So far so good :)

[DesmondID]

Greetings everyone. With all the negative news and advice that seem to abound here I wanted to share what so far has been a mostly positive experience for me...

My wife had no issues through the final stages of the visa process and has now been in the U.S. for six weeks. I thought there would be some initial transition issues but so far everything has gone better than I could have imagined.

A totally new culture will always have some unexpected knowledge gaps. Electronic items such as computers and smartphones seem to be pretty universal in most places in the world... When I walk into a Carrefour or Exito store in Colombia they seem to have pretty much the same range of items as any similar North American store so I was really surprised at some of items she had no clue about... most of these are pretty trivial but I thought they were interesting:

o Garbage Disposal - She had never seen a garbage disposal and this seems to be the greatest invention ever. A close second is the dish washer.

o Microwave oven - She knew what one was but had never used one. She told me she thought they caused cancer and that her family avoided them. That fear went away after steaming some vegetables in six minutes and making hot chocolate in one minute. She had also never used a regular oven - Her family either boils, fries in oil, or cooks items on a hotplate. We have used the regular over several times and it is very popular. We still had to buy a fryer and oil (she insisted) though we have only used it a few times to this point.

o Peanuts - We went to a Texas Roadhouse restaurant where they have barrels of peanuts (in shells) for free. She had never seen peanuts before though I am sure she has eaten them in other food without knowing. She went nuts for these and filled her coat pockets on the way out of the restaurant. We bought a jar of de-shelled peanuts the next day which she enjoyed but I think she prefers ripping them out of the shell herself.

o Sweet Potato - For thanksgiving we went to a city 350 miles South where much of my extended family lives. None of my immediate family speaks Spanish but a lot of my extended family are native Spanish speakers (from Mexico) so thanksgiving ended up being 8 native English speakers and 22 native Spanish speakers so she fit right in. One of the dishes was caramelized sweet potato which she thought was mashed carrots. I don't think she fully believed it was a potato until we ordered one at a restaurant with skin intact. She says it was her favorite new food on Thanksgiving.

o Handling the cold - This went much better than I could have hoped. I thought the problem would be two fold: In Medellin they show a lot of skin and I did not think she would enjoy the clothing styles or the climate. This was totally wrong - she loves layering up and so far has had no problems with the cold weather. We were walking the dogs this past weekend and it was cold.. We found a small pond that was frozen over and she was throwing a stick and laughing hysterically at the dogs trying to stop on the ice. She ended up taking her gloves and scarf off half-way through the walk because she was too hot. I also forgot to change the houses thermostat for when I am at work - it lowers to 60 degrees at 8:00am until 4:30 when it heats back to 69 Monday through Friday. She never said anything for a couple of weeks and she tends to wear nothing but boots and underwear during the day.

o Along with that - The climate controls of the house really surprised her.. Houses are constructed very differently. When the temps vary from 60-80 there is not a lot of need for things like climate control, insulation, A/C, and a furnace.

o Smoke alarms. She asked about these first thing upon entering the house. I never would never have thought to explain these as they become part of the background after a week of living somewhere. She asked why there are so many and I said "what?" then we went and counted.. 21 smoke alarms around the house.. It always seemed like I was having to replace a 9-volt battery every time I turned around, now I know why
 
o Last night I walked into the TV room and she was very upset - she was talking about the world coming to an end in 2012 and was pointing at the television... On a Sunday evening the Discovery channel Spanish edition showed a documentary about the Mayan Calendar ending in 2012 and the end-of-the-world quackery around it. The Discovery channel used to have a more educational bent but in recent years has really pushed the paranormal and conspiracy crap. My wife has not been subjected to this so the documentary style and credibility lent to the channel because of its name fooled her.

o Isolation. The #1 concern I have is we live in deep suburbia - no taxis, no stores in walking distance, and while the neighbors are friendly it is not the type of atmosphere that one would get in a tightly packed community. I suspect it will take a better part of a year before she has everything in place (driver license, grasp of the language, etc) and feels comfortable going around town on her own... She has a fairly independent personality and is able to talk to her family via Skype. No problems so far.

