Haveing a hard time with a decision

[fathertime]

I think I'm the wrong type of man, because when I look at the women's profiles, I have no clue who might be a good match. I think my better strategy would be to go to the country and let someone know what I'm looking for in a wife.

I don't think that makes you the 'wrong' type of guy.  I was referring to major character flaws, like socially inept, physically repulsive, gullible, all of the above.

I don't know if anybody can look at profiles and say with any real certainty who the matches are, except in the physicality department!  You really gotta meet and interact with the gal a little before you can know much of anything.   
Your strategy seems fine if you can find a person that is going to help you find a lady, but it seems like having an inside connection would be important, especially if you are limited in time like most of us are when travelling.

Fathertime!

[Researcher]

 If the lady is going to be home alone for months it might just be better to let her live in her home country where she can be near friends and family.  

   That is definitely worth considering.Why bother with setting up a home here in the US?Not to mention the visa process could be avoided as well.

  Researcher

[hennatoes]

I don't think that makes you the 'wrong' type of guy.  I was referring to major character flaws, like socially inept, physically repulsive, gullible, all of the above.

I'm an aspie and an introvert. Does that count?

I don't know if anybody can look at profiles and say with any real certainty who the matches are, except in the physicality department!  You really gotta meet and interact with the gal a little before you can know much of anything.

Even physically I can't tell, because there's no way to tell from her picture what she smells or feels like.

Your strategy seems fine if you can find a person that is going to help you find a lady, but it seems like having an inside connection would be important, especially if you are limited in time like most of us are when travelling.

What do you mean by "inside connection"?
I'm thinking of finding a church there and talking with the pastor.

[Ray]

"i have a few friends who are married to Philippians"

Do you know anyone married to Ephesians?

ROFL!

No, but I once knew a guy married to a Corinthian... 

[mudd]

Lets face facts here muddd, there are some ladies from Colombia that are 'stay at homers', you may not run across to many of them because you are probably out whooping it up (and I don't blame you), and the 'stay at homers' are doing what they do, which is stay at home!
My woman is a, stay at homer,  I think Alabamaboy's woman was also a stay at homer, and unless I'm mistaken so is Pivery's, maybe even Whitey's. 

maybe so fathertime ,  but the numbers or odds  of girls from  colombia sticking around compared to girls from the philipines?, i would bet my $$ on a girl from philipines.... with a better chance of a marriage lasting, if the husband was gone for periods of time, than a girl from colombia. Very few " home girls or stay at home girls " from colombia than the philipines, just a different culture and way of life. 

[fathertime]

I'm an aspie and an introvert. Does that count?Even physically I can't tell, because there's no way to tell from her picture what she smells or feels like.What do you mean by "inside connection"?
I'm thinking of finding a church there and talking with the pastor.

Paster idea sounds good to me Hennatoes, if that is the route you want to take
.
I don't know how your behave so it is hard to say how you will be around the Colombian gals.  Being social is not a requirement for all these gals.   

Regarding the  physical parts of the relationship, you just won't know EVERYTHING until you see, interact with the woman.  I still pre-screened through the photos and I'm sure you can do the same.   
What I meant by inside connection, was somebody who would be on your 'team' an help you locate decent prospects for you.  If you have a church that is helping that would be an 'inside connection'.  I choose to use agencies and others have friends that live there so to each his own.

Fathertime!

[robert angel]

I had a car with corinthian leather!--Ricardo Monteblan sold me on it....

[Jeff S]

Listen to F/T. If a guy that looks like him can come home from Colombia with a beautiful wife, think how well a normal guy can do.

[robert angel]

RE:

Listen to F/T. If a guy that looks like him can come home from Colombia with a beautiful wife, think how well a normal guy can do.<<

JeffS is right. And the same holds true in many parts of Asia. If you painted me green and pushed my ears out a wee bit, I'd have a striking resemblance to Shrek and my wife (excuse my lack of modesty) makes Fiona--Shrek's bride, look like a dang DOG!

And back in the Philippines, my wife and her family all have to practically surround me to keep me from flirting--errr--I mean--keep the oh so pretty girls off of me..... I am not allowed in the shopping malls unattended....

