Bachelor Once Again

[Howard]

Finally… the cat is out of the bag!

At 2pm on Wednesday, March 30th, 2011 I said a tearful goodbye to the love of my life and the pride and joy I once feared ever having.  Gerlie and Howie entered security at Detroit International airport and took the best of me with them.  They are now safely in Davao and now that the surprise is over, I can share a little.

In December Gerlie’s younger brother Russell had an idea.

“What if we went back together in April for Lowie’s graduation?” He asked
“I just don’t see how it’s possible” Gerlie replied.  “I don’t know, let me ask Howard.”

For years Gerlie and I have struggled with the thought of her and Howie going back to the Philippines without me.  I don’t love the idea for several reasons, but mainly it’s a paternal issue.  Who will protect them when I am not there?  Of course, that’s a silly question.  Her family is wonderful.  Any one of them would step in front of a bullet for Gerlie or Howie, so, for me, it merely came down to ego.  I am the man, the loving husband, the proud father…  Who will lead our troup in my absence?  I take my responsibility seriously.  Even if I am not the perfect spouse, my Gerlie loves me and my son looks up to me for guidance and support.  I am now what I always wanted to be.  I am loved and I am needed.

I’m not gonna lie.  It’s also about money.  The economy and an idiot for governor have crippled my business.  It’s getting better, but whether it will get better soon enough, is the question.  My friends come back from trips and tell me how they spent, 6000, 10,000 and FIFTEEN FRICKIN’ THOUSAND DOLLARS in a month or two, I do the math and want to hang myself!  I just didn’t see how it was possible.  I wasn’t sure we’d EVER get to go back to the Philippines the way things are now.  At least the way things are according to my friends around here.

So Gerlie talked to her aunt and a voice of reason chimed in.

“Gong… how much do you think I make?”
“I dunno… how much do you make?” she asks.
“Well, I don’t make much more than I did when you were here.  We’re doing okay”

Gerlie’s aunt is a Phamacist at a private hospital.  She makes maybe 10, 15 thousand pesos a month and is the primary bread winner for her family and has son in private school.  NOW we’re talkin’!  Somebody is doing math I can comprehend!

After a bit of research Gerlie confirmed my hunch.  My buddies are getting TAKEN and their wives – to varying degrees – are complicent.  Don’t get me wrong.  I don’t think any of my buddies’ wives are evil, I just think that their priorities are a little out of whack.  None of them were the breadwinner when they were there, except Gerlie.  All of them have older siblings that were the boss before they hit the jackpot – I say this tongue in cheek – and found American husbands.  Now their voices are heard in family issues.  Now THEY have the power, because they have access to the money.  And it ALL boils down to money unfortunately.  If it’s so easy for us to see, why can’t they?  I have practically come right out and said it to one of my closer friends and he just doesn’t want to believe me.  So I just stay quiet and thank God that my wife has my back.

But I got off on a rant… sorry

So anyway, Gerlie and Russell hatched a plan to surprise their parents and show up for their youngest brother’s graduation ceremony.  Only Gerlie, Russell and one cousin knew.  Occasionally some of her family comes on PL to see if I am posting, so I had to keep quiet here.  Now that they are there and the surprise was successfully executed, I can share my feelings with you guys.

So what changed, you ask?  Why did I change my mind about them travelling without me?  It’s simple really.  I remember one of the old school guys on here – Ray or Dave will have to remind me which one – was deathly afraid of flying.  He tried everything, but kept pulling out at the least minute.  I think he even made it to California once, only to turn around and go home without making the trip to the Philippines.  I’m not fond of flying.  Well… to be honest is not the flying I fear, it’s the crashing that I’m trying to avoid.  He once asked me how I found the courage to fly to the Philippines and my answer was simple.  Once the fear of spending my life alone outweighed the fear of flying, it was easy

So basically, the guilt that her parents had never seen their oldest grandson finally outweighed the fear of them going alone, so I gave them my blessing and made things happen with the help of Russell and my family.  With my suspicions about the actual cost – beyond the plane tickets – confirmed there was really no reason to resist any longer.

It took 32 hrs from our doorstep to her parents’.  Gerlie is in good spirits and her parents are overwhelmed with joy.  Howie is having a blast with all his cousins, but has to call every now and then because he “misses daddy”  I just remind him that this is a great experience for him and that he will see me soon. 

“When?” he asks.
“In a few weeks buddy”
“NO! I want daddy now!”
“Just be good to your mother and enjoy seeing Lolo and Lola and I will be here to pick you up when you get back. Okay buddy?”
“Okay… you’ll pick me up with Nana and Papa?”
“Yeah, buddy… Nana and Papa will be there”
“Okay, I love you daddy!  I miss you”
“I miss you too buddy!”

So here I am, a bachelor for three weeks.  If anyone would have told me how much I miss them I would have laughed.  I thought I’d enjoy the peace and quiet, like I did before there was a Mrs. Howard or little Howard running around.  Now the peace and quiet only reminds me that my life may be louder than it used to be, but that noise is my heart beating full of pride, joy and a level of satisfaction that I never dreamed existed before there was a Mrs. Howard and Little Howard.

Funny how things work out, isn’t it?

I hope all is well with all of you!

Keep the faith!

H

[Ray]

Hi H!

You must be thinking of Darrel from Florida. I think he finally made the trip on what, the third attempt? I was just thinking of him the other day and wondering how he and his wife are doing. Anyway, there is nothing to worry about…flying is perfectly safe.




Hey, the wife is flying back next week. Shell be just up the road a piece from Davao. Why don’t you come out to San Diego and we’ll get drunk?

Ray

[Jeff S]

Hang in there big guy. They'll be home before you know it.

[Bob_S]

Howard, you sweet old fart, you're gonna make me cry. 

Nicely written.