STATE of Colombia in regards to Finding a serious partner -- longtime posters

[vallenatoman]

What I want is a NO BULL response here from as many longtime (and new guys if you have REAL knowledge) guys who post here ---- ill rattle off names but theres MANY more: FATHERTIME, JAIMIE, KITTYBOY, RESEARCHER,WILLIAM, the list goes on....
If everyone posts a quick or longer response pertainting to their knowledge of the current STATE of colombia in regards to finding a SERIOUS wife i think I and others can get a pretty good overall view.

SO WHAT is the state of COLOMBIA in regards to finding a serious wife. i want a general overview based on RECENT experienced and data of the state of women in colombia.

Example:

JAIMIE might say well I am a agency owner and what I see is the success rate in X city seems better for stable marriages than X. but id like more detail and your words of course!

FATHERTIME might say: well i have travelled to XXXX places in colombia the last few years and I see this pattern i how women act, are, and it seems the success rate is (general %) success based on my experience and knowledge.


IF enough posters with REAL current experience post we can get a YEAR end or STATE of colombia women for marriage idea of how the climate REALLY is.

I want to know: is the success rate above 50% for serious relationships??? I hope to over the course of the next 2 years  find a lady in colombia and i know theres alot of lurkers whod like a general overview from long time posters.

thanks!

[william3rd]

The success rate is not above 50% in Colombia or, for that matter, above 50% just about anywhere in the foreign bride search.  There are ways to enhance your odds of success- some methods may have higher rates of success than others. Some methods may have success rates of about 10-15%.

Success I define as remaining married for five years. Some agencies try to define success as an engagement. That measure is certainly above 50%. Getting married is probably close to 50%. European Connections once stated on their website that a marriage to a foreign bride was the product of an average of TWO engagements.

As far as statistics go, I do not believe that anyone keeps accurate statistics. The real numbers are the US government records of fiancee visas versus adjustment of status filings. My files only dealt with around a couple hundred Colombian cases, most of whom are no longer married.

[Jeff S]

Guesstimating success rates for different places is pretty silly IMO. Since it takes two to tango, success in a marriage is as much about you as it is about her or where she's from. Probably more about you than her, so if you got what it takes, your success rate can be 100% no matter if you're looking in Medellein, Bogota, St. Petersburg, Kuala Lampur, Ulan Bator, or Cedar City Iowa. Nothing about this pursuit has anything to do with statistics. It's about two individuals.

[whitey]

I have to agree with Jeff - a "successful" marriage completely depends on the two individuals involved.

Let's face it, guys looking for foreign brides aren't exactly "normal".  It's "normal" to find someone in your own hometown, date her for a year or two or more, maybe live together, and then get married.  Flying down to Colombia (for example), trying to conduct a new relationship in a language you barely speak, trying to learn a new culture, going somewhere the government and all your friends and family think is very dangerous, is far from normal.

Those of us who have been around for awhile have heard many stories of guys that meet a woman online, start sending her money right away, fly down once for the wedding and never come back, don't bother to learn the language or culture, etc.  This isn't exactly a recipe for success, although some of these marriages may succeed.  My wife knows of several acquaintences in these types of relationships ... they all talk about it here.

I don't know much about the rest of Colombia, and I know nothing about agencies or meeting someone through an online dating site, but what I can tell you is that there are MANY MANY beautiful and sweet women here in Barranquilla.

I went to BuenaVista mall yesterday with my wife and it was swarming with people. For my taste, I saw more beautiful women in a couple hours than I would see all year at a mall in my city in Canada.  When they go out to the mall, they dress up and look great.  It may be only a pair of tight jeans and a top, but the makeup is on, the hair is done, the high heels are on.  And this isn't just the young girls.  You'll see great looking mothers and even women in the late 40's and 50's that still have the long hair, really make an effort, and look good.

The women here are very affectionate, very loving, and there are many that are very hard working, educated, kind, etc.  On the bus I was noticing that almost all the couples are sitting very close together, holding hands, the woman will often lean her head on the man's shoulder, some of the younger ones are kissing.

