Last Night I Had An Epiphany

[Henry]

I have a question Henry; How about not marrying an AW, or marrying in the US either?

 Lets take Woody for example, since he plans to retire in South America anyway, how might it be beneficial for him to just marry there? 

I'd expat yesterday if I had the money. Unfortunately I dont. Always open to suggestions though.

[bcc_1_2]

That's OK. I will say it. ALL AWs ARE BAD.

Insulting your own mother (assuming she's AW)

As to the OP having an epiphany one night... I would guess more like had some booze alone or with friends and reminisced. It's not like he just woke up and realized he totally got hosed. It's nice to romanticize it and think writing this blog is going to change something. If you are going to write or blog do it for yourself... for your own theraphy. The poor suckers the generation behind you wont listen anyways.  

Not trying to sound cold... but none of my friends listen... well they didn't until they met my wife. But still some of them take tons of crap from their ugly gringa wives/gfs

[Ray]

I have a question Henry; How about not marrying an AW, or marrying in the US either?

 Lets take Woody for example, since he plans to retire in South America anyway, how might it be beneficial for him to just marry there? 

It doesn’t really matter where you marry because valid marriages are almost always recognized in most all countries.

If you marry overseas and bring her here, she can still divorce your arse in the state where she lives.

Ray

[Bob_S]

I'd expat yesterday if I had the money. Unfortunately I dont. Always open to suggestions though.

[jm21-2]

Plus you don't just have the U.S. courts against you, you have an entire foreign government against you.  She can find a way to sneak your kids out of the country (if you think a court order forbidding them from travel will stop her, think again, when she can get her embassy to issue her passports to your kids and away they go).  Then try enforcing a U.S. court issued custody order in a foreign country where they'll tell you to go eff yourself.  You may not have to pay alimony or child support, but you'll never see your kids again.  EVER.

Then there's this new idea of suing on the affidavit of support as a contract...a few federal district courts have allowed it, and if she got on welfare something would probably come back to you too.

In any case, hopefully some people at least get the impression that marrying a foreign spouse (especially if she's going to stay at home and especially especially if she doesn't speak decent English and/or doesn't have much education) is way more risky than marrying a local girl as far as the law is concerned. If you think you got raked over the coals divorcing your American wife, hoo boy are you in for it with a foreign one.

If you want a safe marriage where you aren't going to lose much if it fails then marry an AW who makes similar money to you and invests a similar amount as you. You'll fare better in the custody department too because no one was a stay at home parent.

[Dave H]

Hey TAF and Rob,

I read your stories and hung on word for word! Very similar to my situation...except that I was "One Lucky Bastard," who got primary custodial care (her choice)! Everyone seemed to question it including the judge. The lawyer teaching the "Florida Parent Education and Family Stabilization Course" (divorce with children) class told me that I was "One Lucky Bastard". Maybe I should change my name to..."OLB!"  

OLB

[Bricks]

Hey Dave, I am a OLB too! Thought I should pile on and maybe spread a little hope. For any of you facing a custody battle my advice to you is to be pleasantly stubborn, and don't give in. Everybody just wants to get it over with, so if you just be polite and very unwilling to make concessions things will begin to move more in your favor.

An unending willingness to do the right thing for your kids is also essential. Don't sell yourself short, your kids NEED their Dad, and all to often the step dad doesn't have the ca hones to be a father figure to them. One of the hardest things to do is to back up their Mom's discipline of your kids. You know you have arrived when you can back up the stepdads discipline, when he is in fact right... Nope, I haven't arrive yet, Of course he hasn't been right yet either!