o She voiced concern in two areas before making the move: The first was the dogs - she was nervous about the reaction they would have to her. I think she was a bit scared of being around them alone... This went away the first time she saw them and they now identify with her more than me after spending time non-stop with them for several weeks.. I came home from work after her second week here and she had flowers sewed into the Labradors neck and back and the Beagle had earrings. I had to shave the hair off the lab to remove the flower on the back but they are both still fully pimped out with homemade collars.

o She enjoys doing the Zumba on the XBOX with the Kinect device scoring how well she is keeping up with the dancers. When I was showing her how to operate the unit I was using the voice command option "XBOX .. NEXT ... PREVIOUS... CANCEL .. PLAY ZUMBA". She has tried many times to get it to work but it refuses to understand her "SBOS!" no matter how loud she yells at it.

o While doing to weekly shopping she told me we were out of detergent. I assured her we had more - I had purchased about a six month supply just before she had arrived - so my guess was were out of the initial bottle. When we got home sure enough - we were out of both detergent and softener. I did at most three or four loads a week before she came which I knew would increase but we are talking 200+ loads in a few weeks... I asked her how much she had been putting in and she showed me the separate measuring cup she had been using.. HOLY CRAP! She had been doing tiny loads every day and using about five times the normal detergent.

I think I have about a thousand of the bullet points I could list heh So far everything is new and still exciting. I am sure as some of the newness wears off she will see some of the negatives of living here and missing aspects of Home. At this point though she is non-stop smiles I am pretty happy with how things are going!

[euforia51]

Excellent news for you Desmond. Congrats! She's from Medellin, you say? These are interesting points for me as my novia lives there now. What barrio, if you don't mind me asking?

You mention cold in your part of the country ... how cold? Chicago in January kind of cold ... or something a little less extreme?
 
I'm curious about your plans for things like English, finding work for her, and other important lifestyle adjustments, if you don't mind answering?

[whitey]

Thanks for the laughs, Desmond ... glad to hear things are going well for you.

My wife was exactly the same way with the garbage disposal, dishwasher, oven, and temperature controls.  I still think she's afraid to use the oven by herself ... I always seem to be around when it needs to be used. 

Her mother asks her on every single Skype call whether she is cold, even though she's often wearing a t-shirt.  No matter how you try to explain it, it's hard to for them to grasp the idea that houses can be heated (although of course they understand air conditioning!).

Another thing she was amazed by was the coffee machine, and all the clocks on the appliances.  Re detergent, I made a point to show her exactly how much to use the first time ... I just knew she'd be filling that cup right up!

All the best ...

[robert angel]

Desmond,

 
That's a great post and a much needed 'positive' boost!! So many things reminded me of my wife's first months--really the first year here.

 
Getting a driver's license and a car will be a major moment in her (and your) life. We live in surburbia too and there just isn't the social interaction and ability to walk to get 'real groceries' or even casual food. Kind of seems land and social vacumn lock compared to her home.

 
Having taken measures tio allow her to maintain communication back home is priceless--smart move.

 
Kitchen & household appliances...where to start? My wife took to the microwave and washer and dryer pretty fast. I just wish that over six years later I could convince her not to unplug the electric coffee maker after everytime we use it. It's not going to burn down the house!

 
Texas Roadhouse!! Yay hay! Even Long Horn, Outback and all the other chains hereabouts don't hand cut their steaks and don't use never frozen meat. I never would have guessed that my budget concious wife would favor Texas Roadhouse's chopped steak--a  meal actually called "Texas Roadkill" Dunno how we'd explain that one to her parents, but my wife and I love it--and like your lovely wife, they're right--there's nothing like shelling those peanuts yourself--the smell and taste! Do you guys have a Five Guys Burgers yet? They have free fresh in the shell peanuts too and with all the ingredients--meats, etc--are  all so fresh and move so fast that they don't even need refrigeration.  Awesome burger 'joint'--great eats, not too pricey, with rocking music to boot..

 
Sweet potaoes? My wife and her friends love them, but they've gone one better. They've discovered and adopted potatoes from INDIA that are even sweeter, quite nutricious and have a wild purple color inside that only Willy Wonka could truely appreciate!

 
Ahhh--the cold.....wait until she survives the first winter, as spring comes in on kitten toes and then summer sneaks in after and cranks up to sizzling--she may swear that it gets hotter here than back home! And boy oh boy--for now, don't those chilly nights crawling into bed together, cuddling (among other things...) and then awakening and not wanting to get out and back into the cooler house rock your worlds? Precious moments indeed...