If you want a beautiful and affectionate wife, Barranquilla is a great place to go.  Will my marriage ultimately be successful and last until one of us dies?  I don't know.  But I've loved every second of my marriage so far and in the end I think that's all I can ask for.
 

[Gato4Astrid]

I have to agree with Jeff also.  I attended University for Mathematics and statistics was part of the subject.  Statistics are based on facts.  The success rate will go higher if men keep on looking for the right women and vice versa.  Whatever you daw the statistics are including these men who wasted time on looking for bar girls!

If you are looking for the right woman, and if you are well-prepared, and if you are very determinated person, your success rate will be higher.

For example, one poster used to tell me that it is impossible for me to find a Colombian woman because of 3 reasons.  1)  I am deaf,  2)  I am from UK   3)  I do not speak Spanish.   I refused to believe in him.   Last time I checked, he still does not have a steady woman even though he is 1) hearing  2) from USA living in Colombia  3) speak Spanish.       It is all about personalities, self-belief .....

You can find a woman anywhere in the world, and if it is Colombia, remember that NOT ONLY Barranquilla women will give you your love life.  She could be from Cali, Medellin, Bogota, ... so on....

Good luck

[Brazilophile]

I had a Colombian novia several years ago, and have not been to Colombia since 2006 but I want to add my $0.02. 

I strongly agree with Jeff.  Your romantic success anywhere with anyone depends primarily on YOU!  Know what you want in a wife.  Know what you can offer as a husband.  Be consistent in what you ask for and offer.  If you project yourself as serious about marriage, you will attract MANY women who are equally serious about marriage. 

I look south because I find that there are more marriage-minded women in Latin America than here in the US.  Or at least the Latinas, as compared with Americanas, have a view of marriage that is more closely aligned with my own.

[utopiacowboy]

"You'll see great looking mothers and even women in the late 40's and 50's that still have the long hair, really make an effort, and look good."

So true. Check out the avatar of my wife - she is 50 years old.

[whitey]

"You'll see great looking mothers and even women in the late 40's and 50's that still have the long hair, really make an effort, and look good."

So true. Check out the avatar of my wife - she is 50 years old.

Exaaaaactly UC ... you're a lucky man!

[william3rd]

If you get the right person, your success rate is 100%; if not, then zero. . . . . . .

[Kiltboy1]

I fell in love with every Latina I ever dated, so 100% success rate for me

KB

[Researcher]

      I have to agree with what's already been said here.As far as a marriage working out goes, not all depends on one person.But, as far as generalizing goes, something I noticed during my travels is that cities can vary when it comes to women.The differences have been discussed on this board before.The stereotypes such as:Cali women dress skimpy and many are party girls while Bogota women dress more conservatively and tend to be more focused on work and career.To a newby, knowing these kinds of stereotypes might be useful in giving them some kind of an idea as what to expect when arriving but for me were less useful.I always found that there were always many exceptions to these stereotypes and while I still was interested in hearing what others thought I kept that in mind.


   Researcher

     

[alex915]

I have to agree with Jeff also.  I attended University for Mathematics and statistics was part of the subject.  Statistics are based on facts.

Well, there are "lies, damned lies and statistics."

[Gato4Astrid]

Well, there are "lies, damned lies and statistics."

 

[kontra]

Hello Vallenatoman, I have been living here In Medellin for over 2 years now I never post because I don't want to come off as a negative person but I will give the truth based on my experience living here.

I would like to start off by saying that the girls (over 25 years old) here are extremely serious about falling in love and spending there life with somebody If the right guy comes along. When that being said I've seen allot of guys come down here thinking just because they are from a richer country America, Canada , UK etc...That the girls are just going to jump all over you like you are a freaking member of the Beatles...Get real.

I have dated a ton of girls since I have been living here (without the help of an agency since I did take time to learn Spanish) and the ones that have tried to take advantage of me financially have mostly been under 25 years old. Guys if you are serious about finding a wife, why the hell are you trying to date someone under 24 years old. I see It all the time these guys come down here looking for the prettiest girl in the agency. And when she starts asking for gifts and money for her and her friends He goes back to his country whining about all the girls are gold diggers and that the women here only want your money witch is not true...Also the younger girls just IMO just want to have fun and want to someone to take care of them. They are never on time which really pisses me off and when you try to call them they cut off their phone because they don't like to be rushes to beware of that problem as well.