[Zon]

I get it, and agree with Mudd that Very Attractive; rather young ( 20 - 25 ) Colombianas can be a handful.  It is hard to imagine a successful relationship with a man with little "game" - physical / personality to be attractive to other women in her social circle. 

That generalization holds less water with Colombianas over the age of 28, and with a greater education and / or coming from an upper class.  Colombia is a BIG place, and anything is possible.

[fathertime]

maybe so fathertime ,  but the numbers or odds  of girls from  colombia sticking around compared to girls from the philipines?, i would bet my $$ on a girl from philipines.... with a better chance of a marriage lasting, if the husband was gone for periods of time, than a girl from colombia. Very few " home girls or stay at home girls " from colombia than the philipines, just a different culture and way of life. 

Well Muud, I can't comment too much on the gals from the Philipines since I haven't any experience there. Maybe you are right, if the culture is more adapted to this type of lifestyle.
 What I can say is that there are SOME gals in Colombia that are young and stay at homers.  Men can travel to Colombia and identify these stay at homers.  My woman is a 'stay at homer' but I wouldn't want to leave her for 3 months at a pop.  If I had long stretches of  out of town work, I guess I would have to leave her in Colombia where she could socialize normally.  In my mind it is a less ideal situation but I suppose two dedicated individuals could make it work.  I know many military families that just make the best of it.
 
Fathertime!

[mudd]

here is my point, well, has really nothing to do with  the difference between a Colombian girl and Philippine girl staying around if the husband is gone from the house few weeks at a time due to his work. ( Philippine girls would win jaja)  

but..................  a close friend of mine who lives in Medellin tried for  5 years to find a  " home girl "  or girls who likes the home life in Medellin , no discos or much partying, drinking ect. He finally gave up and  whet to the Philippines, found  the type of girl he was looking for, and are happily marred  and travel back and forth from Florida and Colombia. i guess he " imported into   Colombia " jajajajajaj

[utopiacowboy]

here is my point, well, has really nothing to do with  the difference between a Colombian girl and Philippine girl staying around if the husband is gone from the house few weeks at a time due to his work. ( Philippine girls would win jaja)  

but..................  a close friend of mine who lives in Medellin tried for  5 years to find a  " home girl "  or girls who likes the home life in Medellin , no discos or much partying, drinking ect. He finally gave up and  whet to the Philippines, found  the type of girl he was looking for, and are happily marred  and travel back and forth from Florida and Colombia. i guess he " imported into   Colombia " jajajajajaj

What nonsense. The guy didn't look very hard. I know a lot of single women in Medellin who tend to stay home - in fact most of the city's hard-working population (normal work week includes a half day on Saturday) is like this. If they socialize they do so at the homes of friends, family or coworkers. He probably spent all his time in bars and clubs looking for a stay at home girl!

[Zon]

UtopiaCowboys observations jibes with mine ...

The type of women who are so unbridled tend to be party girls, without an education, and job responsibilities.  There is a HUGE difference between poor girls with no responsibility, upward mobility, or hope; and those women with a job (no matter how modest by our standards), or profession.

And women from stable families tend to be a little old fashioned in their values, if not their behavior.

But, such women are not very easy for gringos to date (as appears to be the case in Philippines).  There is a trade-up that works positively for gringos, but it is not "off-the-charts" as it appears to be in other regions of the world.

[z_k_g]

There are some keen observations regarding "the stay at home question" and I would like to comment further and also clarify my observations.

But, such women are not very easy for gringos to date (as appears to be the case in Philippines).  There is a trade-up that works positively for gringos, but it is not "off-the-charts" as it appears to be in other regions of the world.

This is spot on and jibes with my experience with latinas, hard to meet the type that would love to be a housewife, stay at home and deal with a hubby gone months on end, etc. 

F3 recalled some horror stories about a pinay robbing a retirement account, or another story about cash found in washed clothing.  These stories were really not relevant to the discussion.  Lets compare apples to apples.  We were not discussing whether to marry a bar girl (prostitute) from the Philippines  or a prostitute from Colombia.