 
21 smoke alarms? Man---that's a hobby I'd never heard of! 

 
USA TV? Chewing gum for the brain! It's real easy to get used to and can lead to brain decay. We try and watch more movies, but I must confess we do channel surf. My wife loves watching cooking/travel shows, even though we never end up cooking those recipes--they all seem to have one or two unobtainable ingredients or require some weird equipment, like a left handed, double/triple garlic/leek press.....We don't even use a rice cooker, the food processor, juicer and mixer all collect dust--big wastes of money for us. We squeeze, slice and dice by hand and cook 'real meals' in cast iron mostly!

 
Back to TV--I let her watch some stuff I don't care for (medical--health shows), we both enjoy "60 Minutes", (the TV show, wiseguys)  but I refuse to allow 'Keeping up with the Kardarshians to view!

 
200 loads of laundry in a few weeks? Bless her efforts, but you may want to curse the electricity bill!

 
Hey--It sounds like a great relationship, full of discoveries--you're living the life with a beautiful bride--the life that the best of memories will eventually be made of!!

 
Thanks for the positive buzz--I needed that!

  

[DesmondID]

Excellent news for you Desmond. Congrats! She's from Medellin, you say? These are interesting points for me as my novia lives there now. What barrio, if you don't mind me asking?

You mention cold in your part of the country ... how cold? Chicago in January kind of cold ... or something a little less extreme?
 
I'm curious about your plans for things like English, finding work for her, and other important lifestyle adjustments, if you don't mind answering?

Hey there thanks for the comments..

Her barrio where she lived is Robledo Kennedy - estrada 3 I believe. A few shots from the balcony:







As far as cold: the average temps are low 20's at night to upper 30's in the day.. We had a cold spell for two weeks where the lows were down around 10-15 and it never was above freezing. We spent Christmas break in Park City - My mother gave us both snow shoes for Christmas and she was bummed that there has been so little snow to try them out.. So not "extreme" cold but she has been very tough!



There are no immediate plans for her to look for work.. She is artistic and some friends are setting up a site for her that can take credit card orders for some of her items. She walked through "el centro" in our town and was shocked at how much people were charging for earrings, bracelets, and other jewelry so she bought some tools and has been feverishly making Jewelery and is planning on setting up a booth when it gets warmer...

The English has been slow.. She has books and CDs she reads right now. She is improving and she was going to start classes this month but we may put that off until March.. Other than that there have not been that many adjustments... She insists on making my lunch everyday for work even though I have two slices of bred with four pieces of ham (no mayo or anything else) and a banana every day and can make it in about 20 seconds..

[maritime04]

congrats
 
i enjoyed reading your observations

[z_k_g]

Great Post.

We need more like this.

Congrats!

[braziliangirl]

What a beautiful picture, Desmond! I wish you guys all the best. Please keep us posted.

[JimD]

 That's an interesting and informative post and sounds like it's going well.  Yes the  photos from her barrio look like Medellin and up on the hillside like that I would guess strata 2 or 3. Anyway I think some of the “adjustments” merit a little explanation. As to garbage disposals, dish washers, microwaves and ovens etc. Colombians who live in all stratas but especially in estratas 2 or 3 abhor to the point of fanaticism spending money on “servicios” like electric, gas and water. It probably wouldn't have  occurred to you but it would have been interesting to count the number of light bulbs you found burning at her house in the evening. A family like hers wouldn't think of buying a microwave. It would just use way too much “energia”.  Ever gone through Exito looking for microwavable foods? About the only thing you'll find is popcorn and it doesn't sell well.  Apart from TVs and cell phone chargers things that consume electricity aren't popular. Regarding smoke detectors no she probably hasn't seen one. Homes in Colombia except for the very poorest are masonry structures and there's not much inside except for the furniture that can burn. House fires are rare so no need for smoke detectors.  I can understand her thing for peanuts, I've never seen them in the shell in Colombia. And it's funny you don't find sweet potatos (they aren't actually potatos) here since they're supposed to be native originally to the area between the Yucatan and Venezuela.