Another thing that pisses me off is people that come down here and don't speak basic Spanish!!!! What kind of Sh*t is that!!!! Nobody down here speak English but you!!!! Learn the darn language. I am a 30 year old Afrcan-American male who lived in the projects in Dallas, Texas and there were allot of Mexicans living in my neighborhood. And It really pissed me off to see allot of Mexicans did not learning English because a relative told them that they don't have to learn English because allot of Americans understand Spanish since the state of Texas is so close to the boarder...Yea right. I say that to say this...I did learn Spanish because a allot of business in Texas are bilingual so I knew it was a skill that I would benefit from In like plus I always has a thing for Latin women

I think that allot guys that they are going to just come down here and all of a sudden everyone is just going to to start speaking English and everything is going to be OK. Well your wrong and allot of girl get frustrated by this because they can't even communicate with the guys and eventhough the guys have no intrest in learing the language they expect here to learn English.....how f'd up is that....again these are my thoughts....But even basic Spanish is better than no Spanish....Communication is the key guys..

Now with all of that being said the women that I have dated over 25 have been amazing that are easy to approach on the street without getting that [snip]ty attitude that you get from American women. They don't play any head games and they don't have a problem expressing how they feel. They have also smart kind, loving and are looking for a strong man to lead them, Now these women are not gold diggers but they do want somebody who is financially stable just like any other women would. Most girls that I date tell me they want to travel but they don't want to leave their family to go to another country. Now It may be different for agency girls but I don't really deal with those since I speak the language....I could go on forever but this thing is getting long...hope this helps...sorry for the bad spelling

[utopiacowboy]

Excellent post, Kontra. I like it.

[Jeff S]

Good stuff kontra. Preach on. 50 year old guys trying to score the hottest early 20s women just because they have a nice fat wallet is where an awful lot of the negativity from the men here, the women there and the outsiders looking in comes from.

[kontra]

This is a re post because I had allot of misspellings in errors since I write mostly in Spanish now..Here I the more correct version since I have a little time

Hello Vallenatoman and Gentlemen, I have been living here In Medellin for over 2 years now but I never post because I don't want to come off as a negative person but I will give the truth based on my experience living here.

I would like to start off by saying that the women (over 25 years old) here are extremely serious about falling in love and spending their life with the right guy. With that being said I've seen allot of guys come down here thinking just because they are from a richer country like America, Canada , UK etc...That the girls are just going to jump all over you like you are a freaking member of the Beatles...Get real!

I have dated a ton of girls since I have been living here (without the help of an agency since I did take time to learn Spanish) and the ones that have tried to take advantage of me financially have mostly been the women under 25 years old. Guys if you are serious about finding a wife, why the hell are you trying to date someone under 24 years old. I see It all the time these guys come down here looking for the prettiest girl in the agency. And when she starts asking for gifts and money for her and her friends He goes back to his country whining about all the girls are gold diggers and that the women here only want your money which is not true...Also the younger girls just IMO just want to have fun and want to someone to take care of them. They are never on time which really pisses me off and when you try to call them they cut off their phones because they don't like to be rushed. So keep that in mind also.

Another thing that pisses me off is people that come down here and don't speak basic Spanish!!!! What kind of Sh*t is that!!!! Nobody down here speak English but you!!!! Learn the darn language. I am a 30 year old Afrcan-American male who lived in the projects in Dallas, Texas and there where allot of Mexicans living in my neighborhood. And It really pissed me off to see allot of these Mexicans did not learning English because a relatives told them that they don't have to learn English because allot of Americans understand Spanish since the state of Texas is so close to the boarder...Yea right. I say that to say this...I did learn Spanish because a allot of businesses in Texas are bilingual so I knew it was a skill that I would benefit from, plus I've always has a thing for Latin women 

I think that allot guys think that they are going to just come down here and all of a sudden everyone is just going to to start speaking English and everything is going to be OK. Well your wrong and allot of girl get frustrated by this because they can't even communicate with the guys and eventhough the guys have no intrest in learing the language they expect here to learn English.....how f'd up is that?....again these are my thoughts....But even basic Spanish is better than no Spanish....Communication is the key guys..