With all things being equal and a guy marries a decent woman from either country, the question is, which woman is more likely to stick it out when faced with sitting at the house for months on end with limited social outlets, a language barrier and thousands of miles away from home?

I think both would do equally well.   However, a typical gringo will be limited in meeting such settled latinas, hence his success rate would be minimal.  The stay at home type latina probably has very little interest in gringos because of their reputations and she is the prize of the locals.   Marrying a foreigner is very low on her list of life choices.

A kano would have a much better opportunity to meet such a woman in the Philippines, hence better odds of success.  The stay at home type pinay is more interested in kanos.  Most are training in nursing, housekeeping and technical fields to leave the RP and work in USA, Japan, Korea, Canada and Europe.  The best of the best are looking for a good foreign man to marry.

Thats my rational.

Your odds are a whole lot better finding a pinay who will stay at home while you are on an oil platform for months on end.

Zulu

[mudd]

utopiacowboy

He probably spent all his time in bars and clubs looking for a stay at home girl

!

you missed the point, he doesn't go to bars, discos, does not drink etc. he was meeting girls through friends, universities and one agency. hey, in my opinion he was looking in the wrong country, the odds for his type of women is very low in Colombia. he got tired of the party girls  and all the lies and found what he was looking for in a diffrent country.  diffrent culture , diffrent way of life. don't knock him for being smart and not settling for some girl that was not what he was looking for, just because she wasn't Colombian.

[Alabamaboy!]

Lets face facts here muddd, there are some ladies from Colombia that are 'stay at homers', you may not run across to many of them because you are probably out whooping it up (and I don't blame you), and the 'stay at homers' are doing what they do, which is stay at home!
My woman is a, stay at homer,  I think Alabamaboy's woman was also a stay at homer, and unless I'm mistaken so is Pivery's, maybe even Whitey's.  

Having a lifestyle where a brand new international wife is going to be home alone for months at a time is just not a great formula for success.  Maybe after the marriage is established, it would be a little more realistic.  If the lady is going to be home alone for months it might just be better to let her live in her home country where she can be near friends and family.  

Fathertime!

Yes my girl is a "stay at homer". That is one reason why I have given this relationship more time than I would normally do because it is a bit of a rarity to find a non-party girl from the Coast. But they do exist and the other guys you mentioned know they do as well.

And these girls are not ugly girls. They are beautiful, young women. But are not into the party scene like most.

[Alabamaboy!]

I was married to a Filipina and have had a couple long relationships with Colombianas, and can say that the Filipinas win in the generalization that they are more home loving, but only by a very slim margin. Not as much as I would have guessed before my own experiences. And I have a pretty large number of contacts, work mates, and family members to draw on for my generalizations. 

The thing is that both places have more than enough candidates available for whatever thing you are looking for.

I have seen the worst of the worst, and the best of the best in both countries.

[InnocentVixen]

lets face it, Colombians are not  the " stay at home "  type, maybe  a Mexican or girl from Honduras would be a better choice, but in general, a Colombian, no way.

It is so easy to forget that all colombianas are latinas but not all latinas are colombianas, which is understandable because of all the agencies and such, but the original poster never mentioned colombianas specifically. So thank you mudd for the reminder.

I think there must be bad women everywhere, just like there must be good women everywhere, this includes Colombia and even the US.

So I would say, yes value yourself, you probably do deserve a wonderful wife, where you look is up to you, some men have a talent to find the wrong women, if after a few tries you find that you are one of those, think really hard about what they have in common and try something different next time, but keep in mind nobody is perfect, if you can't get this in your head you will end up alone and bitter, probably messing up the life of a few good women along your way.

[utopiacowboy]

utopiacowboy
!

you missed the point, he doesn't go to bars, discos, does not drink etc. he was meeting girls through friends, universities and one agency. hey, in my opinion he was looking in the wrong country, the odds for his type of women is very low in Colombia. he got tired of the party girls  and all the lies and found what he was looking for in a diffrent country.  diffrent culture , diffrent way of life. don't knock him for being smart and not settling for some girl that was not what he was looking for, just because she wasn't Colombian.

I disagree completely. I think water finds its own level.