[euforia51]

There are no immediate plans for her to look for work.. She is artistic and some friends are setting up a site for her that can take credit card orders for some of her items. She walked through "el centro" in our town and was shocked at how much people were charging for earrings, bracelets, and other jewelry so she bought some tools and has been feverishly making Jewelery and is planning on setting up a booth when it gets warmer...

The English has been slow.. She has books and CDs she reads right now. She is improving and she was going to start classes this month but we may put that off until March.. Other than that there have not been that many adjustments... She insists on making my lunch everyday for work even though I have two slices of bred with four pieces of ham (no mayo or anything else) and a banana every day and can make it in about 20 seconds..

Good deal, Desmond and best of luck. Seems if she is insisting to make your lunch everyday as simple as it is, you're best to let her do it. And you probably already know that. Awesome pic of her on the ice. She sounds ambitious with the making jewelry and what-not ... which is great. If she keeps that up, you may be living off her coin before long and you will be making her lunch!   

[maritime04]

Unfortunately I did not have the chance to stay with her after the first few days, like you said above the first couple of new experiences are enjoyable, I get to speak with her daily and my parents have taken her on a few road trips so far during the weekend, she’s impressed with the infrastructure and MIA was to her a “nice airport”, she immediately commented about understanding my frustration these past years with traffic lay-out in Medellin, when you compare it to USA.
She has stated that she does not see a difference in the size of parking spaces here compared to Medellin, I disagree but it could be minimal size difference but it’s there.
Over all she seems happy on the phone, and is getting along great with my parents and their German Shepard, over the new year holiday she was able to visit with most of the family, cousin sister ect… since my family is of Colombian background there weren’t any language issues or problems.
I have 19 days to go, so counting down. Immediate concerns are the social security card application and visit to local office, and then marriage license and AOS application with permit to work and advance parole. English classes once I am back down, are also something I need to look into.

[DesmondID]

Her mother asks her on every single Skype call whether she is cold, even though she's often wearing a t-shirt.  No matter how you try to explain it, it's hard to for them to grasp the idea that houses can be heated (although of course they understand air conditioning!).

Another thing she was amazed by was the coffee machine, and all the clocks on the appliances.  Re detergent, I made a point to show her exactly how much to use the first time ... I just knew she'd be filling that cup right up!

heh! funny! I've heard her talking to her mother/sister and one of the first questions is almost always asking her if she is cold..

So on the time thing that reminded me: In our room the clock projects the time on the ceiling. It took here a few minute to figure out it was a projection and not actually a display on the ceiling. She asked me why it was there and I said "so I don't have to turn over in the middle of the night to see what time it is." The look she gave me was basically "how lazy can you get?"... Since then we have traveled a few times and each time the room has had one of the projection clocks (must be common now).. The last trip this was not the case and she had to actually turn over to know the time.. Oh! She complained there was no time on the ceiling..

This is a double edged sword.. She had a night where she could not sleep a few nights ago and she said that both I and the dogs were snoring loudly. She said was just laying in the bed  listening to chorus of snores and staring at the time projected on the ceiling..

A pic of one of the dogs that she worked on one day:

[DesmondID]

What a beautiful picture, Desmond! I wish you guys all the best. Please keep us posted.

Thanks much! I have this excellent method of taking photos: Take about a thousand bad ones and then somehow I get lucky and snap a good one. So far she has been good about letting me get enough off to ensure at least one is acceptable.

[z_k_g]

Thanks much! I have this excellent method of taking photos: Take about a thousand bad ones and then somehow I get lucky and snap a good one. So far she has been good about letting me get enough off to ensure at least one is acceptable.

Cute boots!!

Zulu

[whitey]

Parece que ella le gusta mostrar su colita ... que bueno!

Great pics Desmond ... that's a good idea ... I'm sure Nazly would get a real kick out of walking on a frozen pond or stream ... it's been too warm here to try that yet.

Re the ceiling clock projection ... man, I feel like a real hick ... never heard of it, but it's a fantastic idea.  Gots to get me one!

[euforia51]

... I have this excellent method of taking photos: Take about a thousand bad ones and then somehow I get lucky and snap a good one.

That's the only way to shoot photos if you ask me. What does she think of the food here vs. what she's use to eating back home?