Now with all of that being said the women that I have dated over 25 have been amazing they are easy to approach on the street without getting that [snip]ty attitude that you get from American women. They don't play any head games and they don't have a problem expressing how they feel. They are also smart, kind, loving and are looking for a strong man to lead them, Now these women are not gold diggers but they do want somebody who is financially stable just like any other women would. Most girls that I date tell me they want to travel but they do not want to leave their family to go to another country. Now It may be different for agency girls but I don't really deal with those since I speak the language....I could go on forever but this thing is getting long...hope this helps...sorry for the bad spelling I think I'm to lazy to proof read

[Brazilophile]

Excellent post, Kontra! 

I spent a few days in Medellin 10 years ago (not wife searching) and was not very impressed with the women there.  I found most of them to be quite short (under 160 cm or 5' 3") and chunky.  I did not see many of the tall, slim, European featured women that may men rave about.  Almost all were Indigenous or Mestizo.  I saw no African women and only 2 African men.

I am of African descent and as you said you are, I am curious as to whether you feel your skin color has influenced your experience in Medellin in general and in romance.  Are there more African descendants in Medellin these days than I saw in 1999?  Do the families of the women you date 'concerned' about your skin color?  (Clearly, the women themselves are not or they wouldn't date you.)  Do you think people see you more as an American foreigner than as an African descendant?  After 2 years, how are you being treated differently (or not) now compared to when you first moved to Medellin?

My experiences in Colombia (Cali, Cartagena, and Santa Marta) are that if you are clearly a foreigner who is spending money, you are well treated regardless of your skin color or nationality.  A person who does not have money is not well treated, regardless of skin color.  That said, I have heard derogatory statements about Buenaventura and its residents, who are over 90% African descendants.

[utopiacowboy]

Excellent post, Kontra! 

I spent a few days in Medellin 10 years ago (not wife searching) and was not very impressed with the women there.  I found most of them to be quite short (under 160 cm or 5' 3") and chunky.  I did not see many of the tall, slim, European featured women that may men rave about.  Almost all were Indigenous or Mestizo.  I saw no African women and only 2 African men.

I am of African descent and as you said you are, I am curious as to whether you feel your skin color has influenced your experience in Medellin in general and in romance.  Are there more African descendants in Medellin these days than I saw in 1999?  Do the families of the women you date 'concerned' about your skin color?  (Clearly, the women themselves are not or they wouldn't date you.)  Do you think people see you more as an American foreigner than as an African descendant?  After 2 years, how are you being treated differently (or not) now compared to when you first moved to Medellin?

My experiences in Colombia (Cali, Cartagena, and Santa Marta) are that if you are clearly a foreigner who is spending money, you are well treated regardless of your skin color or nationality.  A person who does not have money is not well treated, regardless of skin color.  That said, I have heard derogatory statements about Buenaventura and its residents, who are over 90% African descendants.

It's a mystery to me where you spent your time in Medellin. I think the women are the hottest on the planet and most of them were NOT short and chunky. Many of them display the classic look of pale skin and jet black hair which is the combination of Native American women and Spanish men that originated the city. About the only statement that I can agree with is that there are few blacks.

[kontra]

Well Brazilophile and Gentlemen, I don't know how It was 10 years ago, but I'm pretty sure allot has changed then...
(Disclamer:This is only coming from my point of view)

THE WOMEN:
Me personally, I'm attracted to the Pasia look. dark eyes, hair dark, slim with curves light to tan skinned...
As far as the European look which to me Is light colored eyes, white skin, blond hair, slim and tall I do see allot of them In my barrio and I have dated a few of them. But the ones that I have dated were spoiled my daddy, had maids, and had no domestic skills what so ever. I felt like I was dating a woman from America and usually at that point I politely get rid of them..(but they do look good as hell!)

