we meet it really was mostly about seeing if there was chemistry. Only once we were sure of that did I pay for trips anywhere at all. Then when I did we booked for the following week so that we still have a few days to do day trips to places together before she travelled outside her city with me.

In addition to all of the above: (a) I know myself very well and what is important in life (b) I think many guys are not very realistic about what they are looking for (you have to stay focused on what is really important in the long term) (c) I've dated a lot of women in my own culture before looking elsewhere and (d) I'm genuinely interested in the culture, history, people, geography, food, etc regardless of what happens in my romantic life. IMHO these 4 things make it seem that I'm lucky whereas I'm really just better placed to do well.

[LatinSharpei]

Very very good points on the whole being a mark... I am too trusting at times... I was thinking just in fun... But I guess you are right with setting an expectation and standard... I think it might be better to wing it... Or perhaps if I find the one ask her if she wants to meet for a Rendevous in San Andres while we are waiting for visa paper work cause I miss her...

[Alabamaboy!]

I have never been to San Andres, but I don't think it could be more fun than Santa Marta. Santa Marta is a place where you can drink rum and dance on the beach all night with live music playing, or go downtown to some really cool clubs, and the music does not stop until the sun comes up in the morning. Just make sure you get a place with good insulated  windows or at least a street or so from the main drag or you will not be able to get any sleep at all to enable you to enjoy the next day of your adventure.

Most people I have met from the Coast do not know much about San Andres. They all know about Rodadero. So when they are bragging to their friends and their families (as they all will), they will get much more cred by talking about Rodadero. Rodadero is the vacation place for Colombians, San Andres more for gringos. So if you want to get the real Colombian flavor, I would suggest Santa Marta as Whitey did.

[Micky]

LS -
 

Whitey and VM,  just laid down some very solid stuff.  Listen.
 

One of the things that you want to do (if you meet a possible keeper) is try to make things be as they may REALLY be,  if,  and when,  the relationship grew and she ended up being your wife and living in the U.S. (or whatever Western nation).  Of course I do not mean that wholesale,  a new relationship and all that brings with it,  is always a special and different time.  What I do mean though,  if you are NOT going to be taking super vacations (like flying off to S.A.) in your "regular" life,  you would possibly be giving a very unrealistic of how you roll.  It sure depends on the girl,  but your "average"  Colombiana's world does not include "just taking off for the islands for a few days".  Most all areas of Colombia have recreation/vacation areas nearby that are a lot more reasonable,  in cost,  time and still would make your "average" Colombian really appreciate the thought and having a "getaway weekend"  together.  Whitey talked about going to S.M.,  but,  also Whitey was in,  and his wife is from Barranquilla,  a short bus ride to S.M..  That is ANOTHER very good thing.  Bus travel here is the absolute main form of transport nationwide,  NOT flying.  Spending 4/18 hours on a bus with someone you WANT to be with AND you need to get to know each other is a pretty cool way to get it done.
 

Your first venture should be fun and a learning experience.  As VM said,  whatever way suites you,  on line meets,  agencies,  not all that important.  More important is to know who you are, what you want and how you work.  It is good that you are here reading,  getting different ideas and seeing how others have gone about it.  More than one guy has come to Colombia (for the FIRST time)  with a ring in his pocket!  Not my idea of being prepared.  If you keep your expectations real,  put a good plan together that will fit you, you will have a great time,  no matter how it goes.
 

Micky

[LatinSharpei]

Okay... Sooo Everyone has said the girl is gonna lead and show me alot of stuff... The Vets on this site are pretty savy and I enjoy the information... Can anyone reccommend some places in Cali that would be fun.. I am so stoked about my trip and have been doing everything that I can do research wise... Waiting Sucks !  LOL  I finally decieded to study for my JNCIA cert to pass the time a little bit easier...

[Micky]

LS -
 
This is where BENJ steps in and helps,  he is a Cali guy and knows the flow there.  Finding a nice place up in the cafeteria zone would maybe be good getaway.  Salento,  National Cafe Park,  really a TON of places up there.  Not that far,  but the Colombians dig it AND if the wheels came off not much time or distance for a retreat.  Not being negative,  just thinking ahead.
 
Micky

[Gato4Astrid]

I agree with Whitey 100% what he has written




You can go to San Andres only if you are planning for real vacation and not look for a Colombian for any sort of relationships.  You could always go there for your honeymoon.


If you invite a girl to go there and enjoy your vacation, well it is "FREE" vacation for her, and you will never know her true intentions.