[braziliangirl]

Thanks much! I have this excellent method of taking photos: Take about a thousand bad ones and then somehow I get lucky and snap a good one.

Nah... I can see you have a good camera. (And a good model too )

[DesmondID]

Kitchen & household appliances...where to start? My wife took to the microwave and washer and dryer pretty fast. I just wish that over six years later I could convince her not to unplug the electric coffee maker after everytime we use it. It's not going to burn down the house!

I forgot to mention the blender and electric can opener..  The blender gets used every week before grocery shopping day. Usually it is the left-over strawberries or whetever berries that were bought the week before, the rest of the milk, ice-cream, etc.. nothing goes into the garbage... She also dives into the pantry and grabs random items (to me) and throws them in such as brown sugar. The week she figured out the electric can opener I saw her digging though then pantry and she came out with a can of condensed milk... It was a couple years old I'm sure as I don't think I have ever purchased condensed milk... She opened the can, took a sniff of the contents and recoiled from the smell.. I saw her standing there thinking before she shrugged her shoulders and DUMPED IT INTO THE BLENDER.. That last part happened in slow motion as I was yelling "NOOOO!!!"

Having said that everything that has come out of that blender has tasted really good so far...

Texas Roadhouse!! Yay hay! Even Long Horn, Outback and all the other chains hereabouts don't hand cut their steaks and don't use never frozen meat. I never would have guessed that my budget concious wife would favor Texas Roadhouse's chopped steak--a  meal actually called "Texas Roadkill" Dunno how we'd explain that one to her parents, but my wife and I love it--and like your lovely wife, they're right--there's nothing like shelling those peanuts yourself--the smell and taste! Do you guys have a Five Guys Burgers yet? They have free fresh in the shell peanuts too and with all the ingredients--meats, etc--are  all so fresh and move so fast that they don't even need refrigeration.  Awesome burger 'joint'--great eats, not too pricey, with rocking music to boot..

No Five Guys Burgers in my town yet.. There is 50+ restaurants within a 5 mile radius so we are slowly hitting them over time.. So far they have all been popular with Famous Daves and Fuddruckers at the top of the list.
 

USA TV? Chewing gum for the brain! It's real easy to get used to and can lead to brain decay. We try and watch more movies, but I must confess we do channel surf. My wife loves watching cooking/travel shows, even though we never end up cooking those recipes--they all seem to have one or two unobtainable ingredients or require some weird equipment, like a left handed, double/triple garlic/leek press.....We don't even use a rice cooker, the food processor, juicer and mixer all collect dust--big wastes of money for us. We squeeze, slice and dice by hand and cook 'real meals' in cast iron mostly!

 Back to TV--I let her watch some stuff I don't care for (medical--health shows), we both enjoy "60 Minutes", (the TV show, wiseguys)  but I refuse to allow 'Keeping up with the Kardarshians to view!

The TV watching has been pretty minimal. She was glued to the TV for about a week after the Spanish channels were added but after that we watch the news on RCN (I have the close captioning on so it helps with my Spanish) and then everything else has been movies... One great thing I have found is that almost every movie has Spanish subtitles. There are a bunch of sites where subtitles can be downloaded.. I play the movies on the western digital media player which will look for the SRT files and add the Spanish subtitles to the movies... I've also got the English subtitles for them so after watching them one time she can re-watch them with the English subs.

She tends to like action and dramas.. I've read that American movies that do best in Latin America are the action moves.. I put on Cloverfield the other night and that turned out to be a bit intense.. But the Hangover 1/2 movies and Oceans 11/12/13 were big hits. Someone suggested "Fools Rush In" which is a movie about an American that married a woman from Mexico and has to deal with the Families on both sides. The movie was worth it just for the scenes where she sits on the toilet while he is in the bathroom brushing his teeth and won't let him leave..

200 loads of laundry in a few weeks? Bless her efforts, but you may want to curse the electricity bill!

I should have made that clearer.. I had around 200 loads worth of detergent. . She was using way too much detergent and went through all of it in a few weeks.

One more pic here from the first night in the US .. Guess the city

[euforia51]

One more pic here from the first night in the US .. Guess the city

First night in the U.S. ... err a POE city, maybe? Miami? (shrug) The pic is awesome!
EDIT:
No wait ... not Miami ... New York! lol