Young Med Student Looking for Advice

[DaveC]

Hi everyone. Been reading this site a lot past few days (much to the chagrin of my studies lol) and becoming more and more interested about meeting some nice Colombian ladies. While not looking for marriage right away, my goal (doesn't have to happen right away, just a goal) would be a serious relationship possibly leading to something more in the future. I do have some questions/concerns though so any advice from the more experienced members would be greatly appreciated:

1. As a young guy (just turned 29, pretty good shape) but also as a student in his last year of studies I've been going back and forth debating whether I would be taken seriously or not. Especially since on the ladies' profiles on many websites, even women in their 20s list their age range going as high as 40 or 50. Though on one hand I feel that it might be a good for me personally in a way, since it would remove most if not all golddiggers as any girl who falls for me now would be doing so while I'm still a student and not making the "big money." But on the other hand, I don't think it's unreasonable for a girl to desire someone with a career already established (I hope to limit this somewhat by targeting girls without kids in the 19-25 age range; women that aren't in a mad rush to get married) so I go back and forth about this as you see but at the end of the day, it doesn't really matter what I think it matters what the Colombianas think.

So I guess what it comes down to in a nutshell is this: would the Colombianas be more likely to view someone like me as a long-term opportunity or as a short-term liability?

2. After much reading and consideration, the best approach as I see it would to take a hybrid one using the cupid sites and individual introductions from an agency or two. I know there is a lot of debate over which one works best so as someone just starting out I think it makes sense to try a little of everything and see what works for me.

I know what will not work for me however; just going down there alone and "winging it" (without any contacts) as some brave souls seem to advocate. Although I've been to several countries, knowing who I am, I am not someone who is just going to arrive in a foreign country with less than fluency in the language, not know anyone and on my very first trip just be a "man about town" asking girls out left and right. To those that can do so, congrats to them! You guys are my heroes! But I know in my heart that's just not me.

At the same time I don't want to begin any communication without at least having some allotted time I could use for making a trip down there as (understandably) it seems that the girls will not take you very seriously without having seen you in person.

3. I would rate my Spanish as basic conversational level. To give you an idea, I've used the Rosetta Stone software and found Level 1 and most of Level 2 to be a complete waste of time: very basic. Level 3 is more of a challenge. I understand this is something I will have to work on and hopefully get progressively better at with some real life experience.  So about a translater, I would strongly prefer not to use one as it seems a bit awkward but perhaps one for a basic introduction it might help... not sure

4. I've heard so much about how webcams and MSN are often used in online communication with Colombianas; should I assume that every girl has one?  Also, and  yes this may sound like I'm a bit rusty; I am actually at dating coming off a long term relationship myself, but could you give me an idea of what a nice introduction from a young man to a Colombiana would sound like?  From the profiles I've read the girls seem to be focused more on one's personality and life goals than on more tangible things which is what I'm used to talking about with American girls. Do they also want to hear the same from guys as well?

Also how best to call Colombia? Should I have a pre paid card, use my own phone, buy one if/when I go down there?

Well I have lots more but I guess that's enough for now! I'll keep on gathering more information, the trip reports I find are especially useful

[jm21-2]

I don't know what your financial situation is like but this is a pretty expensive process, especially if you want to take your time. I don't think your age will be a liability but you should seriously consider how much vacation time you'll have and how much money you'll have to put towards this endeavor. I am using 6-8  weeks of vacation per year and $9,000-12,000. I'm 27 and I don't know a whole lot of guys my age who could pull that off. If you're in a gulf state visiting Colombia it could be a lot less expensive though.

[Bob_S]

on the ladies' profiles on many websites, even women in their 20s list their age range going as high as 40 or 50.

I wouldn't worry about the age range they list.  The girls understand the nature of the game.  And in this game, a lot of the guys who are seeking foreign brides are older men, probably either divorced from their shrew of an American wife or burned out after decades of repeated failure at trying to find a wife in the domestic dating scene.  Most of the younger guys they encounter are just sex tourist players out to sow some oats.  But a younger guy who's serious about finding a wife would be a rare treat for them.  Don't let the age range or limit the girls post on their profile deter you, as long as you let them know up front that you are not just another player out to hump 'em and dump 'em.

[anm8tr]

Here is the best advice you can be given by someone who had been through it already. If you are going to be working too many hours interning then you are in for a disaster unless you find an older possibly more mature lady who might have a little more ambition, but if you expect your beautiful and young Latin wife to sit home bored and wait for you patiently, you are in for a rude awakening. This happened to me already and several other men whom I met during my tryst in Cali back in 1999. All three of us met and married Colombian women, only one made it safely and is alive and well, but living in Colombia with his bride, he found an good one. I will post my disaster story here soon. I have not given up on Latin women being that I live in Arizona and speak Spanish everyday at my company ( I have many Mexican customers) and I also own a beach house in Puerto Penasco and travel there quite frequently. So, yes I have Latina fever!

So my point here in a nutshell, unless you have the time to spend with your bride, then my advice is to wait until you have a schedule intact.

Also! Learn the Latin dances!!!  I have met tons of Colombian women during many trips to Colombia all they all love to dance! It's in their blood. If you show some interest in her culture it will go a long long way! also she won't be so inclined to go out and meet other guys at clubs who do like dancing. This lesson I learned already. I was too naive and uninformed, but back in 1999 the web was not as prevalent as it is now and the communication was very slow!

Good Luck!