An your also right about the height. I don't use agency's but I do use dating sites (even though you really don't need to here If you speak the language.) Allot of girls lie about there height saying they are 5'7, 5'9 etc.. But when you meet them In person they are only around 5'3 to 5'5 which is a plus for me because I'm only 5"8 but when you asked them about it they always say "well that's how tall I am with heels on...maybe that's a culture thing..who knows...

RACE AND SOCIAL CLASS:

I am black and I grew up In a very poor area In America with no whites only blacks and a few hispanics here and there. But me and my siblings were never raised to dislike someone based on the color of their skin. I grew up having friends of all shades and races and had corporate jobs where there were only a few minorities in the the company but I was never mistreated and always rose up the corporate latter based on performance. And I say that to say this, Allot of blacks that I know personally love to pull the race card. They feel like the world owes them something because of slavery...(something that happened over 400 years ago.) Me personally, I don't think like that. If someone doesn't like me I never say "it's because I'm black" It's probably because they justdon't like me. I try to look at everything in a positive light before assuming things.

When I first got to Medellin I was kinda shocked that there were no blacks that lived in my area. I had stayed in panama city, Panama during the housing boom and there were blacks all over the place Allot of the Colombian girls that were living in panama told me that there were allot of black people in Colombia. (Not that It mattered much.) But When I moved Into My high rise condo here in El poblado I did get allot weired looks from people but I think It was just more of people being curious. I usually Dress professional.. suit and tie except on weekends. When I first moved here I rode the public transportation system just to get a feel of the people in the city and I guess a well dress black man in a suit kind of stands out here. I remember pulling out my phone and I heard some woman tell here friends Look! that black man has a blackberry computer phone! And his suit looks good...I wonder were he rented his suit from.....so when she came to asked me where I got my suit because she wanted to rent one from the same place for her uncle. I told her that the suit is mine and she could tell by my accent that I was not from Colombia. When I told her that I was an American Her and her friends were like ohhhh...and after that they was asking If I had a girl friend...lol go figure.

I'm not sure If people understands this but down here there is no middle class crap your either upper class or lower class and no matter what color It's all about class for Instance when I go Into the bank these days to make a deposit the bank manager comes out his office to greet me personally, handles my deposit personally, and fills out my paperwork as well.....Talk about great service.. I also take allot of "model quality" dates to this upscale restaurant in Zona Rosa. The Chief/Owner Comes out the back personally with flowers for my date, escorted me to my usually table, takes my order, and has a waiter wait on us a a few feet from our table. (The Girls are really Impressed by this:) )

Now the down side to all of this is that there are allot of jealous people down here. I'm looking for a beautiful , traditional , domesticated , family oriented housewife and unfortunately allot of these women live in poorer barrios. I thought I was poor growing up, but down here these living conditions might scare the hell out a person who has never been in this type of environment. ( the smells, the loud music, the nosy ass neighbors who want to see the foreigner,etc...Things that we take for granted are consider a luxury down here..like hot water, clean water..and some women go crazy when you invite them over and you have an air conditioner, and Internet connection in your house..I love their reactions...

In America It could take about a year or so someones to meet someones parents but here you will usually meet the family within the first week or so dating the girl....and If you are a foreigner the whole family will be there to meet you at In sometimes 20+ people so be prepared..I have never have had any problems with any of the girls family. they ask the usual questions just to see what kind of person you are and If you can provide for their daughter after that they treat you like your a member of the family, However I have had situations were friends and family were jealous of the girl that I was dating and they were mad at the fact that she was staying with me in my 3 bedroom condo In El Poblado and they were sleeping on the floor somewhere and I don't know why but this situation has caused a few problems in the family.

The reason for this I was told by the girls was that In Colombia, If someone In the family starts doing well they are suppose to share their good fortune with the rest of the family. And I would tell them that In America we are taught to be Independent. And no one Is going to take care you but your self....But once the family..(NOT THE GIRL) starts asking me for things I usually tell the girl to tell them to stop or the relationship is over....well It usually ends the relationship because like they say blood is thicker than water...but only a few women's family have acted like this not all of them. The women over 26 can usually take care of themselves and handle their family and their problems.

Now as the blacks the that I have seen live In the poorer areas...And everytime I see them they give me these dirty looks like....who the hell does he think he's and for a while I was dating allot of girls in this area (non-black) because they women were hot as hell and did not have any attitudes..now sh*t started to hit the fan because the women started talking to each other and I had to find a new place to hunt, but the real reason was this crazy, ugly ass black women stopped me In the street and said How come you always dating them!...why you don't date your own kind? I told her that I don't like black women and went crazy!!! She started spitting that rapid fast Spanish that I could not understand and her friends got involved...at that point I knew it was time for me to get the hell outta there so I ran to my taxi and said "Julio Va mos-Va mos" and we were gone!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have had a few Instances were my race did come into play when I was dating women from upper class families, but the family didn't care about my race to much after they got a chance to know me. They just had these stupid concerns like what will people say, How are you going to handle your kids being teased at school if you guys decide to have a family...like i said stupid stuff my In most cases the girls are strait shooters and will tell you If her family will have a problem with your race so It works out just fine.

In most cases people have stereo types about black people from watch MTV,MOVIES, AND HIP HOP...and Since there are not allot of black people in this area that's all they have to go by but once you break these stereo types you'll be good to go..

Well I hope that answers some of your questions.....Sorry for the misspellings I hate to proof read and I have a date coming soon so I gotta go......
 
 

[JimD]

"Are there more African descendants in Medellin these days than I saw in 1999?"

This may be true to some extent because Colombians seem to be increasingly more mobil.

The largest Black populations in Colombia (as well as in Peru and Ecuador) are found in the coastal cities ie. Barranquilla, Cartagena and Buenaventura and nearby inland cities such as Cali. This is so because the original slave populations settled on the coasts they were brought to and the majortiy of their descendands remain there. If you ask a Black person in Cali where his family is from you will most likely be told Buenaventura (it´s only a two hour bus ride) or Tumaco. There is no direct access to Medellin from the Chocó coast which has a nearly solid black population except by (costly) air. There is bus service to Quibdó which is just inland from the coast but it´s about twelve to fourteen hours over some stretches of bad road. Oviously there is a much lower incidence of travel than between Buenaventura and Cali. Nevertheless while there may be fewer Blacks than in Cali I still saw plenty on my last trip to Medellin a couple of months ago.

To say that the "paisa" stature is either shorter OR taller than the populations of other principal Colombian cities is nonsence.

[Henry]

Interesting information.

Paisa. From what I can determine without having been there myself, is that these are mostly Mestizos and /or Triguena. ??

Somehow I am guessing there are very few northern European types down there. Someone please correct me. <20%.

[JimD]

If you mean Norwegians, Swedes etcetera no not many. The largest single group of foreigners in Colombia is probobly North Americas.

[Brazilophile]

I had taken a 3 week vacation to Cartagena.  The airline I used, Avianca had had a special in which they granted a free round trip to any other city in Colombia.  I had originally chosen Cali, but people I met in Cartagena said Medellin was a nicer city and I should go there.  I had not previously been to either Cali or Medellin.

I spent 3 days in Medellin just walking around seeing the city and the people.  I had stayed in a modest downtown hotel.  I took the elevated train from beginning to end.  I walked around the downtown area, looking at the stores and the types of things sold in them.  I looked at major sites and buildings.  I walked through 4 or 5 residential areas, 1 upscale but not wealthy, the others very modest.  I did not visit any agencies.  I did not go to any clubs.  I did not try to socialize with any women, or anyone at all other than to ask directions to a place, or the name of a place, or the purpose a building or monument.

My post yesterday reported some of my observations over those 3 days.  It was not a comprehensive treatise on Medellin and its people.  Others who have spent more time in Medellin, seen more places, and interacted with more people, might have a different set of observations.  Our respective mileages may vary.  My intent was to ask Kontra about HIS observations.  I did not intend to offend other posters or start a flame war.